Episode 99
Victoria said it wasn’t a coincidence that the temple recruited Theo into the Order of the Holy Knights. Theo is caught in the temple’s grasp and is nothing but bait to lure Lillian into the temple’s clutches.
— I’m afraid you shouldn’t trust him, he’ll put you in danger.
However, when Theo was actually in front of her, that warning didn’t have much effect. The reason was simple: Theo already knew the secret that Lillian feared the most.
If Theo had just informed the temple of it, Lillian’s situation would have been very different now. The temple wouldn’t miss such a good opportunity and would naturally have tried to drive Lillian away by letting Cedric know.
The fact was, Theo had long possessed the key to making Lillian dangerous.
How much can I trust Theo?
How far will Theo go for me?
How far can the temple push Theo with its implications?
Lillian recalled the conversation she had with Victoria.
— If your friend approaches you, it’s definitely because of the temple’s implications. You could get closer to the relic if you use it well.
— But you told me not to trust Theo.
— Don’t trust, but use. Anyway, we have to get closer to the relic. It means seize the opportunity.
Victoria’s words were right. At the moment, without knowing the location of the relic, there was nothing Lillian could do but try to infiltrate the temple alone. At least it seemed necessary to approach the temple or learn about it.
And there was someone very suitable for that right in front of Lillian.
The impulse to confess something mixed with the thought of using Theo. Lillian spoke with her lips stained with Theo’s embrace.
“Theo, I went to the reading club again.”
“What?”
Lillian felt Theo’s voice stiffen. She took a step back from Theo. As the warmth enveloping her face dissipated, Theo’s face appeared as rigid as his voice. The reopened distance and the cold breeze brushing against her cheeks seemed to bring her back to reality.
Avoiding eye contact, Lillian spoke.
“That madam told me how to get revenge on Swan.”
“So?”
“I’m going to do it. I told you. I came here to take Swan’s place.”
“And then what? What will happen after you’ve had your revenge?”
“I’ll leave.”
Since she would likely die as soon as she used the dagger without any chance of covering up the body, she would inevitably have to leave far away, beyond recall.
Lillian looked up. She saw Theo’s furrowed brow. Though it was the first time she had seen Theo’s gaze like that, it felt oddly familiar to her for some reason. Lillian could easily guess the reason.
Whenever she imagined confessing everything, Theo’s gaze of contempt always had that same look in her mind.
But now that she faced it, she understood. It was astonishment and anger. The gaze of contempt wasn’t as fiery as that.
“You’re leaving?”
Theo, as if finding her words unbelievable, coolly chuckled before asking
“Where are you going?”
“…”
There was no answer from Lillian. Theo laughed coldly as if she had expected that.
Lillian, who had lived with the determination to replace Swan, knew what would happen after Swan’s revenge was completed. Even without knowing the details, Theo could understand that Lillian’s “leaving” meant she would never see her again.
At moments like this, Theo felt abandoned. The time she spent miserably waiting for Lillian, who never left her mind, to come back felt pathetic.
Was nothing meaningful to Lillian without Swan?
“I’ve been curious for a while. Why are you so obsessed with revenge?”
“…Enough with the lecture.”
“It’s not a lecture, I’m genuinely curious. Have you ever wondered? Why did Swan ask you to live on her behalf?”
“What?”
Lillian furrowed her brow. It was something she had never considered odd.
She thought it must have been simply because Swan said so for her own sake. She thought it was only right to leave what should have belonged to Swan to her, and in return, she believed she had to sacrifice her life.
And Theo’s question struck deep into Lillian’s root beliefs.
“If Swan really cared about you, she wouldn’t have asked you to live on her behalf. She would have asked you to reveal the truth instead. Do you really think that dead child wanted you to devote your life to revenge?”
“…Don’t speak without knowing!”
“Think about it. Swan never asked you for revenge. She never asked you to sacrifice your life.”
“I don’t want to hear it!”
“Lillian!”
Theo grabbed both of Lillian’s arms firmly. Only then did Lillian realize she had been covering her ears like a madwoman.
“Listen. You’re not ten years old anymore. You’re past the age of throwing tantrums.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. Lillian closed her eyes, then slowly opened them. She saw Theo’s golden gaze. She also saw her own bewildered face reflected in it.
In a strange turn of events, she found herself being swayed by the words she had said to test Theo. Theo spoke while holding Lillian as if comforting her.
“Stop going to the reading club. It looks dangerous. And think for yourself.”
What Swan truly wished for from her.
* * *
Theo turned back with those words. Lillian stood there for a while, then slowly walked inside.
When she arrived at the mansion, the sun had completely set, and only sporadic lights illuminated the path.
Inside the mansion, dinner preparations were in full swing. As she headed to the dining room, Lillian thought absentmindedly.
‘Just until I got on the carriage, everything was clear.’
At that time, the only thought was vague: destroy the relic and finish her life as it was.
Naturally, she planned to organize everything in writing as soon as she returned to the mansion. If she destroyed the relic and died, she wouldn’t be able to reveal the truth orally.
But now that she had met Theo, she felt lost.
‘What did Swan really wish for from me?’
It was always the same. Living her life on behalf of Swan.
But Theo was right. It didn’t necessarily mean Swan’s revenge. Revenge was simply Lillian’s self-imposed mission and the price for what Swan left behind.
The biggest impact on Lillian’s firm beliefs was precisely this statement.
— If Swan really cared about you, she wouldn’t have asked you to live on her behalf. She would have asked you to reveal the truth instead.
There was no doubt that that was a much better approach. Swan was smart, and she could have thought of many ways to propose a deal using the secrets she had. In return, Lillian could have lived as a nobleman’s daughter or received sponsorship like other children in the orphanage.
If that were the case, Lillian wouldn’t have been so fixated on Swan’s death.
Swan, who even anticipated Cedric coming to the orphanage and left her diary, couldn’t have imagined only this much possibility.
‘But why did she ask me to live on her behalf?’
She couldn’t gauge what Swan truly desired.
However, she had no intention of giving up revenge now. A vow of silence was engraved on Lillian’s wrist, and she had the means to carry out revenge in her pocket.
After chasing the shadow of revenge for a long time, she couldn’t just give up because of this hesitation.
Then there was only one way.
— When foresight becomes possible, you can see someone you miss, and you can know what that person was thinking.
She had no choice but to find out what Swan wanted.
