“Goodbye then.”
Throwing out strange words, he even turned and walked away after saying that.
It’s not, right?
This is so wrong!
Why are you trying to hide your feelings like this?
You! I can’t take it anymore.
“Your Highness!”
I called him in a hurry.
He stopped at the sound of my urgent voice, and I began to pour out a waterfall of words.
So that I can no longer misunderstand or hesitate!
“Your Highness, I’m fine, you can show me all your feelings for me, I really like you, I’m not afraid of you, I don’t hate you, I don’t want to run away from you, you can do whatever you want to do, you can like me, you can be obsessed with me, it’s okay!”
I finally blurted it out to him, who couldn’t seem to get his feelings out no matter how long I waited for him to speak.
I told him that he shouldn’t be so insecure.
You’re going to spend two years living in the blissful illusion that we like each other!
Now that I’ve told you this, do you really understand?
Male lead, I like you.
Please, let’s not be frustrating anymore.
Just love me outright.
I’ll accept all your love.
I’ll take it until the female lead appears.
Hearing me, he stood blankly as if he was lost for words.
The male lead sure is different. Even his blank expression is cool…
“Kailyn Brockburg.”
Finally, Calix opened his mouth.
“Yes, Your Royal Highness!”
Yes, tell me!
Come on!!
“I don’t like or love you and I have no intention of becoming obsessed with you. So you’d better not develop any weird fantasies, just be good with Leon as your father wants. Please don’t give me any more crap.”
“????!!!!!!!!”
What?
What?
What’s this… What do you mean?
I felt like I’d been hit hard with a hammer.
No, I felt like I’d been hit in the head with something much bigger and harder than a hammer.
Are you still trying to hide your feelings?
But… is that weird?
What’s that look on his face?
The one that looks so sincere, like it’s really asking me to stop?
I don’t think that’s it.
I don’t think he’s trying to hide his feelings….
For some reason, his expression, his tone, and his demeanor were so perfectly confident.
It’s not like he can’t show his heart at all, or that he’s suffering from unrequited love.
It was just, hey, that’s genuine, right?
!!!!!!!!!
What the hell is going on here?
Hey, don’t you really love me?
!!!!!!!!
At that moment, a shocking realization came, and I suddenly felt as if the world in the novel was spinning above my head.
*****
How I got back home was even a faint memory.
It just seemed that the unconscious legs moved nonstop and brought me home.
After hearing what the Crown Prince spat out, I was almost beside myself, so I couldn’t remember how I broke up with the Crown Prince after that.
No, it was as if Calix had left me standing there, stiff as a board.
Everything in the world around me had become opaque after Calix’s words.
Because the premise of my novel, which was most important to me as Kailyn, has changed.
Calix’s absolute love and obsession with her, his hold on her life.
That was missing.
I couldn’t understand or interpret how it was missing, but it was completely gone now.
As I finally collapsed onto my bed, I reflected on the conversations I’d had with Calix and his demeanor from the day I’d first met him here to our encounter in the park earlier.
!!!!!
I see!
That’s how it was!
Only then did the whole fact become clear.
It was true.
He had never looked at me with wistful eyes, or with a look of longing.
He just looked cold, distant, or even, in some cases, unpleasant.
As the author of the novel, I finally realized that my unquestioning conviction of his love for me had been putting a filter on his every action and word.
Me, what have I been doing all this time!
I’ve been telling him that it’s okay for him to like me, or that I like him, when he’s nothing like the Calix of the novel!
Even though I’m the daughter of his enemy, the Duke of Brockburg…!
What the hell had I been saying?
Didn’t I say that I liked a love that was persistent and clingy?
Oh, my God!
If I relieved his obsession and gave him confidence that I won’t join the rebellion, my plan, where I believed he wouldn’t kill a woman he loved, has been completely ruined.
Any chance of finding a way for Calix and I to live with our love for each other had been destroyed.
All that was left was for me to die when my father and the Empress were slaughtered by the Crown Prince.
In killing me, he’d have the added pleasure of killing a deranged stalker.
When I reached the training ground, I vividly remembered the feel of the knife against my throat again.
My body shook violently.
No!
I can’t do that!
I don’t want to die like that!
A new plan!
I need another plan that doesn’t involve dying!
My body shuddered with fear at the realization that my survival plan, the one I’d trusted with absolute certainty ever since I’d been possessed, was now completely out of whack and I must find another way.
*****
Ever since I got to know Calix’s thoughts, his real ones, not my misunderstanding, my anxiety has gone up beyond words. To the point where the anxiety I felt before was ridiculous.
It had already been several months since my possession, and the date for the Emperor’s death and Grand Duke Leon’s conspiracy to ascend to the throne was approaching.
I tried more desperately to convince my father to abandon his treasonous plans, but each time he would only repeat the gut-wrenching answer that it was too late.
I felt utterly helpless in front of him, as any hope of convincing him that Calix and I liked each other was gone.
One day, as the days slipped away without me being able to do anything about it, my heart was burning inside.
I was out for a walk when I passed the parlor and heard an unwelcome voice.
Oh! Did he come again?
Yes, it came again.
Crown Prince Eden Darkus.
The three of them, my father, Luke, and Eden, were chatting amiably.
In my novels, Eden had only appeared briefly at the Everetian imperial banquet and at the time of Calix’s murder of me, but he had never been in Everetian this often, much less in my home.
So why was he here again?
“Kailyn, what are you doing without paying your respects to Crown Prince Eden Darkus?”
As I stood there, speechless at the sight of Eden, my father chided me.
“Oh…, I see His Royal Highness the Crown Prince again.”
“So here we are again, Lady Kailyn.”
He looked really cheerful.
You’re still have fun.
Why the hell are you here again?
I’ve got a lot on my mind these days.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m a bit tired after my walk, so I hope you have a pleasant stay.”
As I bowed and headed upstairs, I was greeted by Eden’s not-so-funny comment.
“I hear you’re an avid walker, so how about I join you for a walk tomorrow? I’d love to walk around and see Everen.”
What nonsense?
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I don’t even have a maid accompany me on my walks; I like to go around as I please by myself.”
Actually, I do have a very regular routine, but I’m not in the mood for a walk with you and Ethan, am I?
You’re always playing tricks.
I turned to go up to my room once more, feverishly remembering the philosophy book he had thrown at me.
But my feet were planted firmly on the parlor floor at the next words I heard.
“Lyn, His Highness Darkus will stay at our house for some time. I think it would be good if you showed His Highness a tour of Everen tomorrow.”
“What?”
My voice rose naturally at my father’s words.
What kind of shit was this?
“Miss Kailyn, please take me for a walk tomorrow. This time I’m just on a sightseeing trip to Everen. There are many places I’ve been wanting to visit.”
Oh, my God!
“Excuse me, Your Highness, but… as a state guest, I’m sure it would be much more comfortable for you to stay at the accommodation or hotel provided by the imperial family?”
I offered a feeble protest.
It proved futile, however, as Eden’s next words proved.
“As I said, I’m not here on imperial or diplomatic terms, I’m here on a personal invitation from the Chancellor to do some sightseeing in Everen. There are certain people I wish to meet. ….”
I’m not the one you want to meet, am I?
Just try saying something like that to me!
I glared at him.
Eden was smiling as if he was having fun seeing me like that.
Oh, I hate you!
This foreign crown prince who preys on other people’s weaknesses was supposed to show up later, fight Calix, and connect Lady Estelle to Calix, but why does he keep running into me already?
It didn’t work out well with the male lead, and there was a sigh when only the unwelcome neighbors were twisted.
There’s nothing I can do.
My father invited him to stay at the home, but I can’t say ‘you, get out’.
Giving up, I turned to leave the parlor, but Eden stopped me again.
“Lady Kailyn, did you enjoy the book I gave you last time?”
You bastard.
Did I enjoy it?
“Yes, well, I usually read it before I go to sleep.”
If I open it and read one line, I can fall asleep right away.
So I still haven’t read a single page.
“Oh, it’s kind of weird that you read the book I gave you every time before you go to sleep.”
It’s not that he doesn’t understand… as sly as he is.
“You don’t have to give me such gifts in the future, because the content of the book doesn’t match my philosophy, so it always makes me a little angry.”
“Ah! I see, so this time I have brought you a gift that is more to the princess’ taste.”
With that, he flicked his gaze to a corner of the parlor.
There stood a man I hadn’t realized was there until now. He must be one of Eden’s attendants.
He caught Eden’s eye and approached with a book.
I don’t need it!
“That’s all right, Your Highness. My brother loves books, so you can give it to him, and I’m really tired, so I’m going upstairs.”
With that, I started to storm out of the parlor.
Eden’s voice rang out behind me.
“Oh, I didn’t know Prince Lukeford had this taste in books. This is the book that the princess read at the night market in Everen last time, and I had a hard time finding it. It would be interesting to read it and have a book discussion with her.”
Oh my god!
Oh, oh, oh, oh my god!
I quickly turned to Eden’s entourage.
Safe!
I was able to snatch the book at a desperate moment when it was handed from the attendant’s hand to my brother’s.
I heard Eden laugh with a ‘kuk’ sound.
You rotten little crown prince!!!!!!!
“It’s a gift you worked so hard to get for me, it’s only fitting that I get it. I’m speechless with gratitude, Crown Prince.”
I said hastily, scooping the book up in my arms and hurrying to my room.
Eden Darkus’ laughter seemed to follow me the whole way.
