Chapter 30
The touch shaking him made Yugyeom’s eyelids sluggishly rise.
His pupils, unfocused like someone under the influence, rolled around.
“Are you okay?”
“…”
“Why are you sweating so much in your sleep…”
The deep, dark marks under his lethargically opened eyes were profound.
Rather than wearing the crumpled shirt with half-open buttons, it seemed more appropriate to say he was draped in it.
There was no will to hold onto the fuzzy mind, as if drugged.
In the room where not a single small light was on, the only illumination was the moonlight streaming in through the window.
“If you’re going to sleep, do it on the bed, not on the chair.”
Yugyeom sat up and reached for the desk full of documents.
Among the scattered papers on the desk tray lay crumpled cigarettes.
As Yugyeom sifted through the mess on the desk, his gaze turned to Ichang. Ichang looked annoyingly irritated.
“You said you quit.”
The cigarette received from Ichang found its place between Yugyeom’s long, slender fingers and soon made its way between his lips.
Leaning back against the backrest, Yugyeom took a deep drag on the cigarette.
As the thick smoke dispersed, a faint figure emerged.
– Bang! –
The boundary of reality collapsed with the gunshot and distorted surroundings.
Beyond the warped scenery, her face appeared vividly.
He knew it was just a hallucination that would vanish if he reached out.
But he couldn’t look away, and during his wakeful moments, he couldn’t help but be consumed by the suffocating memories.
“She was filthy.”
“That’s why I wanted to run away.”
It wasn’t that shocking. He had to think that way.
She was just one of those people. It felt like he might fall into an abyss at any moment if he entertained other thoughts.
Yugyeom took a trembling drag on the cigarette, sucking it in deeply until his cheeks hollowed.
“Is she dead?”
With an indifferent tone, he saw her collapsing before his eyes.
Slowly, with a hole in her chest. The sight was etched into his mind as if it were unreal, like a dream.
“It’s not easy to recognize. After Baekcheon ransacked us, we’re in chaos now. Those crazy bastards are everywhere.”
Baekcheon’s attack put Utopia on high alert.
Despite focusing on security with a large number of people going out, the entrance was easily breached, and thereafter, it was helpless.
It didn’t even take an hour from arriving on the rooftop to leave by helicopter, but the number of corpses left behind in silence was not insignificant.
“Why. Does it bother you?”
Yugyeom’s vacant gaze rolled in circles in the air.
“Anyway, it’s not like you fired the shot.”
He had vowed not to be trampled by anyone. He would repay two-fold, three-fold, or even more.
Just as he had lived, he aimed the gun at the heart this time too.
He never hesitated for a moment.
But why?
“Why?”
“…”
He couldn’t even lift a finger.
As he struggled like he was sinking in a swamp, a fear he couldn’t name choked him.
His hand holding the gun trembled. Hot tears mixed with labored breath flowed out.
In the end, he couldn’t pull the trigger.
With the sound of gunfire from somewhere, she collapsed before his eyes.
“Yugyeom! We have to stop Baek Ha-won!”
“Hey! That guy is escaping!! We have to catch him now!”
Until she disappeared before his eyes.
It felt like being a fish on a chopping board, too scared as if his throat were about to be cut.
“Shall we recognize her again?”
Yugyeom exhaled a thick puff of smoke through his lips. Flicking the cigarette into the ashtray, he reluctantly got up from his loose posture.
With unsteady steps that seemed about to collapse at any moment, his blurry gaze wandered around the room.
The white walls remained untouched as they were when Yeonbyeol opened them. The inside beyond the wall was visible at a glance.
The space, tightly enclosed, had always been like that for fifteen years, but now it seemed strangely cut off as if one side had been sliced off.
The only thing that changed was the monitor placed like a window was moved aside.
Caught again.
Yugyeom chuckled faintly as if in self-pity.
“No.”
He wouldn’t forget.
He didn’t know.
Whether he didn’t want to see her.
“No, no….”
Or if he desperately wanted to see her.
Trailing off, Yugyeom swept the hair that fell to his eyelids. Then, pushing the wall aside, he entered inside.
He stopped in front of the pristine white bed.
As if searching for remaining traces, he slowly pulled back the blanket with his fingertips.
“Chana.”
A faint smile hung precariously on his lips.
Ah.
As expected.
“We have to kill that woman.”
Was it the side he wanted to see?
—
“Oh, Ha-won, my beloved sky.”
Under the stained glass ceiling, the woman standing smiled brightly. Her eyes full of innocence sparkled like stars.
Her radiant face adorned with bright colors was dizzyingly beautiful.
“Surely you’re not jealous of your son, are you? How can you still love me so much?”
The light pouring from the stained glass followed her movements.
Her black hair fluttering in the wind, lovely gestures, and laughter spreading like blooming flowers.
Everything was vividly colored. He couldn’t look away.
“Ha-won, come here with Dad.”
So it was an inevitable dream. Unable to exist in the world anymore, but he could only watch what came next, knowing it was obvious.
Ha-won. Ha-won. Ha-won. Ha-won.
The rustling gradually turned into a strange laughter.
The stained glass was now only red, completely painting the woman.
“Ha-won.”
The woman staggering forward tripped him over. The woman who sat on top of him reached out with trembling hands.
His once white face was now flushed red. The pressure on his throat grew stronger. His breath reached its limit.
“It’s because of you, isn’t it?”
There was no innocence in her wide smile.
Perhaps it was his fate since the moment he set foot on this island. The love between her and her father made it so.
Her innocence died.
No, her innocence was murdered.
“Because you loved me…!”
Blinking, blinking. The focus in his vision blurred and returned repeatedly like a malfunctioning light.
“It’s because of my brother that I died!”
At that moment, a strange voice echoed like a scream.
—
Ha-won, leaning on the couch next to the bed, woke up from his dream, gasping for breath.
His eyes were red as he covered his throat with trembling hands.
With veins clearly visible on his white hands, it seemed like he was strangling himself.
As he got up, the book on his knees fell to the floor. Not noticing it, Ha-won reached out and grabbed the cup on the bedside table.
The cold water spilled over his hand. He raised it without caring, but the cup slipped from his trembling grip and shattered into pieces.
Ha-won clenched his empty fist tightly and breathed uneasily.
Then, as if by habit, he took out the gun from his jacket and held it tightly. His black hair covering his forehead was soaked with cold sweat.
It was an intermittent recurrence.
Originally, it came at long intervals as if reminding him when he tried to forget, but during Yeonbyeol’s unconsciousness for ten days, it happened constantly.
The dream that started with childhood memories always ended with strangling someone he would never see again.
And upon waking up, he would ponder deeply.
The love born from self-loathing, buried deep inside, that couldn’t be denied, the end of that love.
And himself, left behind.
“…Yeonbyeol.”
Ha-won’s bloodshot eyes turned to Yeonbyeol, who was sleeping like a doll on the bed.
His gaze lingered on her lifeless lips.
It was just yesterday that she was taken off the ventilator. Although the bullet narrowly missed her heart, her heart stopped once during surgery.
“You should have let me go.”
Ha-won reached out and gently grabbed Yeonbyeol’s hair.
And he kissed her hair, tightly wound around his fingers.
Her eyes, looking down at her, were on the verge of overflowing.
Why did he throw away the gun from his hand?
What was hidden in the brief eye contact they had?
Why?
“There’s no way the boss of Baekcheon would ride in a car without bulletproof glass.”
Why did she keep blocking his way?
Unable to understand the reason, he couldn’t shake off his thoughts about her.
“Don’t die.”
So she shouldn’t die.
“You must stay alive…”
His voice, expelled like a breath, dispersed into the air, and his black hair fell from his grip.
It was then, as his gaze sank deep into hers, that it happened endlessly.
“Hmm…”
His eyes, which had been wrapped like flowers that would never bloom in a lifetime, opened.
He felt as if time had stopped.
When their gazes met, Ha-won felt himself being sucked into her depths without resistance.
Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to escape.
“…Baek… Ha-won?”
A delicate voice flowed through parched lips.
Ha-won pressed his face against her chest, as if checking if her heart had stopped, and reached out to gently press his lips against hers.
The warm breath escaping from her slightly parted lips engulfed him.
The pale blue light of dawn tickled his fingertips. The unfamiliar sensation was dizzying.
Like a child mesmerized by a flame, Ha-won explored Yeonbyeol’s depths.
If this moment were a dream, he wished never to wake from it.
“Don’t leave my side.”
He whispered such a whimsical wish.
