Episode 100
That night. Lillian couldn’t fall asleep until late.
And on nights when Lillian couldn’t sleep, she usually went to one place.
The library of Duke Maynard’s estate.
This place, filled with countless ancient books whose years could not be discerned, was perfect for forgetting time and thoughts. Moreover, the fact that it was not frequented by people much was one of the factors that appealed to Lillian. However, tonight was different.
When she arrived at the library, the lamps were already lit. As she set down the candlestick she brought, Lillian’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Dad?”
“…Lillian.”
Cedric, who was sitting by the window, raised his head at the sound of her voice. He glanced reflexively at the clock, and his tone turned sour.
“It’s late to be reading books.”
“I couldn’t sleep. Why are you here, Dad?”
“For the same reason as you. Maybe because you grew up under me, our actions seem similar.”
As Cedric closed the book, he seemed a little awkward. It was understandable. Except for the time when Lillian shared a room with Cedric in her early childhood, she had rarely seen Cedric’s private side. Cedric was always busy, and even Lillian, busy with her late education, had hardly enough time to interact with each other.
Moreover, the three-year gap in Lillian’s life after the Odile incident was evident even though it wasn’t directly mentioned.
Cedric always found that fact somewhat unpleasant.
I regret not having taken the opportunity to leave at a more leisurely pace.
Unknowingly, Lillian had kept her distance from Cedric since the Odile incident. It might have seemed the same to others, but there was definitely a sense of distance felt by Cedric. To put it bluntly, Lillian had given up on being fully accepted by Cedric as his daughter.
Of course, Cedric didn’t mind if Lillian wasn’t his real daughter, and he considered her as part of his family. However, for Lillian, Cedric was no longer like that. Lillian might think differently, but it was undoubtedly a clear reality for a child.
— I understand Dad. I don’t want to resent you. You know what’s visible but you have to pretend like you don’t know.
Yet Lillian spoke about it like this. Of course, she didn’t say it directly to Cedric.
It was an answer to Mary’s indirectly probing question.
There was no hint of expectation in the seemingly generous words. Not even a hope that Cedric would one day truly accept her as family, or that she could become the real daughter of this house.
That’s why Cedric couldn’t stop Lillian from leaving.
— Your Grace, are you really going to send Miss away like this? Even if you take care of her a little more, it wouldn’t be too much… There are things that can’t be undone if not done now. You know that.
— Of course, I do. But I feel like what Lillian needs is not me right now.
Lillian was naturally a guarded child. Indifferent to others, with a corner so desperate it was eerie. Such a child didn’t easily approach others. In fact, Lillian rarely initiated conversations while staying at the Maynard estate.
‘She never even asked about her own future before joining the academy.’
But now that this had happened, Lillian’s sense of distance would have only increased. This was a distance that Cedric, no matter how much he tried to give, couldn’t narrow. It was a certainty gained from raising Lillian over the years.
— Lillian has grown a lot, she probably needs time to think for herself. Since she always liked being alone, I thought I’d give her space and time. If she wants, she can come back anytime.
No matter how much Cedric tried to give, Lillian would have accepted it as actions stemming from guilt. Perhaps with enough distance and time, there would come an opportunity to narrow the relationship with Lillian.
But Cedric was feeling lost, especially now that Lillian had returned. He looked at his daughter, who had grown significantly over the past three years, with a complicated gaze. She still appeared to him as the guarded girl who had come to the mansion with her hair barely reaching her ears. Such a daughter had recently lost even more of her laughter.
‘Is it because of marriage pressure… or is there another reason?’
Cedric recalled what Isaac had told him.
— Theodore was standing outside for a long time, so I left him alone. I thought he had some business, but… he seemed to keep waiting for Miss. He still seemed quite familiar with her.
— … Lillian cried?
— Yes. I saw him wiping her tears after the hug. Of course, since Theodore has joined the Knights, there doesn’t seem to be a need to worry about his intentions, but still, it’s better to be cautious…
— Forget it. Make sure this matter doesn’t spread.
Isaac’s perception of Theodore and Lillian’s relationship was not very pleasant, but Cedric had no time to care about such things. The information he received was a big shock to him.
‘Lillian cried…’
Even though she didn’t tell me and didn’t show it.
Hugging Theodore and showing her tears?
The distance between Lillian and Cedric felt clearer than ever. Moreover, it was greatly regrettable that Theodore, who was no longer affiliated with the Maynard, couldn’t be ordered around as freely as before.
Because of this, Cedric was deeply troubled. At such times, he always missed his wife.
‘Agnes might have been able to come up with a wise answer.’
Agnes was thoughtful for her age, and sometimes spoke as if she knew everything about others.
Perhaps that’s why. Agnes gave off a feeling similar to when she read old books.
Lillian’s gaze fell on Cedric’s fingertips. It was a book that Lillian had read in the past.
“Sometimes I thought the books were arranged differently, and it was you.”
“Even if I’m not having trouble sleeping… when I want to understand the minds of the dead, I come here. I never knew anyone else was looking for me too.”
“Are you talking about Duchess Agnes?”
“Yes. She was a wise person. Her words never missed the mark.”
Lillian had heard a lot about the deceased Lady Agnes, the duchess. It wasn’t too difficult to gather information about her, considering she spent more time as a knight of the Maynard than as the Maynard duchess. If there was a common evaluation, it was that she was very cheerful, kind, and wise.
— Perhaps, if her relatives hadn’t come when she married Your Grace, I couldn’t have imagined such a family history. She was really lively and lovely. Many knights secretly admired her even within the Order. People keep their mouths shut when I mention this story, as it might be overheard by Your Grace.
— You always managed to predict the weather so accurately. It was a perfectly sunny day, but you told me to hurry and hang the laundry before the rain comes. Even though your knees were hurting. Our mother, who never complained even when her shoes hurt, didn’t say anything about her knees, so I left it alone. But there was a day when she threw away all the laundry. And she always found lost items, and if a problem arose, she solved it quickly. I thought she was a very lucky person in every way.
Listening to the stories, it seemed she belonged to the category of ‘wise person’ or ‘intuitive person’, but upon reflection, Lillian felt she might be able to understand why Agnes could solve problems so easily.
‘Because the Duchess… was the daughter of the Moonlight!’
