Episode 104

“At the very least, from what I’ve seen, the Grand Duke looks like someone who can’t live without you.”

“……”

“Well, of course, I can’t presume to know his true feelings,” Nella added with a quiet laugh.

I had known Nella since childhood, and she was exceptionally perceptive.

Even the other servants often admitted they couldn’t fool her keen eyes.

‘He looks like he can’t live without me?’

Just what exactly had happened while I was unconscious?

When I had woken up, Ludwig had looked tired, but aside from the relief in his eyes and the worry in his voice, he had acted no differently than usual.

As I sat there, deep in thought, puzzling over this mystery, Nella chuckled and clapped her hands together.

“It’s time for you to sleep now. You can ponder it tomorrow—rest comes first.”

“…Yeah.”

Dragging myself up, I shuffled to bed and flopped down onto the mattress.

As she had done since I was a child, Nella pulled the blanket up to my chin and spoke in a soft voice.

“Sweet dreams, my lady.”

Then, she quietly turned off the lights and left the room.

The night was dark and silent, yet my eyes remained wide open.

‘How am I supposed to sleep after hearing something like that…?’

I felt a faint heat creeping up my cheeks.

In truth, aside from Ludwig and me, practically everyone else had their own opinions about our relationship.

It was a regular occurrence for us to be featured in the gossip columns of the Imperial Gazette, and at every banquet, curious gazes followed us.

Yet, we, the actual people involved, had never thought much of it.

We had always treated each other the same way we always had.

But…

‘Now that I think about it, maybe I’ve just gotten too used to it.’

Somewhere along the way, Ludwig’s kindness, his casual touches, his gentle voice—all of it had become completely natural to me.

From an outsider’s perspective, his actions were more than enough to be misunderstood.

That realization left me feeling oddly unsettled.

‘Since when…?’

Since when had Ludwig Karsian become so deeply embedded in my life?

The confusion inside me refused to settle.

Even I had to admit that Ludwig treated me differently than he did others.

Warm, affectionate, kind—those weren’t words one would usually associate with Ludwig Karsian.

‘Could he actually… like me?’

That thought hit me like a bolt of lightning.

I immediately groaned and covered my face with both hands.

“Get a grip.”

Getting ahead of myself was the worst thing I could do.

Even though most of my past life’s memories had faded, one lesson remained burned into my soul.

I had learned the hard way just how foolish it was to throw my heart away on my own, mistaking kindness for something more.

[God, she was such an idiot. Just because I was a little nice to her, she actually thought I liked her.]

[Yeah, I was shocked when she suddenly confessed to you. But really, you had no interest at all? You guys ate together all the time and studied together, didn’t you?]

[I only ate with her because she always paid. And the studying? I just wanted access to her top-grade notes.]

[Still, don’t you think that was too much? She was barely scraping by with scholarships and part-time jobs, and yet, she spent all her money on you.]

[Too much? She followed me around on her own.]

An old memory, long buried, resurfaced, souring my mood instantly.

Right. That trash had left me with an unforgettable lesson.

[I hate people like her the most—pathetic, desperate, struggling to survive because they have nothing.]

[Wasn’t she from an orphanage? Though she had parents, she cut ties with them, right?]

[Yeah. Her face was decent, but with that kind of background? No thanks.]

[No wonder she was so obsessed with being top of the class.]

[I mean, she even studied while walking. It was honestly creepy.]

Had I not slapped the back of his head that day, I probably would’ve carried that grudge for life.

Maybe I really had been an idiot back then.

It was the first time someone had been that kind to me. The first time I had experienced such warmth.

I was foolish enough to cherish even a single shared meal, despite struggling to pay rent.

And the man who had constantly joked, touched my hands so easily, and even whispered sweet nothings?

He never confessed.

Because, as it turned out, he already had a girlfriend.

‘Even just remembering it pisses me off…’

Of course, Ludwig was nothing like that bastard. Their situations were completely different.

Even so, I couldn’t help but feel a little afraid.

That ingrained fear—the belief that if I didn’t get my hopes up, I wouldn’t get hurt—had become a trauma, lodged deep inside me.

As the jerk’s face flashed through my mind, I smacked my pillow a few times in frustration.

That was when a familiar voice suddenly echoed around me.

[There’s no need to ask how you’re doing. You look perfectly healthy.]

“Huh?!”

I whipped my head around.

As expected, I was alone in the room.

There was no one else here.

It was the spirit.

I wasn’t imagining it—he had been appearing much more frequently these days.

[Why? Do you find it unpleasant?]

“No, that’s not it…”

We had only met a few times, but strangely, he felt familiar—like someone I had known for a long time.

[It’s only natural. The Dissel lineage has always had a strong affinity with me. That aside… I should apologize first. It seems I was the reason you collapsed.]

“What? What do you mean?”

[There are two ways I can manifest in the human world. One is through the spirit stone—that necklace—where I communicate through voice. The other… is by materializing in physical form.]

The spirit’s voice sounded somewhat sheepish.

[The latter consumes a significant amount of the summoner’s strength compared to the former. I unknowingly attempted to materialize that time. I didn’t realize how fragile your body was…]

Wait. Did that mean the excruciating pain I felt back then was because the spirit had tried to materialize?

[…I apologize.]

“So right now, you’re speaking through the spirit stone?”

[Yes. It’s safe this way, so don’t worry.]

As if trying to slip it in casually, he added:

[If you make a contract with me, I’ll be able to materialize freely. You wouldn’t have to sacrifice any of your strength.]

“And what do I get in return?”

[You’d gain the ability to wield my immense power as you please.]

“…That’s… not very tempting.”

If I accepted that power, I would undoubtedly be burdened with an incredibly troublesome role.

“Besides, isn’t my body too weak to even form a contract right now?”

The spirit let out a reluctant sigh, as if I had hit the mark.

[That’s true… You’re too weak. I knew humans were fragile, but it’s honestly a wonder you’re even walking around.]

“Exactly. So forming a contract is out of the question.”

[You just need to cure that damned disease. You already found a way, didn’t you?]

“I’m not certain yet. I can think about it after I’m cured.”

Not that I planned to make a contract even then.

Spirits were undoubtedly powerful, but I had no need for such strength.

The spirit muttered softly to himself, almost as if reminiscing.

[That child wasn’t this bold…]

“Huh? What did you just say?”

[Nothing.]

I tilted my head in confusion. That child—was he talking about my mother?

[More importantly, take this.]

With those words, something suddenly dropped onto my thick blanket with a soft thud.

My vision, now accustomed to the darkness, immediately recognized what it was.

[I figured you’d be looking for it.]

It was none other than the ancient book.

“Did you have this all along?”

[Yes. Your consciousness got trapped inside it, and it took some effort to pull you out.]

“My consciousness… was trapped inside?”

[That book isn’t ordinary. It contains an ancient magic that allows one to step into its scenes. Over the centuries, the magic has weakened significantly, but I must have interfered by trying to materialize.]

At last, everything made sense.

The reason I collapsed. The reason I had that dream.

In short…

“This was all because of you.”

[Ahem…]

Well, at least I had confirmed the exact location of the fruit.

As that thought crossed my mind, another question arose.

“By the way… you remember her, don’t you? Lady Tias.”

The Tias I had seen had fought across the battlefield under the spirits’ blessing.

She had wielded golden light, reigning as the goddess of war—a sight so radiant I couldn’t forget it.

The spirit fell silent for a moment before finally speaking, his voice tinged with something almost wistful.

[Of course… How could I ever forget? Not even for a single moment.]

 

 

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