Chapter 95
Nightmares were a great way to break through solid mental barriers and break down an opponent.
Having visions show his trauma over and over again was like beating meat over and over again to tenderize it.
-Valar.
So even though Valar was familiar with these nightmares.
-Are you still dreaming?
It was new every time.
If this were any other illusion, he would have ripped it apart and fled.
The succession of beings that made him throw his will to resist to the floor prevented him from creating any will to escape, even if he was aware that he was being toyed with.
Sione in the nightmare was beautiful.
Just like in his memories.
-My sweet sister.
With long, platinum lashes, pink eyes that seemed to hold the color of spring, delicate, delicate features, and lips that hung in a soft smile.
He wonders what she’ll look like when she grows up.
His sister, who always seemed so strong and big, was so tiny and frail compared to his hand, which had grown so much.
-Wake up, Valar, you have a lot to learn if you want to beat Halbern.
“Can’t you beat her at that?”
-He’ll never allow it.
He heard a faint laugh.
It was his sister, with her pretty face, her slender figure, and her bold words.
Valar burst out laughing, and then closed his mouth, as if he were going to cry.
“I knew it.”
He knew she’d show him his nightmares because she’s the only one who can break him down.
“Why am I happy instead of annoyed?”
For letting him see it?
Not the half-vision of a malfunctioning brain, but the full vision of a nightmare that wants to eat him alive?
But.
“What the hell has changed?”
Is this a dream, a fantasy, a nightmare, or reality?
Stuck in a past he couldn’t escape, whether he closed his eyes or opened them, Valar often couldn’t tell the difference.
Just like now.
“Don’t you hate me?”
-No, I don’t.
“Don’t you resent me?”
-How could I resent you?
“But.”
Without him, she would have been free.
Valar knew his sister well.
Even without Halbern’s name, Sione was a capable woman.
If she had succeeded in escaping, she would have done something with her life and made a good living.
He feels sorry for his mother, who is chained to his father, incapacitated and locked up, but she could have left him and run away. His mother wanted it, and his sister had a pulpit.
Even when the arranged marriage was decided, Sione was able to run away.
“It’s because of me.”
She couldn’t run away from her brother.
He knew all too well what would happen to her brother without her protection. She knows he will not give up on her… only commoner friends.
One child would hinder escape, two would be too much.
-It’s not your fault.
‘Yeah, you’d say that because you’re a sweetheart.’
-My poor, poor sister.
Even this would be a fantasy of his own making, and not one ounce of he would be in it.
And yet he loathes himself for feeling comforted.
The consolation of such a mouthful was as sweet as nectarine after a terrible thirst, and he was ashamed of himself for not being able to quench it.
-Valar.
-Live your life.
-Don’t let anything hold you back.
“But sister.”
“How can I not be tied down?”
That’s his sister.
He’d rather she curse him, he’d rather she hate him, resent him, dislike him.
“You always make me feel weak.”
The love she gave him was so big, so overwhelming… that he always felt helpless, like he was a child again.
Time passed, the child grew up, and now he could do anything.
He killed a father he thought he could never kill, a father who didn’t even seem human.
It wasn’t hard to kill a father who experimented on humans, oppressed them with his powers, and treated even his own children like tools, but his sister was untouchable, even if she was an illusion.
It’s an illusion that he can make disappear with a flick of his hand, with the use of his powers, if he so chooses.
He couldn’t.
He wanted to stay in this dream forever.
“Sister.”
He didn’t know if he was crazy, going crazy, or already crazy… He couldn’t tell anymore.
Oh, it would be interesting to see if he was truly insane.
There was no way to hide the misery he felt…
A despair that resembled despondency, a familiar frustration that tore him apart again. It was a moment so familiar it didn’t even hurt anymore.
“Sister…”
-…
“You should have taken me with you.”
-Would you?
The white hand that reached out as if it had been waiting for this moment burst into laughter.
He know it’s not his sister, and he know it’s an illusion to trick him into eating his bones,
He wants to catch it.
He wants to pretend to be crazy and give in to temptation.
It was a moment where he was swept away by the impulse.
Jiim-.
A faint melody echoed through the darkened space.
“This is…”
He never heard such a beautiful melody before in his life. The first time he felt the beautiful sounds of harmony.
The sweet music that washed away his nightmares and brought back happy memories, pulling him back to reality at once.
His blurry eyes came into focus.
“Ah.”
What was he going to do?
‘My life is not mine to take.’
‘You tried to kill me.’
“Your children will kill you, too, one day.”
A curse left by his biological father.
There is only one person in this world who can judge him.
“Dad!”
The name he’d never been called before rang deep in his heart.
A melody from afar chased away the darkness and blurred the delusion. The light is coming in.
Like salvation.
“I don’t dream about that anymore.”
The fantasy that someone would save him was just a childhood fantasy.
After losing his sister, he became an adult who didn’t want redemption.
Does that make him a savior?
Hell no.
It’s not his thing, and he’s not cut out for it.
But if that’s his daughter.
“Save her.”
Valar staggered to his feet.
The day he was first recognized as a father, it was overcast and not very nice.
***
“Listen.”
When Arellin made that request, Pession had no idea what was about to happen.
What was she going to do?
So.
Jiim-.
When the violin strings met the bow, the melody they created felt like a thunderbolt shock to the soul.
‘Beautiful.’
It was the first time he’d ever been so moved by something.
The feeling of something sparkling before his eyes.
Of course, it was Arellin who shone brightest.
Even with such a beautiful melody at his fingertips, Arellin had a pained, sad expression on her face.
A look that contrasted with the lovely melody that was so sweet it could melt his ears.
‘Why…’
Does she have such a pained expression?
Halbern knew the unwritten rule that, unlike the Imperial Family, there were too many secrets to pry into, too much to know too deeply, but Pession had no restraint when it came to Arellin.
He wanted to know.
He wants to swallow everything she thinks, what she likes, what she doesn’t like, from her head to her soul, bone to bone, every last bit of it.
These raw emotions are not pretty or pure at all, so he instinctively suppresses them.
He’s trying to restrain himself.
‘Arellin…’
This is often the moment of truth.
Even now, in this moment, he sees only her.
Arellin’s gaze was elsewhere.
