GDTEA Chapter 56

Both Ashu’s grandfather and the village chief were speechless. Their momentary shock at her appearance and demeanor being different from what they had imagined quickly gave way to being stunned by Sharti’s clean face.

So she hadn’t been hiding terrible burn scars on her face after all.

Sharti tightly gripped her hand resting on her thigh under the table. Seeing others clearly, not hidden by hoods, felt strange and frightening.

Do I really have to go this far?

An accusatory echo mocking her foolishness reverberated in her mind.

At least it drowned out the sound of her heart pounding in fear.

Phew…

Sharti slowly relaxed her hands, which had been clenched so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

Her trembling crimson eyes gradually began to shine with determination.

“Five years ago, there was a survivor from the Krianet Palace.”

“…Krianet?”

The old man frowned as he muttered.

Like the village chief, he seemed to have heard the name before. It wasn’t possible to memorize all the countless large and small kingdoms and tribe names that existed besides Neweiton. Moreover, it wasn’t strange for residents of a hidden village to be unaware, as they were cut off from the outside world and stuck in the past.

“When the Krianet Kingdom, which triggered the great war waged by the Neweiton Empire, was defeated, it perished as the palace burned down.”

Sharti briefly and concisely revealed only the end instead of explaining the detailed history of the Krianet Kingdom.

Her expression was serene as she conveyed only facts without emotion.

It almost felt like listening to a corpse speak.

“At the time of defeat, there was an illegitimate child in the Krianet royal family, and that child is me.”

She deliberately omitted the fact that she had been a stand-in for Princess Arisviyan of Krianet.

After all, the only survivor from the burned palace was Sharti, the illegitimate child.

It was truth without lies, simply not revealing the deeper, more complex truth.

“Naturally, I should have perished in the flames with the palace five years ago.”

Her voice gradually became quieter and trembled as tension left her neck.

Sharti rubbed her throat.

“But the kingdom’s fall didn’t take my life but damaged my throat, leaving scars on my body. Though alive, I became someone who shouldn’t be. I carried a secret that would bring a fate worse than that day if discovered.”

She had returned from death, but living was painful and frightening enough to make her wish for death.

Even while hiding, she always had to be prepared for death.

“But I… I wanted to live.”

More precisely, there were people who took her hand and lifted her up, telling her it was okay to live, to survive.

Vireta’s family.

“I wanted to live without my secret being discovered, so I found ways not to be exposed, learned means to survive desperately, and came this far.”

Her steady crimson eyes flashed brightly.

Her courage blossoming amid fear was unwavering.

“I’m glad I didn’t die then. I’m glad I’m alive after struggling, even if it might have been meaningless.”

Sharti cleared her trembling throat and smiled faintly.

“If I had been alone, I would have given up and chosen death, but there were people who helped me, and I was able to get up by holding their hands.”

“……”

“Does someone like me need grand reasons to save lives?”

Because she knew how remarkable a life without giving up could be.

It was a simple and clear reason—just as she had received help, she could give help in return.

Sharti smiled with relief, as if unburdened after revealing her heavy secret.

“……”

The two people facing Sharti remained silent.

The old man was lost in thought, while the village chief repeatedly opened and closed his mouth.

Sharti patiently waited for their response without rushing.

“The doctor is……”

Just as the old man, with a deeply troubled face, was about to speak, the door behind him opened with a creaking sound, and village officials poured in.

“…!”

Sharti rose hastily in surprise. But she was already surrounded in an instant.

Dismay clouded her face.

**** 

Around the time Sharti was revealing her secret, Ren and Ashu were away from the village with a guard.

With no fog and good weather, they climbed the mountain quickly.

Ren wanted to keep looking back as they moved further from the village but suppressed the urge by hastening his steps.

‘Completing the task Sha entrusted to me comes first.’

If he became distracted with worrying about Sharti and failed to help her, he would only prove his incompetence. He needed to live up to her trust.

Ren hurried. He ran quickly at a pace he couldn’t maintain when with Sharti.

The guard’s panting gradually became inaudible. Since the guard had never ventured this far before, he inevitably fell behind.

“-How careless.”

What was the point of having a guard who couldn’t keep up?

But thanks to this, Ren reached the place where he had hidden the food and livestock stolen from Ashu’s village the previous night without having to worry about the guard.

Ren easily shouldered the livestock and sacks of food.

“I should hurry.”

Ren quickly crossed over a peak and arrived early at another village.

While waiting for the guard, Ren roughly brushed back his hair that had been disheveled by the wind.

He didn’t forget to wrap his face with the bandages he had brought.

Soon after, the guard arrived, staggering. Before the guard could catch his breath, Ren entrusted him entirely with the food exchange.

‘His way with words must be better than mine.’

Approaching strangers and engaging in exchanges and negotiations was beyond Ren’s capability.

Above all, no village would welcome an outsider with a bandaged face.

“Well… looking at you, you don’t seem to have a good eye for this, so it’ll be faster if I check.”

The guard, initially reluctant, cooperated willingly, perhaps worried that Ren might accidentally reveal the hidden village through a slip of the tongue.

Ren crossed his arms and kept track of time.

Suddenly, the scenery of the village caught his eye.

“……”

While Ashu’s village had a static atmosphere, the village before him was bustling.

It was natural for the mood to be different with different inhabitants.

As Ren gazed at the village, he unconsciously checked his side.

‘…Sha.’

Though he had been separated from Sharti before, this was the first time he had left her side so far away.

Upon realizing this, Ren felt loneliness.

And simultaneously, an unfamiliar anxiety bloomed in his chest.

“I’m not a lost child.”

Ren raised his gaze again to observe the villagers.

People laughing in a warm, friendly atmosphere. And himself, unable to enter their circle, lingering on the outskirts.

It felt as if he had become an unwelcome, rejected entity.

“…!”

Ren stepped back with an instinctive aversion.

He clicked his tongue at the momentary discomfort that arose and disappeared.

‘I should find a quiet place.’

Fortunately, his mind eased as he moved to the village entrance.

Ren briefly closed his eyes while resting the back of his head against a tree.

Quietness, solitude, stillness.

While instinctively anxious about Sharti’s absence, Ren found comfort in the familiarity of silence.

Could it be that even with amnesia, he couldn’t forget loneliness and emptiness?

‘I suspected as much.’

The person he was before losing his memories was indeed pathetic.

Ren sneered at the hole in his memories that remained unfilled despite his efforts.

“It seems you don’t want to come back very much.”

Whether the reason for his memories not returning was voluntary or involuntary no longer mattered.

His teal eyes gleamed coldly.

“‘Now’ isn’t ideal either, but it must be better than being that pathetic person.”

Despite prioritizing Sharti over his memories during their time together, Ren secretly hoped for his memories to return.

‘I want to repay my debt to Sha.’

He wanted to face her with a proper identity, to thank her properly with dignity.

There was also expectation. Ren hoped he would be someone with status or wealth who could give Sharti much. And if she allowed, he wanted to create a safe haven for her, not in the mountains but somewhere she could feel secure.

But he had no intention of becoming that pathetic person again.

‘A pathetic person might not be able to properly repay the debt.’

Since ‘Ren’ wouldn’t disappear even after his memories returned, his feelings toward Sharti would remain.

But Ren didn’t want to reclaim the life of a ‘pathetic person.’

Even now, by his standards, he was already quite weak and useless; if finding his memories would only make him ‘less pathetic,’ he didn’t see the need to recover them.

“-It’s done.”

When the guard returned, Ren shook off his thoughts that had been deepening with endless cynicism and contempt.

Ren shouldered all the exchanged food at once and nodded to the guard.

It meant to go straight to the next village.

Having gauged Ren’s pace, the guard followed the instruction without unnecessary arguments.

Thus, Ren continued to travel between Ashu’s village and other villages to procure food.

All exchanges were completed only by late afternoon.

Leaving the exhausted, staggering guard to find his own way back, Ren was on his way back to Ashu’s village first.

“Ah! Doctor’s assistant!”

During this time, he also encountered Ashu.

Waving his hands excitedly, Ashu ran towards Ren with a pleased expression.

“You’ve worked hard!”

“……”

Ren nodded briefly.

“You seem really fast. I heard you made three round trips while I made just one. I tried to speed up thinking I was too leisurely, but it was nowhere close. Haha, actually, I rested briefly because I was tired.”

Unlike Ren, who didn’t particularly want to chat, Ashu chatted away, matching Ren’s pace.

“It’s actually almost my first time being away from the village and wandering the mountains for so long, so I had trouble finding my way. I was also nervous about meeting people other than our villagers, which almost made the exchange difficult.”

“……”

Ren didn’t respond.

Ashu’s sudden friendliness felt out of place.

‘Sha isn’t even here.’

Ashu had never spoken to Ren before. It was puzzling why he was suddenly acting friendly.

Then suddenly, Ren frowned.

‘When Sha was present, he only spoke to her.’

Ren managed his sudden emotions by letting out a hollow laugh.

He didn’t want to reveal his childish displeasure.

“Um, assistant.”

Ashu, watching Ren’s reaction, cautiously spoke.

When Ren glanced at him, Ashu scratched his cheek sheepishly.

“If it’s not too intrusive, may I ask how long you’ve known the doctor?”

“…?”

At Ren’s look that seemed to question why he was curious, Ashu waved his hands.

“Actually, I heard you speaking informally to the doctor. It seemed… very close.”

Ren kept his mouth shut.

He couldn’t deny that his unconscious informal speech wasn’t partly due to childish wariness toward Ashu.

But Ashu’s intention in pointing this out seemed strangely meaningful.

“My master has allowed me to. It’s the benefit of sharing many things.”

Though the words were embarrassing, Ren felt a strange elation.

It was a kind of very childish sense of victory.

“I see…!”

However, Ren felt discomfort at Ashu’s sparkling-eyed response.

He had a feeling something was wrong. As Ren belatedly tried to add something, Ashu rubbed his reddened cheeks and muttered.

“Then would you allow me too?”

Ren stopped in his tracks.

Ashu turned to Ren with a hopeful smile.

“If I become closer to the doctor than I am now, would she treat me comfortably like she does with you?”

Ren’s face hardened.

It wasn’t simply a feeling of reverence.

“Would you help me achieve that? Please!”

Only after hearing someone else’s honest, pure confession did he precisely recognize his own state.

This was jealousy.