The Peaceful Life of a Maid Who Hides Her Power and Enjoys It

<Episode 181>

 

I am a man.

Oh, no. Untrue. I am not a man.

Although I have lived as a man for a long time, my mind and soul have always identified as a woman.

 

In fact, I only realized this a few months ago. When I first chose the life of a maid, I didn’t feel the need to distinguish between the man I was, Andert, and Daisy, the woman.

 

If there was a reason why I realized the usefulness of this distinction.

 

It’s you.

 

“Are you done now?”

 

It’s you, Rue.

 

‘You fool.’

I stared at him, who had taken off his jacket with a complicated expression. I was glad to see his clean back, which was incomparable to the one I’d seen in the tower, but I felt depressed that he didn’t recognize me.

 

I don’t know how he interpreted my downcast expression, but Rue’s face distorted slightly as he observed my reaction for a moment.

 

“I must look like some wandering mercenary who rolls around the streets swinging a sword in your eyes, huh? Despite all the fractures and bruises, I’m putting in effort to heal, so don’t try to cling to me three times a day and treat me like a helpless patient unnecessarily.”

 

Yeah… that’s why he looks healed.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I got it. You’re amazing, Captain Rue. You’re incredible, outstanding.”

“Are you mocking me?”

 

It was a feisty warning, as if he was about to hit me, but Rue just lightly shrugged towards me, standing in front of the hot spring.

 

“Take off your clothes and come over here, so I can check.”

…Take them off?

 

“W-Why, why?”

“What’s with the ‘why’? I want to check the condition of your back. Don’t come inside, just show it from there.”

 

With a frightening tone, Rue suddenly took off his pants.

Yes, he took them off.

What? His pants.

 

Like a misty early morning by the riverside, my vision blurred, and I took a step back from the majestic figure, the faint silhouette… the shadow… the back.

 

A moment of panic.

No, not a moment, but a long panic. A prolonged panic. An endless panic…

 

Rue seemed to interpret my silence as disobedience to his command.

“Are you ignoring my words?”

 

When he looked back at me, his brows crumpled adorably. As if mocking my fear, Rue twisted his body, ready to pounce on me at any moment! I gasped and covered my face with both hands.

 

“Hold on! Stop, stop!”

“What the hell…”

“I’m a woman!”

 

Rue’s movement abruptly halted.

I didn’t miss that moment and immediately revealed the most crucial factor that would affect our relationship, which I hadn’t clarified until now.

 

“D-Dian is indeed a man, but I am a woman… I lived as a man for 10 years, but I am definitely a woman. I was born as a woman, so never, ever come up near me from there!”

 

A brief silence settled. As I peeked through my fingers, wondering if he had turned his back again, I saw Rue standing there, spouting nonsense with a serious face.

 

“You don’t like it?”

“Well, then I’ll just go back…”

“Alright.”

 

Not long after, I heard the sound of him stepping quietly into the hot spring. With relief, I lowered my hands and saw his face, leaning against a rock, gazing at me.

 

“Is it fine now?”

 

I reluctantly nodded my head, and Rue gestured for me to come closer.

 

“Come here.”

 

Though I wasn’t inclined to do so, I followed his request. The steam filled the surface of the water, and the hot spring itself wasn’t very transparent, allowing me to relax a bit.

 

Leaning against the smooth rock, Rue lightly tapped my cheek with his fingertips and murmured.

 

“Yeah, no wonder…”

His perceptive gaze carefully examined every part of my face. My heart pounded like it would burst at the thought that his eyes reflected my true appearance instead of Dian’s.

 

“…Are you in trouble?”

 

I wanted to ask what he meant, but my lips couldn’t form the words. It didn’t sound like a question directed at me; it felt more like advice.

 

He removed his hand from my face and asked subtly.

 

“Where’s your body?”

“My body?”

“Yeah, your body. The physical body that contains your soul. Didn’t you say it was separate?”

 

The question ‘When did I say that?’ almost slipped out before I caught myself. Yes, I had just exclaimed that I was born as a woman a moment ago… To shake off the embarrassment, I cleared my throat loudly before responding.

 

“It’s in a place so far away that it’s difficult to explain. You’ll probably never be able to find it.”

I emphasized the word ‘never.’ It meant that he should never even think about finding it and using me as a sword slave or something.

 

As if bothered by my attitude, Rue asked sincerely.

 

“You say that so easily. Will you live your whole life as a parasite in Dian Serenier’s body?”

“No way. I have to go back. I’m not sure exactly when it will happen, though…”

 

Perhaps someday soon?

In fact, the time I spent operating in Dian’s body was gradually decreasing compared to before.

 

Since I started taking the treatment for Glass Violet, my eyes, which used to reflexively open at 5 PM, now didn’t open until around 6 PM. Every day, when I opened my eyes, I could see the minute hand of the clock moving forward at a wider pace.

 

As the time I spent awake continued to be delayed… one day, I would suddenly leave Dian’s body. Just like the day I found out I was suddenly sharing a body with him.

 

“How can you return to a body that is in a place so far away that it’s difficult to explain?”

 

“It’s hard to put into words… but it’s possible because we’re connected.”

 

“Then tell me where it is.”

 

“Why?”

 

“If I find it and bring it back, wouldn’t it be more convenient for you too? You’re leaving Dian Serenier behind in the middle of vengeful rebels after treating him like your own younger brother? I’ll give it a try, so tell me.”

 

“Why you?”

 

It was a question thrown out of pure curiosity, but Rue’s face, already cold and frowning, hardened even more sharply. Sensing that my rebuttal might have sounded like an incentive for an argument, I explained my situation as gently as possible.

 

“Thank you for your kindness, but I don’t need it. It’s up to me and Dian to decide whether we part ways or not. Besides, he’s not as fragile and stupid as you think. If you have time, please pay more attention to Dian instead. In time, he will certainly be a great force for you.”

 

Well, it wasn’t entirely wrong to say that, considering he’ll become the world’s greatest healer in 150 years.

 

“Why me?”

 

But what I received in return was a cold sneer.

 

“Why do you think I’m keeping you alive? Is it because you helped me escape that filthy prison? Because of the promise we made there? Ah, what an unpleasant delusion. Even if I had dragged you around like a lifeless corpse, drained of blood like prey, I still would’ve kept my promise. After all, I did bring you out of there.”

 

“……”

 

“Don’t you understand? Should I say it again? What interests me is not Dian Serenier, but you, with your light-green eyes. But I don’t really know much about you…”

 

He looked at me with an unkind gaze and commanded.

“Now that you understand, just tell me your name.”

 

I retorted bluntly.

 

“Dian Serenier.”

 

“Ah, right. Dian. That’s right. That was your name.”

 

With a momentarily confused expression, Rue nodded for a moment before he playfully pulled me closer by my shoulder.

 

“So?”

 

His firm-but-not-too-firm chest pressed against my forehead. Thump, thump. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat resonated pleasingly, shaking my world. Instinctively, I tried to push Rue away, but the determined body of a swordsman who’d crossed three walls was not easily deterred.

 

“What’s your name?”

A laughter-tinged, distinct breath tickled my ear. What was this? I shouted out, my entire body stiffened like a scream.

 

“You, you pervert! Dian is still a child who hasn’t even reached adulthood! Get away from me!”

“That’s none of my business. If you want to protect your precious Dian Serenier, then answer my questions obediently.”

 

His stunningly beautiful face descended upon me. Descending, descending until our foreheads touched. Goodness. At that moment, I had no choice but to surrender.

 

“A-Ash! Call me Ash!”

 

“Alright… Ash.”

 

With a smirk, Rue suddenly complained, keeping his forehead pressed against mine.

 

“But do I have to go this far to get you to talk? You’re more insidious than I thought. Did you want to get close to me like this? Are you a pervert?”

 

A pervert?

Me?

 

I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t even find my voice. 

Was this what it meant when they said you’re so shocked that you can’t even speak?

 

Rue, who laughed heartily, pushed me away, keeping his distance.

 

“Let’s stop here for today. You may go back, pervert.”

 

I quickly moved my legs in the direction he pushed me, desperately running away. I kept running until the faint heat of the hot springs disappeared into the distance.

 

But at some point, I stopped in the middle, feeling both physically and emotionally worn out.

‘To be attracted to Rue with Dian’s body…’

 

I’m trash.

I’m sorry, Dian. It seems like I really am trash.

I’m sorry for being trash.

I’m truly so sorry…

---

 

Lmao Daisy is going through it