-But, He was definitely fine just a moment ago!
Ellie, who had been sitting close to the bed’s headboard, quickly stood up to check on the child. It was clear she hadn’t been mistaken; the child’s back was drenched in sweat as he tossed and turned restlessly.
Though she couldn’t physically touch him to feel his temperature, it was clear at a glance that he had a fever.
‘…What should I do in this situation…?!’
Of course, someone needed to be called. Whether it was Marie or another servant, or even a physician, they needed to bring water to wipe his body and change his sweat-drenched clothes.
She was not entirely ignorant; she knew such basic things.
The problem was that none of these tasks could be done by a ghost.
Ellie, growing increasingly anxious, finally decided to wake the child. If the child made noise, someone might come in response to the sound.
‘…Given the time and the almost deserted attic, I wonder how many people would actually respond.’
She had no other choice.
“Adi. Adi! Wake up, can you hear me?”
“Nngh…”
“Adi!”
“So…hot…”
-……
…Of course it would be hot if he had a fever!
It was no use. Whether he was too exhausted or too ill to wake up, the child remained asleep, only muttering and tossing slightly despite her shouting directly into his ear.
He even kicked off the blanket halfway while complaining about the heat.
-Ugh……!
Once the sweat cooled, his clothes would become cold, and he would feel even worse.
She kept calling his name repeatedly with no success, growing more frantic as time passed.
‘Why on earth isn’t there anyone standing guard outside the door?!’
It was standard for a knight to be posted outside the rooms of visitors and members of noble families.
But there was no one in front of the child’s room. She thought she had become numb to the repeated disappointment and anger over the past month, but it flared up again.
-At the very least, someone should be here to change his clothes…!
The helplessness of being a ghost, unable to touch anything, was excruciating.
Watching the sweat trickle down the child’s temple, Ellie anxiously paced.
Then she quickly considered who might still be awake.
‘Someone. I need to call someone… The butler and the knight commander, they’re the ones I’ve seen awake before, so they might still be up. Or Marie, who was with us just a while ago?’
Marie might still be cleaning up in the dining room. And there was one more person…
‘No, it can’t be him.’
Ellie shook her head vigorously, consciously erasing the last person that came to mind. He was a card she wouldn’t use unless it was absolutely the last resort.
…First, let’s go to Marie, who is the closest.
With a final look at the child’s small, flushed face, Ellie hurriedly turned away.
Even knowing she could do nothing, parents would always cling to a 0.1% chance for their children.
She didn’t think it was pointless. She just hoped desperately that someone, anyone, would still be awake.
‘…Why is everyone gone!’
Having just completed her fifth round of the duke’s mansion, Ellie collapsed onto the ground, pulling at her hair.
There was no need to worry about how to lure the butler, the commander of the knights, or Marie to the child’s room.
Because she couldn’t find any of them!
‘Strictly speaking, the butler and Marie were missing, and I’d forgotten the commander of the knights was detained.’
It didn’t make much difference; none of them could be of any help.
She did spot a few knights taking turns keeping watch but no matter how much she waved or shouted, there was no response.
Honestly, she had expected this and wasn’t too disheartened. She just felt a bit — a lot — more anxious.
‘Sir Montero was finally found on my third round, but I couldn’t call him, let alone bring him out of the room.’
Looking at his dark circles and gaunt face, she couldn’t blame him.
Although he had often stayed up and skipped meals during the war, he didn’t seem overly exhausted, but he was clearly not well.
Even if he downplayed his condition, any observer could tell. Considering his remaining detention period and the reason for his punishment made it even clearer.
And as for the butler and Marie…
-These two are not in the dining hall or in the room. Where did they go, for real!
No matter how much of a servant they were, was it really okay for the resident personnel to wander off so easily? Ellie wondered.
Marie’s frequently used coat and shoes were missing from her quarters, suggesting she had gone out altogether.
At this hour.
‘Marie often took long outings before, but what about the butler?’
Could they have gone together? But the butler t’s role didn’t allow for sudden absences.
Unlike Marie, who seemed to only care for the child, he had many responsibilities.
Moreover, he had to be promptly available whenever Rutus called, so he couldn’t be away for long.
‘…But why are they gone? I can’t understand this at all.’
Ellie sighed deeply and stood up. She had searched the mansion at a speed that even she found astonishing, yet nearly an hour had passed since she left the attic.
Normally, she would applaud herself for only taking an hour to make five laps of this large mansion.
But the situation was different now.
‘Leaving a sick child alone for an hour is already too long, even if it wasn’t that long.’
Even though she had no results, she had to go back now. Ellie, who forcibly pulled away her lingering footsteps, moved to the attic.
Floating back took less than ten seconds.
-…Adi?
She slid through the attic window.
Almost collapsing in shock, Ellie steadied herself and called out to the child.
“Uh…ngh…”
-Adi. My baby!
Her fears from before she left were spot on. The child’s condition had noticeably worsened. He was whimpering.
Sweat had dried and given him chills, causing cold sweats, which then made him shiver again as they cooled.
How long had he been like this? His pale skin was dotted with red spots.
-Is…Is it because of the high fever? What should I do…
Ellie clasped her trembling hands together, trying to stay calm.
She was able to hold her mind together because the child, who was in so much pain that he was shedding tears even in his sleep.
The child needed the help of someone alive. That thought alone made Ellie think hard.
‘Who else is there that I can go to now?’
Someone who could find the child and take immediate action or give appropriate orders. Someone who might still be awake.
‘Rutus…’
After vowing to curse him and not trust him, it was only a few days later that his name was the only one that came to mind in her panic.
Her panic-stricken mind couldn’t come up with a better option.
Ellie, with bloodshot eyes and clenched fists, spoke to the child.
-My baby. I’ll be back soon…… soon. Don’t worry too much and don’t be scared……just hold on a little longer, please.
The child, unconscious and unable to hear, didn’t respond, but Ellie spoke in a pleading tone, more to herself than to the child.
She was just about to turn away.
“Mommy…”
She faintly heard the word from behind. Her heart sank for a moment.
But when she turned around with trembling eyes, the child’s eyes were still closed.
Thinking she misheard, Ellie left the attic.
If she had known that the child’s barely open eyes were fixed on her back, she never would have left.
* * *
-Rutus…Rutus!
Ellie hurriedly left the annex and headed towards Rutus’s office in the main house, glancing around anxiously.
It was later than last time, so she had checked the bedroom first, confirming that no one was there.
However, contrary to her expectation of seeing a familiar face among the stacks of documents, the darkened office showed no signs of anyone’s presence.
-…Not here?
Confirming Rutus’s absence, Ellie blinked in the pitch-dark office, feeling lost.
If Rutus wasn’t around either, what could she possibly do now?
Apart from anxiously waiting by the sick child for someone to come.
-……
What can I do?
Unlike him, who can’t see a single strand of hair, I am here by the child’s side, even with this form. Except for that petty sense of superiority, do I really have anything left?
It was a fundamental question.
If neither of us could do anything, do I even have the right to resent Rutus?
-I died first, after all.
Unlike Rutus, who was still alive, I couldn’t even do that. Regardless of how he treated the child, a parent is an absolute presence.
The one who was not there at all and the one who was indifferent but still alive could not be the same.
As these thoughts made her feel as if blood was draining from her head,
Rustle.
-……?
Ellie quickly moved towards the small noise coming from one corner of the office.
There, she found Rutus lying uncomfortably on the couch with his eyes closed.
For some reason, her mouth opened before she could even think.
-Rutus.
“……”
-Rutus, wake up.
Please.
-…Adi is sick.
Our child is sick, Rutus.
Ellie crouched in front of Rutus, who lay facing her with his eyes closed, and bowed her head. The sight of her long, black hair cascading down reminded her of someone.
A very young, delicate breath that resembled both her and Rutus so much.
-I…
When she first opened her eyes and sensed something was wrong, Ellie was actually worried about Rutus.
Since it was clear that a considerable amount of time had passed, he was nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps I had made things difficult for him, who had already broken down once. Such worries crossed my mind.
Then I remembered that he had a family other than me, and I felt relieved.
Even if I wasn’t there, there was our child, and my parents and siblings, who had been with him since childhood, would be by his side, helping him move on quickly.
-…I hoped you two would live happily together.
Though I could no longer be with you, if the two of you were happy, it wouldn’t be so bad.
That’s what I thought.
-I didn’t know Adi would suffer too…
Facing this harsh reality was overwhelming. Even if I managed to patch things up once, I couldn’t be sure it would work again.
Especially now, I couldn’t intervene directly. What could I possibly do?
I was angry, but also felt sorry and heartbroken.
Seeing you return, only to abandon our child and utter those harsh words…
-Please, Rutus.
I was angry at myself for being powerless.
That’s why I did it.
I chose to place the full blame on Rutus, even though the root cause lay with me.
…I shouldn’t have done that.
-I’m sorry. I was wrong…
All I could offer was the excuse that I never imagined you’d be pushed to this extent.
I won’t do it anymore, so please, just this once.
Just once, if you could hear my voice.
-Please save Adi…
This child is your family too. Ellie muttered with her face buried in her knees.
At that moment,
“Gasp…!”
Rutus, who had been furrowing his brow, suddenly took a deep breath and opened his eyes.
* * * *
If you want to support the Translator, Translator’s Ko-Fi:
