12. I Want To Be Loved.
His interpersonal relationships were simple and clear.
If they were enemies, he would kill them, and if they were allies, he would spare them.
If it was convenient, he would keep them by his side, and if it was inconvenient, he would throw them out.
However, this maid was an ally who could become an enemy at any time, and it was inconvenient and annoying to keep her by his side.
It had become a higher-level problem that went beyond the level of just killing or sparing her.
“What should I do with you?”
“Please spare me!”
Yes, he should spare her. She didn’t blatantly betray him. She also didn’t commit a mortal sin.
He thought about killing her in advance as a preventive measure, but her purpose was urgent. And she was a civilian, not a soldier. He couldn’t decide on her disposal as easily as he could on the battlefield.
There was only one reason for his worries.
The problem was that there was no safe or certain way to tie up that maid now.
There was a limit to the forced loyalty that she showed because she was afraid of losing her life. He had also threatened to kill her once or twice. It was still effective, but there was a high probability that she would soon collapse.
They say that nothing is more precious than life, but surprisingly, people easily give up their own lives.
‘Hmm?’
At that moment, a question occurred to Rakalt.
One of the things that people value as much as their lives is their place of living. That’s why they can’t easily escape from conflict zones and live in war.
However, Adelen was shaken by a stranger’s persuasion to come over to Morn in such a short time.
“How did you plan to live if you came over to Morn?”
“Yes?”
Adelen, who was looking at the baby that was dimly blinking as his sleepiness returned, raised her head.
“You said you weren’t a foreigner. So do you have any connections there?”
“What? No? I’ve never seen a foreigner.”
“Then how did you plan to live if you left your house, property, family, and everything in Teplan and crossed over alone?”
“Uh…I don’t have anything in Teplan, though?”
Adlen scratched her cheek bashfully and said.
It was embarrassing because I really had nothing. No house, no property, no family, and even no friends because I focused only on work.
“…Nothing?”
Rakalt asked, furrowing his brows in disbelief.
“Yes. I was abandoned in a war zone or somewhere right after I was born, and someone picked me up and left me at an orphanage. So I have no parents or family…That’s it.”
“…”
“It hasn’t even been a few years since I left the orphanage and started working, so I don’t have a home of my own, and I have barely saved up any property.”
It was a little embarrassing to say that I was penniless, but it was a little better because it was my master I was talking to.
In my master’s eyes, a penniless maid, a homeless person on the street, or a rich commoner who had a house of their own would all look the same.
“How about the people at the orphanage?”
“They’re all busy trying to survive.”
The first thing that came to my mind was the orphanage teachers who had tried to discourage me from becoming independent in order to use me for free.
They said that a naive child like me would be ripped off without even seeing money. In reality, it was the teachers who ripped me off.
My friends at the orphanage, my older sisters, my older brothers, and younger siblings weren’t much different.
Maybe it was because the teachers who had raised them were so strict and implicated the kids, but they all grew up the same.
As soon as Adelen got a job as a maid, they came to me asking to borrow money. I refused them all, so all contact with them stopped.
Of course, there were other children who weren’t like that. Some were as kind as angels, and some were like her real siblings.
But it was strange. Those children always passed away early.
So no one was left by Adelen’s side in the end.
“She has nothing in Teplan. Then what should I do?”
If she had family or close friends, he would try to persuade them and use them against her somehow.
But Adelen’s life was like a ball made of glass, there was no place to hold on to.
“I told you that I really won’t waver anymore…”
Adalen was at a loss at Rakalt’s monologue. That must be the aftermath of what happened before.
I was terrified of the blade in front of me, so I wavered for a moment, but the aftermath was too much.
From now on, because I would be afraid of the aftermath of my doings, I was somehow confident that I wouldn’t waver until the blade was as far as a fingernail from my throat. Of course, I wouldn’t hold on if it was more than that.
“Hmm…”
However, it wasn’t easy to raise the trust that had already fallen to the ground.
Adelen struggled to give herself a way out of the doubtful gaze of Rakalt..
“That’s why…If I have a family, won’t I be unable to think about leaving?”
She couldn’t be sure because she hadn’t experienced it before.
“Family.”
Rakalt’s forehead wrinkled even deeper.
It seemed that Adelen’s suggestion didn’t really hit home.
“There are many people in the world who are blinded by their own gain and abandon their families and friends.”
“What, that’s their business! My lifelong dream is to meet a handsome man, have kind, obedient children and build a happy family, so I don’t think that’ll happen… I don’t… think so… maybe.”
Adelen lost her confidence at the master’s suspicious gaze.
“Actually, that’s why I didn’t want to be the baby’s nanny…”
“Why is that?”
“It’s common for a nanny to stick to the baby for life. Where would I find a man who would accept a maid with a child?”
Sadly, there were few men who would welcome a woman who had to focus on her small master rather than her own family.
Adelen didn’t think she was lucky enough to meet such a man.
“…A man.”
Rakalt muttered, touching his chin.
Hearing that, Adelen also realized what she wanted.
It was a man.
If a man clung to her and told her not to go somewhere else, she would do it even if a knife was a fingertip away from her neck.
“Yes, a man.”
I haven’t saved any money for marriage or a living foundation, so I haven’t thought about meeting a man yet.
I thought that I should at least save up enough money to buy a house and some furniture before I found a man to marry.
If someone had appeared before that, I would have grabbed them of course, but unfortunately, she hasn’t seen anyone like that yet.
“That’s actually easy.”
Rakalt grinned as if he had found the solution.
“Then I’ll find you a husband.”
“…What?”
Adelen stared at Rakalt with blank eyes.
The head of the household will personally arrange a match for a maid?
“If it’s a blind date made with Sigelion’s influence, it will definitely work out and if it doesn’t, I’ll kidnap him, hunt him, or do whatever it takes to get him here.”
Rakalt was serious.
And the offer was quite tempting.
Adelen swallowed hard.
The master’s method wasn’t to her taste, but if Sigelion’s influence was used as he said, anyone would probably reconsider. But Adelen, who had briefly perked up her ears, soon shook her head and slumped her shoulders.
“No, I’m sorry, Master.”
“Why?”
“Will the man you caught this way love me?”
If her only goal was to start a family, then all she had to do was to find someone who meets the conditions.
Many people in the world get married that way.
There’s a saying that marriage isn’t about being with someone you love, but being with someone who meets the conditions you want. It’s not a dream, it’s reality, so that’s how it should be.
But Adelen wanted to dream.
She wanted a real family that loved and cherished each other.
If she couldn’t get that, then all of this was meaningless.
“…Love?”
Rakalt pondered the word heavily.
Today, he heard a word he had never heard or thought about in his entire life, ever.
He had never seen, done, or felt it, and despite that he wasn’t even curious about it.
But it seemed to be something Adelen really longed for.
“Yes, love. What I want is not a political marriage with conditions, but a marriage where we promise to spend our lives together because we love each other.”
“…”
Rakalt looked at Adelen silently.
His eyes hid many words.
Why are there such complicated conditions? How dare you refuse the matchmaking offer that your master has made? How arrogant. Where would your great love be? Let me see it. Ha. If even a man won’t do, what else should I offer?
If this goes on a little further, it’ll be annoying, but I’ll figure it out somehow. Otherwise, let’s just kill her.
This is the last one of sponsored chapters. Again thank you Ami for the donation and I hope you liked the chapters. Enjoy the rest of your day, dear readers ~
