SOWD Chapter 109

Chapter 109

However, Idel quickly shook her head.

“What do you mean, a foolish thing? Honestly, I was always confident in picking up on other people’s feelings, but with you, Count, it’s difficult. Your expressions hardly change, and your tone remains the same.”

She had meant to reassure Laszlo, but instead, he found himself at a loss for what expression to make. He could easily imagine the kind of past Idel must have had—one where she had to constantly gauge others’ emotions.

At the same time, he thought that at the very least, he hoped he wouldn’t be someone she had to be cautious around.

“…If you want to know my preferences, just ask. It’s not difficult to answer, and it would be much more efficient.”

“Then, what kind of woman do you prefer?”

“…What?”

Laszlo’s eyes widened at the sudden and unexpected question.

Seeing this, Idel smirked.

“See? It’s not easy to answer right away, is it? Of course, my question was a bit too personal just now, but people often find it embarrassing to state their preferences directly. Sometimes, they don’t even fully understand what they like or dislike. The observer often knows better than the person themselves.”

Laszlo clenched his fists tightly as he watched Idel laugh so brightly, as if she had no ulterior motives.

Then, without hesitation, he replied.

“It was a surprising question, but it’s not hard to answer.”

“Really?”

“A woman who is intelligent but not cunning, warm but not naive, strong but beautiful on the inside. Well, it wouldn’t hurt if she were beautiful on the outside too.”

“……”

“Of course, the real question is whether such a person would ever like someone like me.”

Laszlo chuckled as if it were a joke, but Idel answered with a serious expression.

“You will definitely fall in love with someone like that, Count. You deserve it, and you are someone who knows how to give that much love in return.”

Her words were undeniably kind. Yet, for some reason, Laszlo couldn’t feel that warmth.

‘So… you’re saying that person isn’t you.’

It would have been better if she hadn’t said anything at all. But the way Idel spoke, as if it had nothing to do with her, left Laszlo feeling empty inside.

“…Well. It still seems like a distant dream.”

With that ambiguous remark, he turned away.

---

The winter preparations went smoothly without a single issue.

However, when Idel returned to her room, her expression was far from cheerful.

‘His expression changed so suddenly…’

The atmosphere had been good when they first started inspecting the mansion together. Laszlo had even cracked a few jokes, and their conversation had been filled with smiles and laughter.

Even when they came across a pile of coal sacks haphazardly left in front of the wine cellar, he had let it slide generously.

But from the moment they reached the storage room, Laszlo’s face had noticeably hardened.

And Idel had a rough idea of why.

‘I overstepped.’

The moment the words “what kind of woman do you prefer?” left her lips, she had felt that she had made a mistake.

‘Why did that even come to my mind…?’

She couldn’t understand why she had said it. She could have simply agreed with whatever he said, but instead, she had challenged him with such a rude question.

‘Maybe I was unconsciously dwelling on what Rinia said.’

A few days ago, Rinia had suddenly visited Idel’s room and started complaining about her older brother.

“If I only judged by the atmosphere at the gatherings and parties I attend, I’d say my brother has little chance of a happy marriage.”

“Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“People misunderstand him. The mildest things they say in front of me are, ‘He’s scary,’ ‘I don’t know what joy he finds in life,’ ‘He doesn’t seem like he’d care for a family,’ or ‘He looks like he has no emotions.’”

At first, Idel thought it was just the nobles looking down on Laszlo and Rinia again.

But when she voiced her concerns, Rinia firmly shook her head.

“No, they don’t look down on him—they’re scared of him. And apparently, he almost never smiles in public. People say they can’t even imagine him smiling.”

Rinia let out an exaggerated sigh, as if deeply troubled.

“I want my sister-in-law to be someone who truly understands and cares for my brother. But at this rate, the Emperor will probably just assign him a suitable match.”

“That won’t happen. The Count is turning down all proposals now, but once he decides to marry, offers will flood in. I’m sure one of them will be a good match for him.”

“And how can you tell just by looking at the proposals? Marriage is just about matching conditions on paper. Those women don’t know the first thing about my brother.”

Rinia’s sharp remark left Idel without a response.

Rinia continued venting, murmuring about how her brother had never truly been loved, how pitiful he was, and how she hoped someone who truly understood him would appear.

Since then, Idel had started to view Laszlo’s marriage prospects differently. She felt that instead of focusing on conditions, she should pay more attention to the personality of the person.

‘I should first find out what kind of woman the Count likes…’

That was why she had blurted out such an inappropriate question today—without even considering how Laszlo might feel about it.

But his unexpected answer had struck her deeply.

“Intelligent but not cunning, warm but not naive, strong but beautiful on the inside.”

It felt as if he were describing someone who was the complete opposite of her—someone who had been too foolish to escape when she should have, someone who had lived as a pawn for both the Canyon County and the Lancaster Duchy, and someone who had ultimately become a prisoner because of her own weakness.

‘To Count Crissus, I must seem incredibly pathetic.’

And for some reason, that thought hurt.

‘It would have been easier if he were truly indifferent.’

If Laszlo had been the cold and unfeeling man she had initially believed him to be, none of this would have mattered.

If he had remained a distant figure, then she wouldn’t have cared about the contemptuous gazes of others, nor would his words and expressions have affected her so deeply.

But Laszlo was kind—despite pretending not to be.

Every word he spoke was laced with sincerity and consideration. He was someone with stronger morals than anyone she had ever met.

And because of that, even his passing remarks made her heart ache.

‘For some reason, I always feel so small in front of him.’

It wasn’t because he held her life in his hands. Even if they had met as equals in aristocratic society, she would have felt the same way.

Unlike her, who had lived as a mere puppet of her family, he was a man who had built and fought for everything he had.

‘Yes, someone like him belongs with a wise, warm, and strong woman. He should meet her as soon as possible…’

Idel found herself worrying about Laszlo’s marital prospects, even though she had no plans for her own future.

‘I should tell him to start accepting proposals next year. Even if we’re not just looking at conditions, we still need proposals to meet potential candidates.’

If Laszlo was reluctant to choose a bride, then she would help shortlist the candidates for him.

‘And the wedding should be as grand as possible to draw attention from high society.’

She imagined renting the largest temple in the capital, decorating it with white lilies, white ranunculus, satin ribbons, and blue drapery.

Under the warm sunlight, Laszlo—dressed in the suit she chose—would gaze tenderly at his veiled bride. How beautiful that scene would be.

Perhaps Rinia would even shed tears, unable to hold back her emotions. It might be slightly improper, but on that day, people would surely understand.

‘And I… should stay out of sight, overseeing things from behind the scenes…’

But her imagination stopped abruptly at that thought.

As soon as she pictured herself standing in the shadows, watching from afar while everyone else basked in joy and celebration—

‘Yes… It’s better if I remain unnoticed…’

It wasn’t sadness.

Yet, for some reason, tears threatened to fall.

‘I must be weak. I’ve grown too used to relying on him.’

She took a deep breath.

The early winter air suddenly felt much colder.