Chapter 145
After waking up and falling asleep several times throughout the night, Killian finally opened his eyes when the mild fever that had plagued him gave way to a slight, more manageable warmth.
Though it was still some time before dawn, he couldn’t sleep any longer, perhaps because he had fallen asleep early last night.
‘Sophia…’
He turned his head to find the space beside him empty.
Instead, a small note lay where Sophia had been. With a weak hand, Killian reached out and managed to read the words in the dim light.
[I’ll be back in the morning.]
The note seemed to indicate that Sophia had left it so he wouldn’t worry if he woke up and found her gone during the night.
He could feel Sophia’s heart, which was filled with regret for leaving a note even though she said she would come back in the morning, and at the same time, a corner of my heart felt empty.
His room had always been solitary, but today it felt especially large and empty.
With a rough hand, Killian brushed his face.
Lying alone in the silent darkness, his thoughts started to surface in his now clearer mind.
‘Your innocence has been proven. The Black Moon appeared last night.’
Killian recalled Mikhail’s words from earlier that day.
Who could it be?
Anyone skilled enough to attack Estelle and defeat Ian must be truly formidable. The only person he could think of with such skill was Mikhail.
‘There’s no way my brother would do that.’
Killian sat up.
‘But if it’s not him, then who…?’
He remembered Mikhail’s joyful expression when he was the first to visit and celebrate his release. Mikhail had helped him get out of the underground prison, after all.
He should have asked for more details about what happened yesterday, but there had been no time.
‘I really came out knowing nothing.’
What had happened while he was in prison?
‘Come to think of it, they said they cleared out the secret space.’
Killian turned his gaze toward the door connected to his study. He vaguely recalled hearing that Orhelin had discovered and searched the secret space while he was up earlier to take his medicine.
‘Although they said they managed to hide everything…’
The thought of someone else entering his personal space bothered him. He was curious and concerned about how Sophia and Garfield had managed to organise everything and progress.
Unable to remain in bed, Killian quietly got up. Despite a moment of hesitation due to the pain, he managed to take a step.
It was tough just to reach the study adjacent to his bedroom.
‘What a pitiful sight…’
Supporting himself, Killian slowly made his way to the study.
As he opened the door, he noticed a faint, lingering smell of something having been burnt, likely from Sophia and Garfield burning the documents.
Though the smell had mostly dissipated, traces of it remained.
When Killian glanced at the fireplace, he saw that the ashes had been neatly cleared away, leaving only dry firewood.
He then turned his attention to the rest of the study.
The arrangement was slightly different from what he remembered. Items that should have been in drawers were out, and the order of the books and the setup of the desk had changed.
‘The esteemed Orhelin knights surely didn’t clean up after themselves. The servants must have had a hard time.’
The servants, unfamiliar with the original arrangement of his items, had seemingly tidied up as best they could. Despite his feelings about others handling his belongings, Killian pushed aside his discontent and approached the bookcase.
As he reached for the familiar red book, he noticed that the bookshelf door was not completely closed.
Despite knowing Orhelin had been there, his heart raced with anxiety. Pushing the door open, he stepped inside.
The once cramped space, packed with numerous documents, was now meticulously cleaned. All the notes and scraps that had been attached to the walls were gone, leaving no trace of their previous presence.
‘Sophia and Garfield must have worked hard.’
Clearing out all those materials in such a short time must have been a tight squeeze. Killian felt grateful for their desperate efforts to help him rather than lamenting the loss of his long-collected records.
In place of the old materials, the storage boxes were filled with other documents that could deceive Orhelin’s eyes, evidence of careful handling.
‘I’m grateful to Sophia, but I didn’t expect Garfield to be so helpful…’
Killian thought as he ran his hand over the now-empty wall. After discovering that Nicholas was a Rosarphi, he had treated Garfield rather coldly. His sense of betrayal by Nicholas had unfairly extended to Garfield, his closest aide.
In retrospect, he felt sincerely sorry for that.
‘I must thank him.’
As he turned his gaze, hoping Garfield would safely return to the ducal residence, something caught his eye.
‘A letter?’
There was a white envelope prominently placed on the small, worn desk he used. For a moment, Killian wondered if it was a letter from Sophia. However, the name written on the envelope was not Sophia’s.
‘Garfield…?’
Killian read the name written in neat, dignified handwriting several times. It was the first time Garfield had left him a letter.
Garfield had always been by his side, and if they needed something, they would talk. Anything that couldn’t be conveyed through conversation was usually passed on through reports or documents.
So, there had never been a need for such a personal letter.
‘…Is it because he went to see Anne without permission?’
Even so, if Garfield wanted to leave a letter, he could have asked another servant to deliver it. Why leave it in a place where no one would find it?
Feeling uneasy about the unfamiliar letter, Killian hurriedly opened it. The first line of the letter read:
[To my master, whom I cherished like family.]
Indeed, it was Garfield’s familiar handwriting. There was no doubt that Orhelin hadn’t forged and left it.
[By the time you read this letter, I will likely be absent from the ducal residence. Please understand my cowardly decision to leave my final farewell in a few lines of text.]
Killian’s eyes frozen as he read.
‘Final farewell?’
He couldn’t believe his eyes.
[I know you haven’t trusted me for a long time. I also know I haven’t been a reliable enough butler for you. But I want to tell you this one thing. You were the only master I truly served.]
Killian’s hand trembled as he read the letter. Was it because he wasn’t feeling well? The contents of the letter didn’t fully register in his mind.
So Garfield wasn’t just stepping out temporarily; he was leaving the ducal residence for good?
He hadn’t even heard the full story of what happened yet.
Killian, feeling drained, leaned back in his chair.
[Serving you has been my greatest joy. Thanks to you, I’ve been happy for a long time, and I waited for the day I could repay that kindness. Although my efforts might seem insignificant compared to the grace I received, I hope I could be of some help to you.]
Killian shook his head at the sentences that seemed to be wrapping up the past years.
‘Is he really leaving like this?’
It had been ten years.
They had spent every day together for ten years.
This wasn’t a period that could end so emptily.
Just as he had influenced Garfield, Garfield was also an important person to him.
After leaving the palace, Killian didn’t hire any other servants out of fear that his secret might be discovered.
Garfield had always been by his side.
Though he hadn’t fully trusted Garfield, he hadn’t disliked him either.
He entrusted Garfield with the management and operation of the estate, and Garfield always knew what Killian needed without having to be told.
Sometimes like a father, sometimes like a brother, and sometimes like a loyal butler,
Garfield was always there for him. Garfield was part of Killian’s daily life, his hands and feet.
Of course, Killian had considered that Garfield might leave since Beatrice was there.
But he had subconsciously thought Garfield would return out of habit. Garfield had always been at the ducal residence. Moreover, there was still much left to discuss.
[As I leave, I want to say that I wish for your happiness. I hope the light within you doesn’t fade due to revenge. While you may never forget the past, I hope you also remember to seek your selfish happiness. I wish for you to live an ordinary life someday.]
Garfield wished for Killian’s happiness.
He knew Killian had never escaped the shadow of his parents’ death, the grip of the Empress, and the ghosts of the past.
He also knew Killian ran away in fear every time he felt joy.
Killian had neglected pursuing personal happiness out of fear that he might forget his parents’ deaths in his joy or bury the past while finding peace as the Empress desired.
Garfield knew even this aspect of Killian.
‘…What did I ever know about Garfield?’
Even though Garfield had thought so deeply about Killian, Killian realised he knew little about Garfield.
Fear and doubt had prevented him from seeing Garfield’s true feelings.
(T/L: SWWYV is back again with pain. UGHHH!)
