The Archduke’s Gorgeous Wedding Was a Fraud

“Yes, please.”

Perhaps it was a magical water bottle; the water was very sweet and cool.

The princess stood by my side as I finished drinking water. Meanwhile, I was thinking about what to say then I suddenly remembered an incident.

“There’s a servant* in the Knights of Rentus.”

*(Original word: 종자, A person who is subordinate to and follows others, but who, unlike slaves, is not technically lowly. Simply a subordinate.)

“A servant?”

“Yeah, they say it’s from Her Highness, the Princess… but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case.”

I feel like I’m telling her a secret, but I was curious.

I described my visit to the Quarterly Battles of the Knights of Rentus with Lacius in detail.

The princess who heard my story burst out laughing. Her lively laughter filled the clear air.

“Thank you for informing me, but he is no mere servant.”

“Yes?”

“I probably went and asked Peridot to wake ‘that’ up in advance because I expected an attack on you.”

What exactly is ‘That,’ Princess?

I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to ask any more questions, but I became anxious.

What is the name of the princess’s powerful, secret machine that she uses to clean things up? However, it appears to be something I should not touch or investigate. Something you’ll pretend you didn’t see even if you did…!

For a brief moment, there was awkward silence. It felt eerie, like I was watching a rated-19 movie with a lot of violence and brutality.

The princess, who had become as silent as I had, began to ask questions casually.

“Is there anything you want to do?”

“Umm, are you asking about a dream?  Or  a goal?”

“Either of the two.”

“There is, of course.”

The life of an unemployed person! A life in which money is never depleted, no matter how much I eat, play, or spend!

My goal is to live a life in which no one says anything to me, no matter where I go or what I buy or wear, and everyone has no choice but to be kind to me. It was very consumerist, superficial, and thoughtless.

And since I couldn’t say that much to the princess, I gave a fairly blunt response.

“I want to live a long, long life. That’s it.”

Every word contains my determination to succeed.

I refused the death assigned to Villainess #4. And, in order to live a happy old age, I’m also managing my personal network by hunting like this— Oh, I have to live happily.

“If you want to live a long life, it is best to be cherished by a powerful and invincible person.  Don’t you agree?”

The princess then spoke quietly. I took an unintentional step back. She currently feels like the CEO of a Hellgate company that entices new employees to keep them from leaving the company.

“Ahh no. I want to live comfortably in the countryside for the rest of my life. The city does not suit me. Despite my appearance, I actually like shepherding sheep.” 

“It’s a very unique preference, but you can play with sheeps in the Imperial Palace. You can do whatever you want in your spare time.”

“I’d rather do it on a large field than in the Imperial Palace!”

“Oh, it must be because you haven’t seen the Imperial Palace’s sheep shed yet. The stable is large and spacious, but the sheep shed is equally so.”

Why are you acting this way, Princess…. What did I do wrong, huh?

The princess moved two steps closer with each retreating step I took.

There’s an old saying that “you need to visit the grass cabin three times*” to gain a good servant, but the princess didn’t seem to want to go through the trouble. Instead, she’ll smile brightly at you and ask why you’re leaving when you’re already on her side.

*(A Chinese proverb that means: in order to get a faithful servant, one has to make lots of effort regardless of their position/title.)

‘Ack. This is not a good sign. If I do what she wants, my comfortable retirement plan will be ruined!’

I must disappear. Not right now, but after I finish my part of the contract. Whatever happens, I must disappear.

Every day, Lacius enters and exits the Imperial Palace, which means he’ll see me clinging to the future emperor. What would that look like?

“Think about it. Imagine living in the Imperial Palace and earning a lot of money while playing with sheeps.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. At this point, I believe I would need to use my painting magic to create an invisibility cloak like the one in Harry Potter.

I want to be a regular citizen, Princess-unnie. No power! No honor! Only money!

However, if I openly express my dissatisfaction with her suggestion, I will be asked to leave immediately.

I tilted my head and smiled as brightly as I could.

“However, I will soon marry Lacius.  I’ll be unable to work at the Imperial Palace.”

“Who said you couldn’t work because you were married? Even if you have a baby, you can work. I’m not that ruthless. Instead, I can give you enough paid leave.

“However, when I have a child, I want to pour everything into it and raise it myself. Lacius and I were also planning to have a baby soon after we married, so I believe it would be a little difficult.”

“What era are we living in right now? I must have forgotten to mention that the Imperial Palace has a childcare center. It was established by me, and professional nannies are on call 24 hours a day. Mothers can now work comfortably and safely.”

It’s a fierce battle in which she throws a trap with a smile on her face, I dodge it, and she throws another.

The princess never told me to ‘work for me.’ She simply instructed me to imagine it. So I can still avoid it by not responding directly as well.

She is still looking whether I will be of any use to her. If I show that I’m only flashy on the outside and uninteresting on the inside, she’ll lose interest right away, and I won’t be able to save Lacius……

‘What should I do?’

What should the wise response be?

I had never wrack my brain this much even for a board game with a cash prize of $1,000.

But that was then.

“It’s an assassin.”

Oh my God! Thank you so much!

I never imagined the day would come when I would gladly welcome the main culprits who made me sleepless all day and night before.

I was so relieved to be able to escape the pressure that was worse than a tense job interview that I failed to stop myself from smiling. Then, I notice the masked people who have appeared from everywhere looking bewildered.

They came here to kill, so seeing a target who appears to be enjoying such a moment must have been a rare sight for them.

“Princess Dioles Adela Terran. We’ve come to get rid of you.”

One of them graciously informed us of their mission. I clicked my tongue and scratched Cat’s forehead.  

There were only five people in sight.  But there was no way that only that many people could have come to get rid of the princess.

I slowly pulled out my talisman from the thin leather pouch attached to Cat’s neck. They were honest assassins who didn’t even try to make a surprise attack, so one or two would suffice.

“Cat, you know what to do, don’t you?”

Grrr.

Cat let out a very disgruntled cry and vanished in the blink of an eye when I patted his nape. He went in search of the assassins who were hiding somewhere behind the trees. The princess who saw it opened her mouth and spoke with interest.

“He must be eliminating the hidden assassin, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he has undergone that kind of special training.”

“It only makes me want it more.”

“Cat only listens to me. Please wait a little longer.”

I smiled at the princess and looked off into the distance.

Should I blow the whistle or not? Will he actually show up?

I can easily overcome this level of difficulty, but if Lacius appears, the scene will be complete. It will be yet another piece of news that people will be excited about.

“Stay behind me.”

“Huh, Your Highness?”

“All you have to do is stay still. Please assist me, Ziontin.”

It’s not bad to be treated like a fragile lady, but it made me feel very delicate.

I stood awkwardly, rolling the whistle in my hand.

tuk, tuk.

The sound of heavy bodies crashing down from the tree is unmistakable.

And in the next scene… I was left with my mouth open, doubting my eyes.

“……!”

Oh my goodness. You didn’t say anything about the princess being a whip master, author-nim!

Comment

  1. saturday22 says:

    🤣🤣🤣

  2. Nosleep says:

    Woa I am in love with the princess

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