Episode 8. Lovers of Spring

“I’m insane.”

I screamed the moment I got up.

“Completely insane. I’ve lost it. Luisha, you are out of your mind!”

As I tore at my hair and flailed, Jenny, who had come in with washing water, jumped in shock and ran over.

“My lady, what’s wrong?! Why are you pulling at your perfectly fine hair?!”

“Ahhh, Jenny! What do I do? I’ve seriously gone mad!”

“Let go of your hair and then talk!”

With tears welling up, I buried my face in both hands, and I could feel Jenny panicking beside me. I wanted to explain something, anything, but my head was still a chaotic mess, filled with nothing but last night’s third crisis. I groaned and kicked off the blanket wildly.

Even if I was under the aphrodisiac’s influence, still! How could that happen, Luisha Arpen!

That sensation boiling up from deep inside. My pupils dilating. The sweetness of Heliod’s lips. His burning red tongue.

Tongue, tongue, tongue!

“Waaaah!”

I fell into despair again and thrashed around under the covers.

How did the dream even end last night? I must’ve reached climax dozens of times, and only after begging and tormenting poor Heliod, who pleaded he couldn’t finish because of the crisis, did I finally collapse in exhaustion. I had smiled, lost in that dizzying pleasure—but when I woke up, I was completely clear-headed…

I’m doomed.

Truly, utterly doomed.

I let out another scream, then sprang up from bed. Jenny flinched and stared at me.

“Jenny.”

“Y-yes!”

“Bring me some stationery.”

I couldn’t just sit here like this.

“Are you writing to the knight?”

“Yeah. It’s important. Hurry, hurry!”

“Right away!”

I needed to write a grand apology letter. I mean, who would’ve thought that aphrodisiac would be that strong? I’d given it to someone else before, but I’ve never taken it myself!

With a miserable face, I grabbed the stationery Jenny brought and hastily began scribbling with a quill.

[Sir Knight, good morning. About that crisis we faced………]

As time passed, the memory of that night became clearer, and my face grew redder and redder. I’d been trying to approach him carefully, unlike with other men, and now I’d kissed him like it was nothing.

[……so I was wondering if I could see you for a moment—do you have time?]

Before dance practice, I hoped we could meet briefly and talk, so I even added a line at the end to set up a time to meet.

Perfect. Flawless. As I sent the letter off with the messenger bird, I gazed out the window. The sky was as blue as Heliod’s eyes, and the clouds as white as his eyelashes.

I sighed, hoping he wouldn’t think too badly of the unspeakable, shameful act that occurred during this crisis, and waited for his reply.

But then…

“Jenny, what time is it now?”

“It’s 1 p.m.”

Why…

“Jenny, now?”

“It’s 3 o’clock.”

Why hasn’t he replied?

“Jennyyyy! Did any letters come?!”

As soon as I finished dinner and stepped into the bedroom, I rushed over to Jenny. She hesitated, then handed me a note with a troubled face. It hadn’t come via messenger bird—it was delivered by a servant. On that note, there was only one line.

[I don’t think I’ll be able to meet you for a while. I’m sorry.]

My mouth dropped open.

Heliod had rejected me!

❖ ❖ ❖

“I’ve lost it.”

I muttered while popping a sweet strawberry covered in whipped cream into my mouth. Quasa sighed as he picked up his teacup.

“Don’t tell me… you called us here because of that?”

Mary and her older brother Quasa, both narrowing their identical black eyes, sighed in unison.

“What do you mean that? I’ve been sending letters non-stop, but it’s been two whole days with no reply!”

“Mm… Lusha, maybe you should stop sending those letters for now.”

Mary flipped her light blue hair back and crunched down on a cookie.

“Other young ladies have started to catch wind that something’s going on between you and the knight.”

“What?!”

I slammed the table and shot up from my seat.

What do you mean, rumors already?! Heliod’s one-sided cold shoulder only started two days ago!

“How could this spread so fast? People around here get news way too quickly.”

As I furiously broke a cookie in half and ground my teeth, Mary sighed and took the plate from me.

“That just shows how serious you are about your knight. Seems like someone’s stationed a servant or maid near the temple to watch his comings and goings.”

“Isn’t that, like, illegal?”

“Definitely. And apparently, we’ve got our own people watching them, too.”

Of course. Classic Count Jedediah family. They’ve got their gossip network spread across the entire city, always on the hunt for the next headline.

Quasa responded to my comment and passed the plate Mary had taken to a waiting attendant. The servant replaced it with a fresh plate of cookies and hurried off. As I reached to vent my frustration again on the cookies, Mary snatched them up and popped one into her mouth.

Left with no choice, I bit into a strawberry and chewed, trying to calm myself.

“Why is he avoiding my letters? Why won’t he meet me?”

“Maybe he’s busy? Didn’t he just receive his title?”

At Mary’s suggestion, I shook my head.

“No. Even when he was busy before, he always replied to my letters.”

More than that, he’d stayed up late cutting into his sleep just to practice dancing with me in secret. No matter how occupied he was with duties as Grand Knight Commander now, that wasn’t enough reason to avoid me.

I let out a deep sigh.

Even if I try to think positively… there’s only one reason, isn’t there?

Ever since the third crisis ended, Heliod had been keeping his distance…

“Did I push things too far… and now he’s running away?”

“Push things?” Quasa raised an eyebrow.

“Well… something kind of happened recently.”

“Don’t tell me you treated him like you do the others.”

“No, I was careful! But… it was a situation where I had to do it!”

I poked at my cake with a fork, glancing nervously at Quasa. Sure enough, both he and Mary stared at me in shock.

“Lusha, you touched Baron Vus?!”

“The Empire’s hero and Grand Commander of the Holy Knights, who’s taken a vow of chastity?!”

“Uhhh.”

Not only did I touch him—we didn’t go all the way, but we definitely spent hours indulging in all kinds of foreplay and pleasure. Of course, it was all because of that wretched demon’s scheme…

I couldn’t even begin to explain, so I stuffed a piece of bread in my mouth and chewed in silence. Quasa sighed, cradling his head.

“Lusha. He’s the one who brought peace to the world. You should’ve at least shown some respect and consideration.”

In other words, because the knight is pure and innocent, I should’ve held back.

“I did show consideration!”

Of course, I teased and harassed him constantly through letters, but Heliod had never directly pushed me away—he only said no with words.

‘…Wait, has he really never pushed me away?’

Thinking back on my style of romance, which was basically charging in headfirst, I started to worry. As I sighed deeply with a gloomy expression, Mary looked at me, concerned.

“More importantly, how’s the Duke reacting? Didn’t he always dislike the temple folks?”

“Yeah. He’s super against it.”

On the day of the third crisis, I fell asleep suddenly and couldn’t wake up, but Father didn’t even have time to worry—he went straight to the palace for his duties as an aide. And for some reason, he’s been stuck there ever since. Something about His Majesty assigning him a critical task, or so Mother said—but honestly, I was just glad I didn’t have to hear any nagging.

Suddenly, I felt just how many walls there were between Heliod and me.

‘My family’s opposition… and now Sir Heliod rejecting me…’

I looked down, on the verge of tears. Quasa and Mary exchanged glances, falling silent.

It was Quasa who broke the quiet.

“Hey, don’t stress so much. Weren’t things going well? Sure, the Baron’s way too good for someone like you, but… according to Mary, it seemed like there was potential.”

“Things were going well…”

I saw him often during dance practice—it was nice.

“Then don’t just sit around waiting. Go to him. If he’s avoiding you because of sudden… contact, then you can talk it out.”

Quasa, who’s somehow managed to date one person for nearly four years, raised his cup, acting all wise and smug.

“He’s right, Lusha. Didn’t you two agree to go to the upcoming spring party together? If you don’t clear things up now, it’ll be awkward then.”

“…Should I go back to the temple?”

“Yup.”

Mary nodded and grinned mischievously.

“By now, I bet all the other noble ladies have figured out there’s tension between you and the Baron and are bombarding him with invitations to the ball. If you don’t act fast, your knight might get snatched away.”

“What?!”

They’re trying to steal my man at a party hosted by my own family?! Treacherous.

That’s it—I’m done. The fragile wall of reason I’d been barely clinging to crumbled in an instant. I jumped up, my golden eyes flashing with solemn resolve.

“I need to send a letter and visit him. This can’t go on.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

After all that overthinking, Quasa let out a sigh at the simple conclusion. He glanced at his pocket watch.

“Alright, I’m heading out now. My fiancée’s waiting.”

He says that like it’s official—show-off.

I pouted but nodded and stood up. Might as well strike while the iron’s hot. If I’m gonna send a letter, it has to be now.

“Don’t forget to greet my mother before you leave. I’m heading out first!”

“Got it.”

Mary waved lazily. Without looking back, I left with Jenny.

Yeah, if something inside Heliod changed during that third crisis, I need to find out. Especially if it’s related to me!

As I marched off with determination, I heard Quasa and Mary muttering behind me.

“Lusha’s seriously into him.”

“Right? For her, waiting two days is like an eternity.”

“The Baron really is something else.”

To have that arrogant noble lady in such a frenzy.

Hearing Mary’s comment, I suddenly stopped in my tracks.

Seriously into him?

My head spun.

Wait… don’t tell me… am I really serious?

❖ ❖ ❖

My hair swayed gently under Jenny’s brush. I stared at the beautiful face in the mirror, lost in thought for a long while.

‘Do I… want to marry the knight?’

Not just in the simple sense of wanting such a handsome man next to me in the morning—but Heliod Vus. Did I truly want to marry him? I pondered deeply.

But no matter how much I thought about it, the conclusion was always the same:

‘It’d be nice to marry him, right?’

Great personality, great body. I could bring him in as a son-in-law without worrying about titles, and he seemed like he’d be thorough and responsible with his work. Above all, if that face proposed to me… I’d be so spellbound, I wouldn’t be able to say anything but yes.

“Ah, this isn’t it…”

“Gasp—don’t like it? Should I put it up?”

When I sighed heavily and lowered my head, Jenny panicked, her face falling. I quickly waved my hands, but thinking I disliked the hairstyle, Jenny rushed over with a few jeweled pins. I didn’t mind either way, so I shut my eyes with a serious expression.

‘Come on, think straight, Luisha. Are you really serious about the knight?’

I didn’t know. What I did know was that Heliod wasn’t like the other men I’d dated or played lovers with. Whenever I took a step forward, he’d retreat. And if I stepped back, he’d give me that sorrowful gaze—like a frightened puppy. He had me chasing after him for months. If it hadn’t been for the demon’s curse, even holding hands would’ve taken a month. Actually, we probably wouldn’t have even met at all.

“Lady Luisha, how about this hairstyle?”

“Hmm, I like it. Good work, Jenny.”

Leaving a few strands loose, she had twisted the rest up into a neat bun, securing it with a lovely pin and decorating it with small flowers. My pink hair shimmered like a piece of art. I checked my outfit and hair, then jumped to my feet and walked outside.

‘Serious or not, what matters now is Heliod.’

I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was he avoiding me because I, helplessly lost in aphrodisiac, had seduced him? Or was it because I had hurt him with my impulsive actions? I needed to know.

Either way, I’d caused him distress—that was the one unchanging fact…

“Ugh, I’m seriously going to die from nerves.”

When I’d boldly declared my plan to Mary and Quasa, I hadn’t felt like this—but now my heart was pounding like crazy, full of anxiety. Clutching my chest, I climbed into the carriage with Jenny.

Charge first, think later. I’d already sent the letter, so he’d know I was coming. Praying we could have an honest conversation, I clenched my hands tightly, my face set with determination.

❖ ❖ ❖

Was I expecting too much?

“I’m sorry, but the Commander isn’t available to see you right now.”

Even a quick chat… or just seeing his face would be enough.

“Is he really that busy?”

“It’s, um, not exactly that…”

Keron, vice-captain of the Seisior Paladins, stood blocking the corridor leading deeper into the temple. He scratched his light blond hair, looking nervous.

“We truly apologize, my lady, but the Commander said he’s not in a state to receive guests and asked me to send you back.”

“So then why…”

I trailed off.

If it were the Heliod I knew, he would’ve sent a letter ahead of time, telling me not to come, sparing me the trip. Seeing as he didn’t reply to my message saying I’d visit today… he must have hated the idea of avoiding me like this, hesitated for a long time, and in the end, could only send Keron to turn me away.

I clenched my fists and lifted my head.

“Alright. If Sir Vus says so, I can’t do anything about it.”

“My sincerest apolo—”

“However, I plan to stay and attend the afternoon prayer, evening prayer, night prayer, and dawn prayer before I leave, so please let him know he’s welcome to come by if he has time.”