A multitude of images flashed through my mind. Is this what they call a ‘life-flashing-before-your-eyes’ moment?
It started with the most recent memories. The moment I treated the wounded naval officer after the naval battle, the moment I received new medical knowledge from the Wittar Medical Association, the expeditions I occasionally joined, all the training I received from the navy, the times I spent with my father on holidays, the precious friends I made in the navy, and…
‘This is…’
I saw myself crying, staring at the empty horizon. After realizing I was left alone, I dragged my aching body, but there was no sign of the ship on the horizon… It was such a painful moment that I involuntarily turned my head away.
However, the loud laughter that followed forced my eyes wide open.
“Look at this! Isn’t it amazing? This expedition was a success!”
“Haha, Captain, look at this. This gem alone is worth 150,000 Wetten. How much would the necklace be worth then!”
“Lala! Come here. Even though the captain looks like this, he is smitten by you…”
Moments of finding treasure and partying together, laughing in the storm without realizing the danger.
When it was time for a member of the pirate crew to leave, I would cry and beg them not to go. When I was in so much pain that I was groaning, everyone took turns coming to see me.
The memories became increasingly blurry. I rubbed my eyes harshly.
“Ah, aaahh.”
I had buried all the memories of love deep beneath the surface to resent them.
I recalled the moment when I was burning with fever from being hit by wind and rain. A huge shadow entered the room where I was alone, panting with colored, excited breaths.
“Are you in much pain? Ethan said you would get better soon, so don’t worry. Despite appearances, he has a first-class certificate from the Wittar Medical Association…”
It was Nereus. Even in moments I couldn’t clearly remember, he was there. How could I have doubted him? Caelum loved me entirely.
They loved and cherished me… I was truly their family. A daughter and a sister.
I regretted it bitterly. I should have doubted them less and died instead.
How could I, who was raised with such clear love, have doubted their hearts?
‘Please give me a chance.’
Everything I experienced and saw floated to the surface. What remained at the end was profound loneliness and regret.
I would fall into hell. Though the Caelum Pirates would also go to hell because they were pirates, I would never see them again.
What I desired most was to see the Caelum Pirates again…
Hell wouldn’t grant such mercy.
Flash.
Suddenly, a blinding light pierced my eyes.
‘W-what is happening?’
The ceiling was unfamiliar but strangely felt familiar.
‘Did I survive?’
Even though I ate the most lethal poison known only in legends? This meant one of two things: Nereus brought a fake or the navy did everything to keep me alive.
But the reason didn’t matter. What mattered was that I survived, and the navy would use me as a means to end the ‘Age of Darkness.’
After being imprisoned and tortured for days, I would confess to crimes I didn’t commit, and my loyal ten years would be portrayed as a decade of espionage for the Caelum Pirates, leading to my stoning on the execution platform.
‘My ten years…’
Was my loyalty worth so little? Considering I was a pirate, it was stranger to have been trusted. I sighed at the predictably grim future when suddenly, a fierce face filled my vision.
“……! Are you awake?”
“Oh my god, Polaris! Let’s call the captain!”
“…….?”
The faces were unfamiliar but familiar. They were the crew of the Caelum Pirates, my previous family.
‘But they look so, so young?’
I couldn’t grasp what was happening.
“Captain―! Polaris is awake!”
“Captain! Hurry! Our child is awake!”
They called out to Nereus so loudly it hurt my ears. Immediately, I heard loud thumping sounds, and a rough-looking man almost broke the door as he rushed into the room.
“Lala!!”
It was none other than Nereus Caelum.
“…Dad?”
I barely managed to turn my head to look at him. For some reason, my throat was scratchy and my voice wouldn’t come out properly.
‘Nereus is alive?’
And looking healthy and young. Nereus was alive.
I was surprised by the fact that he was alive, but Nereus seemed more shocked that I called him ‘Dad.’ He was just standing there, frozen.
‘Well, I never called him Dad before I died.’
At most, I called him Captain. Sometimes, secretly to myself, I called him Dad, but never directly to him.
I tried to get up, but I realized something strange.
“………?”
Why am I so small?
I opened and closed my hand, watching my small fingers move.
“Huh?”
It was so ridiculous that a stupid sound came out of my mouth.
‘Wasn’t this supposed to be a reunion in the afterlife?!’
It didn’t seem like I was in a navy building, and seeing people who were supposed to be dead made me think I had died too. The others also looked younger, but maybe my memories were distorted because I hadn’t seen them in so long.
But I was definitely younger. This was the body and hands of a very young child.
“How… how am I alive?”
When I mumbled in a confused voice, Ethan Ignis, the ship’s doctor, answered.
“If you had died, I would have been the first to greet you in the afterlife, Polaris.”
“Ethan? Your beard isn’t white.”
Before Ethan left the island, his beard was completely white. At my words, Ethan looked surprised, and the crew members around him burst into laughter.
“Polaris is saying all sorts of things after coming back from the dead!”
“Maybe she got some kind of foresight after surviving the fever? Like one of those Sixth Family seers.”
As I turned my head, listening to the crew’s conversation in bewilderment, my perspective suddenly shifted upward.
“W-whooooaah?”
Nereus had picked me up and was talking to everyone with an indifferent expression.
“You’re all too noisy. Get out. Polaris just woke up.”
“Captain! You’re the one tiring Polaris out!”
“That abuse of power! Abuse of power!”
All the crew in the room gave him a thumbs-down and booed. Nereus smirked and took out something.
A silver, shiny object…
“If you want to be captain, beat me in a fight.”
A gun.
I was speechless at the familiar, ruthless scene.
‘If my memory serves me right, Nereus only threatened but never actually killed anyone?!’
But what if my memory was distorted because too much time had passed? Pirates were usually rough around the edges.
Seeing my bewildered state, Ethan spoke up.
“Captain, Polaris’s condition is worsening.”
“Polaris, how did you become so weak while being a member of our Caelum Pirate crew?”
“She’s been bedridden with a fever for a week. It’s understandable.”
“A week….”
I muttered that daunting number. No wonder it was hard to talk and move. Nereus, thinking I was just overwhelmed by the number, pinched my nose.
“Yeah, you little rascal. You almost gave us all a heart attack.”
But I didn’t push his hand away, lost in my thoughts.
‘A week-long fever….’
I was always somewhat frail, so falling ill wasn’t unusual.
‘Part of the reason I became a doctor was because I hated being sick….’
But there was only one time I had been unconscious for a week. I remembered that day clearly, but…
‘It can’t be….’
Back then, I was six years old.
However, if I considered their reactions and appearances, it all matched that time.
“Nereus, am I a six years old now?”
“………”
Nereus looked at me steadily, his face growing more serious. Just when I started to worry if I had asked something wrong, he shouted at Ethan.
“Ethan! Hey! Diagnose Polaris again! Does she still have a fever?!”
“Polaris’s fever broke long before she woke up.”
“Then why did you say she’d wake up soon? For you, is the three days a’soon’’? Are you a quack?”
“I may look like this, but I have a first-class certificate from the Wittar Medical Association…. I haven’t renewed it since joining Caelum, though.”
A first-class certificate out of ten. Ethan emphasized this.
“Then why is this happening?”
But Nereus wasn’t convinced. Ethan broke into a cold sweat and looked at me with a pleading expression.
I was at a loss for words in this absurd situation and ended up pinching Nereus’s cheek hard.
What’s this feeling? It felt real…
“Polaris! That hurts… Hey?”
The sudden sense of reality made tears well up in my eyes.
“Hey, hey? Why are you crying? You silly? Hey?”
“Isn’t it because of the captain? Yelling and picking her up when she’s sick.”
“Captain made Polaris cry. Oh no~ Polaris~ The captain is bad, right?”
The crew started speaking in exaggerated tones to comfort me. But their efforts only made me cry harder.
“Waaah…”
“Hey! She’s crying more! What are you going to do?!”
“No, it’s okay. She’s feel relieved, Captain!”
“Exactly!”
“What do you know, you childless fools! You’re being presumptuous!’
“Polaris is our daughter too! What are you talking about!”
“Right! And before I boarded the ship, I took care of my younger siblings a lot! You’re childless too, Captain!”
Nereus held me tightly, even though I must have looked terribly tear-streaked.
“Polaris is my daughter! What nonsense are you talking!”
“……..…!”
I stopped crying, my eyes widening at Nereus’s words.
“Why, why? What’s wrong? Are you annoyed?”
Nereus’s rough tone when I stiffened was something I had learned to interpret differently as I grew older. It was his habit when he was flustered, embarrassed, or worried about me. From his arms, I looked up at him.
“Am I really your daughter, Nereus?”
The other crew members often called me their daughter, but Nereus never did. The most he did was call me ‘Princess’ as a joke.
Sniff.
Acting like a real six-year-old, I sniffled and looked at Nereus. Being in a child’s body seemed to make me act like one. Nereus’s mouth dropped open, and after hesitating, he nodded quickly. He seemed to have briefly considered joking, which was very much like him.
Even if that was the way he had joked, I would have felt a mix of sadness and anger, but it still would have been very Nereus-habbit.
“Of course! If you’re not my daughter or Caelum’s daughter, then whose daughter are you? Didn’t you just call me Dad?”
“……….”
“You always called me Nereus~ Nereus~ so I never called you my daughter out of spite. Should I start calling you my daughter all the time now? Will that stop you from crying?”
Afraid I might cry again, Nereus tried to comfort me with an awkward, exaggerated smile. It only made me tear up more, but I held back and shook my head.
“No, it’s okay. Do you like it when I call you Dad, Nereus?”
“Hmm….”
“…Do you not like it?”
“No!!”
“If there’s one great achievement in my life, it would be hearing you call me Dad, Polaris!!”
For the record, the first ‘No!!’ wasn’t even from Nereus but from another crew member. They shouted as if they wouldn’t allow any silence.
“For the record, I’d like it if you called me Dad too!!”
“Me too!!”
“Oh, I’m fine. Just call me Ethan.”
Among the people reacting loudly and exaggeratedly, Ethan’s usual response stood out as typical of him.
I forgot about crying and laughed at them.
Then, Nereus muttered.
“…They say if you laugh after crying, you’ll get hair in your butt.”
“Huh?”
“I guess I’m going to have a hairy-butt daughter.”
Nereus, who had been watching me anxiously a moment ago, was now grinning mischievously at me.
‘Oh, that familiar face.’
I thought I had forgotten because of the ten years apart, but it was a face that seemed like I’d just seen it yesterday.
He used to joke around like this and make me laugh.
As a child, I would get swept up in it and cry, and the crew would scold him. Nereus would feel guilty about making me cry and reluctantly listen to the crew’s advice.
After growing a bit older, I would get annoyed when he joked around.
And a bit more time after that, he was no longer by my side. Because I had been too afraid of him.
‘And after that…’
Although I struggled, deep down I always thought Nereus would be by my side forever. But I was wrong.
I hugged Nereus’s neck in silence.
“Hmm?”
“…Nereus.”
“Yes.”
Nereus’s large hand patted me gently.
Ah, it’s a thick, warm hand, neither bony nor cold.
“Dad.”
“…Yes?”
“I’ll do well. So don’t leave me.”
No matter what happens, don’t leave me. No, that’s not it.
“No, if you’re going to leave, you have to tell me. Got it?”
Because I knew you would never abandon me, I won’t resent you no matter what happens.
So if that time ever comes, you have to tell me.
“Sweetie, did you have a scary dream?”
“Yeah… It was really scary. I thought you abandoned me, and I was alone for 10 years before I met you again when you were arrested after I became the top of the navy.”
It was a bit exaggerated, and not really a dream… anyway.
“Haha, that sounds like a terrifyingly detailed dream. But it seems there’s no foresight involved. There’s no way our princess would become part of the navy.”
“…Really?”
“Oh, don’t say scary things like that. Besides, why have you suddenly matured so much? If you go through another fever, you’ll be more mature than me.”
“Captain, Polaris has always been mature.”
“That’s right, Captain. Polaris has always been more mature than you.”
“Come out on deck. Let’s have a match.”
I chuckled while hugging Nereus’s neck. Yes, such scenes suited them. Nereus was a free-spirited man who did not fit in with anything shabby.
“Dad, call me like you did earlier.”
“What? Daughter?”
I shook my head while hugging his neck. Nereus hesitated, then realized and groaned. He seemed embarrassed.
“…Lala? Is that what you like?”
“Yes.”
Thanks to that, I remembered. ‘Lala’ was the name Nereus first called me when he heard I had barely woken up from the brink of death at six years old.
Apparently, Nereus had always called me Lala in his heart but never said it out loud, fearing I might dislike it.
After Nereus called me Lala that day, the nickname spread like a trend among the Caelum Pirates. Of course, Nereus started calling me Polaris again at some point.
“I like that name.”
From that day on, I began to consider the Caelum Pirates as my real family.
