Episode 47
What Damian was offering was a bracelet.
A bracelet adorned with emeralds and diamonds.
The meaning behind gifting jewelry and asking to dance the very first dance with an outsider was evident.
“Damian, is this… are you proposing to me?”
Lillian’s voice trembled as she spoke. Damian, who was looking down at her, hid his intentions and his eyes narrowed slightly.
“…It’s not that grand. The bracelet is an early birthday gift, so just accept it. You have more time to think about it.”
“Damian, wait—”
“I’ll go. See you next time.”
Lillian tried to hold Damian back, but he just gave a faint smile and quickly moved away with big strides.
It was an awkward situation to follow him at this point. Lillian, unknowingly, had to stand there and watch him disappear around the corner.
Her gaze, which had been staring into space, turned towards the jewelry box in her hand. It had a weight that felt as heavy as a mountain, even though it was feather-light.
‘I did think I might end up marrying Damian, but…’
For Damian to make this kind of request first. What could he be thinking? Was he motivated by a desire for the Maynard name, or was it due to his feelings for her?
‘Is he under pressure to get married back home?’
Come to think of it, Damian hadn’t talked much about himself.
What Lillian knew was mostly about Portieré, not much about Damian himself. Lillian didn’t even know if Damian had siblings or what his social relationships were like.
‘I should speak to Father first…’
“You’re quite popular, Lady.”
“Eek!”
As Lillian took a step, a whistling sound suddenly reached her ears.
Thanks to that, Lillian was startled to the point of losing her balance, but she didn’t actually fall.
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be so surprised. Are you okay?”
A strong arm supported Lillian from tilting.
Lillian’s sharp gaze, which was rarely seen these days, took on a hint of a malicious gleam. In the past, she might have had such eyes more often, but now it was a very rare occurrence. And about 99.9% of the credit for the surprise just now was attributed to the person on the receiving end of her glare.
In a slightly lowered octave, Lillian’s voice came out with a hint of scorn.
“Theodore…”
“Is it my fault that you’re so jumpy?”
“Well, you could have refrained from playing pranks in the first place!”
“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be this surprised. Ouch, it hurts!”
Thwap, thwap!
In one corner of the Maynard mansion, a scene unfolded. It was the sight of a noble young lady, who seemed like she wouldn’t even let a drop of water touch her, beating a tall, slender young man. But if you’ve been working for the Maynards for a while, you’ve probably seen this scene several times, so no one paid much attention as they passed by.
The fact that Theodore, the youngest member of the Maynard Knights, and Lillian, the most precious presence in this house, were very close was a well-known story within the mansion.
And everyone knew that no matter how hard Lillian tried to beat him, Theodore, who rolled on the training grounds like a piece of stone every day from harsh training, could only take it to the extent of being gently tapped with a cotton ball.
Except for Lillian alone.
“Hey, It really hurts.”
“Don’t be such a drama queen. It doesn’t hurt.”
“Really? Look at this, it’s turning red. If I hit you a bit more, it will bruise. How can you, with your small frame, hit so hard with your hand? Ouch, oh…”
Thanks to Theodore pretending to be in pain like this, Lillian would subtly ease her angry gaze after glaring for a while to see if he was serious.
“…Is it hurting a lot?”
When he said this, it meant his anger had completely subsided. Theodore took this opportunity to change the subject swiftly.
“Well, it does hurt a lot. So, are you going to accept it?”
“Accept what?”
“Are you engaged? Will you accept it?” Theodore asked.
Upon hearing this, Lillian’s expression slowly relaxed.
“I didn’t say it’s an engagement.”
“Do you believe that?”
Theo patted the crumpled places he got beaten as he spoke.
“Just accept it, then. After all, it seems that the Duke is considering you and that Lord San for marriage. You’re better off with someone you know than with a stranger, right? Everyone says that it’s a good match if you’re with him.”
For some reason, Lillian stared at the jewelry box and then raised her gaze to look at Theodore.
And suddenly, she asked a question.
“Do you want me to marry Damian?”
“…Huh?”
Theodore was at a loss for words, seemingly not expecting this question. However, Lillian continued as if she wasn’t looking for an answer in the first place, or it was just a murmured thought.
“Swan would probably have married Damian, I think. The two of them looked alike.”
An ominous feeling passed through Theodore’s spine.
* * *
In the past, there was an incident where Theodore had said something similar to Lillian as he walked by.
“You really like ribbons. You weren’t really into that kind of thing before, were you?”
“I don’t really like them. They’re hard to tie, and it’s bothersome.”
“But why do you wear them?”
“Because Swan probably would have liked them.”
A response that sounded obvious, but he couldn’t find words to describe the indescribable feeling that he had. Goosebumps? No, that simple and foreign feeling was not enough to describe it. However, there was still no way to deny that it was the closest expression to that feeling.
It seemed as if Lillian was imitating Swan when she wanted to. Just like a duck imitating a swan.
She looked like she wanted to be Swan, or maybe she still believed Swan was alive. Theodore couldn’t understand that obsession at all. No matter how close she had been to Swan, when on earth did that happen?
“…I know you talk about Swan at the end of your sentences, but how long are you going to keep doing that? She’s been dead for several years. Isn’t it time to let her go?”
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
But the response she received was unproductive.
“Do you think that losing an arm will make you cease to be yourself?”
“…What?”
“I’m asking. Do you think that if you lose an arm, you won’t be Theodore anymore?”
“I highly doubt that. But Swan—”
“Exactly.”
With that, Lillian closed her mouth, signaling her unwillingness to continue the argument.
It was only then that Theodore grasped Lillian’s issue.
Lillian lost something too early, something that was too big and too close to her.
“It would have been better if Swan had died when I was a bit older.”
Because it was a death experienced during childhood, Swan’s death wasn’t someone else’s death for Lillian. It was her own loss and a permanent deficiency.
Lillian remained silent while leaning on Theodore for a long time before speaking.
“Theo. I don’t dream of Swan very often now. Sometimes I even forget her face. I used to write down everything I remembered about her, but I’ve burned most of those notes because I couldn’t remember many details.”
“…Lillian.”
“The reason I’m here is because of Swan, and I can’t afford to forget her. I need to be the one to remember her.”
Lillian was crying. Theodore didn’t fully understand what had affected her like this.
He couldn’t entirely comprehend her words.
“I don’t want everyone to forget Swan. If I forget Swan, it seems like no one will remember her, not even you. It’s so frightening. A world where Swan doesn’t exist is just too strange.”
Lillian had been with Swan from the very first moment, at least according to what the teachers said when they were in the orphanage and the nursery. They had been together from the very beginning.
‘Is imitating Swan Lillian’s way of coping with loneliness?’
In reality, Theodore wanted to say something. Swan was dead, and she didn’t exist anymore.
So, even if it felt strange, she had to adapt.
However, if he were to bring up this fact, it seemed as if this young girl would collapse, exactly as if she were shattered. The lady of this grand mansion, who enjoyed everything and received so much love, was so lonely.
‘If it were me, every day would be joyful.’
Theodore remained by her side with a sense of confusion.
When Lillian felt lonely, it seemed as if there was a place for him, even in this vast mansion.
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