Chapter 6
The world stops.
A small girl, looking out of the window, is set like a painting in it.
Hair the color of platinum, like molten sunlight. And eyes of rose stone. The pale white face was a face he recognised.
Arellin, Princess of Halbern.
Arellin Sigria Halbern.
Once again, a fierce wind blew.
The child who had been looking out the window turned her head to look at Pession.
“Ah.”
At that moment, the frozen world began to move.
As the blank gaze came into focus and the pale face began to show a hint of life, Pession was overcome with an indescribable feeling.
“Huh?”
Arellin’s eyes widened at the sight of Pession.
“His Highness the Crown Prince?”
“Uh, huh?”
Pession stammered as his rose-pink, spring-like pupils took in his reflection.
“How did you get here…”
“Oh, I wanted to apologize!”
Pession smiled sheepishly, not quite able to say he’d snuck in.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes. As you can see.”
This was they second conversation, and it felt different than the first. Pession clenched his fists nervously, then shook his head.
What’s wrong with me?
“Hmph. I’m sorry. I mean, I asked you to run…”
The words came out and Pession regretted it. He wanted to apologize in a nicer way.
He don’t know why he suddenly feel like that, but that wasn’t cool at all. Not at all.
Still, he should apologize, it’s important to apologize.
“I didn’t really mean to make you fall down, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”
“You can, it’s okay.”
“Huh?”
“You don’t have to worry about it.”
“Huh?”
Pession shook his head at the bland answer.
As much as he appreciated the cool response, Pession felt like he shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t right…
“Well, can I forgive you so easily, you’ve been knocked out.”
“I can’t help it, I’m naturally weak. You didn’t do it out of malice, did you? I knew I was going to collapse anyway.”
“Well, that’s true, but…”
Arellin shook her head with an invisible smile.
“You snuck in, didn’t you, now go home.”
“Huh? Huh? Did I tell you?”
“Mehen wouldn’t have allowed it, so I figured you did. I’ll keep it a secret, so go home. I’m not recovered yet, and I need to rest.”
“Huh? Uh, yeah, you need to rest.”
Arellin bowed, her posture impeccable, and saw Pession off.
It was a friendly gesture, but it was also a “get lost” gesture.
…No, he won’t. He is a crown prince. He was welcomed everywhere. It couldn’t be.
‘Lady must be very ill.’
Arellin said as she left the room and made her way back. For some reason, Pession had a nagging feeling of regret.
“What is this feeling?”
***
Shortly after the pession disappeared.
“Everything okay?”
Mehen asked with uncanny timing.
“You were right to sneak in after all.
She expected that, but it felt weird to have Mehen arrive like a raiding party.
“Nope. Everything’s fine.”
“…”
Mehen’s penetrating eyes scanned her sharply.
As if trying to gauge whether she was lying or not.
She had no intention of defending the crown prince, but she didn’t want to be a nuisance.
“It’s true.”
She hold out her hands in disbelief, and Mehen’s expression softens, and then he gasps.
“…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you.”
Mehen’s mouth drops open, unsure of what to say. She knew what he was going to say, but she was surprised to see him flinch.
Why would he be nervous?
Wasn’t she just like a burden, a burden that the lord forced her to take care of?
Someone you can’t get rid of, don’t have anything to gain by caring about, but don’t care about either.
We’re not family, we don’t have any deep relationship.
Just guardian and ward.
Mehen has an obligation to look after her, but there’s no obligation to be nice about it.
Come to think of it.
“You’ve been seeing him a lot lately, haven’t you?”
Mehen had been coming to her room a lot lately, which was extremely rare.
Mehen had left her in the care of the childminders and only showed his face occasionally.
He looked at her with a strange look in his eyes when she made a point.
It wasn’t exactly a disappointment.
“Mehen is busy, I know.”
“That’s not…”
“I’ll be quiet.”
She locked eyes with Mehen, who paused.
“I’ll be quiet, like I’m not even there, so you don’t have to pay attention to me.”
Mehen’s expression hardened.
“It’s okay, I don’t care.”
“…”
“You’re busy. Go back to work.”
“…”
Mehen’s stiffened face turned fearful, and he opened his mouth to speak, barely chewing.
“Arellin. No, lady.”
“Huh?”
“…”
Mehen looks at her like he’s about to say something, but then closes his mouth.
Mehen’s grip on the corner of the chair her sitting in tightens as if he’s going to crush it, then loosens.
The intimidation that had been brewing like a storm dissipates in an instant.
And then the answer.
“If you wish, my lady, I will.”
It was impossible to read any emotion in Mehren’s face, which had been drained of all feeling.
“I apologize for the intrusion, please make yourself at home.”
Mehen bowed neatly and left. She finally relaxed and could breathe properly.
“…Why are you angry?”
She asked, surprised.
***
The crown prince’s visit, then what happened in Arellin’s room.
All of this has sent Mehen’s mood through the roof.
The atmosphere at Halbern Manor was unusually murderous, and everyone was wary of speaking out.
Eventually, someone had enough and spoke up.
“Sir Mehen, why are you so angry?”
Mehen’s aide, Dylan, stopped dead in his tracks.
“Angry?”
He thought he’d misheard.
“Am I?”
“Yes. You’re not angry?”
“…”
Am I angry now?
Because of what Arellin said?
Mehen’s face crumpled into a grimace. Finally, Mehen forced himself to put down the papers and wipe his forehead.
‘I’ll stay quiet and you don’t have to worry about me.’
It was the answer he wanted.
Surprisingly, it was the answer he had hoped for.
She had hoped that her difficult, difficult child would be behavioural enough not to bother her.
But hearing it in person felt, well, dirty. It felt so dirty.
It sounded like an unwarranted rebuke to myself. I mean, yes, I’ve been a bit of a dick lately, but what else is that supposed to mean?
Or is it just that I’m rubbish?
“Shit.”
He don’t know.
But.
He didn’t want to give her that look.
‘Lady, are you sure you’re okay with that?’
Mehen bit her lip.
Her mind was racing with the ever-present anguish.
Shouldn’t he be disqualified as a guardian, shouldn’t he find a better one? He had the best people in the world, but he always felt like he wasn’t good enough.
But I don’t know where to turn for advice. Where do you go for advice when you’re surrounded by hyenas who would relish the scandal of Halbern?
And her real father hasn’t shown his face since he left her in her care.
“What about the northern castles? Any news?”
“They say it’s still in heavy fighting. They say they won’t be able to reach us for a fortnight.”
“The damned battle.”
“Things are fierce on the front.”
Fierce and nasty, and the neighbourhood is always fighting, with men dying, and he not impressed anymore.
“Did you ever get an answer to my letter?”
No to Mehen’s request to find another guardian, which he’s been sending for years now.
To the question of when he would return from the northern castle, “I’m working on it.”
For the rest, “I can’t be bothered to explain in writing, I’ll tell you when I get there.”
And to Arellin’s newest health concern, ‘Deal with it.’
“This man?”
It was one of Mehen’s tenets that his ordinary white-collar physical strength prevented him from directly entering the northern castle and grabbing a slap.
“Ha. A young lady needs a family…”
Is it so hard to come and show your face?
Mehen was pressing his temples hard against a throbbing headache. Dylan, who had been watching her, thought about it and said.
“I think you might be overthinking this, Mehen.”
“I am?”
Mehen was stunned.
“Wouldn’t Arellin feel more at home with Mehen, whom she’s seen every day since she was a child, than with Archduke Halbern, whom she’s never met?”
“Like … or something?”
Mehen’s expression turned peculiar.
It became a look of disbelief.
“You’re being serious.”
Mehen was just a ‘protector’, a vassal who knew his subject very well.
Arellin is the lord’s child. The line must not be crossed. But Dylan didn’t seem to think so.
“No matter how attached they are, to Lady Arellin, the Nurserymen are still just ‘people who look after her at Sir Mehen’s behest’. It’s almost as if they’re a substitute for Mehen.”
“That can’t be true. The Nurturing Corps is…”
“Think about it, Mehen, it’s not jewellery or crowns that a child of her age wants.”
Dylan said soothingly.
“All he wants is the loving warmth of his guardian.”
“…”
“I’m just saying, it might be nice just to have a parent around.”
Sage advice indeed.
Mehen’s eyes sank even deeper into the darkness.
***
“Graham.”
‘Here we go again.’
Graham, the crown prince’s chief chamberlain, had been furiously resigning lately.
For one reason only.
“Graham.”
“…”
“Graham?”
“…”
“Graham!”
“Yes, Your Highness, I’m listening. Please speak.”
Actually, he wasn’t listening at all.
Listening in one ear and out the other, Graham stood still and thought back to the day this journey had begun.
From that day on.
It was certain. The day he went to the Duke of Halbern’s residence. That was the day the Prince of Pession became strange.
“You know, Graham.”
Pession gave him an odd look as he described his meeting with Princess Arellin, a story he heard a hundred times already.
“What was that?”
“…”
“I’ve never seen anything like that.”
Pession looked pensive, as if he had just encountered the biggest challenge of his seven-year-old life.
Graham looked away, exhilarated. If he looked any longer, he looked like he was going to say something.
“And then she said to me, ‘You don’t have to worry about it,’ and I said, ‘Well, I’m sure you don’t mind,’ and then she fell down because of me, but shouldn’t I do something about it?”
“She’s already apologized formally, and brought me a bunch of gifts from the imperial court…”
“Graham. I’m the crown prince, I’m supposed to set an example for everyone.”
“I’m sure you do …”
“Isn’t that right?”
“…Well, yes.”
He have the answer, he just have to say it!
Graham nervously agreed. Pession nodded, looking very pleased.
“And before I went back, the princess said hello to me, which was kind of significant, I suppose. What did she mean?”
What could it have meant?
“What does Graham think?”
He have no idea.
“Hmphhh.”
The crown prince was so engrossed in his studies that his teacher might have yelled at him for looking at it that way.
From that day on, the crown prince was like that all day.
‘What the hell happened?’
Don’t be curious.
He should have just done what his master told him to do, but he couldn’t stand it.
Whether he knew it or not, Pession stared out the window with his jaw set.
As he stared out the window, he couldn’t help but think of Arellin’s crumbling side, staring out with a vacant gaze.
‘What had she been looking at that day?’
“Graham, what is she doing now?”
