Chapter 35
“Yeah, that sounds better than ‘the final battle.’”
Arthur shrugged his shoulders.
“If we get back safely, aren’t you supposed to marry your fiancée?”
“Oh, yes. That’s correct.”
Gale hurriedly answered Debert’s question.
“The operation name is for the Colonel.”
Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle at the audacity of it, but Debert remained as expressionless as ever. Only Gale, who didn’t understand the deeper meaning, expressed his gratitude.
“You are having the love of the century.”
Though it was a pointed joke, the only one who seemed to take it seriously was Gale, whose face turned bright red.
“Why do you keep teasing me, Commander?”
“Enough. Some have faces that burn like gunpowder, while others are as cold as ice.”
Regardless of what was being said next to him, Devert was calmly folding up his operation map.
He’s sharp enough to get it, but he’s pretending not to.
“I’m heading off. You and the Commander Debert can keep discussing proposals.”
“Excuse me?”
Gale’s confusion was apparent, unsure whether Arthur was talking about the ‘proposal’ operation or his own engagement. Despite his many medals, Gale seemed like a simple soldier under the crafty leadership of his two superiors.
“Just don’t try to understand. You two do whatever you want.”
Arthur waved his hand dismissively and disappeared into the dark hallway.
Gale looked to his Commander, hoping for some clarity, but he knew better than to expect such kindness.
After hesitating for a moment, Gale carefully spoke up.
“Then… I’ll take my leave as well.”
Gale, who looked more exhausted than he did after the operation meeting, gave a respectful nod. Debert replied with a slight nod of his own.
Now alone in the empty isolation room, Debert glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight.
He opened the window, and the operation map fluttered in the wind. It was almost ridiculous to think that the lives of millions were dependent on just a single piece of paper.
With a click, a small flame from his lighter turned the map into ashes.
Everything was like this.
Just like the flames that burned fiercely for barely ten seconds before extinguishing, nothing was left after a battle fought with life on the line.
All that remained after a moment of brilliance was a deep emptiness and darkness.
“It’s fortunate that no ghosts follow me.”
Some praised Debert for living a life as intense as a flame. Perhaps they intended it as flattery, but Debert didn’t agree.
He knew he wasn’t as beautiful or bright as a flame. If anything, he believed that the ashes left behind after the fire had burned out were more akin to his true self.
The sound of his boots echoed cleanly as he walked alone down the silent corridor. Even here, with no one watching, Debert’s steps were unwavering.
Cassius had raised him that way.
More like training an animal than raising a person.
A middle-aged man, eerily similar to him.
Eyes of ashen grey, always glaring at everyone with an intensity.
‘I don’t keep useless things.’
Even while spilling blood and collapsing to the ground, he muttered those words.
The scars on his back were not as deeply embedded as the memory of that moment, whether it was real or a hallucination.
“Useless kid…”
There was a time when he thought of it as another of his names.
Debert covered one of his ears. The buzzing sound, which had started in the distance, was getting closer.
Soon, the sound of the whip, which he had heard so many times, would begin again.
* * *
Beth, who was awake alone, blinked in the darkness.
It seemed that everyone had finally succumbed to exhaustion, as they all fell asleep without so much as a word of chatter tonight.
‘Wait for me,’ he had said, so Beth lingered around the hospital even after her shift ended, but Debert never appeared. Holding onto a sliver of hope, she busied herself in the supply room, pretending to organize items, but it was all for nothing.
It wasn’t until she returned to her quarters that she heard from Ines that he was probably in a meeting.
He could have at least mentioned if there was a meeting.
Her small lips pouted slightly. Waiting for an uncertain promise had left her feeling disappointed. The feeling of disappointment was embarrassingly new, but she couldn’t describe it any other way.
Even though she knew it was a promise he wouldn’t keep, Beth leaned against the headboard, using sleeplessness as an excuse. Once again, her eyes drifted to the clock.
Would he really not come?
It had only happened once. He had come to her beneath the window that single time. And yet, she found herself waiting as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She felt utterly foolish.
With a frustrated sigh, Beth started to straighten her bedding when she suddenly turned her head.
Tap.
It was a familiar sound.
Tap.
She quickly opened the bedside window slightly.
“Are you alone?”
There he was, standing exactly as he had the night before. It was almost as if he had heard her innermost thoughts.
“I asked, are you alone?”
The playful smile that was a mirror image of the one from the previous night made Beth frown instantly. Yet, she opened the window a little wider.
As Debert pretended to lean against the window sill as a joke, Beth frantically waved her hand. Surely he wasn’t really going to climb up in front of everyone. His cheek dimpled deeply as he struggled to suppress a smile.
Beth held up her hand, indicating he should wait a moment.
Soon after the window closed, the broken hinge creaked, and a pale face appeared.
“Good evening.”
The greeting, meant to ease the heavy atmosphere, was appropriately light.
Beth, who had expected him to speak brusquely as usual, was taken aback by the unexpected greeting. Although she had boldly come down, now that they were face to face, she had no idea what to say.
“Did you wait?”
Beth’s hand fidgeted in her coat pocket. She searched for paper and a pen, but they weren’t there; she must have left them inside the room again.
In a way, she was relieved; it would have been embarrassing to reply anyway. She shoved her hand deeper into her pocket, lowering her gaze as if avoiding the cold wind.
“Answer me.”
She could see the tip of his military boot as he stepped closer. Above it, his hand, still covered in half-healed wounds from the battlefield, reached out.
Debert was thankful for his cleverness. He was glad that he could recognize and exploit this woman’s weaknesses. Sweet Beth Jane couldn’t push him away if he showed just a hint of vulnerability.
Sure enough, her small hand emerged from her pocket.
[You told me to wait.]
It wasn’t the answer he had hoped for, but it wasn’t a bad response either. Debert felt a sense of contentment, as though he had just savored a satisfying dessert.
Leaning against the outer wall, Debert gazed at the woman before him. Unlike him, who was swallowed by the shadows, her face, bathed in moonlight, appeared particularly pale.
Perhaps everything had been predestined.
The day they met on the dark forest path, the day he revealed his scar, the day she handed him the medicine in the storeroom. All those moments had been leading to this day, to this feeling.
“There was something I wanted to say, but I’ll save it for later.”
Some things only become clear in the darkness.
“I…”
Beth tilted her head slightly. His expression and voice were obscured by the thick shadows. Her delicate hand gripped the edge of his uniform.
As he was pulled closer by the faint strength of her grip, his shadowed face gradually brightened in the moonlight.
Finally able to see him clearly, Beth smiled faintly. Debert, who had been watching her face for a moment, rubbed his eyebrow.
“I’m going to be extremely busy for the next few days.”
Debert’s hand moved to his uniform chest, where he unpinned a brooch and held it out to Beth.
“Keep this with you. I might not be able to see you until the final operation is over.”
The brooch bore the Nexus insignia, a symbol of him.
“Don’t be afraid. I’m just giving it to you.”
That was a lie.
In the upcoming battle, the most dangerous role would be his. It was the surest way to bring the war to an end.
For that, he had to remove anything that identified him as Debert Cliff, starting with his rank insignia. The brooch was the most conspicuous item of all.
He could see her round eyes scrutinizing him, seeking the truth. Debert maintained his usual composed expression. Although she wasn’t particularly skilled at discerning lies, still…
It didn’t matter whether it was a lie or the truth. As long as Beth Jane was the only one left unaware, that was enough.
“And this too.”
He unclasped a necklace.
“You promised to help me quit the medicine.”
Beth stiffened as the scent of the man brushed against the nape of her neck. His lips were right in front of her as he tilted his head slightly.
Even after fastening the necklace, he didn’t pull away, causing her shoulders to hunch. Her eyes, which had been darting about in the air, finally met Debert’s.
With a burst of laughter, his eyes crinkled. His body shook as he buried his face in her tense shoulder.
Beth felt irritated, realizing that once again, she had made a fool of herself. She tried to push him away in a fit of anger, but he didn’t budge. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, making it impossible for her to escape.
After several futile attempts to shove his stone-like body away, Beth resigned herself to waiting patiently for his laughter to subside.
Even after the laughter died down and only the sound of the wind remained, Debert didn’t lift his head. He took a deep breath, savoring the scent as it drifted away on the breeze.
“Do you want me to die?”
He deliberately asked a pointless question. A question to which this woman would never answer yes.
He felt her weakly shake her head.
“Do you want me to live?”
Beth, unable to move her arms as she was held in his embrace, fidgeted. Why was it so embarrassing to say “yes” to such a question?
“Do you want me to live?”
When he repeated the question, she had no choice but to nod. The brooch, clutched tightly in her grip, left a mark on her delicate skin.
“So do I.”
He whispered.
“I want to live too.”
Words he had never said before.
He hoped she wouldn’t grasp the weight of those words.
“Wait for me until I return alive.”
It’s so heavy that he can’t even run away from them.
“I will come back. Wait for me, just like tonight.”
Beth’s hand slowly moved up to his back. The hand that briefly touched and then withdrew felt empty.
Despite her small gesture, he nestled even deeper into her embrace. Although the small space felt anything but warm.
Beth was grateful that she had foolishly waited for his promise.
She was relieved that she hadn’t left this man alone tonight.
At least that much was genuine. (T/L: Why do I feel like these moments are so precious for us readers due to the upcoming events.)
