“Sobs, Aaaaaah!”
A piercing scream shattered the silence of the early dawn.
Rutus swung his sword through the air to shake off the blood, then wiped the remaining bloodstains with the handkerchief he was holding.
Though it seemed some red liquid had smeared onto the flowers that were still clinging on, he couldn’t verify it as he promptly threw the handkerchief into the broken magic device.
Rutus opened her mouth and spoke to the commander of the knights.
“Since one of her arms has been cut off, she can no longer be able to work as a maid. Dispose of the severed arm properly and fire her. Inform the head maid to give her severance pay and throw her out.”
“……Understood.”
“In addition, from this moment on, seal off the servants’ private passage. Anyone caught using it will also be dismissed. Notify the head maid to warn everyone.”
“…….”
“As for the place I was supposed to go… it’s almost dawn, so that’s not possible now. File a report on what you find by the end of the day. I’ll go again in the evening.”
“Yes.”
While speaking, Rutus gathered up the scattered fragments and turned back towards the main mansion.
He wanted to change his clothes and rest a little.
* * *
However his wish couldn’t be fulfilled right away.
“Did you stubbornly hold onto it until your hand ended up like this?”
“Well, I couldn’t just leave it in the fire, could I?”
Do you know what that item is? Ellie, who rarely got attached to things, had cherished it for a long time.
Given that Rutus knew this, it would have been strange if he wasn’t enraged.
Despite his self-deprecating words, Rutus mumbled absentmindedly with his head half-bowed, while the commander of the knights, who was expertly bandaging Rutus’s hand as directed by the physician, spoke in exasperation.
“Then you should have at least wrapped your hand in aura! Didn’t you hear what the physician said earlier? The temperature was so high that if it had been an ordinary person, it wouldn’t have just ended with burns.”
“Yeah…”
“You shouldn’t have even clenched your fist. Because of the simultaneous bleeding and burning, if left untreated, it might necrotize. We should call a priest as soon as the sun rises—”
“I’ll take care of it, so leave now.”
Knowing the words were out of concern, Rutus listened quietly but eventually issued an order to leave.
Listening to more would only worsen his headache.
Rutus grabbed the medicine he had hidden in his study desk and took it. The commander hesitated before speaking.
“…Your Grace, I can’t help but worry. It seems you’re taking the medicine too frequently these days.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’ve seen you take it more than seven times in the past ten days. I’ve heard you’re looking for stronger medicine because you’ve built up a tolerance…….”
The commander, advising against relying too much on the medicine, said it’s only a temporary solution and noted Rutus seemed to be pushing his body too hard in recent months. Rutus, with bleary eyes, remained silent.
A life dependent on medicine, without sleep or proper meals, focused solely on work.
It wasn’t normal. He knew that.
But feeling no need to correct this lifestyle, he nodded half-heartedly, not wanting to waste energy on a pointless argument.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
His lackluster response made the commander hesitate.
Rutus, ignoring his gaze, picked up the clothes draped over the couch.
“You’re changing here?”
“Yes.”
“Why not change in the bedroom?”
“The child is sleeping. I don’t want to wake him. It seems like he has only just fallen asleep.”
As he spoke, he looked out the hazy blue window where the sun was barely rising, and it was the time when the child was about to fall asleep out of exhaustion.
The commander protested at Rutus’s words.
“Still, perhaps you should go to the bedroom today…You look very pale.”
It was understandable given the recent events left no room for rest.
“……”
But Rutus nodded slowly, acknowledging his need for rest.
After changing clothes, Rutus headed to the second-floor bedroom, the guards stepping aside.
Entering the bedroom slowly, Rutus walked to the bed where the child was sleeping. As expected, the child was sound asleep.
Staring blankly at the child’s face.
“…Assemble an elite unit.”
Suddenly, the thought of leaving this child alone to go to the war resurfaced.
He had come to the bedroom to rest, but though his body was more comfortable, his mind was not at ease. Rutus sighed, rubbing his face.
Starting tomorrow, once he returned to the knight order, he would only come home late at night, just like before. To complete the task the Emperor had ordered within ten days, time was severely lacking.
‘…I won’t even have time to come see him.’
Rutus thought about increasing the guards as he placed his hand on the crib’s guardrail.
Perhaps because he had been talking to himself, the child’s eyelashes, which had been trembling faintly, fluttered up a few times before lifting.
“Uung…”
“……”
I thought he would start whining like before, or even burst into tears since he had opened his eyes, but surprisingly, the child didn’t cry.
Rutus, who had stopped moving due to the slight tension, lowered his gaze and met the child’s eyes.
His eyelashes were still damp from the tears he had shed all night long, and his eyes and nose were red. The twinkle in his eyes, which held the same violet irises as mine, resembled Ellie’s. So did his fair, clear skin, raven-black hair, and the shape of his hands and feet.
As our eyes met, the child smiled brightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“…Now that I look at it, you have a dimple.”
He had once examined his smiling face closely because it reminded him so much of someone, but he had forgotten about it since quite some time had passed.
Rutus smiled faintly when he noticed a small dimple on the child’s cheek.
Perhaps it was because he looked tired despite his smile, the child quickly stopped smiling.
“Da…oh, da….”
Instead, he looked at Rutus and babbled enthusiastically, his words making no sense.
“Daa, uh…”
“……”
“…Da, da.”
Finally, he uttered syllables that made sense.
Surprised, Rutus flinched and widened his eyes involuntarily.
Despite knowing it was likely coincidental, Rutus froze and stared at the child for a while.
“Dada…”
The child said, meeting his eyes squarely. At that, Rutus couldn’t hide his embarrassment and muttered,
“I never taught you the word ‘Dada,’ so how…”
Wasn’t it common for children to say ‘mama’ as their first word?
It was generally believed that most children called their mothers first due to the bond formed over the ten months of being carried. Those with children around Rutus had also said so.
Unless someone persistently taught the child…
[Come on, …say it! …Shall we try? Baby, ah… look!]
[…What are you doing?]
[…]
[Ellie?]
[Ah, uh, that… Ah, nothing?]
“……”
As he recalled that far, Rutus opened his mouth slightly, struck by a sudden realization.
“Ah.”
At the time, he had simply dismissed it as insignificant, wanting to show the child a new game she had just learned.
Even though it wasn’t the first or second time she had done it, he hadn’t even thought to ask what she was doing because she kept brushing him off whenever he asked.
“dada- da-oo, da…dada!”
The child continued to babble, having opened his mouth once and finding it fun.
The person who had taught him this must have been…
[My baby, dada. Shall we try? Dada, daaaa― daaaa―]
…Ellie.
She must have been secretly grabbing the child whenever she had a chance and saying these words.
And then, when she was caught, she would pretend to be innocent and play a prank on me, as usual.
She must have wanted to hear it too.
[Our child will grow up as big as me someday, right?]
[Of course he will. ]
[Hmm… no. Since you and I are both taller than average, he could be even taller.]
[Isn’t it too early for a child who can’t even say ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ yet?]
[Exactly! When will this baby start to talk? I want to brag about it to my family soon!]
Despite everything, the word she taught the child was his title…
“……”
Rutus, who had been staring blankly at the child, bowed his head deeply.
Then he noticed a flower petal lying on his foot, so he bent down and picked it up.
It was the same kind of petal I had smashed out of anger after confirming that the vase had broken a moment ago.
‘The maid must have missed it while cleaning in a hurry.’
Rutus looked down at the petal in his palm, instinctively trying to tighten his grip.
It was no different from the one before, even more insignificant.
“….”
Oddly, he couldn’t bring himself to crush it.
Without much effort, Rutus simply thought he could easily crush it with a light squeeze, yet he couldn’t throw it away.
Watching the child start talking, crawling, then walking, and eventually running.
He had planned to watch all this with Ellie.
He had countless visions of the future, imagining the child graduating from the academy and becoming an adult, just as they had dreamed.
“But…”
She taught the child with such anticipation, yet she left without even hearing it once.
Rutus, staring blankly at the single petal in his palm, looked up. The bedroom they had decorated together came into view.
From the shattered vase to the curtains on the window, the carpet on the floor, the color and pattern of the wallpaper, the bedding, and the couch.
There wasn’t a single thing that Ellie hadn’t touched.
The early decorated child’s room, the cozy study, the central hall of the mansion, the banquet hall, the terrace, the garden.
“…..”
Everywhere was filled with Ellie’s traces, and even most of his life stemmed from her influence.
Yet, Ellie herself was nowhere to be found.
“Dadaa-”
Even in this little child, she had left her mark.
Truly, she would never be seen again.
Suddenly, Rutus felt his vision blur. As he blinked, warm liquid fell into his palm, clearing his sight momentarily before it blurred again.
“Ah…”
At last, tears came, as if to prove that his inability to cry before was a lie.
“Da… dadaa.”
“……”
It would be better if he could just stop breathing right now.
Barely supporting his collapsing body by gripping a corner of the baby crib, Rutus, with trembling hands, held the single petal tightly.
“Ah, sobs…”
The magnitude of the love you left behind frightens me.
He couldn’t bear it any longer
TL/N: MY EYES ARE BAWLING ;_; UGHH ML, FL & EVEN THEIR CHILD NEVER FAILED TO MAKE CRY! EACH ONE OF THEM NEEDS A COMFORTING HUG FR…
* * * *
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You make me cry , my pillow is so wet