Chapter 4
“Take it.”
It wasn’t long after his words that Selene carefully placed her hand on his arm.
He wondered if this was what it would feel like to be patted by a small animal.
He asked her to lean on his arm and take it easy, but it didn’t seem to have any weight on it. Selene had only reluctantly put her hand on him.
It was quite a while before they reached the corridors and staircases of the first floor.
Now that they were outside, the sky was already dark and the stars had begun to rise.
His breath rose and fell in time with Selene’s breathing.
Selene, who had gained some confidence in her stride by now, walked briskly to the centre of the courtyard.
In the north, flowers don’t bloom until late spring or early summer. Right now, the centre of the courtyard was a barren expanse of trees with spindly branches.
It’s not a pretty sight, but Selene doesn’t seem to mind. As if she was just glad to be outside, she walked along the stone path that had been paved for human traffic.
Behind her, Barath wandered along, his eyes taking in the land and the stars, the trees and the walls of the inner sanctum, and Selene’s face, smiling slightly.
He found himself in her line of sight as she looked around with those same smiling eyes, and for a moment their eyes met.
It was then, Barath thought, that her smile deepened.
The brief, fleeting eye contact made the back of his head tingle.
He couldn’t make eye contact with her for a while after that; she no longer looked where he was. She kept her eyes fixed on the stars and the city walls, as if she didn’t want to accidentally bump into him.
The look of ecstasy on her face.
…It was something to behold.
In a way, he was glad he’d taken her out as a last ditch effort to push down the notion that this was all bullshit.
Selene really felt like she was in a castle somewhere in the Middle Ages.
She had always imagined herself working abroad, dreaming of Hollywood one day, and her fantasies would come to a head when a film or TV show set in the Middle Ages came out.
A world of magic and spirits and their fantasies and adventures.
Standing in the middle of a huge castle in that world, looking at a ‘real’ building, it felt dreamy, like she was in a dream.
Then her steps stopped.
Maybe she would never be able to go back to Korea again, so should she live like in the original novel?
Should she spend the rest of her life in a room that was colourful and spacious, but she couldn’t get out?
Her gaze moved slowly, searching for Barath.
Selene thought. It seems so improbable to escape from that huge man, standing so imposingly, exuding cold air.
But what would she do to herself if she gave herself to him without earning any of his love?
Can’t you change things just a little bit?
Can’t we just go for a walk together and eat a meal together, face to face?
If you’re going to live as a couple anyway, shouldn’t it be better?
Of course it should be better, but there was another problem.
Selene had no idea how to win his heart. And even if she did know how, she wasn’t sure she could do it.
She wasn’t confident.
She wished she’d ever played a romantic role in an acting career.
Her breath came in long, thin gasps.
Even a dog wouldn’t be out this long on a snowy day.
She was obviously cold, so why didn’t she ask to come inside.
He stood a little distance away from Selene, observing everything about her that he could see.
The hair caught in the branches. The fingertips tidying it up. The shoes that occasionally peeked out from under her skirt. Even her earlobes, reddening slightly in the cold air.
She stood still for a long moment, and when her eyes slowly fixed on him, Barath felt like a thunderbolt had struck.
What on earth was she thinking in this place?
What had gone into her head after so long looking at the walls and the stars that her eyes seemed to have gone blank?
He wondered if he was looking at the wrong thing, but her pupils remained unfilled until she turned her head a moment later.
He’d seen eyes like that before.
Many times.
Many, many times.
Despondency, the look of those about to die on the battlefield.
But why her?
He hadn’t brought her here to kill her.
Deciding that perhaps he had misjudged her from a distance and needed to check, Barath moved quickly towards her.
Grabbing her arm to turn her round, he remembered the lightness he’d felt when she’d fallen on top of him, cradled in his arms.
Her waist, which had only been a handful.
How fragile her arms must be.
Barath swallowed hard and stepped past her, a puzzled look on his face, but fundamentally his eyes remained unchanged.
‘Damn it.’
She seemed to like it when they were just outside. She laughed earlier, even when she saw the ugly courtyard and dilapidated walls.
So why did she suddenly turn to him and empty his eyes?
Perhaps it suddenly dawned on her that this was her husband.
Why didn’t she ask me to come inside when she was so cold up close that his nose and cheeks were red.
He was going to freeze to death here.
Barath had to remind himself not to yell, not to scream, not to let his anger show through his long breaths, and to remember where the hell his patience came from.
No, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t scream at the woman he’d paid for.
He cleared his throat with difficulty and tried to keep his voice calm.
“I think we better get back inside.”
Her eyes widened and blinked, and she looked like a harmless little animal. A woman with an innocent face, unafraid of the subject, unable to discern what was dangerous and what was not.
At Barath’s words, Selene started to walk away.
Deep down, he was thinking that if he wants her to freeze to death here, he’ll carry her like a piece of luggage to her room.
She glared at him when he asked her to come in, but she seemed to understand.
But Selene didn’t make it three steps before she froze in place.
Why. No matter how she thinks about it, she might as well freeze to death…
“It’s.”
Her pronunciation was slurred, her cheeks frozen from the cold.
Still, her face was still pale, and her eyes seemed to have some life back in them.
When he didn’t respond, Selene dropped her head as if she had lost her courage.
At the sight of that, Barath opened his mouth without thinking.
“Speak.”
Watching Selene raise her head again at his words, he felt a tightening in his chest.
It was a strange experience, ticklish but not unpleasant.
“Could you please lend me your arm?”
After a moment’s pause to consider what she meant, Barath strode to her side and stood.
He held out his arm and looked down to see that she was shivering violently, as if she’d run out of energy.
When she was playing, she didn’t know if she was cold or not, if she had any energy left or not.
There were still corridors to cross, stairs to climb, and corridors to walk to the Grand Duchess’s chamber, but would her legs last?
How could she, the glassy, no, sugar-doll, go that long way again.
Barath’s thoughts were futile.
Selene leaned on him and walked steadily, and after what seemed like an eternity they reached the room on their own two feet.
The windows were all closed, as if Anna had been away while the room was empty, and the fireplace was warming the air in the room.
Once the door was closed and they were alone in the room, the atmosphere became unbearably awkward. Neither of they knew what to say in this situation.
Eventually, it was Selene who broke the silence and made the first move.
As she entered the room, the warmth of the air warmed her slightly, and she pulled on her cold cloak, wanting to warm herself further.
Barath watched the cloak languish on the floor, and his eyes followed Selene as she left her seat and sat down in front of the fireplace, and before he knew it, he was waddling over and taking a seat beside her.
The flickering fire lit her face mysteriously, and she slowly closed her eyes, basking in the warmth.
It was only when she closed her eyes that Barath was able to look her straight in the face.
A face he hadn’t been able to examine properly, drawn away by the eyes that looked directly at him.
A few stray strands of hair peeked over her flat forehead. Pale golden, wavy hair and eyebrows the same colour. A straight nose. Peachy cheeks and full lips that made him feel sick to his stomach.
Her small lips opened and she began to breathe in deeply.
One eyebrow quirked, she yawned languidly, and then her eyes fluttered open and scanned Barath’s face.
Had he seen her yawning with her mouth open?
Luckily, he was sitting beside her, watching the fire in the fireplace with a stoic demeanour.
Selene drew her knees up and hugged them, resting her temples on them, and watched Barath watch the fire from the side.
She was surprised at how big he was, even while sitting, and how she thought she could roll over and fit into his arms.
She wondered why she was imagining herself being hugged by him, and it was ridiculous.
So far, so good.
It was. She hadn’t known a man for too long, as far as she was concerned, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want one.
It must be because he was the ideal type that had fallen into her life.
With that thought, Selene felt herself slowly drifting off to sleep.
Barath began to look at Selene again. Where was he looking?
His gaze naturally went to those full lips. His gaze slid down along her jaw, and his throat tightened.
There was no reason not to embrace her.
And yet, he couldn’t.
Why?
