Ellie burst into laughter at a situation that would normally bring tears to her eyes.
‘I mean…I can’t believe I died almost immediately before my baby could turn one year old…’
There might have been a few months of gap in between, but it was still not a long time.
At most, the people around her might have thought it was about time to move on.
It couldn’t have been more than a fleeting moment until her story faded from the lips of people who love gossip.
…Or maybe it was even shorter than that.
-…….
With a face that had turned cold, she was trembling with her fists clenched. when…
Hiccup!
Ellie turned her head at the small, adorable sound that filled the quiet room.
The child, with a look of utter embarrassment, covered his mouth with both hands.
“Ah… um, hiccup! That’s,”
-…….
“Daddy isn’t really a bad, hiccup! Isn’t a bad person, hiccup!”
But no. Ellie, who easily inferred the unfinished sentence, nodded with a wry smile.
Anyway, there was no need to get angry while ignoring her child’s anxiousness right now.
‘…I’ll deal with this later.’
Whether to punish him or shower him with curses, it wasn’t a problem that could be solved right away anyway.
So let’s do it when Rutus crawls into the corner of the house.
After quickly reaching an agreement with herself, Ellie nodded at the half-eaten food on the tray.
-Sorry for saying that recklessly. Shall we finish eating now?
“…….”
-…Baby?
“My… tummy…”
-Your tummy hurts?
No, no. The child denied it by pushing his lips inwardly.
Then, as if checking the surroundings, he quickly put down the knife he was holding on the tray.
Glancing back and forth between his stomach and the tray, Ellie watched as the child slumped his shoulders and bowed his head deeply, playing with his hands.
“My tummy’s full….”
-Already?
Ellie’s eyes widened in surprise at the child’s words.
All he had eaten so far was about half a bowl of soup for a child’s portion, two bites of salad, and half a small bun.
To that, he had barely touched a piece of steak that he had cut small to make it look like he had eaten something.
Given the variety of dishes, it was just a taste.
‘…… No wonder he seems a bit smaller for his age.’
It wasn’t hard to understand why the child was smaller than children his age, considering he’d only been eating like this.
Ellie knelt down to the child’s level and gently stroked his hair.
-How about you only eat three more bites?
“……”
-Don’t like that? Hmm… then how about two?
The child, who had been contemplating with his lips pursed at a distance that was neither close nor far, reached for the tray.
Soon after, his plump cheeks puffed out as they moved around.
Ellie watched the scene unfold with a faint smile. It felt as if the complex emotions she had been feeling were melting away.
How much time had passed like that?
“I’m done…”
Ellie blinked slowly at the gaze that was fixed on her.
As she watched the child’s soft cheeks move, she realized that the hands that had been busy moving to and from the plate had stopped.
Ellie stared at the short legs dangling under the bed and opened her mouth.
-Then let’s wash up and go to bed, shall we?
“……”
-You’re sleeping here, right? …Then let’s call a maid or servant first…”
“You promised me you’d tell me when I’m done eating.”
…He’s really amazing! The child asked, his lips trembling slightly.
Ellie, the mother of the child who was no longer alive, was in a dilemma.
‘Should I tell him the truth?’
Humans were creatures who did not tolerate stepping outside the framework they had set for themselves.
Ellie, who had seen the malice and hostility that poured out when this rule was not followed during her lifetime, was hesitant.
The fact that the child was the only one who was aware of her unseen existence was not entirely pleasant.
At first, she thought it was good that she wasn’t completely alone, but after understanding the situation to some extent…
‘…I think it would have been better if no one could see me.’
That’s right.
The way the child was being treated was not normal by any stretch of the imagination, and what if he saw a ghost on top of that?
‘Talking to the air…’
‘He saw the late duchess.’
‘No, come on. How can that be?’
‘And the Duke hasn’t been back to the mansion for years. There must be something wrong. That’s the only explanation.’
A sigh escaped her lips as she imagined the scene that would unfold without any effort.
Despite knowing what was being said behind her, Ellie couldn’t cover up everything. Especially now that she didn’t have a body, how could she possibly do it?
A child talking to himself in the air or A child muttering about his dead mother.
Ellie weighed which of the two was worse and made a decision. In fact, there was no need to look at it again.
-…I’m sorry, but I’m not your mother.
If the child were still young, it could be dismissed as an imaginary friend, but that wasn’t the case.
‘It’s a perfect rumor being labeled as mentally ill.’
The child had been separated from his parents almost as soon as he was born and had never been out of the annex, let alone the mansion.
No matter what the truth was, the environment surrounding the child was bound to make others see him that way.
…Since there was no adult to protect him, it couldn’t be good in many ways if bad rumors spread.
TL/N: for ppl who didn’t understand why she’s doing this cuz she doesn’t want rumors accusing her child of being mentally ill as he’s talking to his dead mother or would be seen as talking to himself.
She didn’t want to be a parent who blocked her child’s path in order to satisfy her own greed. Just as Ellie was thinking this, she tried to force a smile.
TL/N: “Her own greed” she meant that she certainly wanted to tell him that she’s his mother but couldn’t so bad rumors wouldn’t spread ;(
“Then… Why are you playing with me?”
-……
“Marie said that black hair is not very common…”
-Th, that’s…
As the child said, black hair was not common in the empire.
They weren’t nonexistent, but they were as rare as beans in a drought.
This was true even among the commoners, who were far more numerous, so among the nobles, black hair was almost unique to Ellie’s family, the Mason family.
But the four-year-old child in front of her didn’t seem to know that much.
Ellie lowered her head as he looked at the clothes she was wearing.
“…..”
Even at first glance, it was not the kind of clothes a commoner would wear.
It would be safer to play along rather than gamble. Ellie, who was looking for an excuse, quickly opened her mouth.
-In fact, your mother sent me here as a guardian angel, um…no, as a ghost!
“…….”
-I was also a member of the Mason family when I was alive, so maybe it’s because we look alike? And your mother’s family… so your grandparents are all black-haired too.
“……”
“So you’re not the only one who looks like me.”
-… yeah, that’s right…
Ellie, who was spreading her arms wide and performing with exaggerated enthusiasm, watched as the child nodded with a trembling expression.
She had failed.
Even at a glance, he looked suspicious.
Ellie tried to smile and roll her eyes at the story that even a four-year-old didn’t believe.
‘So what do you want me to do here? I knew I wasn’t good at composition even when I was in the Academy!’
That’s why Rutus could easily pass a class in one go, while I had to retake it twice, cramming for exams and assignments.
I was almost on the verge of failing because of that.
Even when I was given time to study and think, it was like that, so what could I expect from a story made up on the spot?
‘Ah, my mouth corners hurt.’
It was only when her fixed face, which was smiling, started to feel a little sore, that the child asked another question.
“Then, are you with me now?”
-…Huh?
“Because Mommy sent you…”
-…….
“……Or not…?”
Well, that’s right! Inside her head, Ellie screamed with joy as she positively answered the child who asked with a sullen face.
I don’t know how long I can stay in this state, but what will happen if I say yes?
I even thought about sneaking away when the child fell asleep!
I had the illusion that my heart, which had stopped, was pounding again. That’s how embarrassed I was.
“What’s your name?”
-Huh…?
“If you’re with me, you need to tell me your name. Or else I’ll have to keep calling you ‘ Hey, you over there’…”
-Ah….
She couldn’t tell him her usual nickname, because he might know it.
And Ellie wasn’t good at making names, so she couldn’t just make one up like she did before.
[Big brother, I want to raise this child.]
[… Ellie. I’ve said it so many times, we can’t raise moles in the mansion.]
[No! I’m going to keep him! Are you ignoring our Jalapeno right now, brother?]
[What’s that, uh…]
In the end, the mole Jalapeno ran away to the Mason family’s forest while Ellie was away for a snack. The culprit, as expected, was her family’s maid.
Recalling the incident from over 10 years ago, Ellie gave up. Creation was impossible after all.
-Lia. Call me Lia.
“Lia?”
-Yes. And the baby’s name is…
“…I don’t have a name.”
And you’re not a baby either. The child, who had deflated at Ellie’s words, bowed his head deeply.
Seeing his dejected look, I felt like my fists were about to cry.
‘I think I’d feel better if I punched Rutus’ forehead five times.’
But how can I do that, when there’s no body to punch with?
Ellie, who had never imagined that simply having a name would make her feel even more depressed about how the child was treated, once again met the child’s eyes and asked him.
-So… shall we decide on a temporary name for now?
“…Temporary?”
-Well, I mean a name to call you with until Daddy gives you one. That’s what we call temporary.
“Y-You’re going to give me one?”
Ellie smiled faintly at the child, who couldn’t hide his anticipation and raised his head with sparkling eyes.
Seeing him so visibly happy made her feel conflicted.
Originally, he should have been enjoying everything to the fullest, to a degree that would be incomparable to what he was experiencing now.
‘Technically, I didn’t come up with it just now.’
Ellie nodded and slowly opened her mouth.
[I decided on a nickname for our son.]
[Wait, you did that alone? …What about me?]
[Ah, just listen for now. I really struggled to come up with this, so don’t be weird. Really!]
[…What is it?]
-Adi.
Let’s call him Adi.
The child, who heard the name that meant he would grow up more nobly than anyone else, burst into laughter.
Under the moonlight that seeped in through the small, old attic window.
Ellie, checking the pale skin that shone faintly under the thin fabric, said to the child.
-Then it’s getting late, so let’s get ready now, shall we?
“Yes…”
Hee hee. The child, whose cheeks had flushed red, nodded and headed somewhere. It was a room on the second floor corridor.
Ellie, who followed the child into the room, looked around and realized.
So this is the room he was using.
The child, holding a pile of clothes that looked like pajamas, opened the door that was presumably the bathroom and spoke.
“I’m going to wash up, so don’t come in!”
-What wrong with getting inside?
“……! N-No, you can’t!”
Ellie, who had been watching the closed door with a smirk as she pretended to play along, put away the smile she had been wearing on her face.
She noticed that the clothes, meals, and even the maintenance of the place were so sloppy that they were close to being abandoned.
-…I can’t even believe he’s not properly equipped.
A four-year-old prince who personally picks out clothes and takes them into the bathroom. Does that make any sense?
TL/N: prince=Duke’s son
Ellie gritted her teeth. It should be obvious, but even after the child had washed up, changed his clothes, and returned to the attic, covered himself with a blanket, and lay down, she still couldn’t shake the feeling.
-Sleep well.
“Will you be here with me tomorrow too?”
-…….
“I’m sleepy… but if I fall asleep…”
The child, who had been trying to open his eyes with all his might, soon fell asleep again.
It was another fact that I didn’t know.
Ellie, who had been squatting by the bed and looking at the child’s sleeping face for a long time, muttered.
-…Can’t I just stay a little longer?
There are still so many things I don’t know. Shouldn’t I stay with him at least until Rutus comes back?
It couldn’t be good for a dead person to be with a living person. I knew that. But….
But….
Where is there a parent who would leave their child alone without hesitation?
Ellie hovered around the child’s bed until dawn, her body not needing food or sleep.
Then she shook her head and turned away.
‘I have to go. It can’t be good for me to be here. …What if strange rumors start circulating?’
I really didn’t want to see the child unhappy because of me.
I have to go somewhere, anywhere, and stay far away from the mansion. Ellie, who had made up her mind, took a step.
* * *
And exactly an hour later, she regretted her decision.
Why?
“Hmph, sniffle…! Lia, Lia, where did you go…! …Waaaah!”
The child, who had somehow woken up and climbed out of the attic, was crawling on the roof of the annex and crying loudly.
…Oh my god.
* * * *
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Poor child