Side Story Chapter 3

But Deon delivered some disheartening news.

“You won’t be able to leave anyway. They’re predicting an unprecedented blizzard.”

I sprang up from my seat.

While I had dozed off, snow had piled up thickly along the roads. The transparent greenhouse was so covered in white that the inside was barely visible.

The fountain, the statues, even the gravestone placed to one side—all were buried in snow.

As he said, returning by carriage today was out of the question.

Maybe not even tomorrow or the day after.

The streets of the capital would be cleared by the maintenance workers, but the roads leading to the coast would turn into ice.

The carriage could only travel once the snow had melted.

This was why I had hoped the carriage wouldn’t break, but of all times, it did.

Touching the frozen window, my fingers turned red from the cold.

Deon approached and handed me a warm teacup to warm my reddened fingers.

“Take the pass now. This might happen again.”

“If I carry that, what kind of stories will people spread?”

“Who would dare say anything?”

His eyes flashed with a cold intensity. Not wanting to get anyone else in trouble, I quickly changed the subject.

“Well… At least one person would like it.”

I thought of Lady Elizabeth, who eagerly listened to any stories about us.

Lady Elizabeth found our relationship more fascinating than street plays or romance novels.

She always brightened her eyes whenever she caught onto the subtle dynamics between Deon and me.

It made sense, given that this tenuous relationship had persisted for over two years.

This play was dragging on much longer and more persistently than I had anticipated.

If she found out that I had received a pass typically given to high-ranking nobles, she would cling to me and scream with excitement again.

Raising her child had made her seem more like a girl.

Her relationship with the count had also grown stronger, almost like it was before their marriage.

Even after having a child and growing older, she remained as lovely as the day we first met, though her spontaneous additions to romantic stories were a bit awkward.

“Anyway, I’m not taking it. Don’t take out the badge.”

At my words, he stopped his hand, which was hovering over the desk drawer.

“Didn’t you say you’d give me another chance? Wasn’t accepting the gift I gave you part of that opportunity? I remember it quite clearly…”

Deon slyly brought up that night, knowing full well that I’d blush at the memory.

“I was just caught up in the moment.”

As I started to cough again, he moved closer, raising his hand to feel my forehead.

But he stopped there.

When I flinched and stepped back at his sudden movement, he quickly withdrew his hand.

He seemed more startled by my reaction than I was.

Before his hand could touch me, he curled his fingers and let it drop.

He finished by adjusting the blanket that had slipped off my shoulder.

His touch was almost imperceptible, tender, and hesitant, as if he were afraid to make a mistake.

“It’s actually for the best. I’ll call the palace doctor so you can get a check-up before you go.”

Deon approached the fireplace and added logs, pulling the hearth closer to me.

His tone was languid, but I could tell he was restraining himself.

He was cautious, worried that any touch might upset me.

He treated me as if I were something fragile, something to be handled with utmost care.

While I didn’t mind his careful demeanor, it had created a subtle boundary between us.

We were at that exact distance, where he had stopped his hand earlier.

We knew each other’s secrets intimately, yet neither used that knowledge to get closer or to control the other.

After realizing he meant no harm, my guard had lowered, but since I hadn’t given permission, he didn’t come any closer.

As the seasons passed, I found it easier to interact with him.

With the strange tension between us lifted, I could see Deon for who he was.

Not as the emperor or the duke, but simply as Deon.

He, too, seemed more relaxed around me. He would occasionally make playful jokes and smile in a way that was uncharacteristically easygoing.

Of course, it seemed I was the only one who noticed these subtle changes. Deon still maintained a rigid and impenetrable demeanor with the other nobles.

And now, I had come to realize.

“Would you like more tea?”

Before I could nod, he was already adding fresh tea leaves to the strainer.

His broad back moved busily. I watched him quietly.

His considerate attitude towards me.

His slightly different tone of speech compared to how he addressed others.

‘This man likes me.’

Looking back, the signs of his feelings were clear.

With the empire at peace and my mind less preoccupied, I finally saw the affection he had been hiding.

It was hard to believe his care for me was just due to the bond we formed through our shared experiences, especially now that my usefulness had faded.

Even without the events that brought us closer, anyone with eyes and ears could see it.

He was providing a platform for me to breathe easily.

He did everything for me except say the words “I love you.”

Perhaps it was his last bit of pride as a sovereign that kept him from saying those words.

Yes, that’s why I haven’t given him an answer.

Is there a need to respond when I haven’t even been confessed to?

I convinced myself that his attentiveness was merely the favor of a ruler to a loyal subject, a reward to a comrade who shared life and death experiences. I tried to ignore my feelings.

Pretending not to notice his persistent gaze was also because I didn’t want to get hurt again.

The favor of a powerful person is like a sandcastle that can crumble at any moment.

Some might enjoy even that fleeting attention, but having experienced it once, I found it hard to fully relish the affection pouring over me.

His affection for me could be simple curiosity. If I accepted him, he might change his mind later.

The thought that if his favor disappeared, the luxurious territory and the people who had become my own might vanish like a mirage was terrifying.

“You’re quiet today.”

His gaze lingered on me.

I didn’t respond and just stared at him.

Truthfully, even before these thoughts, I might have already sensed his feelings through his eyes.

He had well-packaged me as a loyal servant after granting me a lavish territory and punished those who discriminated against the minority groups. These were things only someone with genuine care for me would do.

And I realized too late that the last act of changing my family name was to avoid implicating me through guilt by association.

I learned from my new territory that Leonie’s older brother had gone bankrupt due to gambling debts.

By the time I received this news, I had already been separated from my family.

The ruthless debt collectors who would even pursue married daughters could no longer claim the debts once I had erased my name from the family and received a new territory.

The massive gambling debt was entirely shouldered by the Sien family.

All traces of my family had vanished.

There were even wild rumors that I had sold the family cheaply to clear the debts, just as when I had acquired the territory.

Having no lingering affection for my blood relatives, their fate was none of my concern.

Deon’s words seemed more than casual. He pulled the bell rope and ordered the palace doctor to be summoned to the reception room.

It’s been a while since I’ve met with the palace doctor.

Initially, Deon would summon me to the palace under the pretext of needing regular check-ups, unsure of when he might need my blood.

But after I started sending my test results from the territory, Deon eventually changed the law.

Despite all the blood he drew, he hasn’t used me since.

I know why he’s obsessed with my health even though he doesn’t plan to take me to the battlefield. Still, if I refused to come to the palace, I wondered what excuse he would use this time.

But this time, he might have a genuine reason for calling the doctor.

I pushed the blanket aside and spoke.

“Are you really planning on going to war?”

“War?”

His sharp gaze pierced me.

“Where did you hear that?”

“When you’re in the palace, you end up hearing things you don’t want to. Be grateful I don’t frequent the social circles. What if I went around spreading palace security and military secrets?”

I grumbled in response.

Maybe I should have done that. Then he might have ordered the reports to be sent in writing again.

Being in the palace so often, I sometimes heard things I didn’t want to know, like today.

“Do you not want to come to the palace?”

“It’s not that I dislike it; it’s just a hassle. Too much time is wasted on the road.”

“Did you say I should personally inspect the territory?”

He must have met Rian in that short time.

“No other woman wants to boss the emperor around because she doesn’t want to come to the palace. Everyone else is dying to see my face.”

“Then just receive those who want an audience.”

“I am a fair emperor to everyone.”

Fair, indeed. The fact that I am here proves the opposite.

He was the emperor, and I was merely a subject who couldn’t defy his commands.