Chapter 45
Jisoo raised her head and said, “I don’t want to go to business graduate school.”
“Then?”
“I just want to spend about a year studying abroad, thinking about what else I want to study.”
“Jisoo, the current situation…”
If her father were alive, if the company hadn’t gone bankrupt, it would have been possible. Spending a few years studying abroad, dreaming and pursuing something new.
But now, with no living expenses, it was impossible for Sua to cover the cost of studying abroad in the United States.
“The current situation isn’t good.”
“Why, you have Hyun-oh Oppa.”
Jisoo, who had been calling him Hyun-oh Oppa until just now, looked at Hyun-oh and said, “Hyun-oh.”
“He hasn’t offered much help. Just… living expenses? It won’t be much.”
Even if it wasn’t much, it probably wasn’t an amount that an ordinary office worker could handle.
Sua had several friends who went to study abroad in the United States. Her college friends who were financially strained struggled after studying abroad, and their parents also had a hard time.
It was obvious what would happen if Jisoo, who didn’t usually live modestly, went to study abroad in the United States.
“No.”
It was unacceptable for Sua to take money from Hyun-oh.
“Let’s first look for what you want to do in Korea. And…”
“Why do you keep saying no, sister? It’s… hard.”
Jisoo choked back tears.
“It’s too painful to be in Korea. There’s nowhere we didn’t go together, Jisoo and I. School, our neighborhood, the downtown area. But it’s so hard to stay in Korea.”
“Jisoo, I understand how you feel, but the household situation…”
“Why do you keep saying no? Our household may be difficult, but Hyun-oh Oppa could help, right?”
Tears fell from Jisoo’s eyes.
Perplexed, Sua bit her lip. She clenched her fists, her nails digging into the tender flesh.
What should she say?
She couldn’t figure it out.
I can’t accept help from someone you call Oops when it’s unclear whether I’ll divorce him or not, let alone the circumstances.
No, even if that weren’t the case, I couldn’t accept help from Hyun-oh. I didn’t want to.
“Don’t cry. Not for now.”
Hyun-oh looked at Sua and Jisoo alternately, seeming perplexed.
“I’ll talk to Sua and let you know. Don’t cry like this already.”
“Hyun-oh Oppa will help, right? … Sniff.”
Hyun-oh glanced at Sua. Sua lowered her head. Hyun-oh smirked.
“I’ll talk to her.”
Sua cut her off.
“There’s nothing to think about. Anyway, Jisoo, think about it again.”
“No, no.”
Like a child, Jisoo shook her head and continued to cry.
—
Sua breathed a deep sigh as she walked out.
It took an hour to persuade Jisoo not to study abroad. The discussion about studying abroad came after they finished their meal, so it was lucky they had, otherwise Jisoo might not have eaten properly.
As Sua parted ways with Jisoo and got into her car, she looked at Hyun-oh.
“I should have just said no from the beginning. If I give Jisoo room to hope, what am I going to do?”
“I can cover the cost of studying abroad.”
Sua shook her head at his words.
“Even if Hyun-oh can cover it, there’s no reason to do it.”
“Why not? We’re family.”
The word ‘family’ coming from Hyun-oh’s mouth felt hollow.
Sua narrowed her eyes.
“We’re in the process of getting a divorce. In three months, or maybe two months, we might be separated.”
“I have no intention of divorcing.”
“The one who promised to divorce after fulfilling all the conditions is Hyun-oh.”
“Do you still have thoughts of divorce?”
Hyun-oh frowned and looked at Sua silently.
Divorcing from Hyun-oh.
Before discussing divorce, they were a half-hearted couple.
Although they had a wedding and registered their marriage, they didn’t share their bodies or emotions. Sua loved Hyun-oh, but it was always a one-sided love.
The company, which was Sua’s advantage to Hyun-oh, was scattered and disappeared into thin air, and there was no reason for them to continue their marriage.
But…
Would it be the same now?
It had been a month since they talked about divorce. Sua shared passionate kisses with him and realized what it felt like to be loved at night.
Hyun-oh tenderly spoke to Sua, and his words were sincere.
“I’m asking if you still have thoughts of divorce.”
Sua didn’t answer Hyun-oh’s question.
Even now, Sua couldn’t figure out exactly what to do.
“Whether we divorce or not…”
Sua’s words trailed off.
“You shouldn’t have said such things to Jisoo. Jisoo needs to figure out how to live on her own.”
Like me.
Thinking that she could live in the shadows of the household forever, thinking she could live in Hyun-oh’s shadow forever, was not allowed.
“Of course…”
Her head throbbed. She raised her hand and rubbed it.
“I’m sorry Jisoo suddenly brought that up. I really didn’t expect it. I thought we were just going out for a meal today.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“I’m sorry, I just… feel guilty…”
Sua’s body slumped more and more.
With her father gone, everything happening around her felt too heavy.
“I’m sorry.”
Hyun-oh silently watched Sua, who whispered in a voice that seemed on the verge of breaking, hiding her face in her hands.
—
That day, it rained heavily.
Although it wasn’t the typhoon season yet, unusually heavy rain flooded the streets of Seoul. She was anxiously watching the pouring rain from home when she suddenly received a phone call.
―Sua, Father… Father…
It was her mother’s call out of nowhere. And she rushed to the hospital.
She rushed out of the house, so she was wearing just a thin dress and a cardigan.
In the brief moment between getting out of the car and entering the emergency room, the rain poured down so heavily that she was soaked to the bone.
Her father was in critical condition, they said he was in surgery. She sat on the brown chair against the wall in the emergency room, waiting for how long.
The doctor came out of the operating room and said something to her mother.
“Oh, my.”
Her mother’s voice was choked with sobs. Her mother, who usually only cried a little when something sad happened, had never cried so heavily before.
“Oh, my, sir… our Jiheon’s father, what should we do?”
“Mom, don’t cry.”
Jisoo hugged her mother, who was rushing to find her father and crying. A shiver ran down her spine with a bad premonition.
“Sua.”
On the day she practically got kicked out of her home where she was born and raised, her mother called her and said,
“From now on, Mom will trust only you.”
“…Mom.”
What about her brother?
The brother whom Mom and Dad always loved?
The words choked up in her throat.
“Your brother has to do big things, and Jisoo is still young. Now, our house only has you and Hyun-oh. You have to treat him well. He’s the pillar that supports our family.”
Her mother said that.
She had never heard her parents say things like “pillar of the family” or “you’re important” before. But as the situation got worse, her mother reached out to Sua.
“I’m fine, but Hyun-oh can’t.”
“Mom, no.”
She wanted to say that, but the words didn’t come out. It was as if her mouth was sewn shut. And then darkness enveloped her surroundings again.
The last thing she saw was.
Her brother, Jiheon.
“Sister! I’m planning to study abroad in the United States. Of course, you and Hyun-oh Oppa will help, right?”
She clung to her, crying.
She had to refuse.
Because… Because Hyun-oh shouldn’t have to bear this burden. They got married without love, just as a condition, so why should Hyun-oh…
If this was going to happen, we shouldn’t have gotten married.
I troubled him by marrying him for no reason.
She wanted to say it, but the words didn’t come out. The moment she exerted pressure on her lips,
“Hyun-oh Oppa can’t!”
A scream, as loud as a scream, burst out.
“Huk, huk.”
She sat up and clutched her chest. It felt tight and hard to breathe. Sua’s vision, which had been blackened, suddenly brightened.
“Sua.”
“Whew…”
Hyun-oh held Sua’s trembling shoulders firmly.
“Why are you like this? Did you have a nightmare?”
Sua shook her head.
What unfolded before my eyes was more terrifying than a nightmare: reality.
