The Little Sister in the Devastating Novel Wants to Live

Episode 20

The princess held gatherings twice a week without fail, and I attended without fail as well.

It’s only natural since it’s a gathering hosted by the princess, even though others might not understand.

I was afraid that I would see the prince every time the gathering took place, or that I would hear some probing questions from him, but thankfully, after the first day, I didn’t see him separately.

Still, what was this subtle feeling, like carrying a time bomb?

I don’t know what I was imagining, but the princess occasionally sent meaningful glances my way.

Unis seemed to want to get closer to me more than necessary.

Other than that, everything else was ordinary.

The gatherings were supposed to be book clubs, but most of the time, they turned into passionate discussions about the trends in the capital.

In the midst of it all, I was like an audience member.

They chattered about things like silk dresses, delicate lace gloves, trends, and paintings, all while maintaining their elegance and dignity according to their standards.

Every time they did, I could only smile quietly and never dared to intervene.

I couldn’t relate when they talked about the painter who had drawn portraits for them since they were babies.

I had no childhood stories to sympathize with their stories.

Their tales of having a family box at the theater and how they got scolded when they were very young for crawling under the chairs seemed distant to me.

So whenever they talked about these things, I felt it.

I can never become an aristocrat.

Listening to the maids’ conversations about changing curtains with the seasons, I thought about the lives of the lower-class people who made clothes from faded ones under the sun.

To them, being uncultured was just someone who made noise louder than usual, but to me, being uncultured meant the difference between being a nuisance on the street and defecating in public.

Their idea of humanity was leaving a couple of handkerchiefs behind during a trip, but my idea of humanity was going for ten days without taking a shower and letting my hair form its own wax effect.

They couldn’t even imagine a situation where those young ladies who raise their voices a little would ever imagine lowering their pants on the street.

The difference between those who know and those who don’t is significant.

Not being able to intervene in conversations like this, not having the luxury of thinking differently in the middle of conversations, is also something you can enjoy at the same time.

I quietly smiled and sipped my tea.

‘This tea tastes good.’

Thinking so, I cast my gaze up at the sky.

The sky, with its floating clouds, was as splendid as the scent of the tea.

While I sipped my tea, the other ladies took turns discussing everything that was trending in the capital.

Some of them even talked about quite lucrative investments.

I listened to some and ignored others, repeating the pattern.

It wasn’t difficult.

* * *

“Wanna take a look at the library? It seems like you’re the only lady who hasn’t been guided there during the gathering,” the princess said as everyone began to disperse after the meeting.

Instinctively, I could tell.

This would be the prince’s next appointment.

“If you permit me, I would be honored,” I replied.

“Don’t be too formal. It’s not like we’re going to the armory,” she joked, and I smiled in response, but I felt no enthusiasm.

The situation couldn’t help but be stiff.

Thinking of the prince made my head ache.

What a difficult person.

“I wonder how many libraries the Duke has? I’ve never been, so I’m not sure,” she mused.

I tried to recall the Duke’s library in my mind.

Three places, no, maybe four now that they said they were separating important libraries from the rest.

While I didn’t dislike reading books, nor was I disinterested in the Duke, I couldn’t remember properly.

Books in this world were so expensive and important that they often had to be moved or consolidated without much explanation.

Aside from ordinary books, they also stored things like the family’s history or the ancestors’ diaries.

When I was young, I was quite good at finding hiding places to avoid harassment, but as I grew older, there was no need for that.

More than anything, I was busy in my own way, so I didn’t have time to visit the library.

“It must be quite a sizable place, even if I don’t know,” she continued when I didn’t respond, gesturing vaguely.

I nodded without saying anything.

I had nothing else to say.

“There are two places in the palace where outsiders can enter, and I’ll guide you to the closest one. You’ll need a pass, so I’ll get you a name tag,” she explained when there was no response from me.

“Thank you for your consideration,” I replied politely.

“You keep putting up walls even though you say you want to get closer,” she laughed at my formalities.

The princess smiled apologetically.

It was fortunate that she wasn’t serious.

From above my head, I heard a murmuring sound, as if she were gauging something.

“Could it be that you’re causing trouble for the lord?”

At the princess’s casual remark, I unconsciously turned my head and glanced around, although the other ladies had already left and there was no one nearby.

“But still, I don’t think he would go to such lengths…”

I muttered to myself, feeling nervous that someone might overhear, but inwardly, I shouted, “Your brother would do just that.”

Without realizing it, I tensed my shoulders with the tension.

The princess lightly tapped my shoulder and sent me a gentle smile.

“If you have any troubles, it would be good to tell me. You know that, right?”

Her voice was much softer than before, as if she had noticed my concern.

Glancing around, I nodded slightly.

“Yeah, well. It’s also the lady’s choice. I’ll respect it.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

In response to my greeting, the princess playfully wrinkled her nose.

It would be perfect if I could explain to the princess and she could help improve the situation, but speaking out might only make things more difficult for her.

Or perhaps the princess was simply curious about the strange dominance between me and the prince, without any serious thoughts behind it.

Although I didn’t take the princess’s offer to guide me to the library seriously, she actually took me all the way to the entrance and even handed me an entry pass.

It felt strange to see her subtly paying attention to me.

“Enjoy your visit.”

Matching her polite farewell, I also politely bowed.

“Until we meet again, stay well.”

Despite receiving a gentle reminder, a somewhat awkward farewell slipped out again.

It wasn’t intentional.

The princess looked at me with a bittersweet expression, as if jokingly.

I responded with a small smile.

After parting ways with the princess, I entered the library and wandered between the shelves.

The feeling of being surrounded by books after a long time was ecstatic.

The scent was comforting.

With no one else around, even if it weren’t for the circumstances, I would have forgotten about being in the palace and explored more leisurely.

Choosing a few books with interesting titles, I walked deeper into the library.

At the far end of the royal library, between the wall and the bookshelves, something seemed to draw me in.

I entered the shelf in front of it.

I didn’t want to stand facing the prince alone in that narrow space between the wall and the bookshelf.

Under the afternoon sun filtering through the window, the light, airy curtains cast a faint, futile shadow.

The handsome man standing below exuded a dangerously provocative aura even when seen through the gap in the bookshelves.

Whether it was Igon or the prince.

Looking at their appearances that seemed utterly unreal, I couldn’t help but be reminded that this place felt like it belonged in a novel.

“I greet the Little Sun of the Empire…”

“Do you like books?”

Just like last time and this time, whenever I tried to greet him, he would cut me off.

Because he was the prince.

Well, I decided to let it slide.

“…I don’t dislike them.”

“That’s a vague answer.”

I empathized with the prince’s words.

Although it was an answer that didn’t really mean anything, it felt like the right one to me.

Reading would be enjoyable, but in my current situation where I didn’t have the luxury of time, reading was a luxury.

Putting aside things I liked to do for things I had to do would only bring stress.

Apart from reading for studying purposes, I hadn’t flipped through a book in quite some time.

“Do you have any favorite authors?”

“I don’t really discriminate… yes.”

“Have you read this?”

He pushed a book with a red cover through the gap in the bookshelf.

Unable to see the title properly from where I stood, I bent down and approached closer.

For a moment, a faint scent wafted up and tickled my nose.

Suddenly, I looked up and met a pair of distinct irises.

A gaze that seemed to leisurely observe.

Feeling embarrassed by the rawness of those eyes, I instinctively withdrew.

“…I haven’t read it.”

“Then I’ll lend it to you. Bring it back next time we meet.”

The book popped out through the gap.

‘The Three Hundred Year War Between Demons and Humans.~’

…The title was truly impressive.

I hesitated to accept the book, then finally opened my mouth.

There were words I wanted to say, but they didn’t come easily.

“About the rudeness last time…”

“Yeah, let’s not make an issue of it.”

It was a succinct response.

While it was fortunate that he didn’t make an issue of the rudeness, looking back, the Prince had committed quite a few instances of rudeness towards me. However, naturally, he was only referring to the rudeness I had committed against him.

Simultaneously, I couldn’t help but find similarities between the Prince and the Princess, and I unintentionally let out a laugh.

“You’re laughing.”

“I’m sorry.”

Though I tried to cover my mouth belatedly, seeing it doesn’t mean it wasn’t seen. However, the Prince’s expression, which I glanced at briefly, wasn’t so bad.