The Peaceful Life of a Maid Who Hides Her Power and Enjoys It

For Boogie, thank you for the ko-fi! ♡

<Episode 134>

 

Raphael’s horse halted.

 

Soon, the vigilant eyes of the hunter which had been scouring the overgrown grasses turned to me.

 

“What I would do if Andert is alive?”

His fierce gaze seemed to challenge me, as if saying, ‘How dare you?’

 

Somehow, it felt like I’d asked something I shouldn’t have, but it wasn’t like I could take back the words that had already escaped my lips.

 

“Yes.”

“That’s a question I wish to ask my sister as well. Wasn’t he your blood?”

“Well, I… I would immediately set out to search for him. I actually searched for a long time.”

 

Raphael, who had been staring at my face, finally matched his pace with mine and spoke slowly.

 

“Do you feel a desire for revenge?”

The question reminded me of the modest stone tomb I had built on Queen Island.

Perhaps that stone tomb, in a way, was the embodiment of the hatred and vengeance I felt towards Mephisto.

 

“Towards Mephisto? Well, I’m not sure. What use is it to feel such a thing for someone who’s already dead?”

 

“It means you would have if he hadn’t died.”

“Not just me, everyone would have.”

I answered, so it was now his turn. Raphael immediately responded to my gesture.

 

“There is only one answer I can give to my sister’s question.”

With a brief pause, his gaze returned to meet mine.

 

“Andert is dead. So, such assumptions are meaningless.”

 

Meaningless.

In a situation where that assumption had already come true, it was not the answer I desired.

 

“Don’t you think I know that? I’m simply asking what you’d do, assuming he was alive.”

“Is such a question meaningful at this point?”

 

Raphael’s response didn’t yield a bit. Instead, it sank even lower and became more sticky.

 

“If he were alive, he would have come to see me. Even if we couldn’t meet, there would have been some form of contact. Whether to inform me that he was alive or to seek help. He would’ve done it through any means necessary.”

 

Raphael’s voice, as sharp as a craftsman’s most honed sword, pierced my heart.

Raphael was right.

 

But I didn’t do that.

Nor did I regret that decision.

Yet… I found myself grasping at words, as if to make excuses.

 

“If there was a valid reason for not appearing?”

 

“He is alive but for some unknown reason, he doesn’t show himself. Are you still caught up in such fantasies, sister?”

 

As he waited for my response, his tightly closed lips curled up in a sneer.

 

“A reason… yes, there could be. But no matter the reason, I cannot accept it.”

 

“….”

 

“If he were alive, I should have been the first he came to see.”

 

Among all the rigid words he spat out, this sentence was the only one that ended like a sigh.

 

Silence filled the air.

 

I couldn’t say anything. Suddenly, I looked down at my hands, which were tightly gripping the reins of my horse, as if it was my only lifeline.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Raphael’s face.

I knew the name of this feeling. It was guilt.

 

Whether my judgement had been right or wrong, this was the most fitting emotions I could feel towards Raphael Zenail as Andert.

The question I’d posed was seemingly trivial, but it was only when it was directed at me that the belated realization of my arrogance weighed heavily on my chest.

 

“…But such a thing didn’t happen. Andert is dead. Now, all I have left of him is my sister.”

 

His tone, which seemed to have sunk, turned fierce once again.

“But as soon as you showed up, you began acting on your own terms carelessly… No, perhaps I was expecting too much. Continue to act as you please. As long as I am alive, I will protect you at all costs.”

 

The horse Raphael was riding picked up speed, heading straight ahead. I followed slowly behind him, sorting through the various emotions that emerged in my mind.

 

Guilt. This was an emotion I deserved to feel. There was no need to shake it off.

Anxiety. He firmly denies even the assumption that Andert is alive. I was afraid to reveal my true identity, but I couldn’t hide it forever. Therefore, I must also bear this.

 

And the rest, an overwhelming frustration, resentment… and also, within them, one thing that couldn’t be properly organized.

 

Doubt.

For the first time since we reunited, I had such doubts.

‘Has Raphael truly accepted me as Andert’s sister?’

 

Raphael had never asked me about Andert.

Could it be because he’d fully accepted my death?

 

No, if that were the case, he wouldn’t have openly expressed his anger like he had just now.

 

I prided myself on knowing Raphael well.

His words were half sincere and half venting. They were not directed at me, but rather a release of betrayal and resentment towards Andert.

 

Why was someone so infinitely rational taking it out on me?

Was it because I’m Andert’s sister?

 

Or perhaps, Raphael has realized…

 

‘That I’m Andert.’

 

Ah.

Ah!

 

‘…Damn it.’

It was so plausible, wasn’t it?

 

‘If I assume that he knows my true identity, then this conversation makes so much more sense…’

 

I didn’t want to believe it.

 

‘Could it be… I’ve been making such a fuss in front of Raphael when he already knew my identity?’

 

My head turned white, and my heart started pounding rapidly.

This was a different level of nervousness I felt when compared to the time when the Swordmaster confirmed who I was. Even if the other person was Natasha, I wouldn’t have trembled nervously like this.

 

I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I’d become a true criminal.

I was a sinner… and I knew I was one, and so did Raphael. But, inevitably, I would have to continue to act like a sinner… like that…

 

Swish.

Suddenly, a clean sound of a blade cutting through the air was heard.

When I looked up, a prey, with its throat pierced, was falling to the ground, its limbs twitching.

 

Originally, as the chief aide, I should have taken care of the prey myself, but Raphael, as if he’d forgotten about my existence, came down from the saddle and brought the prey himself.

 

Feeling confused, ashamed, and strangely altered, I approached him and handed him the water flask.

However, Raphael, with an air of indifference, ignored my goodwill and opened his own flask, taking a sip.

 

It was a great shock to me.

 

“Why…”

 

Raphael, who swallowed the water roughly enough to make his Adam’s apple bob up and down, wiped his mouth and looked at me.

 

Feeling the tip of my nose scrunching sourly, I opened my mouth.

 

“Why don’t you drink the water I give you? Do you hate me now? Are you even disgusted by the water I offer now?”

 

Raphael furrowed his brows in an uncharacteristic manner and scolded me with an incredulous look in his eyes.

 

“Do you think I wouldn’t notice that you filled it with alcohol instead of water?”

 

…

 

…Ah, that’s right.

 

Damn it. I completely forgot. If I wasn’t already trash to him, I’ve become even worse.

 

“Moreover, you moved in the opposite direction of where the prey escaped. It seems like you truly wish to hinder my hunt.”

 

“No, that’s… that’s just me being absent-minded.”

 

“Please spare me your lies.”

 

Afterward, Raphael became fervent in his hunting, as if he had gone mad.

 

Due to my unnecessary guilt, I couldn’t properly carry out my sabotage tactics. In essence, I was nothing more than a spectator. I could be called a sinner spectator.

 

An hour later, the interim scores were reported. A servant came to us personally to inform us of the progress.

 

There were some minor fluctuations in the scores, but at least we remained in the top ranks.

 

“Would you like to designate a new aide?”

 

In response to the servant’s question, Raphael answered while keeping his gaze fixed on me.

“No, let’s keep it like this.”

 

Pretending not to notice his gaze, I smoothly changed the subject.

“Impressive. The score difference with the swordmaster is still the same.”

 

Unlike before, Rafael responded with a noticeably calm voice.

“Nothing to be surprised about. Since he’s not serious about hunting.”

“How do you know that?”

“Isn’t he only selecting noble ladies as his aides? I’m guessing it’s because of his appointments with the noblewomen. Last year, he had knights as his aides and focused on hunting. It seems he doesn’t have any intention of doing that this year.”

 

What was up with the swordmaster? Was he really a casanova? Why was he living such a carefree life right now? I was getting annoyed for no reason.

 

Half an hour later, the first day of the hunt came to an end.

I nervously checked the hunting score before returning to the headquarters.

 

Our team was still in 4th place, just like half an hour ago. The gap in scores had even widened.

 

He said he would work hard.

 

“You’re hopeless, Sir Rowayne.”

 

Sir Rowayne’s cheeks, as he stood next to me, were slightly reddened.

 

“If I were to make an excuse, it’s because the game ran away because of Gern Rosbell’s disturbance…”

 

“Yeah, yeah. There’s still tomorrow, so cheer up.”

“…Tomorrow, it’s not me who needs to cheer up, it’s the Viscount.”

“Oh? Now that you mention it.”

 

Tomorrow, I will be the hunter.

 

“Good job on the hunt today, Viscount.”

“Yeah, you too. See you tomorrow.”

 

When I turned my back, I found Raphael waiting for me.

“I will hand over the item my sister requested the day after tomorrow. Don’t forget to come find me.”

 

If it’s the item I requested…

‘Dian Cecht’s Cage.’

 

My nostrils twitched at the sudden topic.

Guilt boiled over in me yet again as I remembered his unwavering commitment to keep his promises once made.

 

I cleared my throat softly and called out to him as he began to move away.

 

“Raphael.”

He stopped and turned to look at me.

Should I do it? Should I not? After agonizing over it, I approached him and bravely blurted out.

 

“I am a woman.”

 

Raphael responded with a look of his own.

“Well, I can see that.”

 

“Yeah, you can see it. What I mean is… what you see of me, is all of me.”

 

After a long silence, Raphael opened his mouth.

“The way you’re speaking is quite difficult.”

Tilting his head slightly, he made a suggestion to me with a somewhat friendly attitude.

 

“Then, since I am a man, would you dance the first dance at the Hunting Festival’s banquet with me?”

 

The first dance of the Banquet?

‘I was planning to dance with Rowayne.’

 

Considering the steady attention I was receiving, it would help increase his value. Paradoxically, he was also one of the most comfortable people for me to be around in the social world.

 

‘…It’s fine.’

 

Suddenly, I wondered why I was overthinking this so much.

What difference did it make if I didn’t do what I’d planned? It was just a dance. Why couldn’t I dance with Raphael?

 

“Let’s do that.”

With a satisfied expression, Raphael turned back.

And so, the first day of the hunting competition came to an end.

 

And the next day.

Just before the start of the second day’s hunt.

 

“Viscount Weatherwoods. There is someone who wishes to meet you.”

 

I was summoned by the Emperor.

---

 

Daisy is one character that I cannot be angry at for being hesitant or indecisive about revealing a truth. This is because she’s already established the fact that her comrades will probably eventually forgive her for not revealing her true identity to them before. It’s the aftermath she fears.

 

She knows that her future is uncertain. She doesn’t wish for them, especially Raphael, to bear the burden of having to mourn her loss a second time. 

 

It’s heart-wrenching to say the least.

But also, filling his bottle with alcohol to screw him over and then forgetting about it is in classic daisy fager fashion lmao.

thank you again for the ko-fi, boogie!