Chapter 76
At the restaurant, Yugyeom never spoke to me beyond formal greetings.
Instead, our eyes kept meeting incessantly.
At first, I thought it was a coincidence, just a matter of timing.
But once, twice.
When our eyes met, he only avoided my gaze a few times. After that, he shamelessly, yet skillfully and leisurely, maintained eye contact until I looked away first.
“Could it be because of me?”
Just like right now.
It wasn’t as if we were touching or being held. Only our shoes were touching.
So why couldn’t I move?
“Miss.”
A soft voice flowed out from between his slightly parted lips.
There wasn’t a single thing out of place in his perfectly tailored suit. Yet, the relaxed and languid atmosphere remained the same.
“Are you okay? You don’t look well.”
Yugyeom’s gaze fell on my hand resting on my sternum.
Somehow, the atmosphere felt different from when we met yesterday. Now that I think about it, it had been that way since the restaurant.
He looked at me as if we were on good terms, but it felt so strange.
It made me feel uneasy and want to escape, like facing imminent danger.
Driven by an instinct that filled my head, I took a step back.
“Do you have something to say?”
Yugyeom stood still, staring intently at the spot where I was standing, as if measuring the distance between us.
A cold unease crept up from my toes under his gaze.
The secluded hallway was dark. And it felt as if only the two of us were left in this world.
‘I just don’t want Yugyeom to die.’
The words I uttered that night remained vivid in my heart.
The words I spoke out loud and etched into myself became clearer with each heartbeat.
‘I hope it’s just the longest nightmare.’
In an unbearable way, more and more.
If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have said anything. I would have kept it in my mind.
I should have only started what I could handle.
But it was already too late. The best thing to do now was to avoid getting soaked in that spilled water any further.
I would avoid it. It would remain just a nightmare, as I had wished that night. It had to.
‘I won’t let you die, nor will I die because of you.’
It seems to be the only way.
“If you don’t have anything to say, I’ll go. Someone’s waiting for me.”
I took another step back. His shadowed eyes followed my movement.
“Who?”
The question caught me off guard, something I hadn’t anticipated.
There wasn’t actually anyone waiting for me.
“Um… who that is…”
I racked my brain desperately.
“…Doshiyu!”
And then I was shocked by the answer that popped out of my mouth. Of all times, I remembered Doshiyiu pressing his lips to my cheek in front of Yugyeom yesterday.
Yugyeom seemed unfazed, but I was engulfed in the embarrassment of that moment once more.
“The person you said was your lover?”
Yugyeom suddenly asked, a faint smile playing on his lips.
“Huh?”
I was startled and responded reflexively.
“Um… yeah, something like that.”
And once again, I was alarmed by the words that came out of my mouth. I never thought I’d acknowledge it myself.
There was no way to take it back. Now, I just desperately wanted to get out of there.
“Liar.”
I momentarily doubted my ears, certain I must have heard wrong, I slowly moved my skewed gaze.
As our eyes met, a brilliant smile spread like ink across his pale face.
“You’re not waiting for anyone, are you?”
Yugyeom stepped forward. Before I could evade, he reached out to me.
The hand that had been clenched behind my back was pulled forward.
“Why do you keep lying?”
The pounding of my heart filled my ears. His burning gaze passed over me and fell to the floor.
Lowering his head, he grasped my hand and murmured as if sighing.
His cold grip enclosed my hand completely.
It felt as if his hand was gripping my heart, sending its rapid thudding echoing through my body.
“Even if I want to be fooled, I can’t help but know.”
The distorted smile no longer looked like a smile.
I stopped trying to understand the situation.
Worrying about how much he had figured out was meaningless. All I could do was hope with all my might.
That when the nightmare ended, I would forget everything.
That you only knew that much.
“I told you.”
I didn’t shake off his hand, nor did I hold it back. Yugyeom slowly raised his head.
Our eyes locked immediately.
“I won’t lie anymore.”
I lifted my lips into a dry, heated smile.
“Because I don’t want to get caught.”
The time to wake up from the dream had long passed.
* * *
I rang the bell, but there was no answer. Given the voice I heard on the phone, they wouldn’t have gone out. It was certain they were ignoring me, knowing it was me.
Bang, bang.
“Angel! You’re in there, right?”
Bang, bang.
“I know you’re in there! Open the door!”
I’ve never considered myself to be a particularly patient person.
I was about to kick the door if there was no answer this time, but fortunately, it opened before I could do so.
The door swung open with a speed that conveyed irritation.
Through the half-open door, I saw Angel. His eyes were full of wariness, and he hadn’t yet unlocked the chain lock. It felt like there was a distance between us, like I was a delivery person.
I gestured at the chain lock with my eyes. Unlock it. I urged him silently. After a moment of hesitation, Angel unlocked the chain.
I quickly extended my arm to grab the door. As Angel opened it wide, he was reluctantly pulled along.
“…What do you want?”
Angel asked, sounding resigned.
His voice was even rougher than it had been on the phone.
He brushed his feverish face with his hand, his bright blonde hair disheveled.
Yet, beneath that face, he wore a crisp white shirt that seemed too stiff to have been worn while lying in bed.
Was he too weak to change his clothes?
“Oh… you really must be sick.”
The words slipped out, sounding more dumbfounded than I intended. I felt a little guilty for showing up unannounced.
Angel leaned against the door, frowning.
This wasn’t the atmosphere I had imagined.
“I brought porridge!”
I presented the porridge I had brought. It was plain white porridge in a bowl.
Angel frowned even more and stared at the porridge as if he were glaring at it. His bright green eyes gradually lost interest.
I placed the bowl in his hands, almost forcing it upon him.
“I made this for you myself.”
I didn’t mention that it was my first time making porridge for his peace of mind. The thought of the mess I left in the kitchen immediately faded from my mind.
Angel reluctantly accepted the porridge with both hands. He looked at it as if he were seeing it for the first time.
Seeing that expression, I had a hunch that my homemade porridge would remain untouched.
His already youthful face looked even younger due to his illness. Leaving now felt like abandoning a child by the roadside.
I took the porridge back from his hands. Angel looked at his empty hands and then at me with an anxious expression.
“Then I’m coming in.”
I brazenly entered without waiting for his permission.
Angel, eyes wide, tried to stop me, but I was quicker than his staggering movements.
The room, smaller than mine, was very neat.
The tidiness was so perfect it looked as if no one lived there.
Seeing the perfectly made bed, I wondered what he had been doing in that state.
I placed the porridge on the table and approached Angel. The wariness in his eyes intensified.
“What are you doing…!”
As I reached out to touch his forehead, Angel flinched and pulled back. I wrapped my other arm around his neck to prevent him from escaping.
Angel stiffened, bowing his head as he was caught by me.
Regardless, I focused on the temperature I felt with my palm.
“You’re burning up.”
His bright green eyes trembled up close. His feverish face was flushed.
“Why did you suddenly get sick?”
The situation seemed reversed from yesterday. Checking his temperature, nagging him not to get sick.
I felt like I had taken on a professional role, and it wasn’t a bad feeling.
“The doctor shouldn’t be sick.”
I said softly, my eyes gently closing.
“…I’m not sick.”
Despite everything, Angel desperately denied it.
“Wow.”
I expressed my amazement.
“A doctor who doesn’t know his own condition. Can I trust you to take care of me?”
I playfully tapped his forehead with my fingertips.
As my fingers brushed his golden hair, I thought his pale face seemed even redder.
“….”
Angel, now with a hardened expression, pried my arm from his neck with some effort. He took two steps back.
“Go back.”
His voice sounded strained, as if he were squeezing out the last bit of his strength.
He covered his mouth with his hand, as if to hide his flushed face. His gaze oddly avoided mine.
Unfazed, I closed the gap he had created and tilted my head.
“You’re turning me away when I came because I was worried?”
