Episode 80
In fact, this was something Lillian had thought about countless times in her mind—revealing everything to Theo someday. However, Lillian usually didn’t open up for two main reasons. The first was the obligation not to reveal her true identity. And the second was the fear that if Theo knew everything, he might leave her.
‘The first reason is okay.’
After experiencing the recent Odile incident, Lillian realized that she could accept being called fake by Theo more calmly than she thought. Although being threatened by Odile’s appearance was an experience she couldn’t describe as pleasant in any way, the lesson she could learn from it was something positive.
And the second reason was a bit worrying…
“Theo.”
Responding to Lillian’s call, Theo, who had been looking out the window, turned his head. He sometimes responded by simply raising his eyebrows instead of answering when called, which made his slightly raised eyebrows look even more appealing.
“Aren’t you curious? You never ask anything.”
“What should I ask about?”
“Why Swan resembled the late Lady Maynard. What am I hiding.”
Theo blinked his eyes widely at the suddenly heavy topic and then, instead of answering, he asked a question.
“Why don’t you ask about that yourself?”
“Is there something I should ask about?”
“About, that. Geez, that!”
Theo finally burst out in frustration. Startled, Lillian blinked, but thanks to that, his intention was conveyed. Whether it was the look on Theo’s face or his gestures like awkwardly scratching his neck, Lillian could easily understand what he wanted to say.
“Did you… say you liked me?”
“Y-yes! You know that too!”
“That was because of the situation. I said it to match the situation. You know it wasn’t true.”
Although she intended to tease him later, she never took it seriously. When Lillian responded as if it were obvious, Theo’s expression quickly relaxed. No, it seemed more like he was dumbfounded. He chuckled, then seemed relieved, and finally, after roughly ruffling his own hair, he said:
“Hey, you’re really good at picking up on things like this. Do you do it on purpose, or are you just pretending not to know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“That wasn’t a lie.”
The carriage jolted. Lillian momentarily wasn’t sure if it was her who shook or the carriage, but she realized the truth a beat late.
“What… did I say?”
“That you like me, it’s true.”
* * *
“Miss, Miss! Where are you putting the sugar right now? It’s in the kettle!”
“Ah… sorry.”
Lillian snapped out of her thoughts at Sally’s words. No wonder the sugar didn’t seem to appear no matter how much she put in. Sally cleared away the kettle filled with piles of sugar and shook a fresh one.
“You seem distracted these days. Is something bothering you?”
“What’s bothering me… Well.”
What could possibly be bothering her if not being confessed to by someone she considered her closest and dearest friend, almost like a brother? Lillian briefly considered counseling with Sally, who was good at listening to the romantic troubles of young maids, then remembered that the crush of those young maids was usually Theo.
Everything had been a mess since that day.
‘Theo likes me.’
It was something she had never thought about before, much to Theo’s regret. To Lillian, Theo was, so to speak, like an older brother. More real than Cedric, even. He was someone she could tell anything to, remembering both her time in the orphanage and Swan’s existence.
Sometimes, Lillian felt fluttery emotions towards Theo, but she quickly dismissed them.
‘Theo wouldn’t think of me that way.’
Theo had many siblings. Being the eldest at Merryfield Orphanage, practically everyone there was his sibling. Lillian didn’t doubt that she might be one of them. No, she thought she was even farther from them now. After all, she was no longer at Merryfield Orphanage.
‘Besides, Theo is kind to everyone.’
Lillian knew that Theo had been quite popular even during his time at the orphanage. Of course, his fairly handsome appearance must have played a role, but most of the orphanage kids knew that despite his stern appearance, he was quite a kind person.
― Big Brother Theo seems to really like people, doesn’t he? Don’t you think so, Lillian?
― I don’t know. He looks fierce.
― The fiercer they look, the nicer they are. Look, lots of kids are gathered around him.
― Then Curtis must be the kindest person in the world.
Curtis was a stern-looking instructor at the orphanage, resembling a crow. Swan chuckled awkwardly at Lillian’s grumbling.
“Well… don’t think of it like that. Let’s talk about it when we have a chance. It might work out better than you think.”
Still, Lillian didn’t think she got along well with Theo.
She believed their connection from the orphanage continued into the present. So, she always crushed any seeds of romantic feelings. She simply didn’t have the luxury for that.
‘Swan is everything to me.’
Living a life in place of someone else, Lillian didn’t dare to dream of romance.
But somehow, if Theo was the one, she thought it might be okay. Then at least she could cuddle with him whenever she wanted.
Of course, Theo didn’t force Lillian for an answer. After seeing Lillian stiffen up after his confession, he chuckled dryly and said, “Just forget it. You don’t need to answer.”
She didn’t plan on dating Theo right away. But she wanted to let him know that being with him was nice. Perhaps it could be a way of repaying his courage.
Above all, Lillian finally resolved to confess everything to Theo.
‘If Theo likes me…’
Perhaps she could be forgiven a little if she revealed everything. Maybe Theo wouldn’t leave her.
Lillian still didn’t know how to escape from Swan, but she felt that with Theo by her side, she could eventually live without crying every time she thought of Swan. She felt like she wasn’t alone anymore.
As Theo recalled Lillian in Marnead Manor, Lillian found it difficult to think of Marnead Manor without Theo, having spent so much time together.
“Alright. Let’s talk.”
Lillian jumped up from her seat, hope shining in her green eyes.
For some reason, she had a feeling that everything would turn out fine.
* * 8
“Hey, Theo! Why can’t you pull yourself together? You’re losing focus here.”
“S-sorry! I’ll get back on track.”
Theo eventually took a hit on the back of his head and rushed to pick up the training sword. Despite the tingling sensation in the back of his head, he still felt like his mind was up in the sky.
‘Ah, damn.’
The reason was simple. He had confessed to Lillian yesterday.
Damn it, Theo Dor! You really screwed things up! There was no taking back what he had said. It was like spilled milk.
‘Why did I even do that? She already sees me as just a brother.’
No, if she didn’t see him as a brother, that would be a problem in itself. The scene where Cedric called him into the private meeting room flashed vividly in his mind. Trying to court a commoner’s knight who hadn’t even received his knighthood yet, aiming for a lady from a noble household? That was asking for a beating and getting kicked out.
“Plus, I still haven’t brought up that issue…”
“What issue?”
At that moment, a voice came from behind.
