Chapter 76
To recall the most obnoxious expression I could muster from all the years of living.
“But you asked what I was looking for.”
“If I knew, would I be searching?”
Unintentionally, I shot back at him.
Realizing my slip-up, I quickly closed my mouth and tightly shut my eyes.
“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”
As I looked at him, silently staring at me, I felt a strange sense of guilt.
Both he and I were sharp.
We were both bristling with defenses, yet there was no clear winner in this standoff.
It was best to avoid unnecessary emotional expenditure.
I cleared my throat and spoke in the softest tone possible.
“Um, I’m looking for Noir.”
“That black cat?”
“Yes.”
“Doesn’t he usually wander around?”
“Well, that’s…”
I bit my lip for a moment before continuing.
“I thought it might not be good for your health, so I moved him to the Moonlight Pavilion.”
“And?”
“He disappeared. When I went to feed him…”
My voice trailed off.
“I’m sorry I didn’t take proper care of him. I’ll make sure he doesn’t roam around recklessly.”
“I never told you to chase him away.”
“That’s true, but… if by any chance it affects your health.”
“Are you worried about that? Then I should have chased him away then.”
“But I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Because I promised to take care of him. Noir is my responsibility. And…”
I looked up at him abruptly.
“I’ll be responsible for your health too.”
He looked at me with narrowed eyes in response to my audacious remark.
He probably thinks it’s nothing.
“So don’t get hurt.”
This was sincere.
Please, please don’t get hurt.
Even if someone speaks unpleasantly, if it means they have leftover energy from it, then it’s welcome.
“…He’s the one who used to shoot at the estate, right? He must be somewhere around.”
He said, looking down at me with deep eyes.
His eyes, emitting a clear light like a lake, were fixed on me.
“Even if he runs away, he’ll just end up back at the estate. We got rid of the snakes last time, and there aren’t any other natural predators.”
“But if he gets chased by mice…!”
“What?”
He furrowed his brows as if suspicious of his own ears.
“By mice.”
I said, full of worry.
“Noir is afraid of mice. When I first found him, he went into the chimney to escape from them…”
“I hear all kinds of strange things. So why do you even keep a cat? If it can’t even catch mice.”
I turned my head sharply to look at him upon hearing that.
“Why?”
He observed me with slightly bewildered eyes.
“A cat can be afraid of mice too. And it might not be good at catching them either.”
My voice trembled.
It felt like tears were about to fall.
The reason why cats, why Noir, were born into this world wasn’t to catch mice.
Why should I have to hear such things?
“What…?”
He seemed quite taken aback by my reaction.
“Why do you crush a cat’s pride like that?”
I couldn’t help but burst out at him.
“A cat! Where is it written that a cat must catch mice to prove its worth? You’re such a person, aren’t you?”
“What…?”
He seemed quite shocked.
No, very shocked.
“Where is it written that a cat must catch mice?”
I continued, and Amoide’s expression became more and more intriguing.
His eyes looked dazed, as if he had been struck in the back of the head with a heavy lump of iron.
“It’s the same for humans. You don’t need to give birth to be a wife, or have offspring to be a child.”
“…”
“That sounds heartless, like there’s no blood or tears.”
After a while of babbling, I started to come to my senses.
Did I speak too harshly?
Instinctively, a warning signal rang in my head.
Dangerous, this is dangerous.
So let’s run away quickly.
I began to inch backwards, withdrawing myself from him.
As I distanced myself from him in an instant, Amoide spoke in a low voice.
“Come here.”
“…”
I pretended not to hear and turned my head.
“I said come here, now.”
You think I will?
His stern demeanor as he spoke was intimidating in itself.
“I don’t want to.”
He seemed to grit his teeth at my response.
You’re angry?
Still not going.
Quietly chanting a mantra in my mind, I began to retreat.
“Amoide, I need to go look for Noir… I’ll leave now.”
“I said come here.”
I’m not coming!
Internally, I screamed in frustration.
“Amoide, getting worked up isn’t good for your health. You know that, right? Raymond…”
For a moment, it seemed like his complexion paled.
“Amoide?”
Despite my calling, he remained rooted in place.
Even from the distance we were apart, it was apparent how swiftly his complexion changed.
This doesn’t seem like just a mood swing.
“Are you… okay?”
I cautiously asked.
His gaze, which had momentarily loosened, was directed at me again, and the next moment, he collapsed.
“Ugh…!”
Amoide crumpled to the ground, clutching his left chest.
“Amoide!”
The moment he fell felt like it passed as slowly as a film running at a reduced speed.
Though it was fleeting, it felt like an eternal scene to me.
I hurriedly ran towards him.
Lifting his sprawled body from the ground, I cradled his face in my hands.
As I brought my fingers close to his nose, I could barely detect a faint breath.
“No, no.”
I shook his body frantically.
“Are you okay? Amoide, Amoide!”
Did I anger him too much?
Did my words inflict significant wounds?
Could I really have been the one to kill him?
Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at his eyelids, which didn’t seem to close firmly.
Tiny tears rolled down my cheeks and moistened his cheek.
Is this really the end, just like this?
Truly…
“No, no, you can’t die yet!”
I screamed like a madwoman.
“Don’t die, please don’t die, okay? Don’t die in front of me…”
I clung to him, shaking him wildly.
“Amoide, open your eyes.
Look at me.
Just open your eyes…!”
“…”
Huh, he opened them?
Between partially opened eyelids, his blue eyes gazed silently at me.
Despite the agony, his eyes were excessively clear, blue, and serene.
The moment I realized that.
Swiftly.
Before I knew it, I was looking down at him from above, his posture flipped.
“…”
The grass pricked my back, but I hardly felt it.
“Are you crying?”
He made a strange expression, amusing and surprising at the same time.
“Amoide?”
I called out cautiously.
With tears blurring my vision, his face looked blurry.
“Are you… alive?”
I asked with a trembling voice.
“Did you… survive?”
I looked at him with tear-filled eyes.
“You… survived, right?”
I reached out and touched his face.
As my fingertips touched his soft and firm skin, a sigh of relief escaped me.
He flinched for a moment but didn’t completely avoid my touch.
