Chapter 148
The contents of the book were so vivid that Killian felt as if he had become the villain in the story.
Recently, he had been dreaming about Sophia dying.
No matter what he did in the dream, she died.
He closed the book, tore it up, screamed, and cursed himself as the villain, but nothing changed.
Sophia got into the carriage he sent, but the carriage crashed as expected, and she died as the villainous Killian desired.
“You died, and I couldn’t do anything…”
He stood helplessly outside the book, merely watching his villainous self commit atrocities.
Waking from these dreams, he could never fall back asleep, his heart always torn by the vivid and horrifying images.
The dreams were so vivid and horrifying that he always wanted to check immediately if Sophia was still alive.
Desperate to punish the self who killed her in the dream, he would pull at his hair and hit his chest until it bruised.
“…I’m afraid the dream will become reality.”
Killian’s broad shoulders trembled and hunched in helplessness. Sophia cupped his cheeks with her hands, the warmth spreading across his pale face.
“That will never happen.”
Sophia nodded firmly, meeting his eyes with certainty.
She repeated to herself: I am the protagonist. My ending will be happy, no matter what.
Many stories with happy endings…
Sophia’s light green eyes held his gaze.
“Killian.”
With his name on her lips, Sophia kissed him on the lips lightly.
Then.
“…Shall we get married?” (T/L: Yass pls do.)
Sophia proposed the happy ending many stories ended with.
Killian’s eyes widened.
“Sophie…” (T/L: In raw, he sometimes calls her Sophie and not Sophia, so to clear this up this is not a mistake from my side.)
“We’ve been engaged for quite some time now, haven’t we?”
Sophia smiled brightly, lifting the corners of her mouth.
As Beatrice mentioned at their last tea time, it was no longer unusual for them to get married.
Sophia wanted to rid herself of the lingering sadness whenever she had to return to Fraus, the face she thought of before falling asleep, and the worry that came to her every time she couldn’t get to see him.
She also wanted to stay by Killian’s side in the now-empty mansion after Garfield’s departure.
“But…”
Killian lowered his gaze.
In truth, he desperately wanted to marry Sophia as well.
Waking from nightmares, he longed for her warm breath and presence.
He wished for it.
To wake up hearing her gentle breaths, to hold the only happiness he had, to kiss her and laugh together.
To spend both day and night with her.
But he couldn’t propose to her because he couldn’t guarantee the future.
The Black Moon, Beatrice, the truth, Rosarphi, the illegitimate child…
His life was filled with uncertainties.
He didn’t want to drag his beloved Sophia into that turmoil.
So even if he woke from nightmares, tormented, he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to lie next to him.
He only hoped that when everything was resolved, he could formally propose to her.
But.
“I love you, Killian.”
Sophia was always bold enough to walk with him in his life.
“Sophie.”
“I love you.” (Sophia)
Sophia lightly bumped her forehead against his.
At that moment, a burning passion surged from the centre of Killian’s chest.
Like an unstoppable flame, Sophia spread throughout his life.
“I love you too, Sophie.”
He finally nodded.
He wanted to embrace Sophia as his life partner and spend both day and night with her without parting.
“I want to be with you, too.”
Killian gently held Sophia’s hand, which cupped his cheek, and kissed her palm.
Then he deeply inhaled her scent.
Her warmth spread, calming all his anxieties.
“I love you, Sophie.”
His breath, along with his confession, tickled her palm.
* * *
The mansion felt particularly empty after returning from the funeral.
Was the mansion always this vast?
Sophia had returned to Fraus, and Garfield was dead.
Due to Killian’s arrest and Garfield’s death, the other employees found it difficult to even breathe loudly.
A different servant, not Garfield, came to take his coat, and Killian trudged heavily upstairs to his room.
“Shall I call a doctor?”
The servant asked, observing his complexion.
The doctor had said he needed to rest for more than a fortnight, and the servant was worried he had overexerted himself due to Garfield’s funeral.
But Killian shook his head.
“No. Rest will be enough.”
It wasn’t about medication or treatment.
Killian was about to lie down after lightly tidying himself when someone knocked on the bedroom door.
“What is it?”
“M-Master… I have something to tell you.”
A familiar voice. It was Ben, a long-time servant of the mansion.
It was unusual for him to come and speak separately like this, but Killian replied, “Come in.”
After his permission, Ben cautiously opened the door and entered.
“If you have something to say…”
“Um… well…”
Ben hesitated at the door, glancing at Killian’s expression.
Sweat beaded on Ben’s forehead.
“Ben?”
Killian called out, wondering if there was something else, and Ben’s lips quivered before he suddenly knelt.
“I’m sorry, Master!”
Ben placed his hands neatly on his knees and bowed his head in apology.
Killian’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at the unexpected apology.
However, Ben kept repeating his apologises without explaining the reason.
“Ben, calm down and tell me what this is about,” Killian said gently.
Ben spoke in a trembling voice, on the verge of tears.
“…The Empress is watching you, Master.”
Killian’s expression froze as he heard Ben’s confession followed by a sob.
He already knew the Empress was monitoring him.
Some of the spies had been sent away, and others were used to deceive the Empress.
Garfield had been one of those people.
However, Ben was someone the Empress had planted without Killian knowing.
Killian let out a bitter laugh.
“So, why are you telling me this now?”
His words were laced with sarcasm.
He should have been trying to extract information from Ben, especially after losing Garfield, but he couldn’t help his harsh tone.
But Ben didn’t run away.
“With Butler Garfield’s death, someone needed to inform you, Master.”
Ben confessed everything to Killian.
How he had become the Empress’s spy and how he had come to the mansion.
“And recently, I was ordered to frame you as the Black Moon.”
“…!”
“Of course, I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t bring myself to do such a thing.”
Ben lifted his head.
“We—myself and the other servants—know how much you’ve cared for us, Master. Other households’ servants envied us.”
Killian remained silent, his lips tightly shut.
As Ben said, Killian had always tried to care for the people who worked for him at the military police and the mansion.
He had hoped that by treating them sincerely, someone might eventually reach out to help him.
Perhaps a small crack would appear in the cage surrounding him.
But despite years of effort, no one had reached out to him first.
This left Killian feeling profoundly lonely.
At times, he blamed his shortcomings, wondering if he was on the wrong path or fundamentally flawed.
He often felt like giving up on this seemingly insane endeavour of talking to a wall that never responded.
“…If I may explain, I was afraid. The Empress knows my entire family and my dear friends.”
A single word from the Empress could endanger those he loved.
He wasn’t in a position to resist the injustice.
Even if he complained, a lowly person like him would be executed for insulting the Empress.
Killian looked down at the weeping Ben.
A mix of anger, resentment, pity, and incredulous gratitude boiled within him.
“…So why are you only telling me this now?”
“No matter how lowly, we are still people who understand gratitude.”
Ben confessed that the Empress had ordered him to testify.
He was supposed to say he saw Killian sneaking out on the day of the incident.
But due to Garfield’s actions, he didn’t need to testify.
“Others received similar orders. But no one could speak. And… we soon understood why Butler Garfield died.”
Garfield hadn’t left a message, but those involved with the Empress understood.
Why he died and why he had to die.
“In this situation, we couldn’t remain silent anymore.”
(T/L: Woah)
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TRANSLATOR:
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