Episode 109
After Lilian entered the building to find the platinum chalice, Theo kept watch in front of it.
It was their agreement to leave after five minutes, but Theo had no intention of keeping that promise from the beginning. No, strictly speaking, Theo didn’t think Lilian was in her right mind.
‘If she were in her right mind, she wouldn’t make such a promise.’
Lilian was usually excessively rational. Except for her obsession with Swan, she didn’t rush into judgments about anything. Perhaps that aspect had been what supported Lilian up until now.
But today was different. No, it had been since yesterday. Since yesterday, when she mentioned the absurd plan to infiltrate the temple.
―Theo, you can wait here for a while and then go back. It’s not like I know the way out either. Once we find the platinum chalice, you don’t have to stay with me.
―What? What are you talking about? Leave you here alone?
―I can’t risk you getting heavily involved while helping me. It means you should leave at the right moment.
As Theo was walking ahead when she said this, Lilian couldn’t see his expression. It was fortunate. If she could, she would have seen Theo’s astonished face clearly.
‘Does she even know what she’s saying?’
Is it appropriate to tell someone who is risking their life to help you to leave?
In the end, Theo waited for only five minutes before agreeing to leave. Then Lilian said with a sigh,
―Fine. If you feel it’s too dangerous, you can go back immediately.
Theo was seething with frustration, sincerely wanting to ask.
‘Do you think I’m the kind of person who would leave you alone in a place like this?’
If it weren’t for this tense situation, he would have grabbed Lilian and asked. No, in fact, Theo wanted to ask countless times.
What am I to you?
Am I just someone you can use and discard whenever you need, after always being so willing to help?
‘Damn it, I’m going to die of stupidity.’
In the end, Theo kicked the ground and messed up his hair in frustration. He kept having futile thoughts while waiting for Lilian in front of the building.
‘When did I ever expect anything in return for helping her…’
Of course, he didn’t expect anything in return. But it would be a lie to say he didn’t wish for anything.
What Theo wished for was for Lilian to break free from Swan’s shadow. And if he could wish for something more, it would be to see her smile.
‘But why do you say things that trouble people?’
Theo frowned and put his hand inside his collar. A transparent bead attached to a string came out.
Lilian might not remember, but this was what she gave to Theo before leaving the orphanage.
— What’s this?
— It was in the director’s office. It might not be worth much, but it could cover your fare when you leave.
Despite Lilian’s words, it didn’t seem like it was such a valuable item.
Two transparent crystals about the size of a coin.
Lilian gave one crystal to Theo, keeping the other for herself.
— We’re both penniless orphans if we leave here. So.”\
— Why are you suddenly giving me this? Is this some kind of camaraderie?
— What do you take me for?
— An uncommonly bad-tempered person.
— Look in the mirror, uncommon.
Lilian’s sharp response matched Theo’s evaluation, but strangely, it felt rather pleasant to him.
Two penniless orphans secretly sharing two cheap crystals.
Lilian, who acted like she didn’t need anything except Swan, gave him something for himself, not Swan.
That fact felt especially significant for some reason.
Since that day, Theo never once removed the crystals from his body.
At first, he tucked them inside his clothes, but after coming to Mainard, he asked Stephan to string them and wore them around his neck.
‘Lilian might not even remember this.’
It was somewhat okay. Unilateral feelings were something Theo had been accustomed to since the moment he was abandoned by his mother.
Perhaps that’s why, even when his heart was troubled, holding the crystals seemed to calm his emotions a bit. They had been his companion for the past three years.
But today, it wasn’t very effective.
“…Damn it.”
Theo muttered curses as he tucked the crystals back into his pocket.
It was all backfiring. He wanted to forget Lilian’s words, but they kept resurfacing.
Moreover, the feeling of something being off just wouldn’t leave his mind.
‘While it.’
Had there ever been a time as strange as today?
Theo realized that what he was feeling now was frustration and anxiety.
He had stepped forward to help, but it was rather disappointing to be told to leave first. What he wanted was not a suggestion to leave because it might be dangerous, but a promise to come out within five minutes safely.
‘I’ve never experienced anything like this before.’
Theo had never felt frustrated in his conversations with Lilian.
Of course, part of it might be because Theo didn’t have many desires, but mostly, it was because Lilian treated Theo so specially. Theo could confidently say that no one knew Lilian as well as he did.
And in Theo’s eyes, Lilian seemed different today.
Was it just nerves? No, it was more than that.
‘Like she’s hiding something…’
Theo’s thought abruptly stopped.
There were two reasons for it.
The first was because he had come to a realization.
Just before Lilian entered the building to find the platinum chalice, Theo grabbed her and said,
— Don’t linger in the past too long, Lilian. Remember, I’m waiting for you.
Lilian made a complicated expression at his words. It was faintly smiling, yet also frowning.
— Theo, you… always ask me to come back.
Thank you.
With that, Lilian let go of Theo’s hand without giving him a chance to ask what it was for.
Theo simply thought it was just an expression of gratitude.
But what if it meant the opposite?
“Five minutes have already passed.”
Lilian, who seemed determined to send him away, and the ambiguous expression of gratitude.
Theo felt like he might know what Lilian was hiding.
At the same time, the second reason for his halted thought approached him. The sacred light illuminated Theo, who was pale with fear.
“Theodore? What are you doing here?”
Theo’s eyes shifted towards the light. His body froze, and his eyes moved first. Fortunately or unfortunately, he knew who was speaking.
“…Chief Acolyte Kayden.”
Kayden, the Chief Acolyte. Well-known for his kindness to many, including Theo, and considered trustworthy among those few people who Theo shared his concerns with.
Unlike some corrupt priests, Kayden truly had excellent character.
He was the textbook example of a priest who didn’t turn away from those in danger and spent his weekends doing volunteer work. Moreover, his exceptional sacred power was one of the reasons many admired him.
Was it because of that? Or was it because of the sudden feeling of impending danger that enveloped him?
Theo’s mouth opened involuntarily.
“Can you… help me?”
Cold sweat ran down his spine. His hands trembled. The impossibility of rational thought was felt literally. Amidst the palpable fear, like he could vomit at any moment, was a clear sense of dread.
Theo had never experienced such overwhelming fear in his life.
“My friend, my friend… might die.”
It was the terror of loss.
