Episode 97
Victoria, what kind of story does she have? Could there be any truth among the faces and names she presents? Unconsciously, Lilian tried to find similarities between Victoria’s face and those of Swan and Agnes, but gave up.
‘Victoria seemed to handle divine power.’
If so, her skill level would be high, and considering her long life as the daughter of the Moonlight, the face of “Victoria” must be fake. It was foolish even to try to find similarities with Swan’s face from such a face.
Nevertheless, Lilian’s habit of unconsciously searching for traces of Swan felt absurd to her as she got on the carriage.
‘I haven’t forgotten a thing.’
What else could I remember…?
Lilian leaned her head against the carriage window, closed her eyes, and murmured Swan’s name. Recalling it felt like a sigh or a lament. It felt like warmth was still by her side. It had been a habit for over a decade.
But inside the carriage, she was alone, and the only thing filling her empty hand for a decade was now a dagger that would end her, not Swan.
The dagger. Because she had held it for so long, the handle felt warm. Lilian looked down at the unfamiliar object with a familiar gaze. The dagger had no blade. So, until infused with divine power, it was a structure that couldn’t harm anything. At first glance, it could be mistaken for a paper knife. It was perfect for disguise. The problem was its disposable nature because it required risking one’s life.
‘Now, the task is clear.’
Lilian’s mind was more confused than ever, but the path ahead was clearer than ever. Isn’t it simple? Just go to the temple and break the crystal as Victoria said. Since all the tragedies that befell Swan originated from that crystal. The boundaries of revenge, which had been ambiguous, were now completely drawn.
Alone, the confusion in her mind slowly subsided. What remained after the sediment settled was one thing.
Swan.
Lilian closed her eyes, holding the dagger tightly. The warmth of the handle she warmed felt like someone else’s warmth. Now it felt unfamiliar, like when she held Swan’s hand every day when she was young.
‘Now I can avenge you, Swan.’
She had never imagined life would be this long. Although she had never thought she would end it in death, what did it matter? Lilian’s life had been dedicated to Swan alone.
Lilian didn’t need anyone else. She had never thought anyone else would love her besides Swan.
Even when she heard that Theo had fallen for the temple’s implication, Lilian was not greatly shocked. It was partly because there had been three years between them, but mainly because she had never thought Theo’s heart could compare to Swan’s.
‘If it weren’t for Swan, no one would love me like that.’
Of course, Cedric, Mary, and the people of Maynard had loved Lilian deeply.
But because they were only left by Swan, to Lilian, it felt like part of Swan’s love. Not individual love.
It was natural. If it weren’t for Swan, those people wouldn’t have been connected to Lilian for life. No, even if they were, it wouldn’t have been like now. Because Swan would have become the lady of this house and monopolized all the love. So all this love wasn’t hers, and all the love Lilian received in Maynard was no different from what Swan gave her.
‘So I have to repay you.’
Because you could die for me, I should be able to die for you.
If I die, would you welcome me then?
What if you find me unfamiliar because I’ve grown taller or my hair color has changed a lot?
Still, Swan, I’ve lived really hard for you.
I watched the play you wanted to see, and I listened to the song of Primadonna Kirie you wanted to hear.
The chandelier wasn’t as beautiful as a knight. You would have said it was too exaggerated if you had seen it. The mansion in Maynard was much prettier. There were far more running balls and more candlesticks.
I diligently tied ribbons you liked, and I ate desserts you liked. Now I can slice bacon well with a knife.
I got used to sleeping alone, and I can’t help crying when I think of you.
Sometimes I feel the bed is too wide. I miss the narrow bed where we slept tightly. But I know there are things that can’t be turned back. I know there is loneliness that no one can comfort.
I thought I would never be smarter than you, but I learned a lot and now maybe I’m smarter than you, Swan. Because I thought I had to learn so I could take your place.
So when we see each other again, tell me I’ve done a good job…….
Can we do that…
“…”
Lilian slowly raised her eyelids. The light reflecting off the window highlighted a thin stream of tears on her cheek. Lilian wiped away the tears expressionlessly.
‘Why am I crying?’
It’s not like I’m afraid of death, nor am I hesitant about revenge anymore.
The days when I missed Swan desperately have passed.
What can fill this occasional emptiness in my heart?
Perhaps the part inside my heart became empty when Swan died.
‘I need to calm down a bit.’
If I were caught with this expression by Mary or Cedric, they would surely express considerable concern, asking what happened. Even if I were caught by Nisha or Sally, I could reasonably cover it up, but even that wasn’t completely safe since Cedric might hear. It would calm down reasonably by the time I arrived at the mansion if I walked in from near the front gate.
Since the carriage was close to the main gate, Lilian called the coachman and stopped the carriage.
“Please stop here. I’ll walk from here.”
“Alright, miss. Wait a moment. There are people…”
“People?”
It’s late now, so apart from the guards, there shouldn’t be anyone.
As Lilian looked outside with a puzzled expression, she found herself doubting her own eyes.
The reason was simple.
“…Theo?”
He shouldn’t be here.
But no matter how wide she opened her eyes, the red hair she saw outside was undoubtedly Theo. He wasn’t even wearing his knight’s uniform. It meant he hadn’t come on official business.
‘Could it be because of the implication? Or because of Theo’s feelings?’
Either way, Lilian had no time to think deeply. She quickly got off the carriage and ran towards Theo.
“Theo!”
“Oh, Lilian. It was you after all. I thought it might be you. I’m lucky.”
“Stop the nonsense. What are you doing here?”
As Lilian got closer, Theo’s condition became clearer. He seemed to have stood for quite some time; his nose and cheeks were reddened by the cold wind. He must have waited outside without coming in. Lilian didn’t know which of Theo’s actions to point out, so she touched his forehead and blurted out the first question.
“If you called Stephen or Isaac, you could have come inside. Why were you here?”
“Yeah. I didn’t think about that.”
But the answer that came back was ridiculous.
“…What?”
“I didn’t think deeply about it. I thought I’d wait for a while and if it seemed like I wouldn’t see you, I’d go back.”
“So when did you come?”
“When was it…? It’s been quite a while since I heard the second clock tower bell in the afternoon…”
The clock tower bell rings every 3 hours. It means Theo waited for more than 3 hours.
Perhaps feeling it himself, Theo awkwardly scratched the back of his head without saying anything.
“I didn’t realize it had been this long. No wonder it felt cold, huh.”
Lilian was astonished at his imprudent behavior.
“What on earth did you come here for? What if I hadn’t gone out today? You were going to wait until sunset and then go back?”
“Anyway, I saw you.”
Theo replied curtly and subtly tugged at Lilian’s sleeve.
“I came because I missed you. That’s all.”
TL/N: I might have used different word for divine power ‘sanctity’ don’t worry that have the same meaning
