Chapter 26
Beth silently stared at the outstretched hand.
Last time, she couldn’t even make sense of a single word.
If Debert fails to understand this time as well, she doesn’t think she could bear the misery.
How much more is he going to upset her?
Her resentful gaze turned towards the man.
Debert didn’t avoid her steady gaze. His voice grew softer.
“I’ll really understand it this time, Beth.”
He’s such an unpredictable man.
First, he tells me to die without hesitation, then he saves me by throwing himself into danger. He gets endlessly frustrated and scornful, yet here he is again, comforting me with aimless kindness.
Beth’s fingertips lightly touched Debert.
She didn’t know what to say. But her hand moved faster than the myriad thoughts floating in her mind.
Maybe she wanted to confirm it, that this man would really understand.
The woman’s head bowed. Her eyelashes, dark as the sky outside the window, lowered as if in deep contemplation. Debert didn’t miss any of it.
The lingering coldness of the corridor, a few strands of her hair that had fallen loose, the ink stains on her pale hand from holding a pen too often, and even the scent emanating from her worn nurse’s uniform.
[Good memories]
“Good memories?”
Beth took a deep breath.
[Cover bad memories with good ones]
She couldn’t bear to see his potential confusion, so she looked out of the open window. It was the only good thing about this barren outpost.
At night, you could see stars that seemed like they would pour down at any moment. It was a fleeting moment where she could cast aside her overwhelming thoughts.
She told him to cover bad memories with good ones as if it would really help, but she knows all too well how deceiving those words are. Bad memories etch themselves into you like unpleasant scars.
Wounds can heal, and pain can fade, but scars remain, forcing you to relive that moment over and over. That’s why they’re so terrifying.
He must be the same.
Was there ever a time when he felt joy while taking medicine, smoking a cigar, or drinking?
Would he believe her if she wrote that she hoped he’d feel even a moment’s happiness when she gave him those candies? Even she can’t believe her own feelings.
Lost in her thoughts, Beth suddenly reached into her pocket again. She had forgotten. This was the most important thing.
In the end, the reason he is waiting for her is because of this.
She placed the paper envelope on Debert’s still-outstretched hand. Debert quietly observed Beth’s face, which seemed to be smug for some reason.
“You must think I’m completely obsessed with drugs.”
It was a self-deprecating mutter.
But it wasn’t wrong. He knew all too well what would happen to him without these few pills.
Beth glanced at Debert one last time, as if to confirm. She had done all she could; now only the parting remained. Surely he wouldn’t ask her to write a farewell message on his hand.
Debert’s hand clenched the medicine packet tightly. The fragile paper crumpled easily under his grip.
“You….”
His voice came out, simmering with heat.
Why does she always have that relieved look on her face, as if it feels good to get away from her?
Debert took a step closer.
“Why are you just leaving today?”
Beth took a step back, startled by his sudden approach. She didn’t understand what he was saying, but the strange atmosphere between them made her sense the danger.
Debert shrugged off his shirt with a rough motion. The shadow cast by the light behind him covered the small woman.
Seeing Beth shrink back in fear, Debert let out a short sigh.
“How do you expect me to treat the wound on my back?”
The man, who looked somewhat exhausted, sat on the bed. Through the bandages, scars that looked like they had been scribbled haphazardly by a child could be seen.
‘Why are you just leaving today?’
Today?
The only time she treated his wounds was last night.
For a moment, Beth’s hand frozen.
Could it be that he wasn’t asleep? Surely, he doesn’t know that she touched his hair. Worries flitted through her mind, but soon faded away. There’s no way a man like him would let someone touch his hair.
It was probably a meaningless comment.
This time, Beth let out a small sigh. Why is she overthinking every word and action of this man?
Her hands moved quickly, applying the ointment to prevent her confused thoughts from rising any further.
“Will this make it better?”
Debert asked, feigning ignorance.
He already knew the answer. That these scars would remain until the day he dies.
“Will it?”
He turned to look at Beth.
The woman’s lips quivered slightly, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. He probably thinks it’s absurd. He stared at her trembling red lips.
She can’t even say anything anyway.
The Beth he’d seen so far, when she had something to say, her lips moved before her hands. If he kept watching, it seemed like her voice would definitely flow out of her.
Perhaps that’s why I keep looking.
“It might get better.”
Debert was now certain. He was rather skilled at lying.
“Treat me every night.”
Had he once thought he had a vague understanding of this woman’s weaknesses? He’d take that back.
“I’m in pain.”
A pitiful little wolf pup. That’s what someone once said upon seeing him cry as a child.
He intended to latch onto this woman’s weakness as if sinking his teeth into prey. It wouldn’t be difficult to act like a feeble creature.
He hated seeing the relief on her face every time she thought she could escape me.
“Help me.”
Even if it means stooping to ridiculous pretence to hold onto you.
* * *
A faint blue light illuminated the faces of the soldiers lying down.
Dawn had not yet broken, but the hospital was already preparing for the day.
The sound of hurried footsteps moving between the sleeping men, and the moderate clatter of medicine bottles and supplies, conveyed the peacefulness of the early morning.
In the midst of this quiet bustle, Ines was busy in a different way.
“What are you doing?”
“Ah!”
Ines, who had been applying lipstick in the corner of the supply room, was startled and let out a yelp, her hands trembling.
Beth and Dixie stifled their giggles at the sight of Ines, who usually acted more mature than them, suddenly displaying a girlish demeanour. Ines glared at them while wiping off the smudged lipstick.
“With your fiancé visiting, even the mighty Ines can’t put the mirror down.”
Ines was holding a small mirror in her hand, a sight quite unlike her usual self.
“It’s not that. I just applied some lipstick because I looked pale. That’s all.”
“Sure, sure.”
Dixie didn’t seem inclined to believe her cute excuse. Beth was pleased to see her friend in such high spirits after a long time.
“Beth, would you like to apply some?”
Usually, Beth would have waved it away, but she silently took the lipstick this time. Dixie gave her a meaningful look.
“Everyone’s got a lover, it seems.”
“What? A lover?”
Ines turned her wide eyes to Beth. She understood being teased for having a fiancé, but the idea that “everyone” had a lover was surprising.
Beth lightly tapped Dixie’s shoulder. She was being teased about the so-called ‘date’ with Debert from a few days ago. A date? Hardly. That absurd encounter had nearly cost the man his life.
Ines’ sparkling eyes now turned towards Dixie. Something interesting must have transpired. And the one who knows it all is ‘The Battlefield’s Radio’ Dixie.
Dixie shrugged her shoulders.
“When I said ‘everyone,’ I meant my friends in Wayne. They all have fiancés or lovers.”
Still, Ines’ suspicion did not fade.
“What’s going on? Something must be up. Beth, tell me.”
Ines forcibly placed a pen in Beth’s hand. As Beth tried to let go and Ines insisted she hold it, the supply room door suddenly swung open.
“What are you all doing in here?”
The stern Molly’s arrival brought an end to all the commotion. Ines quickly reverted to her usual composed self, and Beth did the same. Only Dixie shook her head at them in exasperation.
“Dixie, is something wrong?”
“No, ma’am. I’m just at a loss for words at the duplicity of my colleagues.”
“Excuse me?”
The bewildered Molly looked over the three of them. When apart, they were all diligent and well-behaved young ladies, but when together, it seemed like nothing but chaos.
“Beth, I have to go to the market, so please prepare the dressings and medicines for the fourth floor in my stead. Ines, go to my room and call the supply department. And Dixie!”
Dixie flinched at the sharp tone.
“For heaven’s sake, don’t go around sharing all the gossip from Wayne with the soldiers today!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Colonel Gale is on the fourth floor.”
Molly’s last comment, tossed out like a gift, brightened Ines’ face.
Matching her friend’s excited steps, Beth ascended the stairs. From the usually quiet fourth floor, unfamiliar sounds of chatter echoed. The raucous laughter of men in the isolation room abruptly ceased when Ines opened the door.
Her face, which had been flushed with excitement, now reddened with barely suppressed anger.
“What on earth do you think you’re doing?”
Beth’s expression matched Ines’ as she entered the room behind her.
On the table, where they certainly hadn’t placed it, were two open bottles of vodka, and the large isolation room was filled with the thick smoke from three men’s cigars.
And there, in the middle, was Debert.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
Arthur quickly moved to open the window.
Beth’s gaze remained fixed on Debert. He seemed almost proud, even smirking, as he defiantly took a swig straight from the bottle.
Of the three men, it seemed only Gale felt he’d been caught red-handed.
“No, Ines. It’s not what it looks like.”
“It’s fine, Colonel.”
“No, really. The supply line was blown up, and I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in three months.”
“I’m sure.”
“But it’s been so long since I saw the General and Commander…”
Gale looked hopefully at Debert. Did he really think his superior officer would rescue him?
Beth’s hand, clutching the tray, had turned white.
If no one were here, she’d have thrown the bottles and cigars out of the window like she did yesterday. S
Seeing her restrain herself due to the presence of others, Debert bit his lip.
If he provoked her any further, she’d show up tonight with that sullen face again.
“Let’s go, Beth.”
Ines quickly took Beth’s hand.
She couldn’t afford to argue with her fiancé in front of the prince and the duke.
After glaring at Debert momentarily, Beth allowed her friend to pull her out of the isolation room.
As the two women, who seemed thoroughly enraged, left, Arthur teased,
“You’ll be a total mess once you get married.”
Gale chuckled sheepishly.
“I don’t mind. I like that Ines is so strict. I’ll get to see even more sides of her once we’re married.”
Debert set down the bottle he was holding. The childish behaviour had been just to see what kind of expression Beth would make. For something so foolish, the expression he got in return was rather satisfying.
“Yeah. You’ll see a lot more once you live together.”
It was the first time Debert had spoken during the conversation about marriage.
“It might even be fun.”
