The Peaceful Life of a Maid Who Hides Her Power and Enjoys It

<Episode 25>

The more you dig into negative emotions, the more likely it is to be buried in them.

I sat down in the chair opposite Rue’s to erase the painful afterimages that disturbed my mind still.

“Thanks to you, I was saved.”

Fortunately, my voice wasn’t shaking. Rue, who glanced at me, answered indifferently.

“The melted ice cream would’ve been happy to hear that.”

“…did you throw it away?”

“I gave them to the manager of the National Peace Park. Both of them.”

The other voice I heard before I fainted must’ve belonged to the manager then.

“Mr. Rue could have eaten.”

“It would have been nice, but I had to move a certain someone home.”

That was very patronising. But I only nodded calmly, since I had nothing to say.

Thak! – Rue closed the book shut and threw it onto the table before making eye contact with me, with a smile.

“I’m sure I told you to take a seat on a bench and wait quietly, do you not think so too?”

The grimly drawn smile in the dark was more eerie than I could imagine.

The smile was completely fused with the unique dark and gorgeous aura that Rue’s features accompanied, and it seemed like he would grab a tool out of nowhere in an instant and hit me on the back of my head, saying ‘I don’t need a dog that doesn’t listen!’

So I answered more modestly.

“I owe you.”

“There are a lot of people who owe me. There are few who pay me back.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t leech off you.”

“I have to expect it to worry about it.”

What an unyielding guy. Should I say thank you for not leaving me on the side of the road? huh?

“I thought you might need someone to watch you while you were down, so I brought you to my house. Get back to your place yourself at the right time.”

“You’ve been in this room all this time because of me?”

“Not me, my servants.”

From the beginning…

The line drawn by Rue’s lips became thicker.

“Yes, the garbage that our lovely Miss Daisy has dumped on me to handle.”

I pretended not to hear him.

“The maid doesn’t know what happened today, so don’t make a slip of tongue in front of her.”

I couldn’t pretend not to hear this time.

“What lie did you tell her?”

“Miss Daisy wanted to reflect on what happened the other day for trying to bury a person, so she’s taking special education classes.”

“Mr. Rue… listening to you talk makes my gratitude lessen and my anger rise.”

Shrugging his shoulders with a look, he picked up the book again.

While I was waiting for him to say something more, he fell quietly into reading again. This was an unexpected attitude.

‘I thought you’d ask about my past.’

So as soon as I understood the situation I was in, I’d gotten ready to answer that I served briefly as a foot soldier.

But Rue didn’t seem very interested in it.

‘Or are you being considerate of me?’

A warm-hearted Rue who cares about others.

It really doesn’t suit him. Let’s just assume he’s purely not interested.

There’s only one thing he’s interested in.

Seven Mystery Treasures in the Continent for Children.

I stared quietly at the cover of the book Rue was busy reading.

Perhaps, Rue was looking for the relics of Dian Cecht. It was none of my business what he wanted to use them for. The important thing was that Rue had the ability to distinguish the relics of Dian Cecht, and that he had already discovered the relic hidden in the Weatherwoods mansion.

“Mr. Rue came to the Weatherwoods mansion for the relic of Dian Cecht, didn’t you?”

He made no comment either way.

“Are you going to steal it?”

A cold line was drawn around Rue’s mouth.

“I believe I told you that I’d let you know when you were done blooming the flowers. Are you going to ignore my words and pester me about it anyway?”

Was it because of the atmosphere of this particular night, or was it because Rue had helped me again this time? For some reason, I expressed my honest feelings.

“I’m just curious.”

I was half worried this interest would get in the way of my plans.

The other half was questioning the character, Rue, himself.

He raised his head again. Unlike before, he looked a little serious.

“I’ll tell you just in case. Don’t fall for me.”

“…….”

“Don’t fall in love. You’d only get hurt.”

“When are you going to stop saying that crazy thing?”

Rue laughed softly. It was a much warmer smile than before.

“I have a question, too. Do things like today happen often?”

My lips closed automatically. I didn’t know the conversation would take this turn.

‘… is it often?’

It was a difficult question to answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

It has been four years since the war ended for the world, but it’s been only two months since I opened my eyes.

Therefore, the hallucinations I experienced today could be one that I might experience once every two months, once a year, two years, or the first and last I experience.

“This is the first time.”

“What about nightmares?”

“I also had that for the first time recently.”

“Have you recently gone through an incident that was painful enough to evoke hallucinations and nightmares?”

“Well…”

“Or, on the contrary, was there a pleasant incident that made you forget about your nightmares and hallucinations for a short while?”

“Well.”

“You really don’t know how to answer anything properly.”

“I don’t know if that happened exactly.”

“The initiative in life begins with knowing oneself. Look back on what has happened to you lately, and how it has affected you.”

“…”

“A life without worries. A life without any insight. On the outside, it seems comfortable and happy, but in reality it is tantamount to throwing one’s soul into the dump. A soul that is neither empty nor full is no different than non-existent.”

The flat voice caused a not-so-low wave to raise in my heart.

‘The initiative in life begins with knowing oneself.’

The words were particularly difficult for me, who was always hard on learning.

It was the same when I first learned the sword.

I didn’t have a proper swordsmanship teacher.

I took up arms only with because of my determination to punish my brother’s enemies, the Great Wizard Mephisto and the demon legion. I sharpened my sword to cut flesh and blood.

“Dive into the most essential elements first. If you do that, there’s nothing you can’t achieve.”

Fortunately, there were numerous heroes on the battlefield, and the advice they left me was consistent.

Without needing to learn, I crossed the barrier with just that fact.

Therefore, knowing the essence is what I am most confident about.

So let’s start by digging into the essence.

‘The initiative in life begins with knowing oneself. Knowing me.’

Who am I?

My name is Daisy Fager.

I was once a man called Andert Fager, and long before that — a woman called Fager.

But can I say that I know my existence just by knowing my name?

“Daisy.”

A very common name in the empire.

In the first place, I’d chosen this name because I did not want to attach any special meaning to it. In fact, when you name something, it is bound to contain meaning and affection. The affection made me feel responsible for my existence.

But even with this insincere fake name, I was fine for well over a month. No nightmares, no hallucinations.

Then why did that happen? What instigated that in me? It wasn’t that hard to find an answer.

I was becoming happy to be a maid.

I enjoyed cleaning up the mansion.

I enjoyed my days not being full of killing devils. I enjoyed becoming a member of society,  meeting people, running errands. I liked it when my work was recognised as I finished washing the curtains and sweeping the floor.

And most of all, what entertained me most was myself living as Daisy, not Andert.

But that peace was short-lived.

Ten days after settling in Weatherwoods mansion, I had a nightmare.

In the nightmare dead soldiers clung to me and denied my name being Andert.

In just 10 days, an incident that caused a stir in my peace occurred.

‘The cause was probably…’

I think it was because I wielded my fists at the pub.

No, it was clear.

Every time I used violence, hot blood pumped all over my body. The reason I first opened my mouth in a while was solely because of the liberation that dominated my head at that moment.

I felt myself intact when I weighed on the existence that I defined as evil.

I felt that the time I spent 14 years over wasn’t denied.

It is only now I realised,

I was an awfully duplicitous person.

While hoping to live as Daisy, not Anders, I yearn for recognition of the past I have lived as Anders.

I could not just be a lowly maid.

The second wave was then a little rougher.

This time it was not just a nightmare, but hallucinations.

‘The cause is certain.’

The national peace cemetery.

The moment I saw an unnamed graveyard there.

A wave of regret engulfed me.

The faces of comrades whose names I didn’t hear came to mind.

The names I didn’t ask because I was afraid of remembering them after losing them, and the faces I’d forgotten because I didn’t know their names bloomed one after another in my head.

Why didn’t I ask their names?

If I had asked for their names, wouldn’t those gravestones be filled with the names of the people they belonged to?

Only today, after 14 years, did I feel terrible regret. Guilt drove me to nightmares, and walked me through hallucinations.

So I…

Suddenly, I recalled a small petal blooming in that flower pot.

I remembered the moment when I wandered around the market searching for the cotyledon.

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Ami here again! I think this is all I can do for this week. but this chapter was really emotional. I love how this author writes tragedy.