LONG CHAPTER AHEAD

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01. Painlessness

‘…Hot?’

A sudden thought flashed through Yoon’s mind, and she opened her eyes. Did I just think something was hot?

Yoon froze in place as if turned to stone. Her dark eyelashes quivered like the fluttering wings of a butterfly.

Sensing something strange, she slowly parted her lips. The moment their lips separated, a faint, tantalizing sound echoed between them.

“…What’s wrong?”

Yoon blankly lowered her gaze to look at him. Heat still lingered around his eyes.

Her hand slowly reached up to his cheek. Lowering her head, she pressed her forehead against his. Her eyelids trembled, and her heartbeat gradually quickened.

“…It was hot.”

Yoon murmured as if the words had slipped out of her mouth. It was undeniably hot.

“What do you mean?”

His lips parted in surprise, as if he didn’t understand the problem.

“…Hot?”

He repeated in disbelief. Yoon absentmindedly touched her lips. The unfamiliar sensation, the sudden warmth she had felt for the first time, left her utterly confused.

“…If I knew this would happen, I would’ve just grabbed anyone and kissed them instead of going through all that treatment.”

It had been eight years since she lost her sense of pain. No matter what treatments she underwent, her body never recovered. But the moment she touched him, heat surged through her.

She knew she wasn’t normal. Yet, in the underworld, being unable to feel pain was a great advantage.

No matter what wounds she suffered, she felt nothing. Because she couldn’t feel anything, she had no fear. That fearlessness had driven her hands without hesitation, propelling her to where she stood today.

But she was always empty.

No heat, no cold, no pain, no warmth—she could feel nothing.

She was just like a dead person.

Her world, where nothing could be felt, was unstable and lonely. She could touch but not feel, be close but never warm. Among people filled with color, she alone existed in black and white.

She feared that if she continued living without feeling anything, one day she might lose all sense of emotion altogether. That she might stop feeling alive.

That was why she chased after danger and excitement, caring little whether her body was hurt or not. Because at least in those moments, she could feel alive.

But now, she had found the very hope she had longed for.

Yoon reached out, cupping his cheek, her fingers tracing the shape of his lips.

From their kiss just moments ago, his lips were still damp, slightly swollen. His dark eyes wavered in a way that felt almost mesmerizing.

The lingering sensation of their kiss remained. A feeling she had never known, a warmth she had never understood.

It was all unfamiliar—but one thing was certain. She had felt something.

Her fingertips trembled so faintly that even he wouldn’t notice.

Just the realization that her body had felt something made her heart swell.

If she hadn’t kissed him, she might have never known this sensation for the rest of her life.

Yoon’s gaze landed on his slightly parted lips. From beneath her lowered eyelids, her eyes gleamed with an intoxicating light.

Her dark pupils flickered sharply, like a predator locking onto its prey.

“…I think you’re in trouble.”

She whispered lowly, the distance between them so close that their lips could touch again at any moment.

Not every emotion needed to be spoken aloud.

“…Because I think I’ve developed a taste for this.”

A single smile was enough.

* * *

Faint cigarette smoke curled into the dark night sky.

Leaning lazily against the wall, Yoon watched the burning cigarette disintegrate with an air of boredom. The moment her subordinate signaled that everything was over, she crushed the cigarette underfoot without hesitation.

Scattered cigarette butts littered the cold cement floor. Her gaze, sharp and unfeeling, landed on the corpse before her.

The lifeless eyes, rolled back from a drug-induced haze, reminded her of someone.

Yoon’s brows furrowed slightly. Without a word, she gave her subordinate a brief nod before stepping into the car.

It had been three years since she had taken over this district.

Had she known that the old man who took her in was the so-called ruler of the underworld, she would have never followed him.

No—if she were being honest, she had suspected it.

A regular middle-aged man wouldn’t walk around with a squad of men in black suits trailing behind him.

But the moment she touched the gun in his hand, her life had taken a sharp, irreversible turn.

She hadn’t belonged to this world from the start.

All she had wanted was to kill the one she despised the most—and then end her own life along with them.

Yoon’s clouded eyes stared blankly out the window. As rows of houses blurred past, she let her eyelids close.

Even now, it felt as if the flames that had once consumed everything were still burning, ready to swallow the world whole.

* * *

Crash—!

The sharp sound of shattering glass echoed through the air as jagged shards flew past young Yoon’s cheek. A thin red line streaked across her pale skin.

Today was worse than usual.

The blows were harder, the violence more relentless.

Curled up on the floor, Yoon didn’t even think about getting up. Her bruised body ached, throbbing with pain.

‘I want to see Noah.’

Clutching her aching body, she thought of him—the only one who had ever held her, the only one who had ever cared.

Just a little longer, if I just endure a little more… Noah will come and—

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt.

The focus in her trembling black eyes vanished.

…Noah is gone now.

Her arms, which had been wrapped tightly around herself, slowly loosened.

There was no one left to hold her now.

Her unfocused gaze lifted toward the man before her.

“…Because of you.”

Yoon murmured blankly.

She couldn’t remember why Noah had disappeared, where he had gone.

Her empty mind recalled nothing.

Nothing—except one thing.

That man was responsible for it all.

“What the hell are you mumbling about, you crazy bitch—?!”

At that moment, a chair came hurtling toward her.

Thud—!

Before she could even scream, a violent impact struck her head.

Darkness swallowed her vision.

Just before she lost consciousness, one last thought crossed her mind.

I want to die like this.

But life never went the way she wanted.

By the time the sunlight streaming through the window had disappeared, replaced by the pitch-black darkness seeping into the room, Yoon’s delicate eyelashes quivered. Slowly, her dark eyes fluttered open.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A strange, almost unnatural sensation took hold of her body.

Yoon ran her fingers slowly across her wounded cheek.

She should have felt a sharp sting—but there was nothing.

Lowering her gaze, she stared blankly at her ankle, bruised in shades of deep violet.

It should have been throbbing, aching—but it felt perfectly fine.

As if she had lost all sensation, her body felt…nothing.

Her empty, unfocused black eyes landed on the man.

Perhaps he had exhausted himself breaking things in his usual fit of rage—he lay sprawled out on the floor, snoring, completely unconscious.

Not moving a single finger.

Yoon’s vacant eyes shifted between her own body and the man before her.

A body that felt no pain.

A man who lay there, oblivious, unaware.

“…Ha…hahaha…”

A soft, breathy laugh spilled from her lips.

The very pain she had desperately wanted to escape… had disappeared in a way she never expected.

Exhale.

She buried her face in her hands for a moment before lifting her head.

A chilling, eerie light flickered in her dark eyes.

A whisper—one she had buried deep within her chest—curled around her ears like a shadow.

Now.
Now is the time.
If you kill him, it all ends.

Yoon’s mind raced faster than ever.

Losing her sense of pain—it might only be temporary.

It has to be today.

She couldn’t endure this wretched life any longer.

Her gaze darted around the room until it landed on the sharpest shard of glass.

She picked it up, gripping it tightly.

Will one strike be enough?

“…I’ll find out.”

The sharp edge of the glass shard bit into Yoon’s pale skin, leaving a thin trail of crimson in its wake—but she didn’t care.

Without hesitation, she aimed for the man’s throat, ready to drive the glass deep into his flesh.

Bang—!!

A deafening crash erupted through the air, followed by the steady echo of approaching footsteps.

Yoon slowly lifted her head, her brows gradually furrowing.

Why are they interrupting?

This might be my last chance. I don’t know when I’ll get another opportunity to kill him…!

Her dark eyes churned with raw, seething emotion.

Throwing the door open, she stormed down the stairs, her steps heavy with frustration.

But the moment she locked eyes with the intruder, her pupils dilated.

Cold. Unyielding. A tool capable of stealing lives in an instant.

A gun.

The middle-aged man standing before her held a gun in his hand.

Yoon’s gaze flickered between the weapon in his grip and the useless shard of glass in hers.

Ah, right.

There was always the gun.

With a soft clatter, the glass shard slipped from her pale fingers and hit the ground.

The blood-stained shard glistened under the dim light.

Her black eyes locked onto the gun, unwavering, fixated.

The man let out a quiet chuckle, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Well, are you done admiring it?”

“……”

A deep, amused voice echoed through the space, drawing Yoon’s cold, dark gaze toward its source.

She wasn’t sure when it had started, but the man before her had already fixed his eyes on her as well.

How old was she then—fourteen?

Too tall to be called a child, too small to be called a woman.

Beneath the brim of his black fedora, a glint of intrigue flickered in his eyes.

“So, what do you think after seeing this gun?”

“…That I could kill him for sure.”

It was a chilling response—far too brutal to come from a girl her age.

The middle-aged man’s lips curled into an odd smile as he extended the gun toward her.

Yoon’s fingers twitched slightly, trembling.

“You were staring at it because you wanted it, weren’t you?”

“…You’re really giving this to me?”

There was no such thing as kindness without a price.

Even as suspicion darkened her gaze, the man remained relaxed, his smile unwavering.

“Child, why do you think I came here?”

Yoon glanced between the gun in his hand, the rows of men in black suits standing behind him, and the open door of her house.

A dull ache throbbed at the back of her mind, as if she was on the verge of recalling something important.

She frowned briefly, pushing the thought aside. Instead, she forced her mind to focus.

Her so-called father—someone she didn’t even want to call by that title—had always found money from somewhere to buy his drugs.

But lately, he hadn’t.

That meant he had run out of money completely.

Which could only mean—

“…You’re here to kill him.”

It was waste disposal.

There was nothing left to drain from him, so they had come to get rid of him.

An odd sense of déjà vu crept up her spine, but she dismissed it with a slight furrow of her brow.

On Fifth Street, scenes like this were common.

Nothing about it was surprising.

It was simply her turn.

“You catch on quickly.”

The man reached out, patting her head as if in praise.

Yoon instinctively recoiled, swatting his hand away with a scowl.

The middle-aged man—Canux—chuckled quietly and withdrew his hand.

“If he’s your prey, I won’t touch him.”

Canux’s eyes gleamed with intrigue. Patricide.

A faint smile curled at the corners of his lips.

It wasn’t common, but it wasn’t exactly unheard of in the lower districts.

Fifth Street—where no crime was too shocking. A place where murder, drugs, and gambling were part of daily life.

Here, killing was like a drug.

No one could stain their hands with blood and remain whole.

In this world, wanting to hold onto sanity was a foolish dream.

This was the underworld—a place where the insane were the only ones who could be called normal.

He wondered—how would this girl change?

It had been a while since he’d come across something this entertaining.

“Well? Will you handle it yourself?”

Yoon lowered her gaze, silently reaching for the gun in Canux’s hand.

With this, she could kill him.

She could finally put an end to the man who had made every day of her life a nightmare.

Her dark, emotionless eyes flickered with a faint, murderous glint.

There was no hesitation.

She was too exhausted for sentimentality.

And the man before her—she hated him too much for doubts.

Let people call it a crime, a betrayal, a sin—what did it matter?

Not one of them had ever endured her pain in her place.

“How many shots do I get?”

Yoon’s black pupils, unwavering, met Canux’s gaze.

He studied her for a moment before answering in a low voice.

“One.”

Just one.

Yoon slowly ran her fingers along the gun’s surface.

The cold, solid weight of it settled against her palm as if it had always belonged there.

A strange tremor ran through her chest.

Was it because she was about to fulfill her long-held desire?

Or was it simply because she was holding a gun?

Canux, adjusting the brim of his fedora with a leisurely touch, spoke again.

“Do you know how to use it?”

Yoon shook her head, her eyes scanning over the gun.

“No.”

Just as Canux reached out—expecting this answer—Yoon’s slow, deliberate voice cut through the air.

“But.”

A strange light flickered in her dark eyes.

“I feel like I can.”

As if possessed, Yoon loaded the gun.

Click. Clack.

“Is this right?”

For a moment, Canux was speechless.

Her movements were slow, but precise.

Every now and then, there were those rare individuals—ones who shone with an eerie brilliance, even in the pitch-black darkness.

And more often than not, those people were inevitably drawn to the underworld, slipping into its shadows with unnatural ease.

Canux knew someone like that.

He had been one himself.

And now, the small girl standing before him was undoubtedly the same.

A grin stretched across Canux’s face.

“Ha… Hahahaha! Interesting. Very interesting. Yes, that’s exactly right.”

For the first time in a long while, Canux was genuinely entertained.

With a voice almost gentle, he nudged her forward.

“Go on. Kill your father and bring me that gun.”

His whisper was demonic.

But Yoon didn’t care.

At least for now, the devil—who granted her wish in his own cruel way—was far better than the wretched angels who never answered her prayers.

Without hesitation, Yoon ascended the stairs.

As Canux’s laughter faded, one of his subordinates stepped forward cautiously.

“Are you sure about this, sir? Leaving it to a child like that? What if she takes her father and runs?”

At the man’s concern, Canux let out a short chuckle.

“It doesn’t matter. If they run, I’ll just hunt them down and kill them.”

But that wouldn’t happen.

A smirk played at his lips as he murmured, amused.

“That child’s eyes were filled with murderous intent toward her father. There’s no doubt—she will kill him with her own hands. And then…”

She will try to take her own life.

Canux swallowed the last part of his thought, a subtle smile playing at his lips as he watched the door she had disappeared through.

One shot.

That had been a lie.

So why had he lied?

Who knew.

Maybe it was because he liked the look in her pitch-black eyes—eyes that held not a single ounce of attachment to this world.

“Perhaps I’ve found something amusing after all.”

Canux traced his fingers along his lips, a satisfied chuckle escaping him.

Tick. Tick.

The wristwatch on his arm continued its steady rhythm.

Someone’s fate was about to be decided.

* * *

The man died without even a moment to resist.

Yoon stared down at his lifeless body, her expression unreadable.

A clean kill. Not a single movement.

It was strange how effortlessly she had pulled the trigger.

She hadn’t even blinked.

She simply watched, as if in slow motion, as the man crumpled to the ground.

Her dark eyes bore into his corpse, as if engraving the image of his death into her very corneas.

The blood pooled, spreading outward, until it reached her feet—staining them crimson.

 

 

 

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