The Age Of Arrogance

Carlyle nodded heavily.

 

“He even disobeyed His Majesty’s orders and acted on his own. According to the military law I know, he deserves to be executed for disobedience.”

 

“Yes, that’s right…….”

 

“And yet, Your Majesty spared his life. I admit that he was once hailed as a genius, but is he still a genius and an irreplaceable strategist?”

 

Asha vented her dissatisfaction that she had been keeping inside.

 

It seemed that this was not the area where Cecilia had told her to ‘have a candid conversation’, but she thought that she should still talk about everything when the opportunity arose. She didn’t know when she would have another chance like this.

 

Carlyle pursed his lips as if he was a little embarrassed, and then he opened his mouth with difficulty.

 

“I know you have that kind of complaint…….”

 

“But why are you ignoring it?”

 

“I couldn’t just throw away my savior, just because his gun is a little tarnished.”

 

Carlyle sighed deeply.

 

“He became my teacher when I was ten years old. It was quite a topic when the most promising professor at the academy turned down Matthias’s offer to be his teacher and chose me instead. And at that time, I was suffering from several assassination attempts by Beatrice.”

 

Carlyle took a few sips of the tea in front of him, as if his mouth was dry.

 

“He told me one day that he would bet his fate on me, after seeing what kind of future I had. I laughed at him then. I thought it was just empty words.”

 

“And then?”

 

“He was sincere. He took an arrow for me and almost died of poisoning after trying to identify the poison in my food. The main business of the Raphelt family was also blocked. But the one who didn’t let go of me was Sir Giles Raphelt.”

 

This was the first time she had heard this. No one, including Giles, had ever told her such a thing.

 

“It’s not a lie that I saved my life several times thanks to him. I can’t just cut ties with such a person, just because my circumstances have improved.”

 

“Ah……. I didn’t know that.”

 

“I suppose you didn’t. In fact, I could have told you in advance, but I also needed someone close to me who would say everything I wanted to say without being swayed by Sir Raphelt.”

 

That’s why Asha’s presence, who was not the least bit intimidated by Giles, was so refreshing and useful to Carlyle.

 

However, when Giles’s revelation caused Asha to leave and she almost died, he regretted terribly letting their relationship get to this point.

 

“But I’ve also been keeping my distance from Sir Raphelt since the Southern War, and I plan to…… end this relationship amicably soon.”

 

He was once a man he trusted so much that he thought he would like him to be his father. If it hadn’t been for his arrogance and greed, he could have lived as Carlyle’s closest aide until he died.

 

However, the relationship that had been gradually becoming precarious had completely deteriorated at some point.

 

“Perhaps… since the time I was stripped of the title of Crown Prince…”

 

Maybe since then, Giles has come to distrust Carlyle.

 

Even so, Carlyle, who had planned to stop him from overstepping his boundaries and clearly define his position in some way, guessed after hearing Asha’s story that ‘that’ time would come soon.

 

“Anyway, Lady Raphelt is not leaving Pervaz Castle on her own accord.”

 

“It seems like Sir Raphelt plans to make her the Empress…”

 

Asha decided to push it all the way since she had brought it up.

 

“What are you going to do? You’re not divorcing me, and from what I hear from Lady Dupret, she doesn’t seem to be a candidate for Empress either.”

 

Carlyle averted his gaze.

 

However, Asha was determined not to back down this time.

 

“Am I not even allowed to say a word about the matter that concerns me? How much longer do I have to stay here? Can I go back to Pervaz?”

 

Each word stabbed Carlyle. There was no excuse for the fact that he was tormenting Asha again. The one who regretted hurting her so much was doing the same thing again.

 

[Don’t speculate what Her Majesty the Empress is thinking and have a conversation. If Her Majesty refuses, then you must accept it.]

 

Lionel’s words came to mind.

 

The moment that could no longer be delayed had come.

 

‘Yes. Before I regret it more…’

 

Carlyle took a deep breath.

 

“I…”

 

Asha’s eyes lit up.

 

“I don’t want to… break up with you. I’d like to continue our marriage.”

 

“……Why?”

 

It finally came out. The innocent yet cruel question that pushes the man she has a crush on to the edge of a cliff.

 

However, there were few cards Carlyle could play here, and he had no intention of evading any further.

 

“Because I love you.”

 

It wasn’t a very loud voice.

 

However, the drawing room where they sat facing each other fell silent at the sound that Carlyle let out like a groan.

 

“Yes…?”

 

Asha asked back, thinking she had heard wrong.

 

“I love you.”

 

“What, what are you saying?”

 

“I love you, Asha.”

 

“No……”

 

“I love you, and I was afraid that you would leave me if I said I loved you… so I avoided it. I’m sorry.”

 

Asha didn’t understand what Carlyle was saying since a while ago. Because it was impossible.

 

“You told me not to cling to you later?”

 

Carlyle closed his eyes tightly at the reaction that was not even slightly positive. His heart ached as if it had been cut by a sharp sword.

 

“I’m sorry. I was arrogant and foolish.”

 

“How much did I…!”

 

“You must have been hurt and your pride wounded. I know. Again, I’m really sorry.”

 

Asha gritted her teeth.

 

The countless ‘misleading words’ that Carlyle had uttered came to mind. She thought about how much she had been excited and how much she had hated herself because of those words…

 

Asha thought about the days when she tried to pretend not to be hurt and not to care in front of him, and the countless nights she had been alone in her pain, and she felt wronged.

 

“When did it start? When did you start to notice the clumsy and dirty barbarian princess?”

 

Carlyle licked his lips, which were losing color, and replied.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know…?”

 

“Somehow, all my thoughts started to drift to you. I thought about you when I opened my eyes, and I wondered what you were doing. And then…”

 

Carlyle’s eyes, which seemed to have fossilized sadness, slowly looked at Asha’s forehead, eyes, nose tip, lips, and chin.

 

“The moment I heard that the Pervaz Castle was attacked, I couldn’t think of anything… I just… prayed that you would live. That’s when I first found God.”

 

It was a memory that still took his breath away whenever he thought about it.

 

The sight of Asha lying pale and dead would be unforgettable for him.

 

As Carlyle blinked, a small drop of water fell.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I love you.”

 

He slowly got up from his seat and went right in front of Asha and knelt down on one knee again.

 

“You may think it’s shameless, but could you give me just one chance? Let me apologize for the arrogant and ignorant me and try to change your mind, just once…”

 

Carlyle’s cold hand carefully took Asha’s clenched fist.

 

The moment she saw tears falling from his eyes, Asha’s head turned white and she involuntarily pushed his hand away and stood up abruptly.

 

“I… I can’t be the empress.”

 

Carlyle shook his head violently.

 

“There is no one more qualified to be the empress than you. You fought the barbarians with me, protected the south, and drove out the rebels.”

 

“You know that’s different from what everyone else is saying about the Empress candidate.”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything to me.”

 

“Your Majesty shouldn’t say that.”

 

Carlyle’s face began to fill with sorrowful despair.

 

“Do I have to marry the Empress candidate that everyone wants, not the one I love? Because I’m the Emperor? Am I no different from a stud horse?”

 

“That’s not what I meant…….”

 

“I can accept that you don’t love me. But don’t talk about the Empress candidate as if I’m trying to get a good-blooded horse. ……I’m a person too.”

 

He was a person with feelings.

 

He was a person who was going to die because of the love he realized too late, but he couldn’t die because he had made a promise, and he was living on, dragging his feet.

 

Asha really didn’t know what to do when Carlyle lowered his head.

 

“I, damn it, ah, sorry. So…….”

 

“I understand that you’re confused. It’s my fault for not having the courage to do this sooner.”

 

“Sigh…….”

 

Asha rubbed her face roughly and muttered without removing her hand from her eyes.

 

“Give me…… some time.”

 

However, Carlyle could not tell if that was a positive or negative meaning. He could only secretly sigh in relief at the fact that he had bought himself some time.

 

“Of course. Take all the time you need.”

 

“When I next ask to see you, don’t avoid me either.”

 

“……I promise.”

 

“I’ll take my leave for today. The matter of Lady Raphelt…….”

 

“I’ll explain it to Sir Raphelt.”

 

Asha took a deep breath and nodded.

 

Then, she opened her mouth, not knowing what else to say, and after a short greeting, she left the drawing room.

 

[I love you, Asha.]

 

The voice seemed to chase after her belatedly, clinging to her neck, her hair, her lips and shoulders.

 

* * *

 

A regular meeting of the nobles was held, attended by all nobles.

 

There had been a few temporary noble meetings convened since Carlyle became emperor, but there were some families who were absent due to circumstances, and there were also some vacancies due to involvement in the rebellion, so it was a bit chaotic.

 

Even discussing only the most pressing matters took up all the time, so there was no time to discuss the matter of the empress’s position.

 

However, as the chaos subsided, the nobles naturally began to wonder about the seat next to Carlyle.