SOWD Chapter 103

Chapter 103

“This couldn’t have been done by my efforts alone, could it? It was all thanks to you, Barbara, and the entire Chrysus family.”

“You’re too modest. But at least show some signs of hardship in front of Count Chrysus. If you don’t say anything, that blockhead won’t even notice.”

At those words, Idel chuckled softly.

“Actually, it’s the opposite. Count Chrysus insists on overcompensating me to the point where it’s almost troublesome.”

“Overcompensating? Idel, aren’t you underestimating your own worth?”

“No, really.”

Seeing Barbara’s skeptical gaze, Idel recounted all the things Laszlo had given her—or tried to give her.

The blank check he suddenly thrust at her, the excessive salary, the generous treatment, and even the extravagant earrings.

As Barbara’s furrowed brows gradually relaxed, they tightened sharply again when Idel mentioned the earrings.

“Earrings? You mean he gifted you jewelry?”

“He said it was because I wouldn’t accept money, so he bought me something instead. I was so shocked…”

“…Let me take a look at those. Just to make sure he didn’t buy you some cheap trinket.”

Wanting to dispel Barbara’s lingering doubts about Laszlo, Idel willingly fetched the earrings.

And Barbara quickly realized they weren’t ordinary.

“Honestly, I have no idea when I’m supposed to wear such enormous diamond earrings.”

Idel shook her head with a laugh, but Barbara’s expression turned more serious.

“This is… too much to be simply a reward for hard work.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying. He overestimates me.”

“Hmm. To be honest… I don’t think that’s it.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Barbara tore her gaze away from the dazzling earrings and looked at Idel, who tilted her head in confusion.

“Idel. Think about this as if it were someone else’s story. Say a female servant received an expensive piece of jewelry from her male employer. What would you think?”

Idel’s expression stiffened.

“B-But, Count Chrysus didn’t mean anything by it. I think he just happened to buy it while shopping for Lady Linia’s jewelry… Oh! And he told me to sell it if I didn’t need it! He probably chose a gemstone for its liquidity since he kept trying to give me money.”

Barbara didn’t press the flustered Idel any further. Instead, she simply smiled faintly and nodded.

“Alright, that could be the case. And since no one else knows about it, there’s no chance of strange rumors spreading… Anyway, you weren’t offended by the gift, right?”

“Of course not. I was just grateful he thought so highly of me. And I felt a bit guilty, too.”

Idel didn’t seem to doubt Laszlo’s intentions, but Barbara firmly believed there was some meaning behind his gift—whether Laszlo himself realized it or not.

‘They say a man gifting jewelry to a woman is usually an expression of possessiveness.’

Still, there was no need to confuse Idel with that idea now. She had already planted a seed of thought, and in time, Idel would come to her own conclusions.

For now, Barbara had a different concern.

“Idel. This is a bit off-topic, but…”

“Yes? Please go on.”

“You’re still young. To be honest, I have yet to meet a lady in high society more beautiful and intelligent than you.”

“You flatter me. I’m already twenty-five.”

Though twenty-five, her deep, perceptive eyes and mature aura made her seem older. Yet, her fair, flawless skin, elegant posture, and slender figure also made her appear younger.

Barbara gazed at the still-radiant Idel and spoke.

“Stop talking like an old woman. Twenty-five is the perfect age to try anything. I just want you to enjoy life more—fall in love, travel, dance, sing…”

Idel knew Barbara meant every word. But for her, such things were out of reach.

In name, she was the housekeeper of the Chrysus estate, but in reality, she was a prisoner under Laszlo’s custody. Not once had she forgotten that fact.

She didn’t want to argue with Barbara, but she also didn’t want to give empty replies just to appease her.

“For someone in my position, it’s not that simple. That’s not to say I’m unhappy. In fact, if I could continue living like this, I wouldn’t ask for anything more.”

“I will make sure that ‘prisoner’ status of yours is erased. So don’t worry about that.”

“Even just hearing that means a lot to me. If that ever happens… maybe then I could dance and sing. Maybe even travel someday.”

Idel’s voice took on a wistful tone, but Barbara was not satisfied.

“Why only that? You can love, too! If you wish, you can even get married.”

“…Me?”

Idel widened her eyes in surprise before lowering her brows, chuckling as if she had just heard a silly joke.

“You know that’s impossible for me.”

“Why is it impossible? Because you were married once before?”

“Because that ‘once’ was to the Duke of Lancaster.”

Her smile turned melancholic, like the fading light of a late autumn evening.

That only made Barbara speak with more conviction.

“None of that was your fault. There will be a man who understands and accepts that, and if you want, you can have a happy family.”

Barbara’s unwavering gaze was as firm as someone professing their faith.

But Idel couldn’t meet her eyes.

‘There’s no way I’m allowed such happiness.’

To receive love and give love in return.

She had longed for such relationships since childhood. She never even dared to dream of a romance like those in novels—she simply wanted a place where her heart could rest, even if just within a family.

But…

“Idel.”

Lost in thought, Idel felt Barbara grasp her hand firmly.

“Trust me. Your life will become much better.”

If Laszlo kept his promise and handed over Idel, Barbara was determined to restore her status.

She had even arranged for part of her own inheritance to go to Idel. That was how confident she was.

But what concerned her most was Idel herself.

“So don’t close your heart. Don’t block the path to happiness. I know you’re scared and exhausted from all the pain, but shutting yourself off from happiness out of fear is foolish.”

It was only then that Idel realized—she was afraid of happiness itself.

Looking back, she had always felt anxious about any sign of happiness.

She never fully opened up to those who approached her warmly. Despite accumulating savings, she never indulged in finer clothes or shoes.

She kept to a small, controlled world, working tirelessly—as if that was the safest way to exist.

“Barbara… I like things as they are.”

“Idel!”

“I’m scared. If I greedily reach for happiness beyond my means, I might lose even the peace I barely managed to grasp. That terrifies me.”

Idel shut her eyes tightly.

She understood what Barbara was saying.

But having been rescued from the brink of hell, she knew how miraculous her current peace was.

And she would never let it go.

“This is… my final wish. I won’t ask for more, so please, just let me live like this… Every night, I pray to Para for that.”

When she opened her eyes again, her earlier turmoil had vanished, leaving only a quiet smile.

“Of course, even this life isn’t guaranteed to last. But that’s fine. I just want to… quietly exist, unnoticed, until I fade away.”

Barbara’s face twisted with distress.

“Idel! Get a hold of yourself!”

Her voice was sharper than ever.

“You’re drowning in self-pity. Do you think you’re the tragic heroine of some novel?”

“Barbara…? No, that’s not—”

“If not, then why are you treating your own life like it belongs to someone else? You are responsible for your own life! How can you be so careless about it?”

Idel was stunned—she had never seen Barbara this angry before.

But she had no words to refute her.

“Count Chrysus keeps praising you, saying you’re the most trustworthy person he knows. But how can you take responsibility for his estate when you’ve already given up on your own life?”

Barbara’s every word struck deep.

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