Chapter 6
“Are you saying the problem is that I’m not your type? Noble marriages don’t usually work that way, but I understand. So, what is it that you don’t like? My face? My body?”
“……”
“Tell me your preferences. I can change my look with makeup and hair dye. I can even adjust my speech and behavior to suit your tastes, Your Highness.”
Ludger suddenly stood up from his seat.
“Lady Eckhart is leaving. Escort her out.”
Is this a dismissal?
“I’m not ready to leave yet.”
“Get her into the carriage, quickly.”
A maid approached and bowed apologetically.
“I’m sorry, Lady Eckhart. Let’s head to the carriage.”
The maid grabbed my arm, but I shook it off roughly.
“I won’t leave until I have His Highness’s permission!”
I glared at Ludger, fuming. He returned to his usual calm and expressionless face, as if nothing had happened. He really had no feelings for me.
Hadn’t we gotten along fairly well before he cut off contact? To be honest, the reason for the cutoff was because Ludger had abruptly ghosted me.
We hadn’t made any formal plans, but we had an unspoken meeting spot. A giant, solitary old tree in the forest. Ludger and I always waited for each other in front of that tree.
But one day, he stopped showing up. I figured it wasn’t a big deal since sometimes something came up and we couldn’t meet for a day or two. The next day, I went to the tree again at the usual time, but he wasn’t there. Two days passed, then three. Several days went by.
Tired of waiting for him, I visited the cottage in Northern Light where he and the former empress lived. Strangely, the cottage was empty too. I wandered around the surrounding forest looking for him, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Caught in an unexpected downpour, I returned to the mansion soaking wet. My parents, who had been anxiously waiting for me, scolded me for the first time.
After that, I never went to the tree again.
That’s how we lost contact, but… I’m doing all this because I still want to save you.
The blood rushed to my head, and suddenly, the world started spinning.
“Huh?”
It wasn’t just a feeling; the world really was spinning. Then, in an instant, it was as if someone had turned off the lights—everything went black, and I couldn’t see anything anymore.
It felt familiar. It was similar to the sensation I had when Baal’s sword pierced my chest.
Ah, so I really am dying now.
The reason I found myself in this time again after dying must have been because of my lingering regrets. My lifelong regret was not being able to hold onto Ludger.
I had considered various ways and tried executing a plan I was confident in, but the result was failure.
At this point, I actually felt relieved.
Even if I went back to the past again, I probably wouldn’t be able to hold onto him.
Was the flash of my life trying to tell me that?
In the end, there’s no way to kill Cesar. Accepting defeat, the strength began to drain from my body.
It seemed like this was really the end.
“Tessa!”
Someone called out my name in desperation. Unlike when Cesar called me, it didn’t send shivers down my spine.
Instead, it made me unbearably sad.
* * *
“She’s still asleep.”
“If she doesn’t wake up soon, things might get difficult. That’s what the doctor said. If she stays like this, her health could be seriously affected.”
“Oh really? Should we try shaking her before things get worse?”
“We’ve already tried that. Should we pinch her?”
“We shouldn’t do that to a noble lady, but we don’t have a choice. It’s better for her to feel a little pain than to ruin her health. Where should we pinch?”
“I’ve been pinched before, and the arm hurts the most!”
Wait! Don’t pinch me! I hate pain!
Feeling a threat to my life, I opened my eyes wide.
I saw a familiar ceiling. Heavy, muted wallpaper and an emblem shaped like lilies.
It was the emblem of the Northern Light family.
‘Why?’
Why am I still in the past?
And time had even moved forward.
“Oh my, Lady Eckhart! You’re awake?”
“You’ve been asleep for three days. Are you alright?”
What? Three days?
Three days was more than enough time for that stubborn Ludger to pack his things and leave for the battlefield.
“Where is the Young Duke?”
Please, please let him still be here.
“If you’re looking for the Young Duke, he should be in his office. Oh, I should go tell him that Lady Eckhart has woken up.”
Thank goodness. He hadn’t left for the battlefield yet.
Knowing that was enough. There was no need to call him over.
‘Honestly, I don’t really want to see his face.’
Remembering how he had firmly built a wall between us made my mood sink. But before I could stop her, one of the maids quickly disappeared out the door.
It was annoying, but meeting Ludger wasn’t the important thing right now.
Time continued to move forward.
Unlike in my dreams, things weren’t going the way I wanted.
‘No way.’
Is this not just a dream?
I suddenly got goosebumps and rubbed my arm. From the feel of my bare skin, it didn’t seem like a mere illusion. It felt real.
Then there’s only one possibility left.
‘But that doesn’t make sense.’
How could a person go back in time?
Even if I really had returned to the past, why, of all times, was it this moment?
Why was it right after my parents had passed away?
I had returned to the past with memories of the future. If that were the case, wouldn’t it have been better to go back to when my parents were still alive?
I would have saved my beloved parents and told them all the things I had kept in my heart. If I had been given the chance, I would have hugged them tight and told them how much I loved them.
The unfairness and sadness made my chest feel tight.
At that moment, the maid who had stayed in the room leaned in close.
“I heard you proposed to the Young Duke. We fully support you, Lady Eckhart!”
This wasn’t the same maid who had been present during my conversation with Ludger.
How did she know about the conversation we had?
It seemed the maid from that day had spread the rumor.
“However, if you’re serious about the Young Duke, I think you should act quickly.”
“Why?”
“Because you have competition.”
That was as shocking as the realization that this was all real.
“Competition?”
Objectively speaking, Ludger was handsome.
I had thought he looked good when he was younger, but now that he was fully grown, he was incredibly handsome. He was a full head taller than most people, with a solid body that was evident even through his clothes, sculpted hands, and neatly defined features. He was the kind of man who could make passersby stop in their tracks and stare in awe.
Surely, more than a few women must have him in their hearts.
‘But that’s all they can do—keep him in their hearts.’
The moment someone shows they like Ludger, they’ll fall out of favor with the Emperor. They must like him enough to risk their lives for it.
“Who is this woman?”
“She’s not a lady. It’s Leah, the head maid of the main estate. She’s after the position of duchess.”
Ah, the head maid.
She’s probably a commoner.
That changes things.
Ludger’s father passed away when he was born, and his mother is a commoner. He’s a royal with so little power that his very survival is a miracle.
The Emperor is blocking his marriage because he’s worried Ludger might gain support from the nobility. But if he marries a powerless commoner, not only will the Emperor not interfere, he’ll probably offer the palace for the wedding and personally throw a grand celebration.
‘Hmm, but…’
The maid delivering the news didn’t seem pleased about it. She didn’t seem to like the head maid.
If the head maid hadn’t earned the maids’ respect, the reason must be obvious. It either means she torments her subordinates or is incompetent.
“I really hope things turn out the way you want, Lady Eckhart!”
She seemed to be placing her hope in me instead.
I still didn’t know how a dead person like me had returned to the past.
No, more importantly, I had no idea how things were playing out right now.
I needed time to sort out my thoughts.
But one thing was clear.
‘The past is changing.’
I hadn’t been able to convince Ludger, but I did achieve my goal of keeping him from leaving.
My courage had made a meaningful impact.
‘If this is truly reality…’
My actions were changing the future.
Now that I knew that, I couldn’t just sit still.
* * *
The elderly physician took my wrist and began checking my pulse.
“Hmm, I heard you haven’t slept properly for over ten days and that you’ve also skipped meals.”
After my parents’ funeral, I had been out of my mind for a while.
I couldn’t remember how many sleepless nights my past self had endured, so I kept my mouth shut.
Ludger answered for me.
“That’s right. It’s been exactly ten days.”
How do you know that so well?
“It seems you collapsed from pushing yourself to the limit. It’s just accumulated exhaustion, so there’s no need to worry too much.”
“She can’t even get out of bed, and you’re saying not to worry?”
“Yes, it’s simply because her energy is completely depleted. If she rests well and eats nutritious food, she’ll recover.”
Ludger, his gaze fixed on the physician, asked, “How long will it take for her to fully recover?”
“Her pulse is weak, but she’s young, so it shouldn’t take long.”
“That’s not a very satisfying answer.”
“I apologize, Young Duke. Since recovery depends entirely on the Lady’s stamina, I cannot give a definitive answer.”
“Provide her with additional nutritional supplements.”
“…Understood.”
With a wave of his hand, Ludger signaled that the conversation was over. The physician and the maids bowed and left the room.
I was now alone with Ludger.
Standing by the bed with his arms crossed, Ludger finally broke the silence.
Thanks for the chapter