“It’s okay.”
Her words repeating that it’s okay weren’t directed at him. It must be her desperation to control herself. Because he knew. Because it’s her. Because she was who she was.
He could never offer only a shell of comfort. He closed his mouth and gently pulled her into his embrace, with a little less strength than before. One day, he remembered her words that she had heard in passing in her dream.
‘You know that? It is said that people feel peaceful just by listening to the heartbeat of someone other than their own. I don’t know if it’s been verified, but is this similar to how a baby who was crying like the world was ending will fall asleep when he or she hears the sound of his or her father’s or mother’s heartbeat? Me? Well… Because I don’t like being touched by anyone…’
At that time, she was so close to him that there was no room for even a piece of paper to fit.
A dream.
He existed only in dreams. So, it probably didn’t apply to ‘someone’. But he hoped. Even now, he hoped that he would not be included in her ‘someone’. He hoped that the beating of her beating heart would be of even as little help as dust to who he was now.
Thud.
And then boom again. The dull sound of his heart passed through her ears and pooled in her chest. Strangely, perhaps strangely, the sounds of the two people’s hearts were gradually becoming synchronized. Eventually, even the exhaled breath became the same. She didn’t push him away.
He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her heart pounding in his hard chest. She no longer muttered her words that she was okay. Because she really was fine without her saying those things. How long has she been like that? She opened her eyes, lifting her head up in his arms.
“It’s hard.”
“It’s a board.”
The two expressed their feelings of holding each other raw and soon burst into laughter. Her bright red hair spilled over the white blanket as she laid her forehead on the bed and laughed. She stretched out on her stomach and let out a sigh.
“Crying and laughing, talking alone, being nervous and not saying anything… It was very varied, really.”
“It wasn’t much different from your usual behavior.”
“It wasn’t to this extent.”
When she opened her mouth to answer, he responded with a dry gaze. She turned her pack head away from him. She was used to forgetting her age and behaving like a child in front of him. She was only used to it when she was with him.
He put his hands under her armpits and lifted her up.
“Your neck hurts.”
“Huh.”
Slowly, she moved her body and wrapped the blanket around her body. She, now in her caterpillar state, yawned loudly without realizing it. Her swollen eyelids were unbearably heavy, and perhaps because she was finally getting drunk, she felt sleepy and wanted to lie down and sleep right away. With him by her side, the feeling of falling into an unknown place like before disappeared like a lie. Of course, just because she felt better didn’t mean the situation itself was resolved. She couldn’t solve it, she didn’t even know what the problem was, let alone a solution. She may not be able to do anything about it on her own right now, or it may be a problem that she couldn’t do anything about over time. She lifted her head slightly and bumped the side of her head against the palm of her hand as she placed the pillow beneath her.
“Go to sleep now.”
The sound that came out as if she was throwing it was as friendly as it was in his dream, and a heartless laugh escaped him.
“Because I will be by your side.”
She giggled out loud as she whispered additional words.
“Who on earth is calling you a villain or a black man? I want to spank that stupid mouth and kick its butt.”
“Sooner or later, the emperor or crown prince’s butt will be on fire.”
“The emperor and crown prince. Okay, I remembered. You guys, get your butts out and wait.”
Asili gritted her teeth in needless seriousness. He tapped her forehead and whispered again.
“Just go to sleep.”
He too sat down next to her as she continued to yawn. The bed was so big that two people could lie down on it for a long time. She asked, as if she suddenly remembered her slow blinking.
“Now that you think about it, do you know?”
“Yes, Asili.”
“That’s my name.”
Asili. The name he called without making a sound wasn’t bad. The name he said. The name he called her.
Really. It was not bad.
“If only I knew.”
In the middle of her speech, she yawned again, and tears fell from the corners of her eyes. The sound became quieter than a whisper, and he was sleepy.
“My name… name is…”
Through her blurred vision, she saw his squinting face. He was smiling like that again. If he was going to use that face like that, he’d rather give it to her… His voice, along with a low laugh, spread through her ears as she thought nonsense.
“Ludwig.”
* * *
By the time Asili fainted and fell asleep. None of the three aides opened their mouths. A silence that was deeper and heavier than ever was pressing down between the three. The night was already deep and dawn was approaching. The documents that needed to be processed had piled up like a mountain range, but since everyone who had to move was silent like a still screen, it seemed impossible to finish today’s documents on time.
It’s been years since he wasted time like that.
The youngest aide spoke first.
“Will the sun rise in the west tomorrow?”
“Today the moon also rose properly in the east. Even tomorrow, it will rise in the east…”
Whenever he said something, a middle-aged aide who scolded him immediately responded and trailed off his words. The shock of what happened a little while ago was too great to assume that the sun would rise in the east.
‘No wait…’
“Oh my god, what time is it?”
After sitting in the same position for a long time, he suddenly got up, stumbled and fell forward. The young aide got up in shock and fell forward in the same position just a few seconds later. The aide, the eldest of the three, clicked his tongue as he looked down at the top of the heads of the two people lined up side by side.
“It was a little after 1 a.m. I didn’t even notice how time passed.”
Contrary to his calm voice, his fingers nervously turned the pen, and upon hearing the answer that it was 1 a.m., the other two aides cried out silently, remembering the pain of falling and the documents waiting to be processed. The young aide put both hands on the floor and stood up.
“What the hell is going on! His Majesty the Grand Duke…! Uuuu!”
“I understand that you don’t have to yell like that, so just shut your mouth. My head is pounding.”
A moan full of resentment escaped from his mouth, which was blocked by the aide who was right next to him, and then disappeared. A calm voice rang out in the quiet study room again.
“His Royal Highness was in the bedroom with the woman.”
When he said it out loud, it felt even more unrealistic. The speed of the pen that the old aide was twirling became faster and faster. His Highness and the Lady. And the bedroom.
“After all, I am dreaming right now!”
“For the first time since I began working under His Highness, I agree.”
“Come to your senses. Because it’s not a dream.”
The older aide, who glanced at the middle-aged aide who expressed strong agreement, carefully stood up. A crackling sound rang out from his stiff body like an orchestra. With a groan, he patted the back of his neck and climbed up the mountain of documents. Eventually, he reached the Grand Duke’s desk and pulled out a sheet from a stack of high-priority documents. List of parties selecting candidates for the Grand Duchess. The title was engraved so large that even an elderly person with bleary eyes could recognize it at once.
“The day after tomorrow, no, it’s past 1 a.m., so isn’t this a list of ladies who will come to the party tomorrow?”
“There are four or five ladies whose place of stay has not yet been confirmed.”
Before they knew it, the two aides, dragging their heavy bodies, placed their chins on the shoulders of the older aide and chatted before falling silent.
Grand Duchess.
The person who would become the wife of His Highness the Grand Duke. Since it was a matter that His Majesty the Grand Duke was not as interested in as an ant’s leg, the three of them had a hard time struggling to somehow throw a party. The time they had to endure the dryer-than-desert eyes of His Highness the Grand Duke, the person with the final decision-making power, was really… As he remembered the journey leading up to this damn party, tears filled his eyes.
“This… I don’t think this party could really happen… It really was an incredible start, wasn’t it!”
The young aide’s words, which began in tears, ended with a loud shout.
“You insist that he marry before His Royal Highness the Crown Prince! His Royal Highness will not be able to get married for the next ten years…”
“You don’t know how people work, right? Even if it’s just today’s work, it’s the same.”
The older aide appropriately cut off the words of the middle-aged aide, whose sincerity was coming out without me realizing it. However, without any reward for doing so, the young aide spoke passionately with an expression of extreme sadness.
“Why does His Highness need to get married first in order to attract the interest of His Highness the Crown Prince, who has no interest in the heir?”
In the quiet early morning, the voice rang out in the even quieter study. The middle-aged aide tapped the younger aide on the shoulder and nodded, while the older aide narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth.
“I would like to clarify that what you just said is entirely your opinion and has no connection whatsoever with His Highness’s intentions.”
He added, lowering his voice.
“Of course, I strongly agree with your opinion. It really makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it every hour and every second that His Majesty the Grand Duke is acting like a villain because of that lucky idiot.”
It was such an absurd imperial command that he still remembers it clearly.
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Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. I hope you liked it <3
If you like my work please support me with Ko-fi or Patreon. Next post will be released on March, 27.
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