Episode 50
After I was done taking the medicine, Rona and the maids began to wash my body carefully. And then after the bath, my whole body and face were massaged. Their skilled hands pushing down on different parts of my body hurt and made me itch.
After my hair was dry, it was brushed until it shone, and then it was let down loose behind my back. I could smell the soft scent of roses every time I moved. I was given thin, airy sleepwear, and a thick gown to put over it.
“I purposely tied the ribbon loosely so that it can be easily undone.”
Rona chatted happily as she helped me dress.
“Don’t worry, it won’t come undone.”
I mumbled under my breath while I listened to Rona’s words emotionlessly.
“Look, just a little bit of pressure and…!”
As Rona brushed near the ribbon that was tied around my chest with her hand, the silk ribbon came apart, as if by magic.
‘This is kind of risqué.’
I was surprised to see my own white skin peaking out between the seams of the robe. The silk ribbon really did come apart with just a ‘touch,’ just as Rona had said. No matter how many times we tried, it always worked just as Rona had intended.
“What are you doing, tsk?”
I quickly covered my chest with the robe and muttered.
“What do you mean? It’s a rehearsal.”
Rona gave a small squeal while covering her red cheeks.
What a waste. I would have said more, but Rona thought Amoide would untie this, so I just let out a short sigh instead.
“Put your shoes on now.”
Rona got some soft silk shoes and placed them on my feet.
* * *
Knock knock.
Rona opened a small crack in the door and took a step back. After walking into the bedroom, I saw that the room was already softly lit by incense candles.
“Have a great night.”
The door shut with a soft whisper from behind.
Thud.
The door closing behind me was louder than usual.
“…”
I slowly turned my head to see what was coming. Inside the bed, where the curtains were, there were dark shadows. When I thought about the man who would be sitting there, my heart got heavy again.
How often has it happened since that day?
I thought back to the time I first walked into this room, pretending to spend the night with him. I should have gotten used to it by now, but I couldn’t. I would never be able to keep my cool in this situation, no matter how many times I went through this. Absolutely not.
I walked across to the big bed in the middle of the room. The distance felt unusually long. Amoide sat up in the bed and looked at me like he always did…
Uhm… now, I’m not sure.
As I walked towards the bed, we met each others’ eyes. Amoide was looking at me, but his eyes weren’t as sharp as they used to be in this situation.
I sighed in relief.
“It’s very late. Please get some rest. I’ll go to the next room…”
I bowed my head and turned around while mumbling.
But then I heard a voice I didn’t expect.
“Come over here.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said to come here.”
“…”
I rolled my eyes and wondered what the heck was going on. I must have heard wrong, surely? When I slowly turned my head, I looked straight into his deep blue eyes. The look in those eyes told me that what I had just heard was not a mistake.
I took a careful step forward. I walked up to him very slowly and with some hesitation.
‘Please don’t look at me that way.’
Don’t your eyes hurt? He didn’t blink once as he kept his eyes on me. I took one step at a time toward him. The space between the door and the bed seemed even longer.
“I’m… here?”
I stopped close enough that I could reach out and touch him.
“Sit.”
He looked at me and patted the spot next to him. Someone once said that if someone does something they don’t usually do, it’s ominous. I didn’t want to get such a bad feeling from the man I wished a long life.
Oh, please God.
‘Tell me to get out,’ I said to myself.
Why is he acting so differently all of a sudden?
“Can’t we talk while I stand here?”
I paused and then spoke. He raised his eyebrows and smiled softly as if he found my response funny. I felt like I was going to die when I saw him like this. It was very reminiscent of the fake wedding night we had – like there was a monster that was about to eat me.
‘Oh, why is he like this now?’
It was scary, very scary.
When I thought about what he had done with that smile, my body started to reject him right away; my heart was beating fast, and both my pulse and breathing sped up. It was a clear fight or flight response.
“Why are you so scared?”
“Me? No, I’m not.”
“Really? Then forget it.”
He smiled again as he looked up at me.
“I heard something interesting.”
He dragged his voice out. It seemed deeper than normal, perhaps because it was night.
“Interesting…you say?”
“I want to tell you about it.”
“Yes?”
Objectively, his smile should have looked kind, but when I looked at him, my heart started to beat faster.
What does he mean? Why? Why is this happening? Why does it feel like an alarm is going off in my head?
“Are you curious?”
He smiled again, this time with his eyes closed.
“I was thinking about why everyone is so worried about my health lately. It looks like I’ve caused a lot of trouble.”
He looked at me with eyes that said a lot.
Poke, poke.
Again, I felt like someone was sticking a needle into my chest.
“That’s because everyone cares about you,” I said.
I answered and tried to sneak further away. I had a terrible feeling about this.
“They were afraid I wouldn’t be able to do what I had to do.”
I forced a strange smile and kept moving away. When he noticed my actions, he pulled a face of confusion and tilted his head.
“Don’t you want to sit down and talk?”
“No, that’s not it. It’s just…”
I saw him partly rise from the bed.
Swish.
I felt him grab my arm, and I was pulled toward him in an instant.
Thud.
I could feel the softness of the sheet against my back. When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw that Amoide’s large body had created a dark shadow over me.
“Well, how about this?”
Two bright blue eyes looked at me from the darkness. My chest felt like it was plunged in ice. When I looked down, I saw something that scared me.
‘This can not be happening!’
Earlier, the pressure had caused the ribbon on my chest to come loose.
‘Why is it now coming apart? Why?! ‘
<I purposely tied the ribbon loosely so that it can be easily undone.>
I thought of Rona’s innocent smile.
‘Rona, Rona! What do I do?’
I screamed for Rona, but she wasn’t there. My face was filled with shock, but Amoide looked completely calm. Nonetheless, for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking that he was about to explode like a volcano with molten lava. But at that moment, the thing worrying me most was the undone ribbon in front of my chest that seemed to have been placed purely to show off.
“Ah…!”
I looked down again and tried not to scream when I saw that my chest was bare. I tried to move and grab my clothes so that the opening wouldn’t get any bigger, but it didn’t help. In fact, as I writhed around awkwardly, the fabric, which was already hanging dangerously, started to slide down even more.
“Did you do something that would make you feel wrong and guilty?”
A grumpy voice suddenly came from above. My mind, which had been partly gone, snapped back.
“Wait, what? What did I do?”
My eyes had been looking down, but I slowly turned them up. I had temporarily forgotten because I was flustered about my bare chest. But right now, the guy above me was…
“Amoide.”
A man with deep blue eyes, like a blue fish, was staring at me with a look that could kill.
“Stop playing games.”
I tried to get up after that. But nothing went the way I wanted.
Thud.
His hand pulled my body back down.
“Playing games?”
His voice had gotten louder and louder. Anyone who heard it could tell that this wasn’t playfulness.
‘Then why is he doing this?’
I opened my mouth and kept moving around.
“Yes, it’s just a game.”
No, it doesn’t seem like a game.
“I’ve been playing along with your games the whole time, haven’t I? Now, I’d like it if you played along with me.”
As he talked, he used one hand to grab my struggling arms and pinned them above my head. I couldn’t move my hands at all as I looked up at him.
“Amoide, let’s… let’s talk. Can we please talk?”
I was panting. I thought my heart would burst out of my chest because it was beating so fast.
“Talk? No, I’m too tired.”
He looked fiercely, straight down at me. His words seemed to have come to an end. I could feel his breath close to mine. His presence and the seriousness of the situation were too much for me.
And now, what would happen? Was this the end of the confusing words or the start of something else? My heart beat fast because I didn’t know what was coming.
As the air got more heavy and intense, I collected all my strength to face whatever was coming.
