Episode 34

 

In this dream world, Lilian’s position was clear.

 

A friend from the nursery school who was brought in by a missing Lady.

 

In the eyes of others, she might appear to be Swan’s personal servant or companion. It wasn’t uncommon for rich households to have their own playmates or attendants.

 

And this was the most optimistic form of Swan and her future that Lilian could imagine.

 

‘Swan must have known that she would be adopted into a noble family someday.’

 

When that time came, she would undoubtedly have to part ways, and if there was any future they could share, it would only be possible if Swan took Lilian as her personal servant. However, even that would require significant luck, as it was uncertain how much a noble household would do for an adopted daughter.

 

So, assuming Swan was alive, this was the world where the story had the best outcome.

 

In other words, it was like a clichéd fairy tale ending.

 

‘Having found her lost parents, the princess met a handsome prince and lived happily ever after in everyone’s love.’

 

Lilian ended the story with this trite fairy tale sentence.

 

‘I knew this day would come someday.’

 

She swore to herself that Swan would one day be magically happy, and she had no doubt about it.

 

An adorable child like Swan couldn’t be anything but happy.

 

She believed that after going through the current sadness and pain, the summer days filled with the lively sound of cicadas would await her, occupying all her complaints.

 

And right before Lilian’s eyes, those days were unfolding.

 

‘… But why do I feel so strange?’

 

Surely, my beloved Swan is right in front of me, smiling happily.

 

Yet, Lilian felt as if she had lost Swan.

 

The reason was simple. To Lilian, there was only Swan, but to Swan, it wasn’t the same.

 

Both Lilian and Swan were young. Naturally, Lilian had many childish desires, and when she was younger, she envied what Swan had. Like any child in the orphanage, Lilian couldn’t help feeling jealous of Swan.

 

But despite that, Lilian could not hate Swan, and there was one reason for that.

 

Because Swan loved Lilian.

 

Whenever the two of them argued, Swan was always the first to approach her again.

 

— Lilian… Take this hairpin. It’s yours.

 

— I don’t need it. The Director bought it for you. Why are you giving it to me? You wanted it too.

 

— But I like you more than the hairpin. Without you, I don’t need anything.

 

The Director was always devoted to Swan. So even though Swan could have anything she wanted just by deciding to, she never asked the Director for anything, even when she saw Lilian envying her possessions.

 

Even though she knew she came from a wealthy family and had a high status, and even though she knew she could run away to Maynard from here anytime.

 

Instead of going to Maynard, Swan chose to die at Maryfield Orphanage.

 

To Swan, it was a matter of course. Lilian was at Maryfield Orphanage.

 

And Lilian also knew that. She was everything to this child, as if she was created by God’s love.

 

As long as that fact remained, she didn’t care if people around her gossiped about her as “the princess’s servant” or if the Matron punished her instead of Swan. She didn’t feel lonely even when locked up in solitary confinement. Whenever Lilian received a punishment, Swan would always sit in front of the solitary cell and talk to her.

 

In the world of these two girls, there was only the two of them.

 

In that small shadow, Swan loved Lilian, and Lilian thought that was enough.

 

Until Swan let go of her hand and stepped out of the shadow.

 

‘Now Swan is gone.’

 

Then, what am I supposed to live for?

 

Everything good here belonged to Swan: Cedric and Mary, Damian, the luxurious environment, and even herself.

 

‘I have nothing.’

 

Actually, it was okay for her to have nothing. She never wanted any of these things, so she was fine without them.

 

There was only one thing she wanted.

 

Swan.

 

‘I only needed you.’

 

But Swan left. In the world where only the two of them were tightly together, Lilian was left alone.

 

In a space as empty as the absence of one person, Lilian sobbed in loneliness. Each time she felt the void, she cried as if her heart was being torn apart, feeling physical pain.

 

Will this void ever be filled again? Everything in front of me belongs to Swan. Will there be a day when something is also granted to me, who has nothing?

 

‘Swan, even without you…’

 

Will there be someone who loves me?

 

* * *

 

Lilian opened her eyes. Darkness filled her vision, and she felt her eyes and cheeks were damp with tears.

 

As she blinked, tears streamed down her cheeks.

 

But before she could fully realize it, she heard a voice from beside her.

 

“You’re awake.”

 

Lilian’s gaze turned towards the voice, and there was a person sitting next to the bed.

 

Even though it was a dark room, the person appeared unusually distinct.

 

The reason was simple. The person had silver hair that looked like white hair, which could easily show his presence even in the darkness with a faint light.

 

“…Damian?”

 

Calling out his name, Lilian slowly sat up, and Damian smiled lightly.

 

The boy who rarely smiled widely seemed like a painting within a frame or an angel in a scripture. The harmony of his transparent, rosy skin, neatly covered forehead, and bright white hair along with his kind and gentle smile created such an illusion.

 

Seeing him like that, the image of him just before losing consciousness came to Lilian’s mind.

 

“I came to help.”

 

The one who said that was definitely Damian.

 

“Is your body okay?”

 

“…Yes. You helped me?”

 

“You asked for help, right? Fortunately, the culprit was caught. Thanks to that, I also ended up spending a night here. I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried.”

 

Unknowingly, Lilian looked at Damian in a daze before quickly wiping her eyes.

 

“How did you come here?”

 

“I sneaked in. Just to see you.”

 

“You sneaked in? How?”

 

“It wasn’t that difficult. Maybe it’s because I’m known for being a bit of a troublemaker even in our house.”

 

He said he came because he was worried after hearing that she might be having a nightmare, and Damian spoke kindly.

 

His appearance overlapped with the Damian in her dream.

 

-I don’t make friends with maids.

 

That’s what Damian said, being only kind to Swan.

 

‘This kid is strange.’

 

Even though he heard unpleasant words, he wanted to be friends with her. Moreover, he worried and came to find her in the middle of the night. Lilian knew she should thank him, but different words blurted out.

 

“…You go this far because you want to be friends with me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Why? Is it because I’m one of the house residents?”

 

“No, it’s because I like you.”

 

“Lies.”

 

You’re interested in the girl they brought from Maynard, maybe the girl who might become a lady.

 

You’re not interested in me.

 

I might be here, but I’m not the owner of this place. You’ll lose interest in me once you realize that fact.

 

Just like in the dream.

 

The words she couldn’t utter stabbed her throat painfully.

 

Lilian frowned, but Damian’s expression remained unchanged.

 

As if Lilian’s sharp words were directed towards herself.

 

Instead, Damian took something out from his embrace and held it out to her.

 

“Is this yours? I picked it up beside you.”

 

It was the folding knife Lilian had when she fought against the kidnapper.

 

She hadn’t even thought about it, but Damian picked it up.

 

“Here, take it.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Lilian’s eyes widened as she reached out to take the knife, and Damian smiled faintly.

 

“Lilian, I thought you were amazing. You fought against an adult until the end.”

 

“…It’s not that impressive. In the end, I fainted.”

 

“Courage is important. Not anyone can do what you did.”

 

Saying that, Damian bowed his head and closed the distance between them.

 

At close range, Lilian could see the glimmer in Damian’s eyes.

 

“I like you, Lilian.”

 

“…Regardless of my status?”

 

“Even if you’re someone else’s daughter.”