The Age Of Arrogance

“Sigh…….”

 

Lionel didn’t answer right away. He scratched the back of his head and sighed.

 

“It doesn’t really matter what His Majesty is doing. The most important thing right now is what the Countess thinks.”

 

He wanted to grab Asha and beg her not to leave Carlyle, but Carlyle had anticipated that and warned Lionel firmly.

 

[I will respect Asha’s choice. If she refuses, as you say, I will accept it. So don’t even think about doing anything stupid. It’s an imperial order.]

 

‘If he says that with a face that looks like he’s about to die, I’ll feel much better. Ugh.’

 

It was frustrating and disappointing, but Carlyle was right. He couldn’t force Asha, who had already suffered so much, to endure the filthy and deadly life of the imperial palace.

 

“What I want to tell you is, don’t pay attention to what those who insult or slander the Countess say. It’s all a ‘scheme’.”

 

“A scheme…….”

 

“Yes, a scheme. They want the Countess to be hurt and discouraged so that she will refuse the position of Empress on her own.”

 

Asha seemed to be lost in thought as she stared vacantly into space and nodded. Then she asked Lionel,

 

“If I divorce His Majesty the Emperor, what will happen next?”

 

Lionel clenched his jaw and answered calmly.

 

“The process of selecting a new Empress will begin. Since the Empress Dowager is no longer with us, the senior ladies of the imperial family will choose the candidates for Empress, and there will be fierce competition and bribery behind the scenes.”

 

“……And then?”

 

“Then, when three or four candidates have been selected, a ball or a light banquet will be held for His Majesty the Emperor to meet the candidates. After that, His Majesty will choose one of them.”

 

Asha laughed lightly.

 

She could see Carlyle sitting in the ballroom or banquet hall, looking like he was about to die.

 

“What kind of young ladies will be candidates?”

 

“They will probably be the daughters of high-ranking noble families, around the age of 20. Some young ladies have been mentioned before, but it seems that other families are also becoming interested because of the rumor that His Majesty is not insisting on a black-haired woman.”

 

“They must all be beautiful.”

 

“I’m sure they are. But they won’t be able to wear black. They won’t be able to make His Majesty laugh either.”

 

Asha stopped and looked at Lionel, who apologized with an embarrassed look on his face.

 

“I apologize for my inappropriate remarks. Please forget about it. Anyway…… I think I’ve said everything I need to say, so I’ll be going now.”

 

Asha nodded and saw Lionel off.

 

After he left, the room became quiet again.

 

“They’re going to hold a selection for a new Empress…….”

 

Asha collapsed on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

 

Until now, she had only thought about divorce, and had never thought about what would happen after the divorce.

 

“Not Lady Cecilia nor Lady Dorothea, but other women….”

 

She tried to imagine Carlyle enjoying the company of young, beautiful women, but such scenes just wouldn’t materialize in her mind.

 

Although beautiful, delicate young women in their early twenties might blush and flirt with Carlyle, he seemed unable to distinguish one from another.

 

When paired at a matchmaking ball, Carlyle would likely wait out the time, unwilling to dance with any of the women without even looking at their faces.

 

What answer would Carlyle give to the question of who he preferred?

 

[Choose anyone.]

 

He muttered dismissively and seemed to walk away, leaving behind an indelible image of his retreating figure.

 

As Asha imagined such thoughts, she pulled out a letter from her pocket and unfolded it.

 

To my beloved Asha,

 

“I never imagined I’d receive a letter starting like this….”

 

Asha couldn’t help but smile.

 

It was a ‘love letter’ that Carlyle had secretly sent.

 

…This is just part of my efforts, I’m not trying to coerce your decision. It’s just… on days like today, when I haven’t seen you at all, writing like this helps ease my mind.

 

The cautiously worded letter went on to briefly describe the day’s events before digging into reminiscing about their shared memories.

 

…Even now, when I see cream pie or milk jam, I think of you. Like that time you offered it to me to eat just once.

 

At that time, it seemed delicious, but since entering the palace, nothing seems to taste good anymore.

 

She thought she remembered every detail, but in Carlyle’s letter recalling those small memories, there seemed to be a warmth that she had felt at that moment.

 

…I sometimes miss life in Pervaz. In Pervaz, kindness shines and divinity is preserved. I can understand why you want to return to Pervaz.

 

Yes, I understand. I’ll never force you. I don’t want to make things difficult for you out of my own selfishness.

 

While the letter itself seemed ready to let Asha go at any time, Asha felt as if she could hear a pleading voice from beyond the words, “Don’t go.”

 

Perhaps that was Carlyle’s true feelings.

 

My head tells me I should let go of Asha, but my heart just can’t do it…….

 

Asha felt the same way.

 

‘Me, the empress? That’s ridiculous. I don’t belong in Cairo or in noble society!

 

She thought that she should logically end her relationship with Carlyle here. There were countless reasons why she had to do this.

 

She seemed to hear the voices of the nobles, including Giles, pointing at her and saying, “You are not qualified.”

 

But when she thought of Carlyle turning back to call her name, all those reasons and criticisms lost their significance.

 

[Asha.]

 

With his warm amber eyes, confident smile, and smooth, supple lips, his voice was like a shiver down her spine…

 

Asha, who had been staring at the ceiling for a long time, suddenly jumped up.

 

“I need to be sure.”

 

She walked out of the room immediately.

 

* * *

 

Sip.

 

As the caramel-colored liquid filled the glass, the matured brandy’s fruity aroma and floral scent bloomed.

 

The finely crafted glass, reflecting candlelight, shimmered beautifully, but Carlyle drank the liquor without any enthusiasm.

 

“Sigh….”

 

The strong drink burned down his throat, heating his insides, but the swirling thoughts in his mind didn’t easily settle.

 

“Oddly, I don’t feel drunk today.”

 

He murmured aimlessly into the air.

 

Knowing it wasn’t good to drink any further, he closed the bottle, but tonight, it seemed he wouldn’t be able to sleep even with the help of alcohol.

 

‘What the hell did I come all the wat here for?’

 

He was ashamed of the way he had tried to justify the reason for the fight with plausible words in front of Asha.

 

At that time, it felt like he could sacrifice himself for the country and its people, but once he became the emperor, everything felt suffocating.

 

He knew.

 

Back then, when I was fighting the enemy with Asha, everything was meaningful because Asha was by my side.

 

Life was radiant, and the reasons for fighting were clear.

 

But now, everything felt like mere hollow obligations.

 

‘Asha hasn’t said anything today…. She’s probably going to leave for Pervaz, isn’t she?’

 

Since confessing his love, he had written letters pouring out his sincerity whenever he had time.

 

Since Asha refused all gifts, she had no choice but to send support to Pervaz and do his best to look after the territory’s affairs.

 

But Asha didn’t reply, nor did she make any demands.

 

Moreover, after being pressured for divorce at today’s noble meeting, Carlyle felt pushed to the edge.

 

‘I need to prepare myself mentally….’

 

But what exactly did that “mental preparation” need?

 

People easily said, “Forget your past woman with new ones.” Carlyle could confidently assert that those people hadn’t met their true soulmate.

 

‘She makes everything in life shine just by being there…. How can I possibly forget her?’

 

She even gave him a thrilling sensation amidst the blood and flesh of the battlefield.

 

He already knew that feeling, so how could he forget it?

 

No matter how much he thought about it, it seemed he wouldn’t be able to experience the full joy and happiness of life without Asha. He could only long for her quietly, waiting for the candle of his life to burn out.

 

“Should I have one more drink?”

 

Imagining his own life drying up meaninglessly, Carlyle, overwhelmed by the bleakness, uncorked the bottle he had just closed.

 

“But then, the chamberlain quietly knocked and entered. Since it meant that there was a big problem if the chamberlain disturbed the emperor’s rest at this time, Carlyle’s eyes instantly sharpened.

 

“What is it?”

 

“A guest has arrived.”

 

“A guest? At this time?”

 

Before the chamberlain could explain who it was, the door burst open without permission.

 

“Spare me some time, Your Majesty.”

 

Even though he wasn’t that drunk, he sobered up completely at the sound of that voice.

 

“Asha…!”

 

Carlyle was stunned, wondering if he was dreaming. However, Asha’s eyes were even sharper than usual.

 

After waiting for the chamberlain to tactfully withdraw, she strode towards Carlyle.

 

“Alcohol…?”

 

“Oh, this is just a little before bed…”

 

As Carlyle was making excuses, Asha picked up Carlyle’s glass.

 

“May I have a drink too?”

 

Carlyle involuntarily picked up the bottle and poured her a drink. However, it was only when she fearlessly gulped it down that he realized it was hard liquor. And that she wasn’t good at drinking it.