Chapter 6
Regression (6)
Not long after Beomgol burst out of prison, I also received orders to return to my room.
From the lack of any remarks about whether I had been called out for reflection or whatever, it seemed that one of the big idiot’s cronies had snuck the imperial edict through while the big idiot was drunk.
Personally, it was a good thing, but from a national perspective, it was unacceptable.
That emperor needs to be expelled quickly.
Mulling over this, I flopped down onto the bed. I then opened a door-to-door sales catalog that the emperor’s lovers frequently browse through and turned the pages while chewing on an octopus leg.
There were only trivial things like jewelry and necklaces.
I wondered if there was anything interesting or fun to play with. As I flipped through the pages, a product I couldn’t tear my eyes away from appeared.
Bright orange, an alluring beak, a voluptuous back curve, and even surprisingly impressive additional features!
“Duck Quack Shoes! It’s Duck Quack Shoes!”
This was something I wanted as a child but had never worn due to my dignity.
And now, if I order right away, it’s only 39,900 Lakma? That’s not even 40,000 Lakma! I have to buy this!
“Emilia! Emiliya! Where are you, Emiliya!”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Today, I am Emily!”
Good, Emily. Go quickly and get this for me.
As I pressed the catalog product, Emily promised to fetch it from the merchant who had just arrived and rushed out.
At the same time that Emily left, the most annoying woman in the world entered.
“Piyashaaaa!”
Oh, it’s been a while since I heard that irritating piyashaa sound. Usually, she’s out on the battlefield, so why is she at home today?
This woman, the proud head of the Roro family and my mother’s only younger sister, was a noisy person who always talked about dignity and propriety.
She was someone who contributed greatly to my childhood by preventing me from ever riding on the elephant slide, wearing duck quack shoes, attending social events with my peers, or even replying to letters that came over the wall.
Not only that. She endlessly nagged about what her sister did at my age and even forced me to learn embroidery and knitting, which were once her hobbies.
Whenever I tried to do something, she’d say I didn’t know anything and that my aunt would do everything for me, so I should just focus on studying to become an emperor, ultimately narrowing my position in the palace.
Despite being so overprotective, she was absent during critical moments, which didn’t prevent my brutal punishment.
…Now that I think about it, it’s really infuriating.
“What on earth did I do to end up in prison… Ugh!”
If she gets close, I should just bite her.
As time passed, I realized that this woman was the main reason for my ruin.
If it hadn’t been for her, I might have had some fun as a child. Even if I had to endure the ridicule of the nobles, I might have gained some political experience.
“Piyasha! What’s with your face!”
“Huh?”
“Even though your eyes are as annoying as that idiot’s, your sister’s pretty round face, crescent-shaped eyebrows, and smooth skin, along with your garlic-like nose and plump earlobes, were so beautiful!”
What’s this, it’s unpleasant.
Even if I tried to ignore the initial part, the word “plump earlobes” was so disgusting that I unconsciously grabbed my earlobes and glanced at my aunt.
“What are you doing! The heir to the throne is injured; you should have brought a healing artifact!”
Is she out of her mind? Why use that expensive thing on a scratched wound!
A healing artifact is something that is created only when a deity with at least a lower god’s status has healing powers. Depending on how great the deity behind it is, the quality varies, but even a lower god can perform miracles like reattaching a freshly severed arm.
Because of this, healing artifacts from higher gods can cost as much as a whole imperial palace.
Even if you wanted to waste money on a scratched wound, it makes sense to use a healing spirit stone. You know, the kind made by ordinary civilians who serve spirits, not deities.
“Oh, Auntie, you don’t have money.”
“Even without Piyasha, Auntie is here! Auntie can pay for it!”
“Auntie is poor.”
“No, Auntie is not poor!”
Yes, Auntie is poor.
Do you know that 80% of the taxes collected from your territory go to military expenses?
Even if you sold all the explosive artifacts you can produce every month, you could live in luxury for the rest of your life, but you’re spending all of that and still buying new artifacts and weapons. Where are you going to get a healing artifact?
“Military expenses.”
“……”
“Poor.”
“Ugh……”
See, you have nothing to say, right? You’re poor.
So fixated on fighting that you’re wearing an old-fashioned dress from back in the day.
Honestly, admit it. You haven’t had new clothes since Mom’s wedding, have you?
“Yes. Outdated. Only old clothes. Get married.”
“Piyasha!”
Ahh, the woman who can’t get married because she’s obsessed with fighting is having a fit!
As I grabbed my earlobes and rolled around on the bed, my aunt flailed around on the bed as if trying to catch me.
At first, it was playful, but my aunt’s increasingly serious slapping made me shiver. Just then, Emily, whom I had sent on an errand, arrived and saved me.
“Your Majesty! I have taken the items meant for Trimuti!”
“Good job, Emilia!”
Today, Emily is fast and efficient, truly impressive!
To commend your efforts, I grant you permission to personally fit them on my feet!
“Fanny! Fanny, Fanny!”
“Yes, Your Majesty. Please wait a moment.”
As I adjusted the shoes, the Duck Quack Shoes fit perfectly on my feet. I had worried they might not fit since they were meant for some Trimuti thing, but since they’re made of rubber and stretch, even if my feet were a size larger, they felt comfortable.
I hopped around on the bed, took a deep breath, and firmly planted my feet on the ground.
Quack.
Oh my gosh! They really quack!
I don’t know how it works, but it’s amazing!
“Quack!”
Quack!
“Quackquackquack!”
Quackquackquack!
Every time I jumped, they made a sound. It’s so fun!
Getting into the habit of making sounds, I ran around the room making quack, quack, squeak, squeak noises and then returned to the bed. My aunt made a strange sound.
“Hmmph.”
What’s that? The sound she’s making is unpleasant. She should make up her mind whether she’s laughing or angry.
“Piyasha, the heir’s dignity…”
“Quack.”
“Hmmph.”
Hmm… It’s unpleasant, but I can tell that my aunt thinks I’m very cute.
In that case, I need to make her admit it before she nags more.
I deliberately made “quackquack” sounds and then quacked in front of my aunt.
“Corporate?”
Me.
“Hmmph.”
Admit it quickly. Admit that I’m so cute that it’s infuriating!
As I continued to push my face towards my aunt, demanding that she recognize my cuteness, my aunt covered her face and made “hmmph” sounds. Meanwhile, Emily, who had brought the Duck Quack Shoes, was covering her mouth and making a “hmmph” sound.
“Emily, do you find this amusing?”
“No, Your Majesty! I have committed a grave sin!”
Oh, come on. You laughed.
I approached Emily, who had knelt down, and extended my hand for her to kiss. Even though the imperial honor has fallen to the ground, laughing at the only heir of Kisos Malos is a serious crime.
“Emily, you shall receive a personal punishment!”
“Your grace, I am deeply sorry!”
Yes, you should be grateful that I’m the one personally punishing you.
I slapped Emily’s hand with my palm and counted, “One, two,” while Emily begged for her life, following the palace laws and performing exaggerated pleas.
“Emily will serve as a maid for the rest of the day.”
“Your grace! Truly! I am deeply sorry!”
Since I haven’t been able to wash while in prison, I decided to take a bath despite the early hour.
I prepared to leave for the bath with the squeaky shoes, solemnly declaring that I would now go wash.
At that, the maidservants moved busily. Of course, my aunt, in her outdated and shabby clothes, followed me.
“Aunt.”
“Huh? What is it, Piyasha?”
“Why are you following me?”
“To take a bath.”
What is she saying, this woman? She’s truly unpleasant.
I made squeaky sounds as I distanced myself from my aunt, then instructed the maidservants to fetch a healing spirit stone from the imperial storage while I was bathing.
And I issued one more order with all my sincerity.
“While I am bathing, access to Kazelnu is strictly prohibited.”
“Piyasha!”
I held my earlobes protectively and made squeaky noises as I headed towards the bath.
I didn’t realize it, but this aunt is an extremely unpleasant person.
