The Crazy Prologue Never Ends

37. An Opportunity to Let Go

The writhing boundary fiercely lashed at my arms.

Anger welled up inside me. I bit it. I clenched my lips and pushed my arms in further.

When my hand was halfway out, a burst of light flickered, pushing me away. A blue light burst forth. I recoiled from the recoil, and the boundary was trembling roughly.

I had been walking for more than three hours. There was no turning back now.

In a situation where I couldn’t go back or forward, I just stared at the falling snowflakes in a daze.

I was still crouched on the snowy field. I didn’t have the strength to get up.

I exhaled heavily, and my breath dispersed faintly in the air.

Now what should I do? I…

Suddenly, I became worried about Leonie’s body.

Would I be able to endure lying in the snow for a while longer?

No, even if I couldn’t endure it, it was fine. I was completely exhausted.

Above my head, the aurora danced. It looked like the edge of a woman’s skirt.

Thinking it was the last, even that sight was beautiful.

“Why do you keep making plans that you can’t even accomplish, only to get caught one by one?” a phantom appeared before me. It was the future I had seen in my dream. No, it was the previous Leonie.

She circled around me as if reproaching me for my foolish actions.

“It’s true,” I chuckled bitterly. It was pathetic to be mocked even by a ghost.

“But it’s only natural. This is my first time in this world.”

Becoming blood, becoming an unfortunate extra, meeting that man—it was all my first time.

“So, how can you expect me to do something even you couldn’t?”

She didn’t say a word.

The phantom that had been lingering by my side for a while slowly disappeared.

I clenched my fists.

The snow piled on the boundary crumbled finely like hope.

In this world, blood felt like an inevitable destiny.

Blood was the sacrificial lamb that would make the unfolding romance more poignant.

If I were to disappear, the romance would collapse.

Thanks to that damn causality.

Naturally.

“Phew…”

I lay on the snowy field, exhaling in different colors.

Come to think of it, I waited for him in the cave like this too.

“I hope he doesn’t come…”

Back then, I barely held onto my sanity as I waited for him, but now I didn’t wait.

My mind and body were so exhausted that I would even reject a little help.

In my ears, there was a distant sound, like a drum.

Could it be an earthquake? Or perhaps a delayed landslide?

Anything would be fine. If the snow covered everything, it would be an acceptable ending, erasing all traces of me.

The sound grew louder and approached closer.

Then it gradually stopped right in front of me.

Only after the sound of hooves echoed did I realize that it was the sound of hooves racing through the snowy mountains.

“Here!”

Someone shouted.

I was half-buried in the snow and heard the shout. My cheeks stung. My frozen fingertips didn’t move.

Soon, a long shadow fell over me.

I could tell from just the shadow.

“You’re alive.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

After staring at me for a while, he finally opened his mouth and spoke in a monotone.

His expression was hard to read.

He didn’t reach out his hand as usual, nor did he help me up.

I understand.

He must be tired of running endlessly, and even that heroic act had failed.

His patience must have run out long ago.

Even a beloved pet escapes with a loosened leash once or twice. If it keeps happening, it’s only natural to raise the fence higher or tighten the leash.

And Deon wasn’t the only one who had grown tired of me.

Unfortunately, I felt the same way.

The fear of death that constantly repeated itself. I wanted to stop feeling fear now.

I longed for a normal life, depended on him, and then faced disappointment in life.

I might have been better off being found as a corpse in the snow.

Hold my funeral, bury me in a grave, have a child four months later, obtain a sword, fall in love.

If I were to die here, there might be some confusion for a while, but wouldn’t it be a happy ending for everyone?

“You’re alive.”

He, who had been quietly looking down at me, spoke. He knelt down in front of me and repeated the same words.

“You’re alive.”

Did he wish for me to die? Maybe he did.

Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, my freezing body was still functioning faithfully. His composed voice echoed clearly in my ears.

“…It’s fortunate for the Duke, isn’t it?”

I managed to move my frozen lips with great effort. It was a very faint sound, but he understood my lip movements.

“…It sounds like you’re saying it’s not for you.”

It’s not for me. Unfortunately.

The cruel causality of the novel doesn’t even release me from death.

I wanted to be sarcastic, but unfortunately, the first thing I lost was my ability to speak, and my lips remained frustratingly sealed.

My cracked lips didn’t move.

“Leonie, you seemed frustrated, so I untied you. Was it a mistake? Why do we always seem to run into each other like this?”

He reached out his hand. His large, slender fingers touched my forehead.

Slowly, he touched my frostbitten ear with his hand.

From my eyes, nose, to my cracked lips, his fingers moved down one by one, eventually brushing against my reddened cheeks.

His touch was warm, almost scorching, as if it burned wherever it landed.

Finally, he grabbed my wrist. His hand was full of vitality.

The sentence that had shone so brightly, almost blindingly, disappeared and was no more.

As he stared at my injured palm, he rotated his hand and touched my pulse.

His finger reached my wrist, which was trembling slightly. Wrinkles appeared on his beautiful forehead.

“…Slow.”

Is that so?

I might really be dying now, a little late though.

I didn’t have the energy to respond. My body had stiffened and wouldn’t move.

I lay on the snow, only my eyes blinking. The only thing I could hold onto was his face in front of me.

He touched my body here and there as if handling precious pottery, then he lifted his head.

Our eyes met.

It was a cold and piercing gaze.

Behind him, the snow-covered mountains gleamed blindingly white.

And in front of me, his skin was even more radiant. Contrasting with his black hair that swayed in the moonlight.

It was incredible how he could maintain such perfect hair in this cold northern region. I was the only one with unruly and coarse hair.

He had well-groomed, black, soft hair that emitted a subtle fragrance. He smelled strongly of winter.

His blue irises sparkled brighter than the moonlight.

Hair as dark as the night. Eyes so blue it was almost surreal. He was a perfect fit for the northern region. Almost like he was the moon itself.

When I left the castle, I hoped that no matter which direction I looked, it would be the last time I saw his face. I desperately wished it to be the last face I saw.

Perhaps this time, I might be confined to a room… No, maybe even a subterranean prison, until fresh blood arrives.

As he said, I might end up in a cold underground prison, chained up, my blood drained while I’m still breathing.

Or perhaps I would face a retaliatory execution on this snowy field.

He gently brushed my face with warm hands and then placed his hand on my lips. Gradually, my frozen lips thawed under his touch.

I understood that his action meant he wanted me to respond.

As time passed, I could feel my frozen lips slowly loosening.

“Why did you go to the western mountains?” He suddenly asked.

Well, if I don’t like the answer, will he leave me behind?

I turned my head away, my hair frozen stiff with cold. Preparing to speak words that could potentially be hurtful.

“Is my question too difficult?” He urged for an answer.

What should I say?

The sixth victim has appeared. The child is inside the mansion.

So, you think you’re going to kill me?

I tried to choose my words, but I couldn’t find any that would work.

I bit my lip.

I lowered my head and avoided his gaze, but he spoke.

“You got lost, didn’t you?”

“…Yes?”

“You got lost.”

He repeated the same words like a mantra, as if trying to convince himself.

I stared at him blankly. His expression was not clear in the backlight.

“Say you got lost, Leonie.”

His blue eyes stared at me silently.

If I say I ran away, will he leave me?

Perhaps this was a chance to let go of his hand.

“Come on.”

He urged for an answer. There was no hesitation in his gaze. No, rather… he seemed desperate.

“I got lost…”

“Alright.”

“…”

“Don’t go out next time. It’s dangerous.”

He answered as if he had been waiting.

He bent down and lifted me into his arms. His strong body enveloped me. I hadn’t worn my armor, which I wore every day, but his embrace was firm.

Overwhelming exhaustion surged through me. I closed my eyes in his arms.

* * *
They set up a hut near the border. The hut was already warm inside before I arrived.

Deon hung a lamp on a protruding ring on the hut’s roof. He rummaged through a bag he had been carrying around, searching for something. Then, he pulled something out and handed it to me.

“It’s cold, so hold onto this until we get back.”

A small stone.

It was the insulating stone I had searched desperately for.

Since I hesitated to touch the stone, he lifted my palm and placed it on the stone.

The stone was warm, as if it had been heated in a fire for a long time.

Was it this easy to obtain?

The days when I falsely confessed to take his seat and the days I roamed around the warehouse felt pointless now.

It was my first time touching such a magical item. It didn’t feel particularly special. It just felt like a common pebble rolling down the mountain.

I shouldn’t have complained about having to be his wife. I should have asked for something different. I could have lived a little more comfortably and happily.

Even if I died in the snow… at least I could have died warm.

Such considerations continued to shake my heart. They made me hate him, even as I deluded myself into thinking he was doing it all for my benefit. Offering hope and then taking it away. Over and over.

I handed the stone back to him. I needed to push away the growing sentiment.

“Take it with you.”

“It’s too cold.”

“You can endure it.”

He opened my hand and handed me the stone again.

I stubbornly resisted. In the end, it was his story that would unfold as he wished. If he wanted it, the stone would find its way into my hand.

“No. You won’t be able to endure it.”

He interrupted my words.

“And even if you try to escape, it’ll be futile. I will never let you go.”

His expressionless face was chilling. My body trembled with a cold shiver.