34. Drinking Poison
Noble people often say they don’t use excessive seasonings to conceal the taste of poison.
But what if all that excessive sugar was meant to mask the poison?
My heart began to race.
And a wicked thought crept into the corner of my mind.
If I just pretend not to know…
‘I’m not at fault. I didn’t poison it. No one will know. If I’m the only one who keeps my mouth shut…’
I tightly closed my eyes. It was terrifying.
Perhaps, neither choice would lead to a happy ending.
Four spoons, five spoons.
With each spoonful of sugar Suren poured into the sugar container, my hands trembled along with it.
I clasped my hands together. Without doing that, I couldn’t bear this trembling.
If I were to look in the mirror, my face would undoubtedly be deathly pale.
Suren placed a cup in front of Elizabeth.
Elizabeth picked up the steaming cup of lemon tea. She gracefully held the handle of the teacup with an intricate floral pattern.
“Lady!”
As Elizabeth’s lips touched the teacup, I unintentionally let out a loud cry.
“Let’s switch.”
“Huh?”
I made eye contact with Suren.
She bit her lip, lowering her head slightly.
The expression “don’t say another word, save your words” was meant to stop speaking further, but I deliberately ignored it.
“I… I suddenly felt like having lemon tea.”
“Suddenly? Just a moment ago, you said you wanted coffee…”
“I thought about it, and lemon tea sounds more appealing.”
I knew that coffee wasn’t a suitable beverage for a pregnant woman, but I was too distracted.
I had to stop her from putting the teacup to her lips, no matter what.
She tilted her head.
Then she turned her head towards Suren.
“Did you say your name was Suren? Would you like to serve me some fresh tea?”
“No. Lady Elizabeth! I’m satisfied with this tea. Is there any need to go through the trouble? It’s a waste of tea leaves… We should save them.”
“What?”
She paused for a moment, her hand outstretched to call Suren. Then, she turned the handle and extended the teacup towards me.
“Would you be okay with this?”
“Yes. Thank you…”
I picked up the teacup with trembling hands.
It was still hot, with steam rising from it.
As I brought my face closer to the teacup, a refreshing lemon scent wafted out.
It was too sweet-smelling to be considered poison.
As I hesitated to put it to my lips, Elizabeth spoke.
“Leonie, it seems like I should be the one drinking this tea.”
I stared at the teacup I was holding, without realizing it, and wondered why she was so fixated on lemon tea.
Still, it was too risky to ask Suren to bring a new cup of tea. What if the powder was already in another teacup? But if I sent Suren away now and called another servant, it would only raise more suspicion.
“In our hometown, we never waste a single leaf of tea, so it has become a habit. If you don’t want coffee, I’ll drink both.”
I pulled the teacup from the opposite side toward me, and some coffee splashed onto my wrist.
Elizabeth, who had been hesitating, had a troubled expression on her face.
She stammered, “I asked for a lot of sugar, so it might be too sweet. Would it be okay? It might be better to make a fresh one…”
“What?”
“Lately, I’ve developed a taste for putting a lot of sugar in my tea because I’ve had cravings. It might not suit your taste, Leonie.”
I pondered her words for a moment, then looked at Suren.
Suren, her hand on her waist, was staring at me with an inscrutable expression.
* * *
“Did you take me for a servant who would add poison without the master’s permission? Is this your proposal after a few days?”
Suren, who had closed the door, finally spoke.
Her anger hadn’t subsided, and her expression remained stubborn.
I wanted to deny it, but judging by the way she snatched Elizabeth’s teacup, it seemed she wouldn’t believe me.
I felt uneasy. I had started to doubt Suren without reason, even considering harming the master’s child in a brief moment of suspicion.
“It’s not like that at all. I was just a little surprised to see you taking charge of the snacks when it’s not usually your responsibility.”
“The kitchen maid who was in charge of the kitchen work had an upset stomach, so I was assisting her. Since making tea ultimately involves serving you, I volunteered.”
“That’s not all… It was different when you poured the tea compared to the other maids.”
“That’s because I’ve never been in charge of kitchen work before, so I was inexperienced. I forgot to pour out the first infusion.”
Suren sighed deeply.
“To be honest, I want to do that. I want to do something to the tea cup from my heart. It would be nice if Young Lady acted determined and selfish, but she’s not that kind of person, so I guess I can comfortably serve her.”
Suren fidgeted with her hands.
“Do you really have no intention of changing your mind?”
I shook my head in response to her question.
“…No.”
I said I didn’t, but was it really true? My voice sounded unsure, as if I lacked confidence.
“Suren, it’s just words… Can you show it to me?”
I wanted to at least confirm what the medicine looked like.
Suren, as if waiting, took out a small stack of paper from under the drawer.
It was a tiny note folded with a red string.
When I unfolded the note, I saw finely crushed pink powder neatly folded inside.
Contrary to what I had thought, it was not a cleanly refined white, but a beautiful shade of pink.
It was so fine and pretty that it almost seemed like it could easily tempt people and emit fragrance, like a poisonous mushroom.
It was so beautiful that anyone would readily taste it if told it was good for the body.
I wrapped the paper again with the string.
“You can keep it.”
When I tried to give it back, she put the paper back into my hand and held onto it tightly.
“You might need it. Use it when you need to.”
There’s no way.
That would be the time when I truly let go of myself.
I knew how much she wanted and cherished her child. How could I make such a choice?
Besides, I was the child’s surrogate mother. To think that the mother would try to kill her own child before it was even born. It was too tragic.
Suren seemed to sense my mixed emotions and said, “Nobles easily dispose of anything that gets in their way on their path without a second thought. They hire reliable servants and give orders instead because they don’t want to dirty their own hands. But Young Lady seems different from other nobles.”
I chuckled at her words. “Maybe it’s because she’s just a pretentious noble.”
Suren firmly handed me the poison.
Unable to leave it in the room, I decided to hide it in the secluded space next to the guest room.
Next to the room was a dead-end corridor with a locked drawer. However, the old latch could easily be released with a few pulls. It was a drawer I had discovered when I explored the mansion in search of hiding places for contraband items.
The drawer was filled with nothing but trivial items – a small flute, colored paper, a brush. Inconsistently assorted and haphazardly placed.
At first, I thought it might be items left behind by the maids or things left behind by external guests.
But it wasn’t until I saw a small frame that I realized. Those were relics left behind by the previous generation of the nobility who had come as guests.
People who had died as guests of the Duchy. Their only traces.
The childish items were toys to alleviate the boredom of the Marquis’s dull mansion.
Beneath the items, there was a portrait of a man. You could tell from the frame that it had hung in the same room as mine.
A young man with red hair, probably in his late twenties. His subtly curled lips caught my eye. He wore a suit and looked straight ahead. Only his upper body was depicted in the painting.
Why did Deon not instruct them to paint my portrait? Did he think I would live for a long time?
I bit my lip. No matter what I became, he wouldn’t get to see my face.
* * *
I walked through the garden. I had thought of visiting the greenhouse after a long time. Without proper maintenance, the vines quickly overgrow.
I hadn’t been taking care of the greenhouse for a while, so one side of the transparent greenhouse was already overgrown with remnants. It was so thick that I couldn’t see inside.
When I turned to the familiar path, a soldier blocked my way.
“It might be better to take a different route today.”
The garden behind him was noisy.
“What are you doing?”
“We’re doing maintenance and construction.”
The soldiers were carving stones.
Shovels, pickaxes, and chisels. Each of them was surrounding a stone and creating something.
“Can I watch for a moment?”
As I tried to move, he blocked my way again.
“It’s not something Young Lady should see. There’s nothing particularly interesting.”
He blocked my way so persistently, as if he had witnessed something that shouldn’t be seen. It seemed like he was waiting for me to turn back quietly.
Meanwhile, the stones became thinner, and the chunks at the edges fell away.
The stones the soldiers were carving gradually became rounder in shape.
Round, even rounder.
They solidified in place.
Naturally, the same-sized gravestones I had seen at the cemetery, and a stone of just the right size to place in front of the last grave.
The sculptor was carving letters on the front of the stone.
Although it was hidden by his back, I wondered if my name and year of birth were engraved on that stone.
The more I thought about it, the more certain I became. Suddenly, Young Lady’s I felt afraid.
My death had been slowly and steadily prepared without my knowledge.
“In fact, His Grace instructed the Young Ladies to prevent from approaching if they come here.”
A young soldier hesitated as he spoke. His words were just as confirming as an execution order.
“Why… why are you carving the stones?”
I pushed the man blocking my way. His hand held a firm armor.
“Yes? Young Lady, please wait.”
“Just step aside for a moment.”
“I…”
He looked very uncomfortable. He couldn’t touch my body and was blocking me with his entire body.
If it had been in the past, if a young boy soldier had spoken like this, he would have stepped aside.
“Hurry. Move aside.”
My voice quivered. There was moisture at the corner of my eye.
Ah mano aí cê me quebra 😟😭😭😭😭😭