The Little Sister in the Devastating Novel Wants to Live

Episode 10

“I don’t know what Your Grace is thinking.”

Without answering the question, Igon merely smiled, contemplating the word ‘Your Grace.’

“Why display such behavior in the presence of servants? Many people already find us strange. If rumors were to spread, it could tarnish Your Grace’s dignity.”

“Evelyn.”

Interrupting my words, Igon called my name.

“I don’t mind.”

I couldn’t understand what he meant.

He was a duke, a high-ranking noble.

He was probably someone who thought of matters discussed in the gossip columns even more annoyingly than I did, or perhaps even more than me.

But he said he didn’t mind.

“I wouldn’t have bothered about dignity if I cared, I guess, I wouldn’t have entered your room every night.”

I was bewildered, and Igon chuckled at my reaction.

“My lovely Eve. Are you so curious about what I’m thinking?”

Instead of answering, I looked at Igon, and Igon looked at me.

Igon reached out and handed me a handkerchief.

My shoulders twitched at the sudden approach of the large hand.

“I generally think about you.”

I opened my mouth to respond to that statement.

However, what I intended to say vanished into thin air as the carriage started moving.

Inside the swaying carriage, I pondered for a while about what words I had lost.

I felt like I would die from exhaustion from dealing with people.

That was my first thought upon arriving at the banquet hall.

Nobles, their attendants, and guards who followed them.

And whispers scattered everywhere.

The courtier’s loud voice announced the arrival of Duke Rodore.

All eyes were on us.

My fingertips trembled.

My heart trembled similarly to my shoulders.

I clenched both fists, trying to suppress the trembling. I attempted to appear calm and collected, but it didn’t go well. Perhaps it was due to the layers of clothing, even breathing felt burdensome.

“Evelyn.”

I turned my head to the side, and Igon was extending his arm, seemingly indicating for me to take it. It seemed like an invitation to hold his arm. Afraid that my legs might give in and I’d collapse if I continued standing like this, I nervously reached for his arm.

Due to tension, my vision was blurry. I made an effort to regain composure and focused on the things coming into view one by one: the grand hall, sparkling chandeliers, lights, people, stairs, and on the stairs, Emperor and Empress, and…

“Eve, greet.”

Goodness. How long had I been lost in thought? I almost stood awkwardly in front of the Emperor. If it weren’t for Igon, who called me at the right moment, I might have appeared ridiculous to others.

Igon bowed his head first. I followed suit by bowing my waist.

“Raise your head now. I don’t want to see someone I respect bowing for too long in front of others.”

Respect. Emperor referred to Igon as someone he respected.

“Your Majesty.”

I was startled by that voice. It was an unfamiliar tone coming from Igon. His face, looking up at the Emperor, was innocent without any pretense. It was almost like that of a young boy.

“Having a good time playing with fire, my son.”

The Emperor, too, had a similar expression. With a compassionate smile as if dealing with his own son, he looked down at Igon. It was a scene far more delightful than what I had expected based on the stories from the viscount.

Did I miss something?

I alternated my gaze between the Emperor and Igon, reflecting on the conversation with the Viscount.

‘How should I behave? What should I do when I meet the Emperor in the palace?’

‘Well, you should be careful, but concerning the Emperor, you won’t have to worry much.’

‘Why is that?’

‘The Emperor holds deeper trust in you than we think. As long as he’s alive, there shouldn’t be any issues. What concerns me is the Empress.’

With the Viscount’s brief explanation, I merely thought of a friendly relationship between them.

However, this was just like family.

I had never heard Igon talk separately about the Empress.

He seemed extremely reluctant to discuss anything related to me.

Considering his status as the Duke with much to lose, it was natural to be cautious with words, but still, for me…

If this was our relationship, he should at least have given me some reassurance.

“Today is the second meeting between us, Lady”

My wandering thoughts were interrupted.

Words didn’t immediately come to respond, and though my mouth was open, no sound emerged.

A surprised sound made me startle, and I lowered my head, shoulders tensing.

“You seem quite nervous. Is this your first time in such a setting?”

“… I apologize, Your Majesty.”

Quickly lowering my body, I offered an apology for my rudeness.

“I didn’t mean to blame you. Raise your head.”

I carefully raised my head.

The Emperor’s gaze was fixed on me.

Two brown irises, appearing dark and deep rather than golden, shone brightly.

Brown eyes like a lion’s.

That’s how the author referred to the Emperor.

Originally, the eyes symbolizing the imperial family were golden, appearing only in direct descendants. Now, with the imperial power consolidated, there would likely be no one daring to argue over the color of the Emperor’s irises. However, during his time as a prince, I heard that he faced numerous criticisms and threats due to those eyes.

Maybe because he went through such turbulent times, in the Emperor’s eyes, I could see not only the composure fitting a person of noble birth but also a sharpness piercing through human nature.

“Today’s protagonist is the Duke.”

The Emperor raised his glass to Igon.

As the servant brought the glasses, Igon accepted and raised his glass toward the Emperor.

Two glasses ascended and descended again.

Without hesitation, Igon downed his drink.

The Emperor chuckled joyfully at his hearty demeanor.

“May you have an enjoyable time.”

A voice lower than the Emperor’s and higher than Igon’s cut through the Emperor’s laughter and entered my ears.

As the music echoed, the banquet began.

After exchanging greetings with the Emperor and Empress, we walked into the crowd.

Igon, standing gracefully amidst the approaching people, seemed like a kind beast.

Dignified, majestic, yet polite.

He appeared adept at handling people, if not carrying them.

He spoke no more than necessary, offering gentle smiles and warm greetings.

The awe and strong admiration from the nobles surrounding him were evident.

I, too, received greetings from familiar faces, led by the ladies of the conversation group.

They engaged me in conversation and, naturally, I drifted away from Igon.

“It’s a lovely day, Lady. Why not have a drink?”

Though I wasn’t good with alcohol in this life or the previous one, I accepted without refusing.

The mood lifted, and words flowed more comfortably.

With a few more drinks, I felt the tension release from my body.

Suddenly, I sensed warmth rising from my throat.

As the room blurred slightly, I found myself standing straight, and my heels stung slightly.

Unaware due to tension, I realized my shoes were too tight.

After excusing myself, I leaned against a pillar in a corner.

A cool breeze touched the back of my head, and I breathed out as if a person emerged from water after a long swim.

Finally, I could breathe properly.

Making sure no one was looking, I leaned on the pillar and sighed in relief.

Then, I slipped off my shoes, feeling a bit less pain.

With no one to notice, I took off both shoes.

Even if someone saw me, they wouldn’t notice beneath the long dress.

The chilly sensation from the bare feet beneath the thin silk was vividly felt.

Under the influence of alcohol, I raised my dazed eyes to look at the place I had come from. There, a world painted with light unfolded—filled with clothes and jewels, alcohol and laughter, clichéd conversations, and more passionate dancing than expected. It was endlessly bright, and therefore, it felt empty.

To someone, that world might be their home, but it wasn’t for me.

“Where does it hurt?”

A voice from nearby startled me, and I stood glued to the pillar.

Wait, Igon?

After blinking my eyes several times, I finally realized that I wasn’t hallucinating a person due to the alcohol. Standing before me was the protagonist announced by the Emperor for today.

The last time I saw him was in the center of the hall, amidst high-ranking nobles.

In a place where one couldn’t easily intrude or escape.

How could he silently move from there to here?

“Why are you here?”

“…Show me your feet.”

What on earth…

Igon knelt down as if bowing, without hesitation.

“Goodness!”

I tapped his shoulder with my fist and turned his head sideways.

Worried that someone might notice this absurd sight, I glanced around.

Fortunately, no one was paying attention to us.

Although I knew it wouldn’t be visible behind the dark and large pillar, I was still anxious.

“Don’t do this here.”

“Don’t talk as if you’re dealing with a dangerous person. Show me. I saw you stumble earlier.”

How did he see that?

While pondering how to respond similarly to others’ eyes, I felt a sharp pain and couldn’t say anything.

His long fingers slowly explored my foot.

Unable to overcome the slow touch, tears welled up as the heat inside me bubbled up.