Chapter 0.
Prologue
I am the sole enemy commander of the formidable Amgun Helbartro Mayuna Kisomalos. In other words, I am the only princess of this country, Vishnaheil Rorowi Kisomalos.
I just got executed.
But now I’m sitting in the death row waiting room.
“……?”
Why?
I clearly just got executed and my limbs were torn apart, but why am I still here?
Judging by the executioner checking the clock, they will say, “It’s time to go out,” in about 3 seconds.
3,
2,
1,
“It’s time to go out.”
“I’m not going outtttt!”
“I must be crazy to go back there!”
Do you know how painful it is to have five cows pulling at my arms and legs from all directions?! They move so slowly, but it’s terrifyingly scary!
I’m not going out!
Are you crazy? Help me!
“Lord Kisomalos, even though I haven’t come to you for a few years for my meals, if you appear now and save me, I’ll devote myself to you for real for the rest of my life, I’m not going out!”
Shazam!
The blackout arrived. In the midst of the pitch-black darkness, a handsome Kisomalos appeared, shining in golden light, saying “Shazam!”.
I was furious. Kisomalos, who hadn’t cared about the household chores until now and hadn’t even come for Halloween, seemed like my father who neglected state affairs.
So, I decided to take the initiative and give him a beating.
“Princess Uppercut!”
As I delivered the Princess Uppercut, Kisomalos, who was lying on the ground like a beaten dog, tapped the floor twice, declaring surrender. Tapping the floor twice with your hand in a fight means surrender.
Since I’m a fair fighter, I decided to give him a chance to speak.
[Descendant! Something big has happened! Something big for both you and me!]
The golden sheep, a symbol of our country and the royal family, spoke hastily. Despite his sharp and intense red eyes due to his raised eyebrows, he seemed somehow distracted.
“Something big happened since my father ascended to the throne.”
[No, you don’t know! The more that scum rises, the more my divine status shines, right?]
Wait. The higher that human scum rises, the more Kisomalos’ divine status shines?
Then, have I completely wasted my life? I studied hard and lived diligently, didn’t I?
[Something even bigger has happened! While I was imprisoned, the last enemy commander was executed!]
“Lord Kisomalos, you were imprisoned? Why!”
[I don’t know! That’s not important right now!]
“Isn’t it more important to find out why Lord Kisomalos was imprisoned than the fact that I, the last enemy commander, was executed?”
As I exclaimed in frustration, the handsome man with shimmering golden hair hastily replied.
Somewhere, the ticking of a clock could be heard.
“I put out the urgent fire, but the deity I asked for help called a little too heavily! You’ll have to deal with the consequences!”
“Deal with the consequences? Where on earth have you been and what have you done, you half-and-half-faced blond troublemaker!”
“Listen carefully! I used up all my power to turn back time! But it’s a mid-term deal, so if I can’t gather the remaining power equivalent to what I paid today and pay the balance, I’ll be forcibly executed for defaulting on my obligations!”
“What on earth are you talking about!”
“Don’t you know the law of conservation of mass, you fool! Even if a tiny bit of time is turned back, it’s still just a tiny bit!”
“Isn’t it because the household deity is stupid that the enemy commander is stupid!”
I thumped my chest in frustration because of this annoying household deity. Then Kisomalos exploded even more.
“That’s right!”
What is he saying, seriously!
Turn back time? Defaulting on obligations? Forced execution?
Is this related to me being executed just now?
“Just remember this. Restore my divine status! Time has taken 16 years.”
Why exactly 16 years!
“Because sixteen is the age of youth!”
“Even though he’s our household deity, his actions have no consequences. Why did he handle things like that?”
As I pondered, feeling increasingly overwhelmed, Kisomalos spoke to me in a fading voice.
“I’m sorry for coming so late. Because of my sudden intrusion, you’ll probably have to go through it one more time.”
“Go through it one more time? What?”
Surely not that. Ah, it can’t be.
I couldn’t help but wonder. But before long, the darkness lifted.
“……”
And I was transferred to the execution ground.
The cows mooed mournfully.
Episode 01. Regression (1)
Our father was a formidable tyrant.
He carried the title of the Scarecrow Emperor as a given, handing out positions as long as he pocketed money, and the number of concubines recorded in history and the count of illegitimate children were beyond measure.
In short, he was the worst ruler.
His biggest flaw was… his thickheadedness.
If he had even a bit of intelligence, he might not have become a spectacle at his death. After all, a thickhead couldn’t possibly establish useful connections.
The man who left the only blemish on Kisomalos’ 500-year glory closed his life on the scaffold in the capital square.
Honestly, I think he died well. As the only enemy commander of the emperor, I nodded, thinking, ‘That thickhead got what he deserved, sticking his nose into everything.’ My heart was calm. That is, until the author, who endlessly created natural disasters, sentenced me to the scaffold.
The scaffold hurts. It’s humiliating and incredibly painful.
That thickhead went cleanly to the gallows, so why was I sentenced to the scaffold?
I was the last princess of the 500-year glory and the enemy commander of the emperor. Then, shouldn’t I have been treated accordingly?
Especially someone who tried to save a failing country, even a little more.
Couldn’t they have gracefully killed me with poison, or at least considered my feelings and sent me to Kisomalos’ side on the scaffold?
I vented my anger on the arrogant executioner who seemed to have rolled in from who knows where.
But that executioner, despite the emperor being in that state, said I deserved the scaffold for adding more crimes by claiming that the enemy commander did nothing.
“Who said I did nothing!”
I was dumbfounded and outraged, my nerves shattered, and in the end, I couldn’t even make a defense.
But the second time was different. This time, I still had my wits about me, and I started by saying, “Hey, you son of a…!” and unleashed a myriad of curses.
I am proud.
If the enemy commander had been idle, would the royal finances have held up until that day?
I did my best every moment.
While other kids were playing outside, I was confined to my room learning imperial studies. I dug the ground to learn self-defense techniques, and while my peers were laughing and chatting in social circles, I worked in the emperor’s office fetching grape juice.
During that time, I must have thought of ways to get back at that thickhead tens, hundreds of millions of times. Though I never acted on it.
Assassinating a reigning monarch could be a major flaw in inheriting the throne.
Was it my fault for not creating allies who could act on my behalf, while I was busy studying and working?
When the executioner complained about additional crimes, there was only one thought in my mind.
I wasted my life. From now on, I should live recklessly.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Sigh….”
I closed my eyes and immersed myself in meditation.
It seems like I was executed yesterday, and again today.
Yet, when I woke up, I found myself lying on my bed, with all four limbs intact, though feeling sore as if they had been torn off by the cows.
“Ugh…”
I clenched and unclenched my fist, examining my hand with only a few fingers. If my arms and legs had been torn off and treated, this little hand wouldn’t still be attached.
“Ugh, this is so frustrating…”
Why does my speech come out so unclearly? It’s really annoying.
