93. Something You Can Never Give

“Yes. Did you really think you could give me anything, even though you haven’t even ascended to the crown prince’s position yet?”

He fell silent at my words.

Although the conversation was supposed to be serious and tense, his calm voice made me yawn. I couldn’t hold it back and opened my mouth slightly.

Though I covered my mouth, Deon noticed my fatigue and handed me a blanket that was beside him.

“Try to rest a little. It’s late at night, and your health isn’t good.”

He was treating me like a patient. I leaned my head back. The carriage was spacious, so even when I leaned back, there was plenty of room left.

Yawning once again, I replied.

“I’m healthy.”

My voice, half-asleep, sounded like mumbling.

“That’s not what the regular medical staff said. They mentioned that your blood is getting thinner. They think you’re lacking nutrients.”

“The thinning of my blood is due to another reason…”

I stopped myself just in time. It was a mistake. He would find out by himself in a few months anyway. I almost revealed the presence of the blood of the next generation in a moment of emotion.

I glanced at Deon’s face from the corner of my eye. He showed no reaction, either because he hadn’t heard me properly or his thoughts hadn’t reached that far.

In the flickering light, his figure seemed to grow larger and smaller as it moved.

I forced my drowsy eyes open wide. He hadn’t put down the documents the entire time he was questioning me. He was doing office work even here.

He momentarily lifted his head from the documents when he sensed movement.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

I mumbled an excuse in a low, sinking voice.

“The light is too bright for me to sleep.”

“Shall I cover your eyes?”

He said this while folding the documents.

Was he planning to put that thick paper over my face? Thinking that, I closed my eyes.

But nothing happened. There was no rough paper sensation on my face, nor the heavy weight of a book covering me.

He remained silent. When I opened my eyes slightly, I saw Deon reaching out towards the sky.

In the middle of the carriage ceiling, a small lamp was shining brightly. It was small, but it provided enough light to illuminate the inside of the carriage at night. It was bright enough to read a book by.

I had found the brightness overwhelming from the start. His distant expression and deep features were too vividly clear.

The lamp swayed gently with the carriage’s tilting and slight shaking. The shadows on his face shifted with the movement.

Sometimes he appeared to be smiling faintly, other times he looked angry. It was just the shifting shadows, but it kept drawing my attention to his expression.

I thought he wouldn’t touch it since he needed to see the documents. But Deon took the lamp down from its hook.

He barely stretched out his arm, but his long arm easily reached the ceiling. He took out the lamp and blew out the candle inside it with a soft puff.

The inside of the carriage darkened. Only the reddish glow of a single candle remained. Just as he was about to blow out the last candle, I grabbed his arm.

“You won’t be able to see the documents.”

Outside the window, perfect darkness enveloped us. Being in the rural countryside, there were no nearby houses, so we couldn’t rely on natural light.

“It’s fine. Just for tonight.”

He said this and blew out the candle. The carriage was submerged in deep darkness.

With the darkness, I couldn’t see an inch in front of me.

With my vision obscured, my senses heightened. Sleep fled, and all my attention focused on him.

In the dim view, I could hear the quiet sound of him flipping through the documents. The familiar sound of paper rubbing against paper, a sound often heard in the office of the Northern House.

I thought he would rest as I did. But Deon stubbornly continued reading the text in the murky darkness.

My eyes felt dry. Blinking, I slowly closed my eyes.

* * *

Before I knew it, the carriage had crossed the night and entered the capital.

The carriage rattled as it entered the forest path. The wheels rolled over the damp ground.

Occasionally, the sun peeked through the dense forest and disappeared. The dazzling sunlight made me open my eyes.

Forgetting I was in the carriage, I stretched out and almost hit the ceiling.

What stopped me from hitting myself was Deon’s hand. The cold touch on my wrist startled me, bringing me back to my senses.

“Looks like you slept well.”

He greeted me with a morning salutation. Although he appeared to have stayed up all night, his posture remained impeccably straight.

I met his blue eyes. His gaze was deep and clear, almost blinding.

I must have dozed off. I felt a bit embarrassed, thinking I wouldn’t fall asleep at all. I cleared my throat and rubbed my dry face.

While I slept under the blanket he prepared, the carriage had swiftly entered the capital. As we passed the forest path, the scenery of the town unfolded.

Temporary shops lined the streets, and colorful balloons hung in front of the stores.

“Isn’t it just a small banquet?”

The entire street seemed to be in a festive mood. The banquet was supposed to be held among the nobles inside the palace.

“It’s a banquet coinciding with the early autumn festival. Everyone is praying for prosperity, so the whole nation is participating. Fireworks are set up on every street.”

Even the children passing by outside the window had wide smiles. They held translucent sweets made of sugar and munched on candies.

Everyone seemed excited. Yet, facing the upcoming banquet, I felt none of that excitement.

Even though we had left the estate far behind, my unease hadn’t subsided. Why had he brought me to the capital? The question lingered.

The carriage stopped as we entered the palace grounds. This was the last mansion I saw before I met him at the tower.

He opened the carriage door and extended his hand to me.

Through the open door, I saw a line of attendants standing in neat rows. They were there to welcome Deon.

Those who had been anxious, thinking they would have to quit due to his capture, were nowhere to be seen. It seemed everyone unsettled by his news had been replaced.

I looked at the hand he extended.

I needed to get used to being a tool. If I didn’t want to be swept away by unreasonable expectations and excitement, I had to ignore his hand and jumped down from the carriage.

The imperial carriage was high. Without someone to hold you, it was easy to lose balance and fall. As I leaped down, my shoes dug into the ground.

I almost stumbled, but Deon caught me with the hand he had extended. He wrapped his arm around my waist, securing me instantly.

“You’re being stubborn.”

He whispered in my ear, his arm still around my waist.

“Did you want to show this to the servants? If you’d told me in advance, I would’ve played along.”

“…It’s fine.”

My cheeks flushed, but I pushed him away as if it was nothing. I brushed the dirt off the toes of my shoes and walked ahead into the mansion. Deon sighed softly and followed me inside.

The maids from the estate were lined up beside the procession. They smiled at me.

Glad to have arrived safely. Seeing familiar faces in their eyes was a relief, especially since Suren was not around.

We entered the mansion. I carefully took in the wallpaper, the ceiling carvings, and the patterns on the marble floor. Returning to the mansion with Deon after so long, even the lampshades on the wall seemed unfamiliar.

Contrary to my worries, Isella was not in the mansion. For safety reasons, she had not yet returned.

“When is she supposed to join us?”

I asked cautiously. He tilted his head at my question.

“Who?”

“Lady Isella Snowa.”

Ah. He let out a short breath and furrowed his brows.

“I don’t understand why you’ve been concerned about her. Is she that important to you?”

Does he really not know? But his innocent face showed no signs of pretense.

“I need to avoid her when she arrives.”

“Why should you?”

How could he not understand a woman’s heart? It was frustrating.

“Is she joining in time for the banquet?”

I thought if he didn’t realize, I’d avoid her on my own. He replied quietly.

“Lady Snowa is not in the count’s house right now. Her sister is ill.”

If it’s Isella’s sister, it must be Elizabeth.

“Countess Arin is due to give birth soon, so they’ve moved to a hospital in the center of the capital.”

“…Already?”

Though there were signs of premature labor, it was sooner than expected.

“She might give birth before the banquet ends. If that happens, Lady Snowa will be absent… It’s a hassle.”

Deon muttered something incomprehensible, but I barely heard it.

My mind was filled with the faint image of Countess Arin.

The next generation’s blood bag was already about to be born? Should I have held on longer at the estate? Had I been too complacent, thinking there was still time?

His blade was too close to avoid death. My mind was in turmoil, the blade that had moved from waist to chest now nearing my neck.

Unconsciously, I glanced at his waist. More precisely, at the ornamental scabbard.

It wasn’t the long sword from the illustrations, but it was threatening enough.

In the capital, there were no hungry wild beasts lurking in the white snow. The men in the capital rarely needed to draw their swords, so they often wore short, jewel-encrusted daggers as accessories.

His attire was no different. It might not be sharp enough to kill a beast, but it was enough to slit my throat.

“Leonie.”

Deon called out, seeing that I had suddenly stopped. Noticing my troubled expression, he approached me cautiously.