SOWD Chapter 83

Chapter 83

“Count, could you tell me what happened?”

Idel, who seemed lost in thought for a moment, asked in a serious tone.

In the past, Laszlo would have remained silent, even in front of Idel. But now, he felt an odd urge to share.

Perhaps he wanted to test Idel.

‘If it looks like he doesn’t understand, I’ll just brush it off as nothing.’

After some hesitation, Laszlo began to recount his story slowly, piece by piece.

He described how, every time he achieved military merit, others compared him to the Imperial Knights’ Commander or other grand knights, fueling resentment against him. How they pretended to praise him while subtly undermining the pride of the royal guards. How Edmund downplayed himself and highlighted what Laszlo received, creating the perception that it was unjust.

“The one who schemed to let those foolish knights who harassed you into this house was him. The one who pressured me to host a party? Also him. Do you think this is just my paranoia?”

Honestly, Laszlo felt uneasy. Of course, Idel would say it wasn’t, but he knew he might come off as someone consumed by a persecution complex.

However, Idel shook his head and replied with a serious expression.

“That’s a classic social attack. And quite a sophisticated one at that. It elevates his own image while putting his opponent in a difficult position, all while leaving a clear escape route.”

“…Are you serious?”

“Of course. I’ve experienced such attacks dozens, no, hundreds of times in my life. It’s impossible not to recognize them.”

For a brief moment, Laszlo felt embarrassed for spilling all the grievances he had kept bottled up. But hearing Idel understand his frustration made Laszlo feel as if a weight he had carried for so long had suddenly lifted.

For a moment, he couldn’t do anything—even listening to Idel’s words felt overwhelming.

“Wait… don’t say anything for now.”

Laszlo took several deep breaths, standing in front of Idel, who looked frozen in place.

He hadn’t realized it until now, but apparently, he had been carrying a lot of pent-up frustration. Judging by how his emotions felt ready to burst.

“Count… are you all right?”

“Phew… I’m fine now. Sorry, I must have looked pathetic.”

“How could you say that?”

Idel gave a faint smile, his expression one of complete understanding, which greatly comforted Laszlo.

“You’ve gone through things like this… a lot?”

“It was as common as eating a meal. And not from just one person, but from everyone who saw me as a rival.”

“How did you endure it?”

At Laszlo’s question, Idel hesitated. Memories of his fiercely competitive past came back vividly, as though they had happened yesterday. Days so painful that it seemed impossible he had endured them.

“I had no choice but to become… perfect. Perfect to the point where those who tried to bring me down would appear laughable.”

“And did those attacks stop once you achieved that?”

“No. Humans even resent and envy gods; how could they not envy a fellow human who seems better than them?”

Idel lowered his gaze, laughing bitterly.

“And the things I pursued were ultimately nothing more than surface-level façades. Every time I strove for perfection, it only confirmed that I wasn’t the flawless person people thought I was.”

It had been excruciating.

He had felt so angry and wronged that he thought he might explode, yet he couldn’t confront his opponents openly. All he could do was push himself harder. In those days, there was no one to console him—only people who reprimanded him.

“Living like that, I ended up as nothing but an empty shell. I had no thoughts or feelings of my own. Just an empty house built on the rules and manners dictated by others…”

Realizing he had said too much, Idel quickly shut his mouth.

“Uh, anyway, hearing what you’ve said, Count, it seems Sir Milton is even more dangerous than I thought. While I trust you’ll handle him well, he might try to approach other servants, so…”

 

But Laszlo wasn’t interested in changing the subject.

His heart ached strangely at Idel’s words, calling herself an “empty shell.”

‘That’s why, even after becoming spoils of war, she remained so composed and unshaken.’

That’s why she had no hesitation in her resolve to die.

That’s why she wasn’t fazed when she suddenly became a laundry maid overnight.

That’s why she wasn’t shaken, no matter the insults hurled at her. That’s why she could even express gratitude to someone like me, who deserved to be called her enemy—because she thought of herself as an empty shell.

Where his anger toward Edmund melted away, compassion for Idel began to flow in.

“You underestimate yourself. Excessively so.”

Idel didn’t respond. However, her awkward smile suggested she didn’t agree with Laszlo’s words.

“An empty shell, huh… If it’s a shell so perfect that no one could replicate it, then it’s not a shell at all. The painstaking effort, the torment, the despair, the endless drive—all of that is what fills you on the inside.”

The faint smile on Idel’s lips disappeared.

“I’m grateful for all the effort you put into protecting yourself. Because of that, you gave hope to me, to Rinia, and to everyone in this household.”

“To me? Hope?”

“Hey, I was just a scruffy thug cracking peanuts in back alleys. Do you think reforming someone like me was a small task?”

Idel’s faint chuckle began to falter. Her lips trembled, and tears started welling up in her blinking eyes, eventually streaming down her cheeks.

She bit her lips, but the tears flowed uncontrollably, as if a dam had burst.

She never expected that her efforts, dismissed even by her own family, would be recognized by Laszlo Crysers, of all people.

Nor did she realize how overwhelming it would feel to have someone acknowledge her struggles and pain.

“Sniff… hic, ugh…”

Lowering her head, Idel let out muffled cries, trying to suppress her sobs. She looked so pitiful that Laszlo wanted to hold her tightly.

But he didn’t.

To treat her as someone fragile just because she was crying would be an insult to her strength—a truth Laszlo now understood.

He waited silently. Idel soon regained her composure, and Laszlo quietly handed her a handkerchief.

“Thank you. I’m the one who ended up showing weakness in front of you.”

“If this is weakness, you can show it as much as you like—in front of me.”

“…What?”

“Oh, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean only in front of me. I meant, don’t cry alone, that’s all.”

Idel smiled again. The warmth in his gruff voice and clumsy words reached her heart.

In the tender yet slightly awkward atmosphere, both of them cleared their throats, trying to compose themselves.

It was only much later that Laszlo remembered why he had come in the first place.

“Anyway… um, ahem, we need to be more cautious about Edmund Milton.”

“Yes, I agree. And wasn’t his promotion to Deputy Commander of the Royal Guard rather sudden?”

“Exactly. Someone must’ve pulled strings for him. His Majesty plans to keep him close to monitor him…”

“And suggesting the party was likely a ploy to tarnish your reputation. He wouldn’t have known how much the mansion has changed. If the party had been held under the old conditions…”

“Ah!”

It finally dawned on Laszlo that Edmund wasn’t aware of the transformations in the Crysers estate.

“I thought he was just expecting me to fumble in front of everyone.”

Laszlo shook his head, ending the topic about Edmund.

“Anyway, don’t worry about him unnecessarily. Just forget about that scoundrel and clean the spot where his filthy hands touched.”

Idel chuckled, finding Laszlo’s odd remark amusing—he sounded like a jealous man.

But as she looked at Laszlo pointing sternly to her shoulder, she nodded earnestly.

---

Since the party, Rinia had found everything dull. Invitations pouring in, buying beautiful dresses and accessories, learning etiquette or dancing from Idel—it all felt uninteresting.

“Miss Rinia…?”

“Oh, yes?”

“You seem distracted lately.”

“Ah… I-I’m sorry. Where were we?”

Flustered, Rinia quickly flipped through the pages of her book. She understood how demanding it was for Idel to set aside two hours, three times a week, to teach her history, culture, conversation, and etiquette.

But instead of getting angry, Idel calmly closed the book with a gentle thud.

“When your mind feels cluttered, it’s better to take a break. How about we just have tea and chat today?”

Rinia, who had been tense, thinking Idel was upset, relaxed and slumped her shoulders, offering a sincere apology.