Sharti nodded, somewhat dazed.
<Yes. He’s a man.>
“Oh, no, not just gender. He’s the opposite sex,” Virena clarified.
Virena was discussing the difference between same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.
Sharti tapped the notepad with her pencil.
‘Perhaps she’s asking if I’ve ever thought of him as a man?’
Fortunately, Sharti wasn’t completely clueless about these matters.
Sharti asked herself internally:
‘Have I ever felt that way?’
It would be a lie to say never, but it was too ambiguous to definitively say yes.
To begin with, Sharti had no memory of living with anyone other than Vireta’s family for an extended period.
Because of this, she couldn’t tell if she was conscious of Ren as a man or simply observing someone who was her complete opposite.
‘What does it even feel like to be conscious of someone as the opposite sex?’
Ren had strong, masculine features and a muscular physique, not to mention his intimidating presence that made him appear as an attractive man.
Of course, Sharti had trembled in his presence before.
But she wasn’t sure if that trembling was from nervousness due to Ren’s large frame, or if it was the flutter she felt when her guard came down around his kindness.
“Actually, Grandmother and I were both worried. Taking in a strange man. What if he had bad intentions?”
“……”
Only now did Sharti fully realize what kind of worries Vireta and Virena must have had, and how shocked they must have been to hear about something she hadn’t told them beforehand.
Sharti lowered her eyebrows in apology.
‘I wanted to handle it on my own without causing worry… but in the end, I even needed their help.’
She had wanted to show them that she was different from five years ago.
But in the end, she had only proven herself unreliable.
“But we trust you, Sha.”
When Sharti looked up, Virena was smiling brightly.
She was far from being a beauty, but Virena’s smile was energetic and youthful. And her smile was kind enough to have opened Sharti’s heart five years ago.
“We believed you’d do this—” Virena made a chopping motion across her neck, “if that man tried anything funny.”
Sharti burst into silent laughter at the exaggerated gesture. As if hearing the soundless laugh, Virena’s smile deepened.
“Sha, I’ve never spoken with this Ren or know anything about him, but I know one thing.”
Virena recalled the teal eyes she had seen in the log cabin at dawn.
Those dark eyes, reminiscent of a wild beast that didn’t trust humans, only cleared when looking at Sharti.
To Ren, Sharti was like the dawn that chased away the darkness of deep night.
“To that man, you’ve become more than just a necessary person—you’ve become an important one.”
Virena had good intuition when it came to relationships.
“When a man gives flowers, it means something.”
Especially when the man has amnesia.
It could be survival instinct, or a natural action to gain favor.
But Virena ignored all those possibilities.
“He wants to see the recipient smile.”
“……”
“He wants to see that expression, that face.”
After Virena’s heartfelt explanation, Sharti’s thought process came to a halt.
All she could see was Ren’s image as he handed her the flowers.
“……”
The thought that her face was hidden by the hood didn’t cross her mind.
No matter how small her face was, there were parts that weren’t covered by the hood.
Typically, it would be the jawline, but when the wind blew, one could see up to the corners of her mouth.
‘Did I… smile?’
Sharti reflexively touched the corner of her mouth.
Watching her silently, Virena carefully spoke up.
“Sha, if—I mean, later on. Have you ever thought about taking off your hood in front of him?”
“…!”
Virena’s suggestion snapped Sharti back to reality.
Fearing that Sharti might recoil in horror, Virena quickly grabbed her hand.
“Grandmother always said to be careful and never let your guard down. And of course, that’s right. But Sha, haven’t you ever thought about it?”
How long would she have to live in this world with her face hidden, as if she were dead?
Until she died, would she have to live like a faceless ghost?
Sharti considered Virena her best friend.
And like a best friend should, Virena saw through the unreasonable constraints that Sharti had implicitly accepted.
“It’s been only five years, but it’s already been five years. Many people can’t even remember the faces of Krianet Kingdom’s nobles anymore. And there’s a greater chance that when that man regains his memory, he’ll have nothing to do with ‘that day.'”
She knew that. That’s why she had unconsciously felt at ease.
To the point where she could remain calm despite having already shown her face to him several times.
“Sha, how many truly good people can we meet in our lives? How often will someone appear who cares about your feelings enough to give you flowers?”
Virena took a deep breath.
Virena wanted to see Sharti’s face.
From some point on, Sharti had stopped showing her face even to Vireta’s family. She had become so accustomed to meticulously hiding her face behind a wall.
While feeling hurt by this, Virena also felt pity and sympathy for her.
“If you can’t take off your hood in front of such a person, you might never get the chance to take it off.”
It didn’t have to be a special occasion. Even a minor change could be used as an excuse to create an opportunity.
Using Ren as an excuse, Virena hoped that Sharti would break down that wall herself.
“Sha, sometimes action needs to come before thought. It’s okay to follow your heart and just do it.”
“……”
It was an irresponsible thing to say.
But that irresponsible statement was pushing her forward.
Sharti, too, was facing that wall.
[It’s as if you’ve found someone you don’t need to write notes for or wear a hood around.]
Sharti smiled bitterly.
Perhaps it was because she was Vireta’s granddaughter.
She gives the same hopeful advice.
‘It’s okay to have futile hopes…’
Even if it’s a futile hope, it’s okay to place it on Ren.
When Sharti didn’t say anything, Virena cautiously gauged her reaction.
“I’m sorry if that sounded intimidating just now. What I mean is, Sha, whatever choice you make, I’ll support and protect you. Just like our grandmother did.”
“I’ve been talking out loud with Ren.”
“Huh? Wh-what? Hmm?”
Virena’s hand trembled at Sharti’s sudden voice.
Finding this familiar reaction strangely fresh, Sharti swallowed a laugh.
Carefully, Sharti took off her hood.
“Ren says my voice is fine. Not just saying it—he really thinks it’s fine.”
With her hood off, Sharti smiled as if she felt liberated.
However, she couldn’t hide the slight tremor in her voice.
“Ren is a good person. I don’t want to burden such a good person anymore.”
“Burden?!”
“Relying on Ren as I please is a burden. Since my voice is fine, what about my face? What about my trauma? What about….my secret?”
“…Sha—”
Virena covered Sharti’s hand with both of hers.
The trembling that had started in her voice had reached Sharti’s hands.
“Expectations gradually turn into greed. And finally…”
Sharti bit her lip.
“I’m afraid I’ll come to wish that Ren won’t leave.”
“…!”
“Not because he knows my secret, not because he’s someone who shares my secret, but because he’s someone I’ve come to depend on. I think I won’t want to give up such a Ren. I won’t want to let him go.”
I won’t want to lose him.
With reddened eyes, Sharti grinned.
Seeing this, Virena was about to burst out but held back.
Sharti’s smile, suggesting she knew she shouldn’t desire something, was as pure as a child accustomed to giving up.
Virena’s expression was so honest that Sharti let out a small laugh.
“He might have someone who promised him a future, even if he doesn’t remember now. Someone precious to him might be waiting for him to return as soon as possible.”
As she poured out her heart, Sharti suddenly imagined.
The existence that might have been by Ren’s side before he lost his memory. The woman who might have received flowers from him and smiled with excitement.
“That’s why I will never waver. I hope my futile expectations don’t become a burden to Ren. This is enough as it is.”
Ren was a good person. Nothing more, nothing less.
He was someone who would someday return to his original life, and Sharti would be alone again.
Sharti didn’t want to add love to her already uncertain life.
She had neither the luxury nor the inclination to see someone as a potential partner.
Not yet.
Facing Sharti’s resolute mindset, Virena couldn’t say a word.
“I’m sorry, Sha. I acted like I knew better, without understanding your feelings.”
Virena had never considered the possibility that there might be someone Ren had shared his heart with in his lost memories.
It couldn’t be helped.
Virena was romantic because she was a third party, while Sharti, being directly involved, had to be extremely realistic.
<No, I know you said it out of concern for me. Thank you, Virena.>
“Shaaa…”
With the tip of her nose stinging, Virena began to sob.
As she patted Virena’s hand, Sharti thought:
‘If, just supposing, Ren were to say he doesn’t want to find his memories… if he were to say he wants to stay in the old log cabin, by my side, then what would I do?’
Her futile expectations ultimately led to a selfish supposition.
Please, may such a day never come.
Sharti desperately wished.
And the small shadow eavesdropping on their conversation quietly disappeared.
Waking up from a nap with even more alert eyes, Tein clenched his cotton fists tightly.
“I must tell Ren.”
The kind doctor was sad.
So he had to inform the cause of her sadness.
Like his grandmother and sister, Tein also wanted to protect Sharti in his own way.
****
Early in the evening, as the sun set early, Sharti kept her promise to Ren.
Using the darkness as an excuse, Ren climbed the mountain with Sharti without bandages on his face.
They ate dinner with special roasted sweet potatoes that Virena had prepared.
As they walked steadily without falling, despite the absence of light, Ren suddenly spoke.
“Did something happen?”
“…?”
Sharti, who had been focused only on climbing the mountain, turned around to see Ren standing still.
“You haven’t spoken since returning from the village.”
“That’s not true…”
“If you’re tired, rest. There’s no need to push yourself.”
Ren looked ready to return to the old log cabin immediately.
Sharti quickly waved her hands.
“It’s because I was chatting with my friend. I think I talked too much today, so I’m saving my voice.”
“You talked that much…?”
For a moment, Ren felt a pang of jealousy towards this “friend.”
He was also annoyed that the precious conversation time they had just established had been taken by that friend.
“…Seems like you enjoyed it.”
In truth, he greatly envied the friend who had such a long conversation with her.
He was curious about what they had discussed, but Ren pretended to be nonchalant as he continued climbing the mountain.
“A secret became no longer a secret. In the end, I caused a lot of worry. Since there might be misunderstandings about you, I explained the situation.”
“Misunderstandings? What kind…”
Ren recalled the sister that Tein had mentioned.
Ren cleared his throat.
He couldn’t help but be curious.
“…So, what did you talk about?”
Ren asked in a calm voice, glancing at Sharti.
From Ren’s face, shadowed by trees, expectation was visible.
“They asked how it was living with you. They were worried because you’re a man.”
Sharti’s voice was steady, without fluctuation.
Ren swallowed dryly.
He sensed it.
Something about the flow of conversation was strange.
Sharti shrugged her shoulders lightly.
“So I told them not to worry.”
Just then, the wind blew, disturbing Sharti’s hood.
For an instant, feeling as if his eyes had met with her crimson eyes, Sharti smiled.
“I told them we absolutely never see each other as the opposite sex.”
“…Absolutely?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
Ren’s expression sharply contorted.
