126. If you Live a Normal Life

As I stared absentmindedly at his slightly parted lips, I quickly snapped back to reality. His gentle voice had captivated me, and I found myself gazing at him without realizing it.

The hostile demeanor he once directed at me was nowhere to be seen. I fanned myself with an open palm.

“It suits you well. Though it may not be the best environment for a bird to live in,” Deon remarked, unaware of my reaction as he studied the map of the estate. I stepped closer, looking over his shoulder at the map.

“Sometimes, it would be nice to take a boat out when it’s quiet.”

He mused, already imagining us strolling along the beach together.

I brushed my hand over the region he was pointing to. Though I had never been there, the Croix estate felt like an old home to me.

I had no real hometown. I didn’t remember the Baronage of Sien where I was born. All I knew were stories of it being a warm place.

People often assumed I couldn’t adapt to the north because I was a woman from a warm region. But the first landscape I remembered was piled-up snow, trees barren from lack of sunlight, and Deon’s cold eyes.

If I were to call the place where I first opened my eyes my hometown, it would be the north, where I was with him.

Would the seaside be very hot?

If I were to lead a normal life, get married, and have children, they would remember their hometown as a warm place.

A place where it never snowed. Where the salty sea breeze and rare seafood were daily staples.

And they would never share the same sense of familiarity with me.

“Will you invite me?” he asked softly, interrupting my thoughts.

He, who could go anywhere in the empire, was waiting for my permission.

The look in his eyes was intense.

“We’ll see,” I said, snapping the map shut.

* * *

Time passed quickly. The second event I accompanied him to was held in the imperial palace’s garden.

The picnic included a simple ceremony to pray for a bountiful harvest. It was a straightforward event where the noble who picked the largest fruit with a special mark would have their name inscribed on the honor podium.

Most of the attendees mingled and played games on horseback, but a few nobles eagerly took up the challenge of the ceremony.

Once the brief explanation ended, the gathered nobles dispersed throughout the garden. Each was eyeing the trees, estimating the size of the fruits.

Since all that was required was to present the fruit, I wasn’t too particular about my choice.

I was about to pick a shorter tree when Deon tapped the tree he was standing by.

“Pick that apple.”

The apple he pointed to was too high, at least over two meters.

“I can’t reach it.”

I stood on tiptoe and stretched my hand towards the apple. It was just out of reach.

As I looked around for a ladder, Deon, noticing my searching gaze, said, “Step on my leg.”

He promptly knelt down and patted his thigh.

The gathering eyes around us made me self-conscious. Moreover, he was wearing white riding pants.

“It’ll get dirty,” I said.

“So what?” Deon replied nonchalantly.

Even if he removed his coat, the shoe prints would be hard to hide. In the end, I stepped onto Deon’s thigh.

Luckily, I was wearing flats. They weren’t sharp, so I could lightly step onto his knee. To help me keep my balance, Deon held onto one of my arms.

Stretching my arm out, I picked the apple.

As I tried to carefully descend, my foot slipped. I flailed, trying to regain my balance.

Deon quickly wrapped his arm around my waist, catching me. I felt his fingers pressing into my back.

My heart pounded. Even with this small movement, my breath was heavy as if I’d done strenuous exercise. Meanwhile, Deon, who I had stepped on, remained steady and calm.

I gently released my grip on his shoulder as I came down. He then set me lightly on the ground.

As expected, his thigh bore dark red shoe marks. However, he brushed off the dirt nonchalantly. Any semblance of imperial dignity had long vanished.

I inspected the apple I had picked. Despite almost dropping it, I had held on to it.

The apple was flawless, smooth like a model fruit. There were no insect marks.

Even though these fruit trees grew in the garden, they were impeccably maintained, as if pre-washed.

I turned the apple around. On the back was a small carved mark.

“You’ve picked the largest apple. Congratulations, Lady Leonie Sien.”

Only then did I realize that Deon had prepared the apple in advance.

Immediately, a secretary hurried over. Despite it being a single fruit, applause erupted like thunder.

I stood awkwardly, receiving their congratulations.

“Write it as the Count of Croix,” Deon instructed.

The secretary, who had been about to inscribe my name with the Sien surname, hesitated with the pen.

“You’ve been granted a new title. Congratulations.”

“It’s an honor to witness the birth of a new family,” the applauding nobles said, stepping forward to shake hands.

Deon watched silently with his hands clasped behind his back as I accepted their congratulations.

He had meticulously orchestrated this event, ensuring that my new name would be recognized from the podium. The name Croix would now be mentioned at every annual banquet, indelibly etched in history.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him, leaning against the tree and gazing at him.

“For what?” He tilted his head towards me.

“For publicly acknowledging my new family name. And for preparing the apple for me,” I replied.

He had known from the start that the apple I would pick would be the largest. It was Deon who had guided me to that specific tree when we entered the garden.

“I’m glad you realized it. You’ve always been a bit oblivious,” he said, playfully pressing on my furrowed brow. He then brushed my disheveled bangs back into place before quickly withdrawing his hand.

Standing under the strong sunlight, Deon resembled a beast that had finished its hunt. Unlike before, when he was always on edge, he now seemed careful, as if worried about scratching me. He no longer needed to threaten or pierce anyone with his sharp fangs.

The white gloves he wore, made from the same material as his pants, stood out in the afternoon sunlight. Leaning leisurely against the tree, he exuded the ease of someone who no longer yearned for anything.

Once the secretary finished recording, Deon was immediately surrounded by nobles.

I was swept away by the crowd, moving farther from Deon.

He no longer sharpened his edges but conversed skillfully with the other nobles, his smiles more relaxed.

Watching from a distance, I noticed a familiar ornament hanging from his sword.

Deon’s long sword from the north.

Where the stag emblem of the Sinoa family once hung, now my bracelet was tied. Every time he nodded, the bracelet swung gently.

Seeing the bracelet, I quickly averted my gaze after looking back at his face.

Was I still harboring feelings?

Despite his betrayal, lingering traces of emotion remained, and it made me uncomfortable.

It’s just an ornament. Don’t assign any unnecessary meaning to it.

No matter what he did, I was soon to leave the palace.

I resolutely turned my gaze away from him.

* * *

Under the shaded canopy, the women were chatting.

Their voices blended with the breeze, sounding like a high-pitched song. I cautiously approached them.

Next to the noblewomen was a maid rocking a cradle under the warm sunlight.

The baby inside the cradle lay with wide-open eyes. Despite the unfamiliar people walking around the garden, the baby didn’t fuss, simply staring at the blue sky.

The baby wore white clothes, making the sparkling jewel around its neck stand out more.

The pendant’s design was familiar. The pendant, hanging from a chain, was identical to the ring Elizabeth had once given me.

So this was Elizabeth’s child, the next generation’s heir.

Though I could only see the baby’s face wrapped in a swaddle, I knew. The baby’s slowly blinking eyes were the same emerald green as hers.

Finally, I was meeting the boy from the prologue. A strange emotion stirred within me.

“I am… your godmother,” I whispered. I was grateful to be able to say these words before.

As I reached out, the tiny hand grasped my index finger. It was so small and soft. As the baby smiled, I could see the tiny front teeth just starting to emerge.

Everything about him was fast. His birth, his growing teeth.

He must be an extraordinary child. As the youngest heir, he had to grow faster than anyone. Such rapid development was no longer necessary once he became emperor.

“So you’re the child who caused me so much pain and made my heart beat so loudly.”

The baby smiled as if understanding my words.

I was relieved. I could face this child without resentment.

The noblewomen enjoying tea time at the table paused their conversation at the sound of my footsteps. One by one, they turned towards the pram, setting down their teacups.

The last woman to set down her cup and turn was Elizabeth. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw me.

“Lady Leonie!”

Elizabeth covered her mouth. Overwhelmed with emotion, she could barely speak, then reached out to me with open arms.

“I’m sorry I can’t stand to greet you. I haven’t fully recovered yet.”

“It’s alright.”

I embraced her gently, patting her back.

Though she didn’t look healthy, she was alive. Everyone I met after coming to the capital felt surreal, but her frail body made it all the more real.

Elizabeth had changed drastically. The once full belly, which had always seemed off-balance, was now flat.

“You’re alive. I’ve missed you so much,” she said, expressing the words I had wanted to say. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“I knew it would be polite to visit, but the palace’s security has always been strict. I couldn’t get permission and had to wait for you to come out,” Elizabeth explained, echoing Viter’s sentiments. Someone had undoubtedly been blocking palace entry.

And it was obvious who that someone was. There was only one master of the palace, with no spouse or former empress.

“It seems he wanted to spend time alone with you,” Elizabeth whispered, still misunderstanding our relationship.

She whispered in my ear, as if protecting a lover’s private life from others.

“That’s not it. I’m leaving soon. I’ve been granted a new title. I’ll live out my days in peace once I leave the palace.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise at my words.

“You’re leaving? I thought the reason for changing your family name was to keep you in the palace.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s to ensure you have good conditions to become Empress easily.”